The grumpy thread

[cms206]

Pearoast from elsewhere; The Council Estate celebrated the arrival of the 760 Turbo by failing it's MOT thusly...

 

001 Offside headlight aim too low

002 Battery insecure

003 Nearside windscreen washer provides insufficient washer fluid

004 Nearside (inner rack end) steering pivot point has excessive play

005 Offside (inner rack end) steering pivot point has excessive play

006 Nearside brake linkage has abnormal movement of levers indicating maladjustment

007 Exhaust has a major leak of exhaust gases

008 Exhaust system not adequately supportes.

 

004 and 005 are causing headaches...

[Cavcraft]

Someone wants to buy one of my bikes. I want to buy one of theirs. Theirs is more expensive. I asked how much on top with my bike. They don't want to do that, they only want cash for theirs.

Ok, I'll sell you my bike, then buy yours.

'I don't want to sell mine it's worth more than I first told you so I'll keep it a bit longer then eBay it for more'

Ok then. let's forget it. 

'So you don't want to buy mine?'

No, you just said you were keeping it and putting it on eBay at a later date for more money.

'Yeah, but what's the best price for your bike? You can have mine for £600'.

'Are you coming tonight'

'Are you there?'

'???'

 

I give up.

[Mr Lobster]

This to the power of eleventy. The amount of twats I get wanting a tracking number for an item that cost £1.20 including postage is unbelievable.

 

Curses! You've foiled my scheme of spending 8 years building a 20K feedback account just to rob you of £1.20. I'd have got away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids.

 

Yes yes yes and yes. Item is shipped to Europe for £9.99 including postage and after TWO DAYS you get the 'Where Is My Item' question and the 'Whats the tracking number' too.

 

Recently had a customer who after THREE MONTHS claims not to have recieved it. Tracking showed it had been left in her 'safe place' She had nominated her safe place to be a wheely bin and as she was on holiday when she ordered the item and knew that the bin would be emptied in her absence what could we do about it* as it had probably gone to the tip.

 

*absolutely nothing.

[Mr Livered]

^Haha, fucking brilliant - who would think a really good idea for a "safe place" would be in the bin?!

[M'coli]

You'd be surprised - I see that sort of thing all the time on tracked packets!  I'm waiting for one that says "PLease leave with a neighbour except for them at no.42 because they're cunts".

[Richard]

Pearoast from elsewhere; The Council Estate celebrated the arrival of the 760 Turbo by failing it's MOT thusly...

 

001 Offside headlight aim too low

002 Battery insecure

003 Nearside windscreen washer provides insufficient washer fluid

004 Nearside (inner rack end) steering pivot point has excessive play

005 Offside (inner rack end) steering pivot point has excessive play

006 Nearside brake linkage has abnormal movement of levers indicating maladjustment

007 Exhaust has a major leak of exhaust gases

008 Exhaust system not adequately supportes.

 

004 and 005 are causing headaches...

 

 

Is the headache working out what make of rack you have? Track rods are reasonably cheap and normally quite easy to change. http://www.buypartsby.co.uk/buy/VOLVO/700_SERIES/_740/2.3/1988/__/106/steering-suspension/suspension/tie-rods-ends/

[chaseracer]

Jon: PM sent.

[Lord Sterling]

Brilliant. Fucking Hotmail are being absolute arses now. They won't let me access the ONE account I need to access, they are holding it to ransom until I give them my phone number. They can fuck off and shove thier account up thier arses, nosey cunts. The other account I have with them doesnt seem to need this nosey info (so far) I've had this account for more than 10 years and now suddenly because they want everthing including my inside leg measurement they'll suddenly 'lock' my account until they get want they want?

 

I only wanted it to access my password for Western Union as my cousin needs some money. I'll have to ask FATHA_Sterling to help me on this. And no, I don't have a spare sim to chuck away when I get this bastard 'cide' they insist I have.

[hennabm]

Motorway matrix signs. The overhead ones every 20 yards telling you it's 12 miles to junction 94 and I'll take 12 minutes.

 

Coming down the M42 yesterday, just before J6 it flashes up "M42 CLOSED J5-J4". I had about a quarter of a mile to decide, so came off at 6, past the airport, through Solihull and Shirley and back on at 4. Added 25 minutes or so. What was weird was that as I came on, traffic was coming through the "closed" section. Half hour later it's on the radio that the signs are showing wrong information, the road is not closed.

 

THANKS.

 

 

I went through those as well but figured that traffic was flowing too well for the road to be closed and stayed on the M42.

Yeah and after about half later the radio told me the signs were wrong. :roll:

 

Fugging Brilliant traffic control that.

[Pillock]

I also hate the way they're minute-precise when it comes to free flowing traffic, exactly how many minutes it'll take to get to the next big junction.... But when it comes to delays, it just says "delays". Now I know you've got the technology to tell me how long a delay, it all works off ANPR and times cars over a section - so bloody well tell me how long the delay is before I dick around driving over the countryside just to avoid one junction.

