The grumpy thread

[goosey]

im all for value but to fill it to the point of no matter how careful you are, popping the lid off a new bottle means looking like Ive pissed myself 

[hairnet]

least you got a wash this week

[Markeh]

In what can only be described as an outtake from Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, an attempt earlier today to bring a 2-litre bottle of coke up to my office resulted in it falling on the floor, somehow bursting despite no sharp objects where it fell, and proceeding to shower me and the surrounding area with its contents. When proceeding to then run to the nearby bathroom and lob said bottle in the bath, I slipped on the bathroom floor, managing to smack my elbow on the sink cabinet and how I haven't put my foot through the bath panel, I don't know.

3 ceilings, a bathroom and an office cleaning later... today has not been a fun time. Luckily it seems no devices took direct hits so there shouldn't be any major financial impacts. This painful elbow is not a fun time, mind...

[jakebullet]

Advert on facebook, look at our exciting new courses starting soon. So I do, and apply for tiling for the clueless.

Today they phone me up. You're not in West Yorkshire, so you don't qualify for funding so it's £12 an hour if you want to do it.

Oh... is this new then, as I did 3 courses last year.

Er, no. Did you?

Yes!

Well it should have been picked up. Are you sure you lived in the same place?

Er, yes?

Oh. We'll get back to you by the end of the day.

Obvs they haven't got back to me. Place bets now on them wanting 3 x 3 x 8 x £12 = £864

[Momentary Lapse Of Reason]

54 minutes ago, Markeh said:

In what can only be described as an outtake from Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, an attempt earlier today to bring a 2-litre bottle of coke up to my office resulted in it falling on the floor, somehow bursting despite no sharp objects where it fell, and proceeding to shower me and the surrounding area with its contents. When proceeding to then run to the nearby bathroom and lob said bottle in the bath, I slipped on the bathroom floor, managing to smack my elbow on the sink cabinet and how I haven't put my foot through the bath panel, I don't know.

3 ceilings, a bathroom and an office cleaning later... today has not been a fun time. Luckily it seems no devices took direct hits so there shouldn't be any major financial impacts. This painful elbow is not a fun time, mind...

I am literally crying with laughter !

 

I hope your elbow is fine soon and you have a better day tomorrow.

[Knotty Ash Towers]

1 hour ago, Markeh said:

In what can only be described as an outtake from Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, an attempt earlier today to bring a 2-litre bottle of coke up to my office resulted in it falling on the floor, somehow bursting despite no sharp objects where it fell, and proceeding to shower me and the surrounding area with its contents. When proceeding to then run to the nearby bathroom and lob said bottle in the bath, I slipped on the bathroom floor, managing to smack my elbow on the sink cabinet and how I haven't put my foot through the bath panel, I don't know.

3 ceilings, a bathroom and an office cleaning later... today has not been a fun time. Luckily it seems no devices took direct hits so there shouldn't be any major financial impacts. This painful elbow is not a fun time, mind...

I had a similar experience when I worked for Sainsburys. A bottle of lemonade fell on the floor, burst and proceeded to shower me, rolling in the opposite direction as it did so. A bit embarrassing really...

[High Jetter]

2 hours ago, Markeh said:

In what can only be described as an outtake from Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, an attempt earlier today to bring a 2-litre bottle of coke up to my office resulted in it falling on the floor, somehow bursting despite no sharp objects where it fell, and proceeding to shower me and the surrounding area with its contents. When proceeding to then run to the nearby bathroom and lob said bottle in the bath, I slipped on the bathroom floor, managing to smack my elbow on the sink cabinet and how I haven't put my foot through the bath panel, I don't know.

3 ceilings, a bathroom and an office cleaning later... today has not been a fun time. Luckily it seems no devices took direct hits so there shouldn't be any major financial impacts. This painful elbow is not a fun time, mind...

Can you get the CCTV? 🤣

[Lord Sterling]

3 hours ago, Markeh said:

In what can only be described as an outtake from Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, an attempt earlier today to bring a 2-litre bottle of coke up to my office resulted in it falling on the floor, somehow bursting despite no sharp objects where it fell, and proceeding to shower me and the surrounding area with its contents. When proceeding to then run to the nearby bathroom and lob said bottle in the bath, I slipped on the bathroom floor, managing to smack my elbow on the sink cabinet and how I haven't put my foot through the bath panel, I don't know.

3 ceilings, a bathroom and an office cleaning later... today has not been a fun time. Luckily it seems no devices took direct hits so there shouldn't be any major financial impacts. This painful elbow is not a fun time, mind...

I think we sometimes have moments like that. I must confess, something similar happened to me some years ago....

Prior to my current phone. I'd purchased another phone online, but almost as soon as it arrived, it was causing me issues. I had a bit more of a temper then too.

