The grumpy thread

[Micrashed]

Car dealers.

Why in the name of all that is Godly would you want to describe a car as "lady owner".

Im a nurse, I work with shit loads of women, most of whom have fuck all idea about cars.
Dinner time today and Im on the car park looking over a "lady owner" Zafira whose OIL warning sign is on, with fuck all oil (and what there was was smelly thick treacle) and bugger all coolant.

It badly needs a service says I, when did you last have it done?
Ummm, never, says she.

 

Lady owners - fucking liability owners

[Rocket88]

The "one lady owner" thing either means serviced to death at the main stealer every 14 miles, or.............as above. 

I bring before you,, M.lud,  Toyota Previa,NEVER serviced between 86k miles and 138k miles, single mother, with about a Lions squads' worth of kids. Phones a "mobile mechanic" mate of mine who's name she found in the service book when it was last done, asking if she should have it done again because tho oil light was coming on sometimes.......the catalogue of horrors he found was shocking.

In the intervening 41/2 yeras since he'd last looked at it, someone had removed the airfilter, and bodged up two of the HT leads with, of all things, paper clips. The oil was like tar, three of the tyres were through to the canvas, the indicator stalk was hanging off, and the floor was coated in dog hairs and the remains of numerous "confectionary items".

Apparently one of her ex boyfriends had "looked at it" about three years ago.

[autofive]

R.I.P Pat Ashton

[philibusmo]

I spent the weekend looking out the window waiting for it to stop raining. I go back to work today and it's beautiful sunshine.

"That's OK," I think."I'll work on the Lancias rear axle when I get home, maybe get most of it ground back and ready to weld on the new bump stop."

 

However I didn't count on my incredibly clever* idea of filtering used tractor engine oil through the leg of an old pair of trousers into a container of various other 'filtered' oils to lob in the Peugeot backfiring. I knew the tub was pretty full, but my perception of volumes was remarkably skewed yesterday afternoon.

 

The long and the short of it is that I lobbed a load of this oil through an old sieve and into this trouser leg with a knot tied in the end to filter through a large funnel into this 40l tub of other oils. I poured it all in thinking it would fit. As this particular oil has the consistency of treacle it was filtering through credibly slowly, so when I was pouring it in it all seemed fine, and when I checked it this morning it all seemed fine. When I cam back this evening it was not fine at all as the first thing I noticed when I pulled up was the little puddles of jet black oil which had appeared under the garage door and onto the drive.

 

On investigating it turned out that during the day the tub had finally filled and the rest simply pushed its way out around the edges of the funnel, down the side of the tub, onto the old door mat (that was originally found in the passenger foot well of my Maxi when I bought it) and then flowed off this and under everything in the garage. This was an oil spill even BP would describe as 'substantial' and was a environmental disaster for the woodlice living in my garage.

 

So I spent the next hour clearing up this oil removing it from the concrete floor and from the underside of everything that had been sitting on the floor, then squirted Tesco Value washing up liquid everywhere, scrubbed it in and washed off with the hose pipe which then got out of control and covered everything with water instead.

 

On the plus side, I have never seen the garage floor so clean. On the minus side, total work done on the Lancia tonight is: removed 8 plastic clips from the rear axle and painted up the central mounting bracket. Not a successful day.

[Doctormop]

I worked at an Austin Rover dealership in the early 90's and witnessed a middle aged lady (deputy headmistress local secondary school) bring her D reg maestro mayfair in because it was "making a funny noise",

Hardly anything in the sump, expansion bottle bone dry, when asked thankfully not by me where it had been serviced she replied "It shouldn't need servicing, it was new when I bought it"

 How the thing had lasted as long as it had was beyond me but she begrudgingly coughed up for a full service muttering all the time about being ripped by car dealers.

[philibusmo]

Just went on the Autoshite Facebook page for the first time in ages, just to see if it had improved. Surely it couldn't be as bad as you guys make out.

 

The first post I saw was this:

For starters, this man has quite obviously not understood Autoshite in the slightest. Secondly he's an utter pillow shagging gobshite for wanting a new Astra and then asking the great imbecilic collective of the internet about a new Kia Cee'd when the most useful and coherent responses you ever get from the general population of the internet are roughly like the following:

 

Marvin Shithispants best car eva

Gareth Crampers-Wank I had a Kia Ora once and it had gone off AVOID

Sam Sprunk CHINESES CARS ARES SHITS

Tamara Labia Have you seen my cat, it was last seen eating a dead tramp in Kidderminster and I haven't seen it since? Come back soon Mr Cuddles.

