The grumpy thread

[Rocket88]

Just called FJ,and the cock on the phone was adamant that i cant buy insurance by Direct Debit on their site,and that their system had said i had paid in full,(if i was really dodgy i would have agreed) after saying that no,i hadnt,id paid a £59 deposit and was supposed to be another 3 installments he said he would look into it.After 3 hours on hold he said that he would have to set it up manually so short story is they hadnt done it,so now got to wait for the forms to come through.

 

FJ are a bunch of self abusers of the highest order..............shame, because they used to be excellent.

[richardmorris]

I've just taken out the new Aviva policy on the merc - card got decline for security reasons first time and then had to go through a rigmarole of confirming recent transactions.

[fordperv]

earlier today a twattish taxi driver was on a junction to emerge onto my road, saw a truck with trailer coming and obviously thought "yeah ill pull out in front of you as you can stop on a penny" but guess what the truck driver had no reaction time let alone any form of stopping distance and ploughed the taxi a good few hundred yards, no doubt the taxi driver will attempt to claim all sorts of injury.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Leave your name and number with the lorry driver then and tell any interested parties what you saw! F88king taxi drivers man, half of them are deaf and blind I think

[Cavcraft]

Why is starting an XUD in the grumpy thread? I blood love cranking mine over then letting it sit at idle for a few minutes on an ice cold early morning start. Not only do my lucky neighbours get the wonderful sound of the engine, they also get to see a chip fat smoke screen if they look out of the window.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Sodding new flask has done nothing but leak. Today I found it had spat coffee all over my bag nearly causing a disaster and soaking my sarneys. It'll teach me not to buy this kind of thing from morrisons

[Timewaster]

The only thing better than an XUD in the morning was my old Rover 115D. A proper knockey growly clatter just so wrongly coming from a turquoise metro.

 

It always had that shock / supprise that you get from a cute little kid swearing.

[dugong]

The only thing better than an XUD in the morning was my old Rover 115D. A proper knockey growly clatter just so wrongly coming from a turquoise metro.

 

It always had that shock / supprise that you get from a cute little kid swearing.

Was that not a TUD?

[chaseracer]

Yep - 1.5; XUD was 1.7/1.9

[twosmoke300]

Girls engines , you want morning growl its gotta be a 2.5di tranny or a perkins prima.

[gordonbennet]

Nah, you want a freezing cold (vivid memory of Crawford Arms Hotel circa winter '76) lorry park full of Gardner 180 engined old lorry chod, after about 3 minutes of churning the buggers might clatter into life on 2 pots, see choking gasping drivers stagger half blinded to an upwind spot till those bloody old tugs warmed up, after about 10 mins some of them might even be up to 4 or 5 cylinders, after about 20 mins most of 'em would be chugging on all 6 and the half acre of white smoke fog has started to disperse.

 

If it was really cold half the buggers would start pegging out 2 miles up the road as the fuel waxed solid, cue oily rag and a nice little fire under the tank.

 

Ah, the good old days.

[Station]

Why is starting an XUD in the grumpy thread? I blood love cranking mine over then letting it sit at idle for a few minutes on an ice cold early morning start. Not only do my lucky neighbours get the wonderful sound of the engine, they also get to see a chip fat smoke screen if they look out of the window.

 

I loved that with the Peugeot! That XUD sound!

[Station]

Only 6 months to go of horrible weather. Got to start putting the heating on now and get raped 20 quid a week for the pleasure of being not cold (but not warm) in my house. If I cranked it up so it did actually heat the house (or at least my room) I'd be paying way more (including the 'service of providing your gas' they have applied on top).

[sporty-shite]

I fired the ZX up on the street near uni the other day and accidentally emitted a cloud of partially burned diesel straight at two girls off my course. I'm hoping they didn't realise it was me!

[dollywobbler]

FJ are a bunch of self abusers of the highest order..............shame, because they used to be excellent.

 

They were superb. Quite a lot of years ago. Then they got very big. I can see why Peter James decided to start again.

[vulgalour]

My insurance policy is limited mileage.  I told my insurer I'd done 100,060 at the start of the policy when I'd actually done 100,600 (something I only found out tonight when double checking), successfully short-changing myself of 540 miles.  I'm pretty sure they won't believe me if I tell them of my mistake.

[Jon]

What you need is a Nissan LD28 with crap glow plugs. Finished a shift at work, glow plugs on for an inordinate time but still nothing. So, hit the manual glow plug button a while longer (the Commodore was converted years ago), which always results in unburnt diesel clag. It was at that point however that the utterly useless temp. worker who had been counter productive all shift decides to get in to her car, parked beside mine. Cue perfect comedy timing of all the clag wafting in to her car just as she closes the door.

 

 

Only 6 months to go of horrible weather. Got to start putting the heating on now and get raped 20 quid a week for the pleasure of being not cold (but not warm) in my house. If I cranked it up so it did actually heat the house (or at least my room) I'd be paying way more (including the 'service of providing your gas' they have applied on top).

 

What you need is a wood burning fire that heats your hot water cylinder. We have electric only (I do really miss a gas hob) and turn our water heater off when we start lighting fires, usally April-September. Saves us about $1 - 50p - a day and means our power bills go down to something silly, like £20 - £25 a month. The downside is dealing with all the firewood but my supply is free (friendly farmer) and all the chain sawing and wood splitting keeps me active.

