The grumpy thread

[fred]

Is it just me or does old Arfur just look like Dennis Watermans dad?

 

RIP Flash Harry, True gent, war time hero, and genuine nice bloke

[twosmoke300]

Fucking VAGCOM.

 

There's no decent freeware (VCDSLite is laggy, confusing etc), and whenever someone asks for a free version/alternative on the internet, they get shot down by Ross-Tech employees or snobby VAG forum admins going 'buy the £££ full version, it's illegal to crack VAGCOM whinge whinge'.

 

I just want to clear the A4's service indicator/fault codes...

How very dare they want to get money back for all their testing / development of their software , the cheek of it ! 😄

[nebuchenezer]

A few years back I tried a bit of human body house rearranging by taking a flyer down the stairs - I was sleepily going to the loo in an unfamiliar house at one in the morning, I turned right instead of left. the resultant stitchage, bruising and stiffness was most uncomfortable for a while but I didn't do any serious damage to myself.

 

Two weeks ago a friend of mine did much the same thing - but he managed to dead himself. It is his funeral today.

 

Fucksticks.

[purplebargeken]

Sorry to hear. Stairs can be bastards. 

[beko1987]

My dad rented a house with fucking steep stairs, my stepmum went down them once. He then managed it through his letting agency a year or so later and the current renter did the same, but managed to splatter her skull over the wall at the end. Dad said it wasnt pretty.

[Cavcraft]

Why don't wasps just fuck off?

[Taff]

Going back to George Cole, Dennis Waterman was being interviewed on 5Live last night and he sounded gutted. No soundbites, just genuine warm emotion.

 

I watch Minder almost every weekday, I record them off itv4 during the day and watch them while I eat my tea. I'm 45, so when they were first aired I was 9 years old and wasn't allowed to stay up past the 2nd adverts (remember when hour-long stuff on ITV only had two advert breaks?). So as a result, I hadn't seen the end of very many of the episodes. It's been great making up for that.

[vulgalour]

All these funerals

 

 

I'm beset with shitty neighbours at the moment too.  It's making working from home very difficult.  Yesterday I found myself going out and staying out to avoid it but that's not exactly conducive to meeting deadlines.  I guess this is the downside to working from home.

[xtriple]

Anyone know about computers? My laptop would not allow me to 'log on' this morning. Password was correct and has worked for the past 5 years but it said 'the profile service service has failed log in'.

 

After about a million attempts I started it in safe mode and did a system restore to a week ago and bugger me, it worked. But, now I'm worried as to why it happened... is my laptop about to die?

[EssDeeWon]

Minor grump but why do garages never call you when your car is ready?

 

Recently I have had to leave the 75 at a couple of garages for MOT and other work, I always leave them my landline number and ask if they can call me once the car is ready. "Yes sir no problem" so 12, 1, 2, 3pm comes and goes and nothing so I call them and ask when the 75 will be done, its always the same response "Hi yeah its all ready"

 

As I say a minor grump, but annoying when your waiting around to do other things. Im only asking them to tell me when its done, not do a rain dance on the bonnet.

[fordperv]

Couriers take the piss, i was at work today came in this evening to find this card

 

 

It was chucked on the floor by my front door which is set back from the wall, i don't have a porch, guess what no actual parcel though, dicks! I'm going to have to see what doesn't turn up this week and go from there as I've tried entering the card number and my postcode on their website and no info is there.

Well I've found out what parcel is missing, it was the polybushes I ordered when I was at fordfair which were for my 3 door sierra, spoke to a lovely lady at flo-flex who chased it all up for me, told me she would ring within the hour, 10 minutes later she rung me back, couldn't be more apologetic about it all, fantastic customer service, her manager just has to give the couriers an ear bashing then send me a replacement out.

[J-Rod]

All these funerals

 

 

I'm beset with shitty neighbours at the moment too.  It's making working from home very difficult.  Yesterday I found myself going out and staying out to avoid it but that's not exactly conducive to meeting deadlines.  I guess this is the downside to working from home.

I went through a similar thing - the girl who lives above where my office is (new build, everything's jumbled onto the smallest plot of land possible) loves listening to Now albums at top volume. Sometimes it's so loud, the walls vibrate. When I've mentioned something, she's used the excuse 'oh I'm a bit deaf'...