[Spiny Norman]

I couldn't believe that kid's post when I answered it, what a fud!

 

Still, makes a change from the fat Greek....

I'm quite liking the FB page now, with a dozen or so assholes blocked it's quite palatable.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

I couldn't believe that kid's post when I answered it, what a fud!

 

Still, makes a change from the fat Greek....

 

 

Hey, what's wrong with my comments there?

[Angrydicky]

My dad found our last cat dead yesterday, under my Austin Cambridge in the garage. He was pretty old to be fair, and hadn't looked too good for a while, but it's still very sad. Looks like he just keeled over

[RedSparrow]

Sorry to hear about your cat.
How old was he?

[Angrydicky]

No idea. He was a stray who turned up on our doorstep one day. The vet said he was roughly eight then, and that was seven years ago. I actually think he could have been a fair bit older as his black fur had been streaked with grey for the last three years or so.

[Lord Sterling]

Sorry to hear that AD. I reckon he's had good innings to reach that far in life. At least he died somewhere peaceful, my cat went missing a couple of years ago now, don't know what happend to her but she was also getting on a bit.

[Angrydicky]

Thanks LS, it is very sad when this happens

[M'coli]

Aye, sorry to hear that AD, I've had a similar experience recently and it's not good.

[TimothyClaypole]

Went to Glasgow over the weekend (read I wanted to drive through it to get to Troon) but my sat nav was having a pedantic day of it and sent me towards the centre to take a left turn only it was blocked due to some over achievers in lycra suits arsing about on bikes so I spent a lovely hour making a tour of the centre before ending back where I started.   The lights there are a joke, 2 seconds on green then 5 minutes on red and some phobia over turning right.

 

I made sure to ignore it on the way back especially after being fobbed off in the petrol station with some weird blue fiver, even though I'd picked 5p up off the floor and given it to the guy behind the counter as a freebie, had to dump the dodgy money in the ticket machine at Birmingham Airport today.

 

 

And a big shout to the Police and Highways agency for closing the A64 through Malton yesterday even though the digger that had fallen over was under the bridge not even on the road, then standing around doing nothing when they could have walked down the road telling the poor bastards trying to get to Malton the other way to turn around.

[MrDuke]

AD, if it's any consolation, cats usually know when they're about to die, and choose a favourite 'quiet place' to drift off in (my parents had a fairly large, sheltered garden and had 3 or 4 of their neighbours' cats go there to die). Any age over 15 is a good innings, especially for a male - the main thing is that he had a good home while he was alive, at least for the last few years.

[Albert Ross]

'Tis a shame about the Mog Dicky, We have had two just "wander off" in the last 5 years, and another that just won't die. She disappears for a week, and like tonight, came back, but never came in. I'm certain she has an old lady feeding her titbits.... and you know what, that makes me happy, because she's a lovely cat, and deserves better than being bullied by our other two mousers. Your old tom had a good final home. Remember him over a bottle of Robinson's "Old Tom".

[cobblers]

Along the lines of the above roads grump, M1 CHAOS today - they closed the whole motorway for many hours cos of a lorry fire. Anyway, I took a "detour" to get home from work and spent 90 minutes to do 5 miles through Killamarsh, because of some temporary traffic lights turning the main rat run round the closed northbound M1 into a single lane of traffic, with 50/50 timing but no traffic coming the other way.

I got to the traffic lights and the were only there because they were digging the fucking verge up outside someones house - there wasn't any intrusion to the carriageway at all. They could have just moved the cones out of the way, fucked off home an hour or two early and saved thousands of people hours of delays. Absolute ballbags.

[Polystratus]

Along the lines of the above roads grump, M1 CHAOS today - they closed the whole motorway for many hours cos of a lorry fire. Anyway, I took a "detour" to get home from work and spent 90 minutes to do 5 miles through Killamarsh, because of some temporary traffic lights turning the main rat run round the closed northbound M1 into a single lane of traffic, with 50/50 timing but no traffic coming the other way.

