The grumpy thread

[jakebullet]

1 minute ago, RoverFolkUs said:

You'd think "return to sender" would get him to stop. I may* have done it. Ma's seen Alan returning. N the dog eggs are going from CND's patch, so he's probably doing it too.

I want to lanoguard the disco, but it's been dog egged all around which puts you off a bit* even though you've returned the eggs. Oh, and it reeks of jeyes fluid, as Ma is convinced it will repel dogs. Spoiler: it doesn't.

Don't know if those ultrasonic things work. Could be next to try.

[paulplom]

13 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Worst Star wars intro ever!

[Split_Pin]

14 hours ago, jakebullet said:

You'd think "return to sender" would get him to stop. I may* have done it. Ma's seen Alan returning. N the dog eggs are going from CND's patch, so he's probably doing it too.

I want to lanoguard the disco, but it's been dog egged all around which puts you off a bit* even though you've returned the eggs. Oh, and it reeks of jeyes fluid, as Ma is convinced it will repel dogs. Spoiler: it doesn't.

Don't know if those ultrasonic things work. Could be next to try.

I put a neighbour's Alsation off doing massive gushing pisses right outside my driveway every day with some pepper. I asked the owner to stop letting it do that as my son wheeled through it with his scooter which was unpleasant but she said as it wasn't in my property there was nothing I could do. The pepper seemed to work and is harmless to the dog.

Thankfully they moved away yesterday, cunts.

[Rust Collector]

14 hours ago, jakebullet said:

Don't know if those ultrasonic things work.

One of my neighbours has one on her front lawn, I walk by every day with my dogs and they don't bat an eyelid at it and will happily stop and sniff around the pavement near it... It fucks me off though as I find the noise really grating so maybe it'll keep your neighbours away 😅

[New POD]

14 hours ago, chaseracer said:

Odd.  The Key Arse Tonic we had from the Cherbourg office last Friday was immaculate, with 5000km on the clock, and has behaved impeccably so far.

I shall complain... 😁

Via the RAC my wife got a car from.entrrprise. Bangor.  They couldn't find an automatic, but instead filled the black car up to the brim, with fuel and marked it up as collected with the fuel tank on empty. Delivered it direct to my wife's holiday cottage. 

I rented a long sprinter the other week fir 2 days from. SOUTHPORT. Apart from.the fact that they had no parking spaces so i had ti leave my astra in the street. They were efficient and did not trust to fob me off with "no dents" Bullshilt. It had a few. 

[GMcD]

21 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

I put a neighbour's Alsation off doing massive gushing pisses right outside my driveway every day with some pepper. I asked the owner to stop letting it do that as my son wheeled through it with his scooter which was unpleasant but she said as it wasn't in my property there was nothing I could do. The pepper seemed to work and is harmless to the dog.

Thankfully they moved away yesterday, cunts.

Thing is people have no ability to come and go. Or even think of others. Defence's come right up with even small things. How dare you ask such a reasonable request. 

I don't think it's much to ask to drag the dog a few metres away from an entrance to do a pish. 

I get dogs can sometimes go where they want to, but simply a 2 second deviation from them (walk on the other side of the street, drag the dog or walk in the kerb at that spot) and problem solved.

I don't own a dog but regular look after my friends. I would never let the thing pish outside someone's drive or path. I think it's rude. But maybe I'm out of touch. 

[New POD]

I'm 9 weeks into my new job. I seem to have made friends with a few people.

But the guy I sit next to, is an absolute....actually I can't describe how much I now hate him.

Last week, I came in on Friday last week feeling a bit miserable, so I greeted him with the words "good morning, where are you on the mood ladder, cause I feel a bit down, and I need someone to cheer me up" 

His response was something like "I don't know what you are talking about. Why would you ask me that?" 

Today I came in and greeted my 3 colleagues including him " Good morning all. And it is always a good morning when you wake up...(and then to him)..Good morning..xxxxx...Nice to see you without your headphones on" 

His response, was " why do you insult me everytime you talk to me? Last week you insult me with your mood ladder and now you are having a go about my wearing headphones" 

What the absolute ballocks. What paranoid world do you actually live in? Where you think I would go out of my way to insult anyone.. I won't even stoop to call my trivial greeting.....banter, because clearly you are looking for a fight.  You won't get one from me. That's the last time I speak to you, unless you speak to me first.  And should you be on fire, I won't spare the steam on my piss to put you out. 

