The grumpy thread

[Cheggers]

Driving to the office along the M4 this morning I noticed a 64 plate Jag XF pottering along the hard shoulder doing 30-ish.

 

As I got closer I realised he had a flat rear tyre, and it was only when I reached him I saw the tyre had gone and he was running on the rim!!

 

 

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[Sheefag]

'Crusing with Jane McDonald' on CH5. A great programme (idea) ruined by a fucking moronic non-entity presenter. 

 

Never knew you were into the gay scene, explains a few things mind.

[michael1703]

Im done. Fuck it.

 

Went to pick up some replacement roof tiles and the MGF shat its front wheel bearing on the way home. Not just "a bit rumbly", but suddenly 30mm of slop and horrible grinding.

 

Fix one thing, two other things break. House...work...cars....its all just getting right on my tits at the moment.

 

I am sick of it. My shite mojo has been kicked in the balls and then kneed in the face as it bent over.

 

Forums too. I just cant be fucked. Everything seems to be so petty and insular. Not just here....a few others I use too. Since I have a problem with more than one, to be honest its probably me thats the problem so thats it.... Time to check out for a while.

Unlike

 

Take pics of work to show us some other time when your back though

 

A toute le monde mon amis

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Come back soon Dave! You're one of my favourite shite contributors.

[twosmoke300]

Yeh have a break Dave numbers but please do come back .

[Pillock]

The tram's alright, it can take you from Meadowhall to Sheffield Center, if you must go there. Apparently it comes all the way to Halfway which is only about a mile from my work. 

 

Never got the hang of Halfway being a place, and not a description.

"How am I going to get to your place?"

"Get t'bus t'halfway and then just walk round the corner"

*Thinks..... why not just walk all the way if it's that close?"

 

Fav memory of the tram was some scallies dumping a Mk2 Astra on the tracks on the elevated bit near the end of the Parkway, they'd managed to get it a fair way from the nearest road.

[Lankytim]

Throttle spindle seal on the Pilot is weeping fuel. FML.

[bub2006]

Good Sheffield description there Pillock. Mind you sounds like how I talk except I don't say the. It's just walk round corner!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Throttle spindle seal on the Pilot is weeping fuel. FML.

When I first read this , I thought you meant a Ford Pilot, then I remembered your Sherpa.

I must be very old because I always think P4 at first when someone mentions Rover 75 too.

[vulgalour]

I bought the OMGBARNFIND Renault 6TL three years ago.  Three years!  In all that time I've not managed to get the thing running.  I think I hate it.

[Guest Hooli]

My red rubber grease is missing & I know exactly where it should be. I now can't fit the new fuel filter on my bike when the paint is dry. FFS.

[Craig the Princess]

The 4x4 towing a 55 plate Megane on a trailer in front of me earlier.

 

Just ignore me flashing headlights and blowing the horn and dropping back as your trailer tyre delaminates. You keep doing 50 until it completely peels off the rim.

[cort16]

Got a weld spark down the ear hole today. Not had one of those since the sd1 days . Highly unpleasant .

[Cheggers]

Ouchie, that's got to be pretty unpleasant

 

 

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[cobblers]

Aye man, thats fucking horrible isn't it?

Happened to me a few years ago when I was welding a cat onto my mums MX5 at the side of the road.

I was wedged under the car and couldn't turn my head or move to get it out and just had to listen to it sizzle.

 

When I think back, I reckon that was the exact turning point where I stopped being nice and doing favours and just told people to take their cars to the garage if they needed fixing

[vulgalour]

I know you mean a thing cars actually have, but I have a mental image now of teenage you actually welding a real live cat to your Mum's car to see if she'll notice.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Petrol in the ear is friggin awful as well, when I got a lugful it hurt so much I decided to take myself to hospital! but by the time I'd extricated myself from under the car, shifted the tools out the way, locked the garage and got half way to the ozzy it stopped hurting. 

[cort16]

I must have hit a bit of wob or under seal, which immediatly exploded causing a fizzer which went in my ear . You feel it go all the way down .

I previously put paper roll in my ears to stop it going down and set the paper on fire. You do that once .

[Guest Hooli]

I remember the sizzling sound as it buries itself in your skin well, lovely isn't it?

[DodgeRover]

I must have hit a bit of wob or under seal, which immediatly exploded causing a fizzer which went in my ear . You feel it go all the way down .

I previously put paper roll in my ears to stop it going down and set the paper on fire. You do that once .

Sounds like new age ear candling to me, add a bit of whale noise and you could charge good money for the experience.

[Sheefag]

My red rubber grease is missing & I know exactly where it should be. I now can't fit the new fuel filter on my bike when the paint is dry. FFS.

 

Ask Cavcraft, he's into the gay thing now.

 

[xtriple]

as going to post this yesterday but was so tired/achey that I couldn't be arsed. It was a glorious day, warm, dry, sunshine(!) and the traffic coming back through Paignton towards Torquey along the seafront was... horrendeous! Full on nose to tail for about 5 miles and people doing ridiculous things, which is un-noteworthy. But, I was stuck, rear windows were down (as usual for the mutts) and the stereo was playing 'Pink Floyd; so just chillin' out and letting the hassle wash away from me.

