The grumpy thread

[dugong]

I was going to retort that by telling you that you don't have awesome purple shorts, but I don't know that for a phakt.

I HAVE NO SARTORIAL SKILLS. [rage]

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Came out of massive supermarket domestic battle after spending over £200 and apparently still 'not got any food' to discover puncture. Cue getting all the shopping back out into the rain, manly struggle with pathetic scissor jack and folded metal wheelbrace/ jack handle ,a further 10 minute frantic search for locking wheel nut key. All still in gale force driving rain of course,only to discover a 255/55 18 doesn't fit in the space vacated by a spacesaver that would look stupid on a 2CV- thanks Chrysler designers- cunts!

[RedSparrow]

Was "sheepish" one of the strippers?

 

No, quite the opposite.

[UmBongo]

Just heard DUGGA DUGGA DUGGA DUGGA SMASH outside. It was the empty house next door losing a tile. Unfortunately the tile is on their side of the roof but right on the edge of mine so no doubt the useless son who now owns the place (old lady passed away few weeks ago) will do nothing and thus put the onus on me. Any leaking will no doubt permeate my walls as much as his.

 

Swept up the mess in the wind and the rain only to have another neighbour complaining I had missed a bit and it was on their footpath. FFS

 

Wife left work 9 miles away at 2pm. Still not home five hours later because of the QE2 bridge being closed. Lakeside shopping centre is gridlocked, no food in the house, wife and kids off to NZ on Christmas Day, god I bloody hate this time of year

Your neighbour sounds like an arsehole, like most neighbours.

[chaseracer]

Not mine. Top bloke - he even texted me on Sunday when I was away visiting the aged parental units to remind me that the bins were being collected a day early because of Christmas.

I feel blessed. However, he's from Bloxwich so even after knowing him for 12 years I can still only understand about half of what he says...

 

[Parky]

Neighbours complaining about the parking on the road. Again.Someone has taken it upon themselves to stick anonymous messages on my car outlining their displeasure at where I've left it for the past ten years or so (on and off, I've lived in Lancaster and Crewe etc etc for periods). Entitled STOP PARKING HERE, it then goes on to list two sections of the RTA that they feel I'm breach of, highlighted for my delectation.Anyway, to cut a long story short, they tried shoving another [anonymous] one through the letterbox this evening, so we nipped out for a quick chat. Christ, what a self-righteous pair they were. They were a bit shocked FATHA_DUGONG and I whipped out so fast. They tried to drive away and blocked up the road in the process. Oh, the irony.Was it really needed? I can't believe that was the most constructive use of their time at Christmas. I'm not typing any more lest I slip into expletive-filled WATANABE mode. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.Also, I dropped a glass and slit my little finger open. STINGS.

Think that will be the last you hear from them. As they are no longer anonymous they now have to ask themselves the question "is Dugong a raving lunatic who will fuck us up good and proper now he knows who we are?" Love the fact they tried to drive away, shows how big and brave they are.

 

At times like this we really need so start some sort of Autoshite Response Squad for Everyone (A.R.S.E) where we do really controversial stuff like park an older vehicle on the street. Maybe even lift the bonnet on it occasionally or have a mismatched panel for maximum OMG HOUSE PRICE COLLAPSE!

 

I swear some of these people can't remember when they started out in life and had to make do and mend for a bit, unless Mama and Papa made sure they never wanted for anything.....

 

On a more important note, I hope your finger gets better!

[Parky]

Your neighbour sounds like an arsehole, like most neighbours.

To be honest he is a decent enough sort, just fucking useless. When the old lady was alive she popped over and asked if I could change one of her light bulbs for her which I was happy to do but he was sitting in the lounge watching TV. I asked him why he couldn't change it, and he said he didn't know how to!

 

I said what do you do if a bulb blows in your house, and he said he usually calls an electrician in. Like I say, nice enough sort, but useless.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Good work on confronting these cretins Dugong, I doubt you'll hear from them again. My advice would be to park in this spot that annoys them as often as possible. Maybe even sometimes sit in your car while its parked there for a few hours and give them the double thumbs up if you see them. Could get a LWB transit van and leave it in the spot for a couple of weeks as well.

[nigel bickle]

I think the threat of a pre 60's car parked there works wonders.

 

When they realise that you can park it there, permanently, just sticking a new disc in annually, with  no legal need to ever move it again, they'll buckle.

 

(Don't ask how I know this!)

