The grumpy thread

[Negative Creep]

I'm on one of those sites - haven't had a profile view in nearly a month

[Cavcraft]

Have you tried taking the Sky remote/cock picture off?

[RedSparrow]

Some amusing examples of dating site messaging can be found here:
http://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/

[Negative Creep]

Have you tried taking the Sky remote/cock picture off?

 

 

I don't have Sky, so had to make do with one of these

 

[vulgalour]

 I always, always fall for girls who have no interest in me whatsoever and I just end up getting upset and buy another car to cheer me up. 

 

So at least there's a good site to it, right?

 

At least you don't have the problem of being attracted to the same sex but not the vacuous flaming gay-club types.  Asking a regular guy out in a regular pub is a great way to find out just how many people you can offend with one question.  Luckily, I don't have this issue anymore thanks to finding what I was looking for, but I've always absolutely dreaded the dating game, in a big part because I'm surprisingly shy and introverted about these things.

 

Online dating is the way to go, but I just sort of bumble around on Skype and forums rather than using dedicated dating sites which I've personally found to be useless.

 

Take a deep breath, ask her if she'd like to go and do something not-romantic and see if she changes her mind.  If she still says no, never mind!  You can always try again.  If only finding the ideal partner was as easy as buying a £400 car.

[alf892]

Get youself on cooking/dance/something lessons and don't behave like a testostorone fuelled twat.......

 

when one of them trusts you enough grab her tits.........

[trigger]

Just say to her "do you want to see my wood" and then show her the Atlantic's interior, that will impress her.

[Cavcraft]

Have you tried changing your picture? No offence like, but if I was a bird I wouldn't want your sausage. Nice frock though.

[Angrydicky]

Take a deep breath, ask her if she'd like to go and do something not-romantic and see if she changes her mind.  If she still says no, never mind!  You can always try again.  If only finding the ideal partner was as easy as buying a £400 car.

It is very hard, thing is I'm probably too fussy but I want to meet the right person. Buying old, shite cars is considerably easier!

Vulgalour, you are very lucky to have found your ideal guy, and the best thing is he's into interesting old motors too.

Wish more women were into old cars. Driving an Austin A35 I would have expected lots of "cute" type comments from fit 'burds' but I've never had any.

[Angrydicky]

Just say to her "do you want to see my wood" and then show her the Atlantic's interior, that will impress her.

Ha, maybe I should get it running and leave it outside her house as a hint! Sadly there's no wood in the Atlantic at all, well when I'm not driving it that is.

[jakebullet]

Finally plucked up the courage to ask a girl I like out on a date, and got rejected. 

 

Feeling quite depressed now.

 

Well done. At least you tried. You could be fast approaching 40 & still thinking about it.

[Parky]

I always found my experiences with the opposite sex were disastrous until I stopped giving a shit, suddenly it became a lot easier to confidently ask someone out for a meal/movie because you were expecting the knock back and were ready to not give a shit. When someone said yes, that was a bonus

 

So my advice would be to bob along with the tide, someone will come along and when they do, you'll wonder why you lost so much sleep and time over people in your past.

 

Internet dating is worthwhile though, WCPGW?

[warren t claim]

It is very hard, thing is I'm probably too fussy but I want to meet the right person. Buying old, shite cars is considerably easier!

Vulgalour, you are very lucky to have found your ideal guy, and the best thing is he's into interesting old motors too.

Wish more women were into old cars. Driving an Austin A35 I would have expected lots of "cute" type comments from fit 'burds' but I've never had any.

Have you considered sacking it off and just hiring a bird off Adultwork.com? A wise man once said that if it flies,floats or fucks then it's cheaper to rent. 

 

A couple of girls on there offer a full girlfriend experience, presumably that's when you go around to her flat you have to replace the cambelt on her 206 and she still whinges about sucking your cock until you clean the frottage off with a cotton bud.

[Pillock]

Seriously, internet dating.

 

Specifically, plentyoffish. That's free, so you don't have to spend any cash AND you're more likely to find a stingy lass who appreciates old cars.

 

I only signed up to get a bit of nookie and send dirty pictures, but I ended up meeting someone who apparently only signed up for a bit of nookie and to send dirty pictures. We get married this year.

[Doctormop]

Can't say much about on line dating but in 1995, pissed off with being single and never meeting anyone who was not in a relationship or frightened me shitless I joined Dateline, back then the 'Dateline computer' (sharp intake of breath it was a COMPUTER and therefore infallible) matched you with compatible singles in your area, you were then posted by stamp and letter a list of names and addresses of suitable matches in your pre defined crumpet hunting/ available soul mate area.

Armed with a list of prospective lady friends off I popped to the local stationers, remember them? and purchased their very finest Basildon Bond writing paper with matching envelopes and set too finding 'The One'. unsurprisingly a few embarrassing moments and two unmitigated disasters followed and after about 6 months I began corresponding with a young lady who I really grew to like, we met up a few times, started going out in person instead of writing letters to each other and have been together ever since, got engaged in 1998, married in 2011 (Yes I know I know) never rush into anything me.

