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Everything posted by autofive

  1. A5 fatha says he will have two random give you the cash monday scary 2 tickets left? surely someone wants another 2 tickets
  2. this g26 has now 'gone to a better place' and some parts will be used for the qwertina
  3. FOR SALE Passat STUNNING IMMACULATE, needs clutch
  4. I see them all the time getting forklifted into the breakers yard, they sometimes get them running next day, but they always misfire and smoke. There was a long discussion about / gearbox swaps on another forum and the conclusion was that every engine suggested would involve far too much chew to make it worth doing. dead ones fetch about 450 on ebay, but dont break very well, so if you can find a cheap, good engine & body car, ignore the mechanicals and interior and buy a spares car too.
  5. this one was spouted by a bloke viewing a scimitar GTE i had for sale "you know that Reliant wanted to use the RV8, and designed the se5 around the RV8, but Triumph wanted it for the Stag so Rover agreed to supply Triumph instead" I replied with "oh right" and while on the subject of princess anne; I heard a rumour that the royal fixers searched the globe for an eligable bacholar named Lucas, but in the end settled on mark phillips, the inventor of the crossply screwhead.
  6. JUNGLE FIND cars are always good sellers on a similar note I know someone who was clearing the jungle at his grandparents house and decided to remove the hump of weeds from the centre of the garden, after a bit of digging the hump gave way and he fell into 3 foot of dirty water and soil that now filled the tin shed air-raid shelter forgoten about for 40 odd years. oh how we did laugh
  7. me too, I dont buy and sell cars to avoid these idiots, but I was tempted, and sucumbed. lesson learnt.
  8. young drivers GGGGGRRRR or, one in particular young whippersnapper (i know his dad, sort of) passes his driving test and uses dads phone to ring me to ask if i know of any cheap cars. I explain that bangers are cheap at the moment, price of scrap is low so beware the shiny turd, etc etc. His dad seems wise enough, so I assumed he would look em over for the boy before he buys. Couple of days later a straight looking, old lady smelling, 106 XR turns up. owner wants 100 quid with 3 months MOT, 'noisy gearbox' she says. I text the dad with details, no reply. Two more days and the price goes to 70 quid, I text again. no reply. I buy the 106 for 70 quid, drive it about 8 miles in rushhour, everything is fine apart from a growly front wheel bearing (its tinny, gutless and i have to take my boots off to find all 3 pedals, but its a tiny car) Very next morning I get a phone call from the kid. Do I have a car to swap for a french people carrier has just bought, he hates it. We meet, I drive the unMOTted picasso, he drives the 106. He loves it and wants a straight swap. I tell him he can have the project 106 for 100 quid spare or repair and i dont want the picasso (even though it seems like a cracking deal for me) He insists he is happy with a straight swap. Deal is done. I park up the picasso and ignore it, as I expect a phone call from an angry dad, and the deal to collapse, no harm done. Next morning (Friday) I get a phone call from the kid - gear linkages have fallen off the 106. Hes being all gangster on the phone with me, The gearchange was a bit sloppy when i drove it, so I stop him short by agreeing to come and change the rods for him, or does he want his picassso back? (which is what i think he wants) no he says. I arrive at his house at 9:15am to look at the 106 and he has 3 rods in his hand, he doesnt remember which is which and where they came from. I go to the local breakers and get the rods off a saxo, noting their position etc. go back fit the rods, but the gearchange is odd and i cant get 2nd. All the other gears are fine, I drive around the block. I suggest he drives it to scaryoldcortinas yard so I can have a better stab at solving it. (he lives on a steep hill and its not ideal for jacking up cars in the street.) He doesnt want to and starts a long and loud rant about how the 106 had cost him 350 quid and now i need to sort it out etc etc. I explain to him (after offering him his own car back, again and he refused) that he may have paid 350 for the picasso, but the 106 is worth 100 quid, as that was the asking price. I now suspect its an attempt to extort funds from me. I say 'do you anyone who has knowledge of these saxo/106 linkages?'