I got to the traffic lights and the were only there because they were digging the fucking verge up outside someones house - there wasn't any intrusion to the carriageway at all. They could have just moved the cones out of the way, fucked off home an hour or two early and saved thousands of people hours of delays. Absolute ballbags.

Know what you mean with the M1 CHAOS, and its not like an occasional thing these days, especially in that section.  Noticed that the A614/A60 was a bit more busy than usual

[wackywacerwill]

Ebay mongtards. I had the good fortune to win a prized 17 inch knobbly for the back of my dominator, not critical just at the moment but I thought I'd get in whilst the price was right.

Signed in tonight and found a message from the seller saying that the item has been re-listed as it didn't make the non fucking existent) reserve. What a cockspanner.

[hairymel]

this evening i was trying to throw some paint at my sunbeam.

 

as i was painting outdoors i had to wait until all the cars in the area left.

 

just as i was about to start spraying this turned up.

 

 

 

2 part grump really

now much as I like a nice fiat coupe , I had just mixed up a litre of paint, done a test pattern and was about to go guns blazing.

chap with the 512bbi ended up chatting for 1 1/2 hours with the mechanics about fitted kitchens mostly.

 

this made me grumpy as i was chasing the light to get the job done, and no-one gave a toss about my wish to crack on.

I tried to shoo matey off politely with talk of overspay but he did not budge.

my final ploy was to bore him with my knowledge of michelin trx tyres as found on his vehicle but even this did not make him leave.

I eventually gave up and just stood in the background looking crossly at the setting sun.

 

when he did leave my gun was clogged and i had to rush to get to a point where i could stop.

 

and my painting looks rubbish

 

second grump is that the immaculate ferrari was a new purchase by someone who appeared to know less about them than i did, and professed to have bought the £170k car 'to make money'.

 

fair play to him his money is his own and i have no issue with people 'investing' but my grump is that its a shame the car seemed to be wasted on him

 

 

[Junkman]

I have no idea what colour you wanted to spray your Talbot in, but I sure as fugg know that that Fiat coupe would be that colour now had I been you.

[Cavcraft]

Ebay mongtards. I had the good fortune to win a prized 17 inch knobbly for the back of my dominator, not critical just at the moment but I thought I'd get in whilst the price was right.

Signed in tonight and found a message from the seller saying that the item has been re-listed as it didn't make the non fucking existent) reserve. What a cockspanner.

 

You need to leave him bad feedback for it, then bid again and repeat the process.

[Micrashed]

You need to leave him bad feedback for it, then bid again and repeat the process.

And you need to let us know the item number so we can bid it up to the stratosphere and then not pay and message him SRY M8 Thort it would fit my Reliant

[hairymel]

I have no idea what colour you wanted to spray your Talbot in, but I sure as fugg know that that Fiat coupe would be that colour now had I been you.

 

someone else's customer - so not really fair game.

 

and i was throwing paint around in a 'public' thoroughfare

 

was a bit frustrated though, all good now (until i see how the paint turned out )

[Junkman]

Nothing is more exciting than watching paint dry.

[chaseracer]

>>

 

The current Thomas Cook 'adverts' on the haunted fish tank; didn't Jimmy Nesbitt used to be an actor...? 

[Cavcraft]

As lazy as I might* sometimes* appear to be, I would like to be able to DO MY EFFING JOB with equipment from the last 400 years or so, thanks.

[Sigmund Fraud]

Bugger... A boredom-induced, cheeky bid has made me the proud* owner of yet another scruffy 700 series Volvo

[vulgalour]

My PC is out of action again.  Since February (when I moved into my parents' house) it has eaten a motherboard and two graphics cards.  The most recent graphics card death is odd because it all worked fine when my friend in Sheffield fixed it, I even used the computer and played on it for a bit.  However, by the time I'd driven home (sensibly avoiding the M1 and all the associated drama, happy coincidence that) and plugged the PC in the graphics card had died.  How this happened I have no idea and there seems to be no logical reason for it.

 

Most annoying of all about this is the fact that I can't get to any of my photographs that are locked away on the hard drive on my PC so I can't do my blog and other updates that I'd like to.  I'm also stifled as to how much work I can do - because I'm slowly returning to work now, which is a good thing - as all my references and contact details are also locked up in my other PC.  Oh well, just another big expense to add to the list.