 Suppose what I'm trying to say is, I was very close to giving up hope of meeting anyone and it just happened, a little effort from me, lots from her and the rest as they say is history, should maybe point out that when we met she was bored shitless  by cars, especially old knackered ones but has now developed perhaps a passing interest  in old motors and last week proudly showed me a pic she had snapped on her Iphone of a pre war Austin parked outside Sainsburys,

 There must be hope for us all fella 

[Lacquer Peel]

I met a lovely woman on plentyoffish who's understanding and easygoing, likes crap old cars, and got her bike, and most of her kitchen appliances at the dump, yet doesn't look like Mrs. Twitt.

She's in the boot of the Volvo now.

[Angrydicky]

I think the threat of a pre 60's car parked there works wonders.

 

When they realise that you can park it there, permanently, just sticking a new disc in annually, with  no legal need to ever move it again, they'll buckle.

 

(Don't ask how I know this!)

This. Dugong, sounds like an ideal opportunity to buy a manky old Traction Avant and leave it there permanently.

[RobT]

Dicky - I'm chronically crap at chatting women up, but meeting via friends is another good way as you're sort of vouched for then. I met my lady who I hope I'll be with FOREVAH via mates who touted me as a Geography graduate who works in Statistics. Despite that she gave me chance. I also did internet dating a few years back and got a massive two responses, which did my confidence no world of good...! Both were nice people though.

[Cavcraft]

{internet style reply} I'm incredibly ugly and uninteresting yet my missus is a cracker.

[Station]

Had a look on 'OKCupid' a few years ago and lasted about two weeks. It's full of borderline boilers who think they are too good for anyone.

[oman5]

I met Mrs Oman on an internet dating site in 2003`. I am quite shy around women I like (I think the erection puts them off). we had a couple of dates, she was impressed with the 1985 audi GT coupe I had at the time (not so much of the wanked out bedford midi i also had) and it quickly became clear we had the exact same sense of humour and we just clicked straight away.

Then I mentioned I had always wanted to buy an old ambulance to convert into a camper, "oh yeah, you have got to do that! thats brilliant!" she said. the rest is history.we ended up getting married and 10 years later still very happy. 

Mrs oman was like me, doesn't like the meeting people in pubs/clubs scene and tried the internet thing so she wouldnt have to- just like me. it can work, some people on those dating sites really are genuine.

[purplebargeken]

I would imagine the arab way of doing things is remarkably similar to the indian way of doing things........ leave it to a matchmaker/parents/friend of the family to find your ideal partner (hopefully). This is an alternative to the 'love match' that is usually much harder as Lord Sterling has found out.

 

It does work for a lot of people. 

[dollywobbler]

I'd rather take my chances thanks all the same. Internet dating should be seen as like buying a shite car. You shouldn't necessarily go for the first one you see, and a lengthy test drive is a good idea before committing. All advice I absolutely ignore when it comes to buying cars...

[Parky]

I do like the theory of the arranged thing. After it would mean that you grow up, work, save, spend time with your mates, generally enjoy life until your folks say "here is your wife".

 

If I had that arrangement in my life I would have avoided physical violence off jealous exes, materialistic cows who basically bankrupted me then fucked off with my best mate, psychos who used to call the local pubs to track me down and even hired a detective to follow me when I went out as well as the heartbreak of meeting your perfect match only to find despite her ordinary looks, her bf is a rugby playing male model who is loaded, can cook, do DIY, and has an excellent sense of humour. And whilst I have my own qualities, I know when I am beaten.

 

You do hear some horror stories mind, but even trad western style marriages go wrong. One girl I worked with was 22 and on marriage number 3......

[Jim Bell]

I got Mrs Shitpeas from off the Internet.

I was trying to buy a Flymo but was clumsy and inexperienced. Ended up with a life partner.

The lawn is fully fucked but the blowjobs are marvelous.

I'd reccomend it to anyone.

[M'coli]

Finally plucked up the courage to ask a girl I like out on a date, and got rejected. 

 

Feeling quite depressed now.

 

Well done. At least you tried. You could be fast approaching 40 & still thinking about it.

Well done indeed.  If you want to feel brave, ask her again in a week's time, perhaps just to go for a coffee or similar: she's had a week to realise that you're interested, so might just think again - she may herself be shy, but after getting over the surprise of being asked, quietly flattered that you're interested, and not so long a date as a full date.

[Parky]

I saw an ad for some singles site - I think it was elite singles or something similar.

 

Cue posh tatty saying "as a lawyer, I have to be demanding-why should my love life be any different?"

 

I got the feeling that a bag of chips down Southend seafront might not work on her.....

[vulgalour]

Dammit, now I want a BX again.  Unrelated to the above.

[Mr Lobster]

I think some of my relations (by marriage I should add) are fucking idiots.

 

Who thinks that a bucket containing 32 packets of Haribo is an appropriate present for a twenty month old child ffs.  

[Jim Bell]

 

Who thinks that a bucket containing 32 packets of Haribo is an appropriate present for a twenty month old child ffs.  

 

Me?