The grumpy thread

[nebuchenezer]

It's a conspiracy by Rover-enthusiast pigeons...

A Rover, A farkinn Rover??????

 

How very dare you!!

 

Theatrical Turn and flounces off stage left.

[Wilko220]

A Rover, A farkinn Rover??????

 

How very dare you!!

 

Theatrical Turn and flounces off stage left.

I think you misinterpreted my rubbish joke slightly 😀

[Des]

They have to leave it looking as if it's never been hit by a lorry - otherwise your property has had a good deal of value literally knocked off it: if it's happened once and it still shows, how does any prospective buyer be assured that it won't be hit again?

 

Scratch and dent the side of a car with metallic paint, a decent professional repair doesn't show where the filler is nor where the paint blends in, does it?

 

You're quite right, insurance job on some car that will become a washing machine within the decade has to be spot on so I think it shouldn't be too much to ask the same for a house that will probably be around in a century.

I've been very short on time while all this crap has been going on, and now playing catch up but I maybe I'd best take tomorrow off and get shouty with the insurance guys. That flank wall was already shaken up by a Doodlebug going off nearby 70 odd years ago, twenty years ago it had brick stitching repairs carried out, damaged bricks chiselled out and replaced, in four top to bottom locations, then all rendered and covered in Texcote. After the impact long vertical hairline cracks appeared, I assume these are where new brickwork met old, builders drilled holes every foot or thereabouts along these cracks and sploodged in some kind of mastic which now shows through the paint like shiny snail trails. The wall has been secured with ties into both levels, now in fairness I was warned that these ties wouldn't be invisible, but in reality they are only apparent from the track of a cutting disc in the surrounding masonry. It's now occurring to me that the house exterior has gone from a coating which hasn't needed any attention in 20 years to a paint finish, and as all modern paints R shit and just coloured water it'll be flaking off by next spring.

I almost got through life avoiding dealing with builders.

[DeeJay]

 

Des,

Cover the patch with a couple of "amusing" signs.

[gordonbennet]

Des, if you lived in a 15 bedroomed bloody mansion in Sunningdale instead of a normal gaff (and had a dodgy handshake to boot), they wouldn't have dreamed of leaving that patch looking like a bloody sticking plaster.

[DodgeRover]

You're quite right, insurance job on some car that will become a washing machine within the decade has to be spot on so I think it shouldn't be too much to ask the same for a house that will probably be around in a century.

I've been very short on time while all this crap has been going on, and now playing catch up but I maybe I'd best take tomorrow off and get shouty with the insurance guys. That flank wall was already shaken up by a Doodlebug going off nearby 70 odd years ago, twenty years ago it had brick stitching repairs carried out, damaged bricks chiselled out and replaced, in four top to bottom locations, then all rendered and covered in Texcote. After the impact long vertical hairline cracks appeared, I assume these are where new brickwork met old, builders drilled holes every foot or thereabouts along these cracks and sploodged in some kind of mastic which now shows through the paint like shiny snail trails. The wall has been secured with ties into both levels, now in fairness I was warned that these ties wouldn't be invisible, but in reality they are only apparent from the track of a cutting disc in the surrounding masonry. It's now occurring to me that the house exterior has gone from a coating which hasn't needed any attention in 20 years to a paint finish, and as all modern paints R shit and just coloured water it'll be flaking off by next spring.

I almost got through life avoiding dealing with builders.

Have it done with Monocouche Render its coloured and is supposedly good for at least 10 years without paint

[Supernaut]

While walking to work today, I faltered for a couple of steps and actually considered turning round, going home, and switching off my phone.

 

I didn't actually do it though.

[M'coli]

Des, if you lived in a 15 bedroomed bloody mansion in Sunningdale instead of a normal gaff (and had a dodgy handshake to boot), they wouldn't have dreamed of leaving that patch looking like a bloody sticking plaster.

If he lived there, he wouldn't have been woken up by a friggin lorry coming through the wall!!

[Richard]

I thought I might give the van a wash today, with the power hose at work it shouldn't take long. Except someone has burst the hose on it and tried to mend it with insulating tape. Something like that happens every time I try to do anything in the workshop, I'm glad I'm out most of the time.

[Cavcraft]

The garage my lad used to work st had a jet wash mostly used by the dodgy haircut types with Transit pick-ups full of conifer cuttings that mysteriously used to get fly tipped.

The hook of n the wall for the jetwash was enough so you could leave it with the 'trigger' open fully and leave it aimed at the coin slot a bit further down the wall.

[AMC Rebel]

I think I have become the 'grown up' version of the kid in that film, where he see's dead people.... only I see utter fucking cunts everywhere! I seem to have got an utter stranglehold on being a 'grumpy old man' and hate everyone and everything.

 

I seem to be unable to utter a single pleasantry to anyone and just want to wander the streets with an Uzi and see how many I get before they get me.

 

I have been gripped by a similar affliction lately.  I got told off by a young lad on a scooter last week - the annoying thing was although he was a cheeky git, he had a point, but I'd made a simple (and very minor non-safety related) error of judgement not committed the mass genocide his tone and language would have led you to think.

[puddlethumper]

Self service checkout machines piss me right off especially in Asbo and B(arsted)Q. If the bill is so many £s and 21p for example the change will be along the lines of 3x20p, 3x5p, and 4x1p. Its always the smallest shrapnel shit that fills ya pocket or wallet and you end up with a limp or big muskles from the weight. I've never had a 50p and 10ps are very rare and they keep telling me to do things after I've dun em. I hate being told what to do.