 

*rant warning*

 

Don't fucking lie. You just like to play music loud. I play in a band - I like playing my guitar loud too. There's nothing wrong with listening to music loud but seriously, if I politely ask you to turn it down as it's doing my head in as it's been like that ALL FUCKING MORNING, don't say 'I'm a bit deaf' and insult my intelligence by thinking I was born yesterday! Just say, 'sorry! I'll knock it back a bit' and all will be cool. Got it!? 

 

*rant over* 

 

So yes, I feel your pain. 

[dave21478]

I went into le B&Q to buy some rawl plugs and the place was being screamed down by a small child. As I walked around I found the source of the noise....a woman casually browsing the kitchen taps and on the crook of her arm was a baby so young it looked like she might have given birth to it in the lightbulb aisle.

 

And I appear to have missed a new government directive, because apparently its now obligatory for everyone to do 40mph in car parks now.

[Junkman]

405 failed its MoT due to the utterly road safety relevant fact that the numbers on the rear numberplate are incorrectly spaced. Mind you, this is the dealer's plate that has been on the car since 1994. The sooner this ridiculous British MoT nonsense goes to where the tax disc is, the better. If I wanted to pay for comedy, I'd buy a ticket for a Henning Wehn performance.

[Ghosty]

IIRC pre-2001 made plates are exempt from the plate spacing/font rule, that should be a pass.

[red5]

The f~@king useless, pedantic, ignorant, disgraceful farce that is the DVLA.

 

Useless cunts took 4 months to sort out a V5 (after failing to send one to the previous owner).

 

Eventually applied using form blah blah blah after waiting for the chap I bought it from to receive his.

 

Sold vehicle.

 

Swapped insurance to 'new' vehicle.

 

Tried to sorn it using 2 old v5c - failed.

 

New V5 arrives (eventually) - I fill in and send off.

 

Vehicle still taxed from owner before me (he paid up front for a years tax).

 

Today received a final demand for £100 fine for not having vehicle insured (on the day I swapped it over after sale agreed)..

 

Under new rules Mot'd and taxed vehicle must be insured it seems - don't agree but hey...

 

Obviously previous letter have gone to the chap who sold it to the chap I bought it from.

 

 

Utter, utter, useless wankers.

[chaseracer]

And yet...

 

Musical Offspring applied for his provisional licence on Tuesday; it arrived this morning.

 

Go figure, as they say in the colonies.

[EssDeeWon]

405 failed its MoT due to the utterly road safety relevant fact that the numbers on the rear numberplate are incorrectly spaced. 

 

Blimey thats harsh! When you see some of these daft 'private' plates with the letters and screws arranged to give some wanky nonsense plate like ML55 HDT made to look like MISS HOT! 

 

Those are the plates that should be pulled and frizby'd into the nearest field.

[Pillock]

How very dare they want to get money back for all their testing / development of their software , the cheek of it ! 😄

Aaah, but Ghosty was talking about free alternatives rather than a pirate copy.

 

Eg, don't want to pay for Office, get LibreOffice.

Don't want to pay for Photoshop, get Gimp.

There's loads of free OBD software for other makes, there was one for my Focus that was just as comprehensive as VADGECOM but free. Ross-tech need to perhaps think about making more money by charging less.

[scaryoldcortina]

IIRC pre-2001 made plates are exempt from the plate spacing/font rule, that should be a pass.

 

Sorry but no. Pre 2001 plates are only exempt from the honeycomb background rule.

 

Having said that, I don't think I'd be failing the original dealer plate for mis-spacing, sounds like a tester on a mission to fail stuff. Boo.

 

Go back and quote him this bit from section 6.3 of the manual.

 

 

 

Size of Characters Testers are not required to physically measure the characters or their spacing and the following information is provided for guidance only.  Registration plates should only be rejected for character dimensions or spacing if they are clearly incorrect

[EssDeeWon]

Come on show us this ill spaced plate junket man.

[mrbenn]

Anyone know about computers? My laptop would not allow me to 'log on' this morning. Password was correct and has worked for the past 5 years but it said 'the profile service service has failed log in'.

