The grumpy thread

[daveb47]

Just tried to jump start neighbors astra using jump leads from a car toolkit that i got for Christmas

First turn of key and there was a bang and a cloud of smoke.One clamp had broken in half and was found accross road

Looked closer & found clamps are just held by small crimp.Total crap.

[autofive]

Being skint and trying to live a more 'economical' life, we now have a wood burning stove in an attempt to save money on the heating bills. Have scavenged loads of wood from various woodlands/roadsides/ ditches and skips. Needed to convert all this to logs so needed a chainsaw. Won a petrol chainsaw on eBay for £71 only to find out that it is a Chinese model and still available new for £84 on Trueshopping.Co. Summat. Bugger. Saved £13 and a new chain for it will cost £14.

Ho Hum.

 

find your local plagga double glazing company. they will have a skip full of old wooden window frame bits and will be very pleased if you offer to remove a car full. all the wood is nice and dry and easily cut into foot lengths.

[Cavcraft]

The last one I owned (rusted to bollocks, horrible interior etc) still managed to attract fan boy clowns who'd start wittering on about engine codes and things whilst extolling the virtues of these motors. I was actually helping a mate move house and got lumped in the van next to some right boring tit who kept on and on about ace VWs were, because he'd seen me rock up in a shit Mk3 Golf. He honestly looked offended when I gave him my views on them and almost couldn't believe I'd have a Vauxhall or Ford first.

 

To be fair VWs probably aren't shit as such, they're just over-rated. I haven't found one yet that was any better than any of it's rivals and I think the reason why people don't like them (myself included) is that some owners go on and on and on about how brilliant they are, yet when you own or drive one they're just, well, a bit ordinary. That's my view anyhow.

[RedSparrow]

VW Golfs are like The Beatles of the car world. Quite good, just not as good as people hype them up to be. And there is better.

[Tetleysmooth]

 

Ah, Strictly must be worth a grumpy thread all of its own!

Opium for the masses... Or summat. Hateful.

At least it ain't on Sunday nights, like bloody Dancing on Ice is.

If the Devil and his demons made tv programmes, it would be these.

[Tetleysmooth]

 

Is she retired by any chance?  Some of the old gits where I live have fuck all else to do but nose around and complain about others.

The geezer next door to me comes out every time I work on my car.

He says the same thing every time - 'you enjoying yourself?'

Last time was acouple of months ago when I was fitting an exhaust to the Voyager. 'You enjoying yourself?'.

'No I fucking ain't'. Blood oozing out of my arms etc.

My missus wanted to hang a picture of our grandsons on the wall. She got one of those picture hanging hooks with the nail through, gave it three taps, it fell out again, so she gave up.

Next time I saw the bloke next door he went on about 'all the hammering'.

He looks like the bloke out of the Mr Muscle adverts. If he wasn't such a scrawny little twat, I'd have probably given him a dig by now.

One day.....

[Sigmund Fraud]

Spent most of my Saturday trying to change the terminally borked suspension of the 'hairdresser special' for a set of cheap, used adjustable coilovers.

 

Bloody hell, what a nightmare ! Every single bolt I had to undo was seized to buggery, despite having been wire brushed and marinated in ATF for a whole week. I spent five bloody hours and the job is still nowhere near done !

 

Japanese perfectionism, I guess... In trying to emulate the classic 1960s British roadsters, they made sure they used the most rust-prone fasteners that money could buy

[Tetleysmooth]

 

despite having been wire brushed and marinated in ATF for a whole week.

A mixture of Diesel and Parrafin will normally sort out a seized nut/bolt etc.

[Tetleysmooth]

 

DVLA.

 

I want to tax a 1957 car, last used in the mid 90's. Its still on the blue V5 -never been issued a red one.

So, I visit my Post Office (a few weeks back -as you'll soon see) who proclaim that they can't tax it, as its not showing on the system (it does appear on the DVLA website).

On their advice I send it, with insurance & MOT exemption certificate, to my local VRO. 

 

4 weeks later, nothing, so a long phone call discovers that they (Brighton) sent it to Maidstone (no reason given) who have now sent it to Swansea. I'll hear soon....

 

2 weeks later- nothing, so we get on the phone.

Eventually I'm told that Lindsey (gender indeterminant) will call me back -and 3 days later , she does.     Sadly I'm  not there,  but when I do get to call back the number,  its a fax machine.    So -back through the whole loop to be told that Lindsey will again call me back, and indeed she does, 3 days later, when  my son catches the call.

 

She explains that it needs to be taxed at a Post Office, as they can't/won't  do it until the Tax Class is changed (currently PLG) -by taxing it!                                                             On the ball, he asks her to write confirming that, which she reluctantly agrees, explaining that it will follow on after the V5.

 

One week later a red V5c (so -some progress) drops through the letter box, albeit without the Insurance Certificate or MOT exemption. Oh well..

 

A few days later a letter does indeed arrive- telling us/ me that we need to tax it at the Post Office; who will then send her the V5c she has just sent me, so she can amend the tax class to exempt...                  

 

Still with me.?

 

So, over 8 weeks after I started, I tried to tax it at the Post Office today.

 

They cant tax it.      If we try to do it 'free' the computer rejects it  as PLG.

                                 If I try to pay £77 (6 months) the computer rejects it -as the age dictates it can be a Years disc only.

                                 If I try to pay £145(12 months) the computer rejects it -as the age dictates it to be Historic ,and therefore free.

 

I gave them the DVLA letter -we spent 15 mns trying every route possible.  Nothing.  Computer says 'NO'.

 

So ,they were good enough to give me a PO headed A4 sheet detailing all they've done, to return to the fragrant Lindsey, at DVLA. 