First issue was, it wouldn't connect to my Peugeots' Bluetooth system, the older phone had no issues. Neither would it connect to my sound Bluetooth connector. Fair enough, I'll sort it later, I stuck it on the cars phone holder mount which then promptly fell off as I was driving. So I stuck it back on and then again, it fell off hitting the screen of the Peugeots' radio causing a pixel 'bruise' on it.

Angry, I chucked the phone on the passenger seat which then ricochet off the seat hitting a bottle of milk I had laying on the passenger floor and slicing the bottle causing the contents to start spilling on the floor.

Thankfully, I had original Peugeot rubber floor mats which caught most of the milk, I pulled over safely and binned the milk, emptied the floormat of spilt milk. The phone got smashed to absolute smithereens and binned, but in a last ditch attempt at biting me back, it tried to knick me a couple of times with some sharp bits as it got smashed up.  There was something definately evil about that phone 

[Spiny Norman]

No point crying over it though? 😛

[Unlucky Alf]

Bloody pheasant's. They are such twats.

Driving through countryside and pheasant flys from other side of road, narrowly misses csr going in opposite direction and whomp.. hits nearside front.. ball of feathers and no doubt guts is batted across the road and I see it bowling down the road in the rear view mirror. 

Pull over, inspect damage.  Driving light and indicator totally smashed into inside of bumper but bumper has only light scuffing.

Ebay parts and araldite to the rescue, it had smashed one of the three screw mounts inside the bumper.  Managed to replace the assembly by working through the wheel well, once I had dealt with rusty screws and useless plastic clips now replaced with cabletie.

 

Two days ago, im pootling down handcross hill at 60 in nearside lane…. Whump.  Another fucking bird brain has flown  across the barrier and hit car dead center, its then bounced upwards and over the roof, with impressive feather and bird debris viewable in the mirror. I get home to inspect the inevitable damage.

There is slight  Beak/claw scratches on the  paint above the plastic bumper but result, no other damage and the radiator/aircon pack are intact.

This time I thought I would grab the dashcam of it, to give marks out of 10 for artistic effort.

I  Discovered the fucking dashcam hadnt recorded anything since 2024.  Awesome.

 

[New POD]

16 minutes ago, Unlucky Alf said:

Bloody pheasant's. They are such twats.

Driving through countryside and pheasant flys from other side of road, narrowly misses csr going in opposite direction and whomp.. hits nearside front.. ball of feathers and no doubt guts is batted across the road and I see it bowling down the road in the rear view mirror. 

Pull over, inspect damage.  Driving light and indicator totally smashed into inside of bumper but bumper has only light scuffing.

Ebay parts and araldite to the rescue, it had smashed one of the three screw mounts inside the bumper.  Managed to replace the assembly by working through the wheel well, once I had dealt with rusty screws and useless plastic clips now replaced with cabletie.

 

Two days ago, im pootling down handcross hill at 60 in nearside lane…. Whump.  Another fucking bird brain has flown  across the barrier and hit car dead center, its then bounced upwards and over the roof, with impressive feather and bird debris viewable in the mirror. I get home to inspect the inevitable damage.

There is slight  Beak/claw scratches on the  paint above the plastic bumper but result, no other damage and the radiator/aircon pack are intact.

This time I thought I would grab the dashcam of it, to give marks out of 10 for artistic effort.

I  Discovered the fucking dashcam hadnt recorded anything since 2024.  Awesome.

 

I live near where the Waterloo Cup  used to be held. Obviously Hare Coursing is banned, but the estate farms branched out into pheasant shooting.  Problem is, that those that don't get shot end up loose.  And they end up on the roads. Yesterday I was about to overtake a car doing 40 in a 60 and the fucker did an emergency brake and swerved into the empty lane I was about to overtake them in. Why? A pheasant. Stupid bastards. 

Don't sure how we didn't have contact. 

[Asimo]

1 hour ago, New POD said:

overtake a car doing 40 in a 60

Maybe the present pheasant hazard was why the peasant was at 40 in a 60?

[DavieW]

They (pheasants) have absolutely no road sense. Lost count of the times ones stutted across  the road in front of me  gets 3/4  of the way across the road, sees me and then turns round and runs back straight in front of me. 

When you hit one though, they're not as impressive in the rear mirror as a chicken though! Didn't know chickens has so many feathers 😂

[jakebullet]

Some kids declared on the citybug facebook group that he also fixerates speedos. Today he tags me with "hi mate don’t suppose u could help me out with a test harness thanks 🙏"

Hmmmm. So this is an opportunity for me to drive to the scrapyard and cut out all the wiring loom, and I can then use my hard gained knowledge to make it into a test harness and in return you will compete with me for sales?

Sounds like a great* plan with no drawbacks.

[warch]

15 hours ago, Knotty Ash Towers said:

I had a similar experience when I worked for Sainsburys. A bottle of lemonade fell on the floor, burst and proceeded to shower me, rolling in the opposite direction as it did so. A bit embarrassing really...