. He says yes his mate, but he will charge 20 quid to sort it. I immediately agree to pay 20 quid, once the job is done and leave. Saturday, early morning phone call. His mate has had a look at it, says its loose rods, buy new rods, oh, and wants me to give him 20 quid for his 3 second look under the bonnet. I laugh and decline. I go to kids house where I again, in front of his dad (who has remained totally silent on the matter thus far), ask him if he wants the picasso back and offer to drive him to it right now. No, no, no he says. I look at the dad, who raises his eyebrows and says nothing. I agree to get the 106 sorted before monday. He is happy, Im biting my tongue, but now just want to end this jeremy kyle parallel life and get back to my own. I ask umpteen people about the rods and no-one really has any answers. 4pm saturday I return to his house and tell him i cant sort it out and the best solution is a swap back, no harm done etc etc He absolutely refuses and says he hates the picasso and i should give him money for it, as he is 'late with a payment on it'. I smell a trap, I havent seen the v5 for the picasso yet, and now it looks like he swappd a car he doesnt own. I refuse and ring his dad, perhaps he can make the kid see sense and take his picasso back, dad arrives and has an indoor heated argument with the kid while I sit in my car. Dad comes out and tells me the whole sorded tale. Kid is in hock to a local part-time car dealer, part-time talc salesman. URGH. I have seen this bloke 3 times drive past while huddled over the 106 and each time he gave me a 1000 yard stare, now i know why. Kid is still insisting he doesnt want the picasso. Dad says he will have a word with pablo daley and find out details and I leave. Sunday morning I set off for 200 mile round trip to collect an engine. several missed calls later I returned the dads call ' can he have his picasso this morning'. I explain that i wont be back until 2-3pm but I will pick the kid up and take him to collect his picasso. later, I hand the kid the key to his french lovely and then he starts bleating on about how he put 10 quid of fuel in the 106, I ignore it and open the gates for him to leave. He starts the picasso and before it can move it runs out of petrol. He has no money. No fuel. Im not providing either. He rings his dad to borrow a fiver. I push the picasso outside, and enlist scary to tow-in the 106. scary looks at the 106 and says - those rods are on wrong and the gearstick mechanism has been played around with. we tow it in. On the flat a finally have a look underneath and find a very clean car for a 1998 106, good sills, floorpan, chassis etc, but still no gears. scary has a play with it and manages to get all gears apart from 2nd, again. drive it into the picasso's space in the yard and forget about it. I remove all the petrol from the 106, only one 6 litre can, and do a few odd jobs in the sunshine and quiet of a sunday teatime. scary rings - he has discovered the rods are connected wrongly, the bottom rods connects to a totally different place on the gearbox. I start to think its not a grump, but a grin. I lose out on time and money for the rods etc, but I have got away unscared by chav society one more time. Repeating the whole saga to SWMBO last night and she asked - what do you think you were storing in the picasso for the last 4 days. URGH, now its a grump. Have I just been played by a semi-illiterate, chav and his puppet master?
  9. nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i havent been here for a couple of years, but i see the grumpy thread still up and running
  10. amazo finally exposed as a 'a two-faced little whiny bitch', 'really not very fucking intellegent' and a 'truly pathetic specimin' its a funny read, look in the 'chat' section http://www.moto-scat.com/forum/
  11. I had a 2 litre mk5 in cosmos blue, with a vinyl roof in about 1992 with white wellers and a rear screen visor thingy and of course a lightning strip
  12. i notice the window winder mechanism i have some elctric ones, and switches, if you fancy going all posh
  13. *watching* see the head gasket failure has cleared up all by itself
  14. thats because its not really a granada its a german 'taunus' or whatever, hence the 2-door and LHD. IMO its overpriced by at least 10K
  15. do the work, get it MOTted, get the most money possible, spend the profit on beer
  16. thats not a man....surely not even a crosseyed tranny could look that bad.....surely
  17. National Lottery = a tax on the poor
  18. thats retro rides for you chocka full of tight arse wankers and speccy twats with pushbikes and baseball boots named david murphy
  19. find your local plagga double glazing company. they will have a skip full of old wooden window frame bits and will be very pleased if you offer to remove a car full. all the wood is nice and dry and easily cut into foot lengths.
  20. does anyone have a tax exempt vin plate and v5c for my 1989 granada?
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