[tooSavvy]

Ahh! PARKING (wars)

 

On my M&Ds Leechy estate, Winlaton, we had some 'paper hangers' too.

 

Big bloke [builder], who had one of the detached at the top of their cul-de-sac, parked his twin wheel caravan on the 'T'. Plenty of turning area, no obstruction - fine, in fact. - just BIGGER than a neighbouring couple, who had their 'sprite' alongside their garage!!

 

AneeHoo..... A flyer 'please move..' was attached - in darkest night - and he responded [not taking the original off] "really? the Foden cementmixer I'm replacing it with will be fully taxed too!"

 

I josh not.  He didn't actually bring it home mind 

 

TS

[cobblers]

I think the threat of a pre 60's car parked there works wonders.

 

When they realise that you can park it there, permanently, just sticking a new disc in annually, with  no legal need to ever move it again, they'll buckle.

 

(Don't ask how I know this!)

 

 

On that note if anyone has anything they want to park outside my house and directly across the road from me, PLZ get in touch, ideally a sherpa based coachbuilt motorhome painted in turquoise dulux. You could live out the back of it if you like.

 

Some pig thick fools have moved in over the road. They have two garages and space for at least 5 cars on two separate driveways, but instead of using any of that they park both their cars outside my house and directly across the road from me, part blocking the fairly busy road and making it a fucking nightmare for me and the neighbors to get on and off my their drives, especially in my van. Some of the neighbours and their landlord have had a word with them about it and nobody could really get any sense out of them.

 

If I'm ever shuffling cars round I just park across their drive now, they came out moaning once but I pointed out that since they've never used it yet so it being blocked for ten minutes is hardly likely to cause them any inconvenience, and if they had used it then there would be plenty of room for me to park elsewhere. 

[Angrydicky]

Finally plucked up the courage to ask a girl I like out on a date, and got rejected. 

 

Feeling quite depressed now.

[Cavcraft]

They don't improve with age, either.

[Lord Sterling]

Finally plucked up the courage to ask a girl I like out on a date, and got rejected.

 

Feeling quite depressed now.

Been there, done that. I got rejected by every girl I ever liked who I asked out. You never get used it, so I just gave up. Thats why I picked the Arab way of getting hitched.

 

Sorry, not much at advice here. That said, I am a self-loathing twat.

[UmBongo]

To be honest he is a decent enough sort, just fucking useless. When the old lady was alive she popped over and asked if I could change one of her light bulbs for her which I was happy to do but he was sitting in the lounge watching TV. I asked him why he couldn't change it, and he said he didn't know how to!

 

I said what do you do if a bulb blows in your house, and he said he usually calls an electrician in. Like I say, nice enough sort, but useless.

 

Ignatius J. Reilly, I presume?

[dollywobbler]

Finally plucked up the courage to ask a girl I like out on a date, and got rejected. 

 

Feeling quite depressed now.

 

Internet dating. SRSLY! That way, they can learn about your old car habit in advance. It does seem that there are a handful of ladies out there who actually like old tin. The chances of bumping into them on the street are roughly nil. Mrs Wobbler was concerned about my love of cars, right up until the point I mentioned the 2CV. 

[mercrocker]

On that note if anyone has anything they want to park outside my house and directly across the road from me, PLZ get in touch, ideally a sherpa based coachbuilt motorhome painted in turquoise dulux. You could live out the back of it if you like.

 

Some pig thick fools have moved in over the road. They have two garages and space for at least 5 cars on two separate driveways, but instead of using any of that they park both their cars outside my house and directly across the road from me, part blocking the fairly busy road and making it a fucking nightmare for me and the neighbors to get on and off my their drives, especially in my van. Some of the neighbours and their landlord have had a word with them about it and nobody could really get any sense out of them.

 

If I'm ever shuffling cars round I just park across their drive now, they came out moaning once but I pointed out that since they've never used it yet so it being blocked for ten minutes is hardly likely to cause them any inconvenience, and if they had used it then there would be plenty of room for me to park elsewhere. 

One (small) reason I have so many motors is cos of the jerks in my street who think they fucking own it.....Hence campervan (it was a bloody great ambulance before that) RIGHT outside plus Mrs.Rockers Merc...If I go away in either a taxfree motor takes its place and drops rusty shit and oil everywhere and they know its tax free which really grits them (cos the only thing they spend on is tax and petrol - depreciation doesnt enter their heads).   Best of all - new neighbours have visitors for Xmas with a sodding great single deck bus - established its gotta 350 Cummins.   Cant wait for that mo'fo to cold start on 2nd Jan!!!    Now piss and moan about my stuff, neighbour!