 

After about a million attempts I started it in safe mode and did a system restore to a week ago and bugger me, it worked. But, now I'm worried as to why it happened... is my laptop about to die?

I had this fairly recently, problem was to do with the user profile. Seemed to have corrupted in some way.

 

A system restore was a good call, fingers crossed it shouldn't happen again.

[plasticvandan]

Club spares schemes.yes I've joined your club.yes you have the monopoly of being near enough the only supplier.But please can you move into the 21st c3ntury,just a little bit? I've just had my posted order form returned,because I hadn't signed the cheque.seeing as its the first time I've used one in 10 years,that's not surprising.as they only sort orders for 2 hours every Wednesday,I've got another week to wait.I swear they see the fax machine as the work of the devil,Let alone PayPal!

[Taff]

Sorry but no. Pre 2001 plates are only exempt from the honeycomb background rule.

 

Having said that, I don't think I'd be failing the original dealer plate for mis-spacing, sounds like a tester on a mission to fail stuff. Boo.

 

Go back and punch him in the face, as hard as you can

 

Fixed, invoice the angry man

[cobblers]

You know when normal beer goes stale it's quite minging isn't it? Well home brew is like 100x worse, I presume cos it's still yeasty and has no preservatives in.

I should know better because I've done it before - left half a pint on the side in the workshop for a few days then come back in and wondered what was stinking the whole place out, followed my nose to the pint pot and gave it a good sniffing to see if that was the problem. Violent gagging confirmed that it was the beer. I've never smelled anything even nearly as instantly wretch inducing as old home brew.

 

Anyway today I was carrying a dozen empty bottles down from the workshop, in a plastic crate. The smaller neck of bottles usually means the smell doesn't get out so some of these have been festering in the heat for a week+.

Halfway down the stairs the dog trips me up, I stumble and manage to pour the dregs out of most of these bottles all down myself, some splashed up my face and in my mouth, it was fucking rank man, I absolutely stink and so does the carpet on the stairs but I can't stomache going anywhere near it.

[DeeJay]

I'll bet your dog is still laughing its tits off.

[Bren]

Left Dawlish at 1020. Arrived Warrington 1640. Fucking joke.

 

Wrecked cars all over the place.

 

I wish people would concentrate- people get killed when you don't.

[Pillock]

Aye, I came back from Bristol to Leicester last week, Friday so I guess a busy day for holidaymakers coming or going - used the M5 and M42.

 

There was a VW T4 that had hopped over the armco on the M5 just north of Gloucester services - didn't really click what had happened at first, must have only been a few minutes before I arrived, but then I could see the yellow paint on the bent-over armco, and the yellow T4 was now upright on the southbound carriageway facing north. The reason I could see this is that a few folk had stopped on the hard shoulder as the woman in the van was guiding her three kids across the motorway to safety, looked like a trucker had stopped and was letting them sit in his cab. So three lanes of traffic at standstill whilst people walk across. Seems simple. Dickhead in lane 2 next to me starts trying to drive around people to get through, there's a woman in bits and toddlers on a motorway and he's worried about missing his dinner or something. I was just about to get out the car and lay into him when the trucker (6ft tall, 6ft wide, zz top beard) just stood in front of his Insignia and gave him "the look". 

 

M42 just after the M5 junction, someone was using a 4X4 to tow a discovery on a trailer. I say was, because clearly not long before I got there they'd decided to instead smear the discovery all over the road. Jacknifed trailer, hit another car in the process, debris everywhere. In fairness to them it's the southbound downhill bit before you get to the M5, it's easy to lose a trailer there.

[fred]

Went past the common up the road from me today, and bloody Pikeys have invaded it again, 30 odd caravans cars crap and hundreds of kids. Last year all the fucking manhole covers were nicked in the vicinity and Council spent 3 days removing their fucking rubbish. and the break ins went through the sodding roof. Fucksticks - Bloody Pikeys

[vulgalour]

Xantia changed hands in July, DVLA get my month's rent on it and my brother's month's rent on it because of the new rules.  Then in August they take a payment from my brother and a payment from me.  Waitaminute.