 

Buggeration is that I probably don't want the car taxed now -as I kinda wanted it out for summer. 

 

The saga continues!

Wouldn't it be better to take all relevant paperwork - and yourself - to the local DVLA office and sort it out in person?

My local office is Sidcup, and they are very good at processing while you sit there. Been there a few times now, to change taxation class from disabled to plg.

[Cavcraft]

Get there soon though, because the shower of shit government are shutting all those local offices very shortly.

[dollywobbler]

Sorry to admit it, but I like Strictly. Apart from Bruce. And Vanessa Feltz. I love the band, who learn a load of new songs every week. It's worth putting up with the sequins just for that. I've no idea why Bruce Forsyth is still involved. I can only assume that the Beeb are terrified of sacking him in case they're seen as ageist. No, it's not because he's old, it's because he's shit.

[warren t claim]

Bruce's yellow XJ6 appears on eBay regularly. Probably still has Anthea Redferns knickers under the back seat.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

All the sequins and flashing lights on Strictly really highlight the low bitrate. 

[Cavcraft]

VW Golfs are like The Beatles of the car world. Quite good, just not as good as people hype them up to be. And there is better.

 

 

I think I'd actually rather own a Golf than a Beatles record. They take the expression 'over rated' to a whole new level, and make putting your head inside a concrete mixer full of rusty nuts and bolts and uses syringes seem more entertaining.

[M'coli]

Superb, someone else whose opinion of the Beatles is similar to mine - it seems to me that in many people's opinion it's almost an offence to mention that you dislike/hate/despise them, as if it's an omerta.

[Barry Cade]

I think I'd actually rather own a Golf than a Beatles record. They take the expression 'over rated' to a whole new level, and make putting your head inside a concrete mixer full of rusty nuts and bolts and uses syringes seem more entertaining.

Agreed, they are less melodic than a slack timing chain on a Corsa.

[RedSparrow]

And John Lennon was actually quite an arsehole, despite how many people think he was great, music aside.

[cobblers]

There is a fire alarm somewhere in my house with a flat battery. Can I find it?

[tooSavvy]

There is a fire alarm somewhere in my house with a flat battery. Can I find it?

... try them all, the front door your key opens....Its yours.

 

tooSavvy

[cobblers]

I've put new batteries in every one that I can find, there's one hidden somewhere - knowing my luck plasterboarded over something, I can't pinpoint the noise at all.

[Cavcraft]

The seller of this

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2001-RENAULT-MEGANE-SCENIC-AUTHENTIQUE-BRONZE-/200967132951?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item2eca931717

 

and this...

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1999-FORD-FIESTA-GHIA-X-RED-TAX-AND-TEST-NON-STARTER-/290983636672?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item43bff9eec0

 

who are probably the same people. eBay is littered with shit adverts from these two and their 'This car would be priced on a forecourt at £XXX and a trader would pay over £XX from an auction house' bollocks.

I always thought liquidators had to auction stuff, not sell at a fixed price, and on top of that I'f ducking love to find a car auction where dealers are paying £295 for a on-running, ancient Fiesta or the same for a Scenic with no MOT or tax, as I'd fill the place full of hopelessly shit cars and retire a few weeks afterwards.

[phil_lihp]

I don't get why sellers choose to write everything in a giant font either, it makes the whole thing unreadable.  That plus he really ought to try laying off the !!!! and proof-reading his script.

[wuvvum]

The Vectra has now developed a blow from one of the exhaust manifolds.  Predictably, it appears to be the rear one which is blowing, which means I haven't got an icecube's chance in hell of getting at it without putting the car up on a ramp.  Arseburgers.

[philibusmo]

I am in the middle of a mojo drought where it comes to old cars. Today it wasn't raining and it wasn't windy, yet I looked outside and considered doing a bit to the Lancia and despite it now not having a vast amount left to go, I just really couldn't sum up enough energy to go out and do something productive.

[Mr Livered]

Glad it's not just me^

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I know all about that, absolutley RAG ALL has happened to my Maser in about 6 months

[HillmanImp]

The GT6 has languished in my garage or on the drive for 2 years (although I have had several other 'projects' come and go in the meantime). Its taken less than a week to pretty much get it roadworthy and will hopefully be road legal in the next couple of weeks (depending on funds). But it's taken some motivation to get my ass out there to work on it. 

 

I am gradually warming to the idea of owning less cars as its seems that it was all getting on top of me a couple of years back when I had 7 on the go at one point. I own 3 now and would ideally like to get this down to 2 but probably wont. An everyday clunker which I can chuck money at and get someone else to repair for most things and 1 old snotter for me to bodge together with cable toes and run on sheer optimism. Not as much pressure but I suspect 3 will be the norm as I will have an itchy ebay finger from time to time. 

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Bought own brand diet cola.

 

Tastes like someone put week old flat Pepsi through a soda stream. 

 

Full of regrets. 

[wuvvum]

I've managed to cut down on the amount of my free time I spend working on cars by swapping the Range Rover, Espace and AX (all of which had issues) for a 1969 Ford Corsair.  The Corsair needs work, but there's no way I'll be putting it back on the road with winter approaching, so it's parked up under cover at a mate's where I can quietly forget about it and not spend all my weekends thinking I should be out there fixing it.  I spent most of yesterday evening with a mate fitting a new CV boot to the LNA, and then this afternoon I fitted a pair of steering rack boots, so now all it needs is the battery fixing in place and it's ready for a retest. 

 

I had been hoping to have a break after that, but I think the Vectra may have other ideas.   Still, at least with only one car at a time needing attention it's a bit easier to keep on top of.

[purplebargeken]

Bulging and dehydrated discs and arthritis of the spine really sucks. Really, really sucks.