[Angrydicky]

I think what made it worse was the fact that it was the first time I'd ever properly asked a girl out. I'm incredibly shy and found it very hard, and to get rejected was a massive dent in what little confidence I had.

Never really considered dating websites, my mate suggested that as well but I always think the type of girls who go on them are mostly desperate, not all of them though I'm sure! I dunno really. I always, always fall for girls who have no interest in me whatsoever and I just end up getting upset and buy another car to cheer me up. 

[chaseracer]

To be honest he is a decent enough sort, just fucking useless. When the old lady was alive she popped over and asked if I could change one of her light bulbs for her which I was happy to do but he was sitting in the lounge watching TV. I asked him why he couldn't change it, and he said he didn't know how to!

 

I said what do you do if a bulb blows in your house, and he said he usually calls an electrician in. Like I say, nice enough sort, but useless.

That's not 'useless'.

 

That's 'stupid' and 'bone fucking idle'...

[warren t claim]

Finally plucked up the courage to ask a girl I like out on a date, and got rejected. 

 

Feeling quite depressed now.

With women I think you'll find that no means yes.Take what's rightfully yours and treat her to some surprise sex.

[KruJoe]

My sympathies Dicky. I'm sure more of us can relate to your situation than we'd like to admit.

LS, what's the Arab way of getting hitched?

[hairnet]

My sympathies Dicky. I'm sure more of us can relate to your situation than we'd like to admit.

LS, what's the Arab way of getting hitched?

13 and a burhka?

[The Moog]

Not much comfort but at least you tried. So much easier in life to not bother then moan. Plus eleventy for internet. Been with missusfor over 7 years now. before that met some interesting people (although their are some loons!)

[warren t claim]

I think what made it worse was the fact that it was the first time I'd ever properly asked a girl out. I'm incredibly shy and found it very hard, and to get rejected was a massive dent in what little confidence I had.

Never really considered dating websites, my mate suggested that as well but I always think the type of girls who go on them are mostly desperate, not all of them though I'm sure! I dunno really. I always, always fall for girls who have no interest in me whatsoever and I just end up getting upset and buy another car to cheer me up. 

Has it occurred to you that if ANYONE had asked her out then she would of said no? Don't take it personally because she may not be interested in a relationship with anyone right now.

 

There seems to be less of a social stigma fro women to use internet dating sites. Not all the women on there are on for an easy shag but want to see what offers they get. Just for jolly CLAIM_BIRD and myself occasionally lob a blag profile up to what losers are out there and the responses that most men leave are just shit and predictable, if you can write an intelligent first message then you'll be on to a winner, far to many men just send a message with the title of Hi and enclose a picture of their cock against a Sky remote. 

[hairnet]

upgrade!!!!!

 

UPGRADE!!!!!!

 

a feckin iphone for twice what im paying now does not an upgrade make (GRRRRR RRRRRR RRRRRR)

 

sim only for me next with a different provider i think

 

rrrrrrrr etc © dungwatgong)

[Junkman]

Internet dating. SRSLY! That way, they can learn about your old car habit in advance. It does seem that there are a handful of ladies out there who actually like old tin. The chances of bumping into them on the street are roughly nil. Mrs Wobbler was concerned about my love of cars, right up until the point I mentioned the 2CV.

 

It goes like this:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjppKAgGJk0

[Richard]

 Entitled STOP PARKING HERE, it then goes on to list two sections of the RTA that they feel I'm breach of, highlighted for my delectation.

 

 

 

Out of interest, what are the sections you are supposed to be in breach of?

[MrDuke]

Internet dating. SRSLY!

 

[ruffgeezer]

Trust me, it is better to regret trying than not, for here at least you know.

[Cavcraft]

I think what made it worse was the fact that it was the first time I'd ever properly asked a girl out. I'm incredibly shy and found it very hard, and to get rejected was a massive dent in what little confidence I had.

Never really considered dating websites, my mate suggested that as well but I always think the type of girls who go on them are mostly desperate, not all of them though I'm sure! I dunno really. I always, always fall for girls who have no interest in me whatsoever and I just end up getting upset and buy another car to cheer me up. 

 

 

Piss taking aside I know a few people who've tried internet dating and they all spoke very highly of it. I bet there's birds on there who aren't 'desperate' they're probably shy like yourself. Can't see what you have to lose to be quite honest.