 

Suddenly, voice through the back window: 'You can spare some money to fund a new charity obviously' said by a toothless gurning turd whose dog (on a bit of string natch) promptly jumped up at the back door putting fucking scratches down it that won't polish out. I must admit, that my easy going peace was shattered in a milli-second and I flipped/freaked out, the dog (Chester who was peacefully asleep on the floor with his head on the transmission tunnel) did the same and went fucking ballistic and nearly launched himself through the window.

 

Now that takes some doing for a small, fat Basset(ish) that had walked so far his legs were an inch shorter than at the beginning of the day, and I absolutely fipped at the mong/retard (these words are reserved purely for idiots as described, anyone with an affliction would never be addressed as such) and told him to fuck off sharpish before dire things happened to him.

 

Quite what, I have no idea as cripple but, setting the dog on him sounded good but knowing Chester, he would have been side-tracked by a strange bum that needed sniffing rather than 'attack'! As he retreated from our mutual tirade, he was still calling out and the last I heard was him trying to give me a 'just-giving' e-mail address.

 

So is this the new begging routine?

 

Back door now multi-grooved and MORE paintwork required!

[Guest Hooli]

Sounds like a scummer needs a kick in the heed & made to pay for the door. What an utter wanker.

[M'coli]

Weld sparks in the ear are the reason I wear earplugs when welding!

[richardmorris]

Hell, not the Bentley? I must admit getting paint done on a car seems to automatically attract every scratch and car park ding going. Saw a ding on the n/s front yesterday that definitely wasn't there before. Must have been a car door.

[Kiltox]

Overtook someone in a Astra GTC thing just then - quiet road, good visibility, dry conditions. They were doing about 35mph in a 50

 

Cue horn blaring and light flashing

 

Stop at a junction further ahead where I'm turning right and wait for them to catch up to find out what's fallen off the Laguna this time

 

"What's the problem?"

"Bit dangerous overtaking innit? And you've got a brake light out"

"No traffic and I can see for miles, how is it dangerous?"

"You've got a brake light out"

"How does that make an overtake dangerous?"

"You've got a brake light out"

"You've got a brake light out"

 

FFS

[puddlethumper]

On the way to Tesco this morning and nearly went into the side of some moron in a small red 65 plate thing. I don't know what it was coz anything new I don't have a clue. 

Urban dual carriage way with roundabouts. Me outside lane, her inside lane at roundabout. Instead of following her lane round she cuts straight into mine as I'm alongside her. I had to slam the brakes on and blast the horn after which she wobbled around and got back on her side of the road. Probably on a phone. Did feel like putting the corner of mine into the soft side of hers but didn't need the insurance hassle, especially as they put your insurance up even if its not your fault. 

It isn't the first time I've had that round here. Stupid, curse word for a woman.

I take it this happens elsewhere but round hear its nearly every effing day.

[Guest Hooli]

Overtook someone in a Astra GTC thing just then - quiet road, good visibility, dry conditions. They were doing about 35mph in a 50

 

Cue horn blaring and light flashing

 

Stop at a junction further ahead where I'm turning right and wait for them to catch up to find out what's fallen off the Laguna this time

 

"What's the problem?"

"Bit dangerous overtaking innit? And you've got a brake light out"

"No traffic and I can see for miles, how is it dangerous?"

"You've got a brake light out"

"How does that make an overtake dangerous?"

"You've got a brake light out"

"You've got a brake light out"

 

FFS

 

Had one of those friday. Loooooooooooong straight wide road so I went past some doddering fucknugget doing 40-45 in a 60. Lots of horn blasting & lights flashing etc before I was even alongside them. I had my parents in my car with me & my dad whos near 80 said 'what a moron, they shouldn't be driving'

 

FFS, fuck nuggets.

[Guest Hooli]

On the way to Tesco this morning and nearly went into the side of some moron in a small red 65 plate thing. I don't know what it was coz anything new I don't have a clue. 

Urban dual carriage way with roundabouts. Me outside lane, her inside lane at roundabout. Instead of following her lane round she cuts straight into mine as I'm alongside her. I had to slam the brakes on and blast the horn after which she wobbled around and got back on her side of the road. Probably on a phone. Did feel like putting the corner of mine into the soft side of hers but didn't need the insurance hassle, especially as they put your insurance up even if its not your fault. 

It isn't the first time I've had that round here. Stupid, curse word for a woman.

I take it this happens elsewhere but round hear its nearly every effing day.

 

I've learnt to out brake them just in case, once your slightly in front even their limited brain power notices you there.

[meshking]

I've learnt to out brake them just in case, once your slightly in front even their limited brain power notices you there.

Well, if you're in front then you've claimed the corner by racing rules so it's all good as far as I can see (and I'm sure* the police and insurance would back me up on that).