[mat_the_cat]

Bloody lightning! We had a couple of thunderstorms earlier, and during one of them the internet dropped out. Went upstairs to reset the router and as I was doing so there was a nearby strike and the router flashed and popped rather alarmingly. Only the power light remained on so I guessed it was knackered, but thought I'd better unplug the phone line anyway.

 

I then phoned up Orange to request a replacement, but they insisted on checking it to see if that really was the problem. To my great surprise they told me it was responding perfectly to their checks, at which point I remembered that I hadn't actually plugged it back in! I've now dug an old one from the loft, so back on the internet (yay!) now.

[Inspector Morose]

Nah, you want a freezing cold (vivid memory of Crawford Arms Hotel circa winter '76) lorry park full of Gardner 180 engined old lorry chod, after about 3 minutes of churning the buggers might clatter into life on 2 pots, see choking gasping drivers stagger half blinded to an upwind spot till those bloody old tugs warmed up, after about 10 mins some of them might even be up to 4 or 5 cylinders, after about 20 mins most of 'em would be chugging on all 6 and the half acre of white smoke fog has started to disperse.

 

If it was really cold half the buggers would start pegging out 2 miles up the road as the fuel waxed solid, cue oily rag and a nice little fire under the tank.

 

Ah, the good old days.

All I have to say to that is Leyland 500 series in 50 Nationals in a freezing cold yard in Cannock. A bit of Gardner blue? A mere trifle in comparison!

[dave21478]

Two letters in the post today. The first was an electricity bill.....a refund of 273 euros - Champion.

Next was a tax bill. 284 euros - Ffffffuckkk yooouuuuuuuu.

[Joshua_090]

I fired the ZX up on the street near uni the other day and accidentally emitted a cloud of partially burned diesel straight at two girls off my course. I'm hoping they didn't realise it was me!

I believe Girls like that kind of thing, as long as you did it in a cool way of course.

[myglaren]

Only briefly, and the battery is only 4 months old!

 

My foglights seem to switch themselves on independantly of the switch,so doing it before I fire her up means I can peer into the side of a neighbors car and check their off! Must buy new switches for them...

 

It's October, therefore mandatory to have foglights on at all times.

 

Everyone around here seems to think so anyway.

[explosive-cabbage]

Bastards.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnTNRfuDxLI#t=21

 

 

[anonymous user]

It's October, therefore mandatory to have foglights on at all times.

 

Everyone around here seems to think so anyway.

At least they have some sort of lights on. The other evening I nipped up the M4 and M5 to collect another random ebay purchase (an antique cell door; I blame the drink), in that wonderful half-light I nearly pulled out in front of a dark grey Renault which had no lights on at all. Perhaps the driver had night vision goggles on, or being a Renault perhaps he had no working lights. I also noticed that a lot of cars drive on sides and fogs rather than dipped headlights.

 

I'm not sure what to do with the cell door, it might go on the airing cupboard, or the downstairs loo.

[panhard65]

Bastards.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnTNRfuDxLI#t=21

I did the same thing to a mini many many years ago. Only we had a bit of trouble getting through the sills so had to use the 12 bore shotgun. Should of kept the mini really they are worth silly money now

[JohnDeere]

Look what red French beauty is about to go in the crusher

 

 

For those of a nervous disposition, it doesn't actually get dropped in in the video (though a cube of red does co e out towards the end)...

[myglaren]

At least they have some sort of lights on. The other evening I nipped up the M4 and M5 to collect another random ebay purchase (an antique cell door; I blame the drink), in that wonderful half-light I nearly pulled out in front of a dark grey Renault which had no lights on at all. Perhaps the driver had night vision goggles on, or being a Renault perhaps he had no working lights. I also noticed that a lot of cars drive on sides and fogs rather than dipped headlights.

 

I'm not sure what to do with the cell door, it might go on the airing cupboard, or the downstairs loo.

True enough.  That's the other extreme of course.  Seems to be all or nothing.

[chaseracer]

Arsebiscuits

 

Speeding ticket in the post today.  First one in nearly 32 years of driving.  Still, it was a fair cop, guv... 

[STUNO]

What you need is a Nissan LD28 with crap glow plugs. Finished a shift at work, glow plugs on for an inordinate time but still nothing. So, hit the manual glow plug button a while longer (the Commodore was converted years ago), which always results in unburnt diesel clag. It was at that point however that the utterly useless temp. worker who had been counter productive all shift decides to get in to her car, parked beside mine. Cue perfect comedy timing of all the clag wafting in to her car just as she closes the door.

 

 

 

What you need is a wood burning fire that heats your hot water cylinder. We have electric only (I do really miss a gas hob) and turn our water heater off when we start lighting fires, usally April-September. Saves us about $1 - 50p - a day and means our power bills go down to something silly, like £20 - £25 a month. The downside is dealing with all the firewood but my supply is free (friendly farmer) and all the chain sawing and wood splitting keeps me active.

 

 

 

If it will not start (summer's on the way though) a Citroen is available nearby your work, and soon a Mazda !

We have gas hot water and pay about $35 a month for the privilege of having gas connected. Also have a gas fire but use the wood fire for most heat. Wood supply here is nearly free due to friendly neighbour and a farmer.

[robinmasters]

The current Audi advert really boils my piss. 'Redefining presence' my fucking arse. The car hears something it doesn't like, so it pushes it out of the way. Maybe it isn't the drivers after all, the cars themselves are arrogant, self-important bullies. And it does this with one of those stupid gimmicky pop-up spoilers.