[hairnet]

riding the width of southern scotland

 

to look at something on the english/scottish border (ish)

 

then getting up the next day and not being able to see 10 feet in front of your their or anyone elses fookin face

 

$%&%^*&*($^*"(! !¬!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

the roads to kelso are the tits tho

[garbaldy]

 

 

the roads to kelso are the tits tho

 

yup they sure are and even better round duns. I am 7ish miles from Kelso you could have popped in for a brew.

[retrogeezer]

 

 

Motorway matrix signs. The overhead ones every 20 yards telling you it's 12 miles to junction 94 and I'll take 12 minutes. 

 

The worst one is the 'M6 TOLL CLEAR'   I don't give a fuck about the one that costs £6 to use coz I ain't using it. How about telling us if the 'proper' M6 is clear so we can all save a few quid eh?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

It never is!

[retrogeezer]

edited for accuracy: 

 

I'm grumpy because we haven't had a ground breaking year in car design for ages. I can remember the Sierra and BX being introduced in 1983 and 10 years later the Mondeo upping the anti with great driving family cars. All that happens now is every few years we get a new Golf/Focus/3 Series BMW that's 5% WORSE than its predecessor.

[Mr Livered]

The worst one is the 'M6 TOLL CLEAR'   I don't give a fuck about the one that costs £6 to use coz I ain't using it. How about telling us if the 'proper' M6 is clear so we can all save a few quid eh?

 

I've always assumed that "M6 TOLL CLEAR" was basically a sort of advert for the toll road; trying to tempt punters to fork out six quid by telling them that they'll whizz through if they do.

 

Have you ever seen "M6 TOLL A BIT SLOW TODAY, BEST GO ON THE FREE ONE"? No? Precisely!

[retrogeezer]

Yeh, of course it is but telling drivers it's clear isn't necessary - it's always clear! What is needed is to tell people how busy the M6 and they don't.

[chaseracer]

They should say M6 TOLL CLEARLY A FUCKING RIPOFF, but they cheapskated on the matrix signs.

[beko1987]

M40 this morning, everyone doing about 50 in the heavy fog, the matrix by Wycombe said 'careful, fog'

 

Almost called a radio station to complain

[outlaw118]

Being a "mockney wanker" (copyright Cavette) I rarely use the M6, occasional trip to brum, or to Hednesford for B**gers... but I've never felt the need to use the M6 Toll. I've and we've effectively paid for the proper M6 with all it's foibles.

If Toll was a true "private road" (ie no speed restrictions) then I'd consider it. But as it stands, they can eat my pants.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

advert for the toll road

 

 

poor kerning on the 1959

[chaseracer]

...or to Hednesford for B**gers...

I live two miles from the Raceway. Kettle's on next time you're up this way, "mockney wanker" or not...

[hairnet]

the close up cameraman on wheeler dealers needs a fucking slap when ever they look at edd or mike its like he takes speed first

 

ps mmmmm urraco

 

 

[Cavcraft]

I always try and avoid the toll because I don't see why I should have to pay (extra) to use a road. Went on it the other week though on the way home from collecting the 147 because I think if I'd had to use the 'normal' M6 again through the roadworks I'd have probably single handedly killed all the knobheads with no lane discipline.

[skattrd]

Fucking F1 auto centre.

I've got a puncture, but no worries, as a well prepared shitter I've got a spare, trolley jack & tools. Can I undo the wheel nuts? Not a chance, they must have put them on with an air gun despite my insisting they didn't, I even told them the damn torque setting.

[purplebargeken]

 

 

She had nominated her safe place to be a wheely bin

She might have been better of nominating 'up her own arse' as that would have been much more useful and artistically entertaining to boot.

 

Looks like she burned out her last remaining brain cell when contacting you 3 months later. No doubt ebay will refund her. 

[dollywobbler]

I always try and avoid the toll because I don't see why I should have to pay (extra) to use a road. Went on it the other week though on the way home from collecting the 147 because I think if I'd had to use the 'normal' M6 again through the roadworks I'd have probably single handedly killed all the knobheads with no lane discipline.

 

Ditto. While those sodding roadworks are in place, I consider the Toll Road worth paying for. Though generally I do my utmost to avoid the area completely.

[Station]

I have to use the M6 twice a week during peak traffic, so the M6 Toll is a blessing, even though it's £5.50. Unfortunately, as soon as you come off it, you're merged right into the normal M6, which is only busy because two motorways are merging. It takes off at least 1/2 an hour off my journey.

[chaseracer]

Though generally I do my utmost to avoid the area completely.

It's quite nice, really...

 

[Pillock]

3 hours 30 minutes to do 90 miles on the M1.

Or rather, some on the M1 and then here there and everywhere, along with everyone else whose satnav had shat itself at the news a John Lewis truck had fallen over on the M1.

 

Stupid thing was, it was a northbound closure but I was trying to go southbound - cheers for that, rubbernecking bastards.