About 30 years ago when I worked in the dairy (chilled goods) section of Somerfields one of my colleagues dropped a six pack of spray cream which exploded all over him. For added comedy value he wore glasses so he had to take them off to find his way out of the walk in fridge. 

[GeordieInExile]

My Focus seems to have developed a bit of incontinence. The level looks fine on the dipstick so I'm not sure what's going on here...

[Zelandeth]

1 minute ago, GeordieInExile said:

My Focus seems to have developed a bit of incontinence. The level looks fine on the dipstick so I'm not sure what's going on here...

Looks like that could well be diesel rather than engine oil (assuming it's diesel anyway).

[MikeR]

5 hours ago, New POD said:

I live near where the Waterloo Cup  used to be held. Obviously Hare Coursing is banned, but the estate farms branched out into pheasant shooting.  Problem is, that those that don't get shot end up loose.  And they end up on the roads. Yesterday I was about to overtake a car doing 40 in a 60 and the fucker did an emergency brake and swerved into the empty lane I was about to overtake them in. Why? A pheasant. Stupid bastards. 

Don't sure how we didn't have contact. 

I had one look and then jump out of a hedge in front of my Volvo at the time in Lunt , last thing I saw before the thump , was the biggest set of eyes a bird ever had !!

usual big cloud of feathers , no damage ...

[New POD]

6 hours ago, Asimo said:

Maybe the present pheasant hazard was why the peasant was at 40 in a 60?

No. I'd be following them for a few miles by then. 

[GeordieInExile]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Looks like that could well be diesel rather than engine oil (assuming it's diesel anyway).

Petrol!

[Lord Sterling]

Not car related, but this has been causing me grumps for a long while now.

The ads industry. They are absolutely fucking mental now. Cramming ads into every available space there is now. 

Just FUCK OFF. When I pause a video, I don't want to see a FUCKING AD. Ads ads ads, every-fucking-where you point your eyes. 

[Metal Guru]

9 minutes ago, Lord Sterling said:

Not car related, but this has been causing me grumps for a long while now.

The ads industry. They are absolutely fucking mental now. Cramming ads into every available space there is now. 

Just FUCK OFF. When I pause a video, I don't want to see a FUCKING AD. Ads ads ads, every-fucking-where you point your eyes. 

The worse was during the recent 6 nations rugby, when they put adverts on during the game while scrums were forming. Picture in Picture admittedly but still very annoying.

I suspect we’ll get them during every VAR stoppage in the forthcoming World Cup.

[Lord Sterling]

14 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

The worse was during the recent 6 nations rugby, when they put adverts on during the game while scrums were forming. Picture in Picture admittedly but still very annoying.

I suspect we’ll get them during every VAR stoppage in the forthcoming World Cup.

Its honestly out of this world. Being annoying doesn't make sales. 

Back in the day, adverts were memorable because effort was put into it. They had their own place. Nowadays, every single area of space is filled with fucking annoying as fuck ads. The industry is out of control.

[Zelandeth]

Aaaaaaarrrrgghhh!

<Angry Scotsman noises here>

That should be here.

It is emphatically NOT in there.

God fscking damn it...

...Must not set fire to it...must not set fire to it...

I love wasting what will by the time I've corrected that error be somewhere in the region of four hours of my time.

Guessing I'm now a member of a club of hundreds if not thousands of people who have made this exact mistake when working on this engine.

On the plus side, I did buy two head gaskets so already have a spare.  I was kinda hoping to keep that in stock as a spare for like...future YEARS, rather than tomorrow.

[GeorgeB]

2 hours ago, Lord Sterling said:

Not car related, but this has been causing me grumps for a long while now.

The ads industry. They are absolutely fucking mental now. Cramming ads into every available space there is now. 

Just FUCK OFF. When I pause a video, I don't want to see a FUCKING AD. Ads ads ads, every-fucking-where you point your eyes. 

Try Brave browser.

[myglaren]

14 minutes ago, GeorgeB said:

Try Brave browser.

I use Brave, Firefox and Chromium.  No ads.  Have various adblockers in place.

[iainrcz]

I've got the weekend off, the Mrs has tried to manhandle me twice since 7pm.

It's like living with Gary fucking Glitter.

[DavieW]

Blaze Bailey on Planet Rock just now - what a knob.

[High Jetter]

On 01/04/2026 at 09:04, High Jetter said:

33 minutes on phone to Drs and I'm only down to No. 6 in the queue

After 61 minutes I was answered. Had a phone consult same morning! Dietitian is threatened.

[24vdiamond]

1 hour ago, iainrcz said:

I've got the weekend off, the Mrs has tried to manhandle me twice since 7pm.

It's like living with Gary fucking Glitter.

Don't knock it, it won't always be that way 😊