[jakebullet]

I haz been to see the endocrinologist man. Barrel of laughs being interrogated as to exactly how I fail to service Kinky Girl. He then says my pituitary gland is prolly fucked, and have this magic testosterone gel.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

^impressively mundane whinge that one, 10/10

 

*****EDIT: I mean the one about the coins

[Bobthebeard]

Self service checkout machines piss me right off especially in Asbo and B(arsted)Q. If the bill is so many £s and 21p for example the change will be along the lines of 3x20p, 3x5p, and 4x1p. Its always the smallest shrapnel shit that fills ya pocket or wallet and you end up with a limp or big muskles from the weight. I've never had a 50p and 10ps are very rare and they keep telling me to do things after I've dun em. I hate being told what to do.

Go to an actual checkout and use a card?

Non valid grump for a variety of reasons.

[gordonbennet]

I hate self service checkouts, taking peoples jobs away and another nail in the coffin of simple human contact, which might not be a problem for us now (i avoid people like the plague anyhow) but some old uns that bit of human contact at the shop might be the only people they get to speak to some weeks.

[strangeangel]

Self service checkout machines piss me right off especially in Asbo and B(arsted)Q. If the bill is so many £s and 21p for example the change will be along the lines of 3x20p, 3x5p, and 4x1p. Its always the smallest shrapnel shit that fills ya pocket or wallet and you end up with a limp or big muskles from the weight. I've never had a 50p and 10ps are very rare and they keep telling me to do things after I've dun em. I hate being told what to do.

 

Works the other way round for me - I only use those if I have a large pocketful of shrapnel to get rid of.

[Richard]

Vending machines tend to do the same thing, again that works both ways.

[omegod]

Got home to find the pricks who look after our estate have wet tarred the path outside my house, completely across the frontage ! 10,000,000 yards of gaffa tape cordoning it off ............How the fuck am I supposed to get over the wet 6 ft span ??? 

 

I can do all sorts of really clever stuff but I can't bastard levitate !!!!!!!!!!

[Timewaster]

Bloody B and Bastard Q don't even have proper tills any more.

Just a whole row of self service checkouts that aren't sensitive enough to recognise small parts so you stand there for ages being told to place the item in the bagging area while a spotty tattooed yoof attendant ignores your plight.

[Cheggers]

I have an irrational dislike of the use of alternative/ "funny" names for things & places - Asbo instead of Asda, Twatter instead of Twitter, Faceache/ Farcebook/ Faecesbook...I could go on.

 

Why, just why??

[Mally]

Got home to find the pricks who look after our estate have wet tarred the path outside my house, completely across the frontage ! 10,000,000 yards of gaffa tape cordoning it off ............How the fuck am I supposed to get over the wet 6 ft span ??? 

 

I can do all sorts of really clever stuff but I can't bastard levitate !!!!!!!!!!

 

Is it dry yet?

[strangeangel]

Bloody B and Bastard Q don't even have proper tills any more.

 

Wow, I didn't realise any retailer had got rid of attended checkouts completely. I usually use Wickes for that sort of thing, but I shall give B&Q the swerve altogether from now on then.

[Cheggers]

I don't think it's all B&Q's, my local one still has a couple of human till operators.

 

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

[Pillock]

I've seen B&Q have been putting in self serve, they're absolutely fine. Makes it quicker to just buy and leave without the chit chat.

Are you sure there were no real checkouts? I went into one where the self serve was one side the staff office and the regular ones the other, but B&Q probably sell more stuff you can't put through a self serve than any other store (cut to measure chain and wood, heavy products, mixed paint.... all that jazz) so that would be odd if they've scrapped the old checkouts.

 

+1 on the odd names. I gave up trying to work out what ASBO was. 

[scaryoldcortina]

They went one better with my local B&Q - they closed it down entirely. Nearest is now an extra 10 miles, so I've been going to Travis Perkins instead.

[Tamworthbay]

I have an irrational dislike of the use of alternative/ "funny" names for things & places - Asbo instead of Asda, Twatter instead of Twitter, Faceache/ Farcebook/ Faecesbook...I could go on.

Why, just why??

Usually because they describe the sort of people that use them or the effects they have on people who use them, they are also used by those of us who know that the multiple occurrence of their names can cause them to be bumped up search results and want no part in the promotion of such shite, hence why I always use the term facefuck

[Supernaut]

Seeing as we're all having a go at the way each other talk / type.

 

"Hence why"

 

FUCK OFF.

[omegod]

Is it dry yet?

 

Nope, nor is it dry on my lovely boots 

[EssDeeWon]

I hate self service checkouts, taking peoples jobs away and another nail in the coffin of simple human contact, which might not be a problem for us now (i avoid people like the plague anyhow) but some old uns that bit of human contact at the shop might be the only people they get to speak to some weeks.

 

Agreed to a certain extent but there are two convenience stores near me. A Co-Op and a Sainsbury's Local.  The co-op is a fuckin nightmare, just normal tills but only ever one or two fuckers serving, so a pint of milk can mean a ten minute queue. The sainsburys local has three self service tills as well as a couple of people serving, never had to queue in there once.

 

Guess which one I always go to?  Despite the co-op being slightly closer.