 

 

 

[junkyarddog]

Missed out on a low mileage Mk1 Ford Granada ghia yesterday. 😕

 

 

[dozeydustman]

COVID has ravaged the office today. Called to work at 5am on my ‘late start” day because one of the 2 early supervisors was unwell. One of the waste team leads also called up unwell while I was on my way in. 7am had a team meeting discussing the next week as 5 frontline also have COVID.

9am the supervisor who called me tested positive. Mass test in the office, myself and supervisor 4 and team lead 2 negative but 6 of the 15 admin staff tested positive.

Our policy is still stay away for 5 days or until you test negative, whichever is the sooner. At least the other team lead bought everyone a breakfast from the local snack wagon. I’ve just got over Noro, I don’t want this.

 

[Metal Guru]

8 minutes ago, dozeydustman said:

COVID has ravaged the office today. Called to work at 5am on my ‘late start” day because one of the 2 early supervisors was unwell. One of the waste team leads also called up unwell while I was on my way in. 7am had a team meeting discussing the next week as 5 frontline also have COVID.

9am the supervisor who called me tested positive. Mass test in the office, myself and supervisor 4 and team lead 2 negative but 6 of the 15 admin staff tested positive.

Our policy is still stay away for 5 days or until you test negative, whichever is the sooner. At least the other team lead bought everyone a breakfast from the local snack wagon. I’ve just got over Noro, I don’t want this.

 

I’ve got all the symptoms but negative tests. Had this about 4 times since it all started. 

[hairnet]

heard on radio that deacon blue are touring

cant do the manchester one as its on friday and im going to belfast

ironically the belfast gig is during next week which is a shame theres leeds and things also but no way id get there on a weeknight without huge stress

then they do austrailia

i could do brighton tomorrow as i got new guy who said hed do my sat but i need to get the shock put in the bike first as saturday is the only day they could do before i go belfast

edit train to brighton would be 131 quid if they werent strike

flight to southampton goes via either guernsey (!) or jersey (!) and starts with a 3

fek that

[dozeydustman]

2 hours ago, dozeydustman said:

COVID has ravaged the office today. Called to work at 5am on my ‘late start” day because one of the 2 early supervisors was unwell. One of the waste team leads also called up unwell while I was on my way in. 7am had a team meeting discussing the next week as 5 frontline also have COVID.

9am the supervisor who called me tested positive. Mass test in the office, myself and supervisor 4 and team lead 2 negative but 6 of the 15 admin staff tested positive.

Our policy is still stay away for 5 days or until you test negative, whichever is the sooner. At least the other team lead bought everyone a breakfast from the local snack wagon. I’ve just got over Noro, I don’t want this.

 

 

Oh Cock. I was negative at lunchtime but the wife has come home from work fully of lurgy and cold. We’re both positive, as bow is team lead 2. Just leaves the newest supervisor and any mug he can rope in on Monday to unlock.

[Metal Guru]

On 9/28/2023 at 12:01 AM, adw1977 said:

This has happened to me a few times recently with Branston Beans.

Plus one for Branston beans tonight.

[adw1977]

48 minutes ago, Metal Guru said:

Plus one for Branston beans tonight.

At the risk of Branston beans taking over the thread, I can report that I successfully opened one this evening. 

[myglaren]

20 hours ago, GMcD said:

Thing is people have no ability to come and go. Or even think of others. Defence's come right up with even small things. How dare you ask such a reasonable request. 

I don't think it's much to ask to drag the dog a few metres away from an entrance to do a pish. 

I get dogs can sometimes go where they want to, but simply a 2 second deviation from them (walk on the other side of the street, drag the dog or walk in the kerb at that spot) and problem solved.

I don't own a dog but regular look after my friends. I would never let the thing pish outside someone's drive or path. I think it's rude. But maybe I'm out of touch. 

My brother in law often had to remonstrate with Dame Edith Evans for allowing her dog to piss on the doorstep of the restaurant he worked in.

[dozeydustman]

1 hour ago, myglaren said:

My brother in law often had to remonstrate with Dame Edith Evans for allowing her dog to piss on the doorstep of the restaurant he worked in.

She could have made her dog do it in a handbag

[Low Horatio gearbox]

Been  poorly (very)  and sick since Tuesday  either blinding headaches or  awful stomach ache - tho last night I had both for 3 hours.

[purplebargeken]

Haribo.... do they now contain fucking Sorbitol? Best anti-constipation thing ever. Fuck you Haribo bears, my arse hates you.

[RoverFolkUs]

Ok, done my bit for the grin thread, now for the grumps originating from the boot sale today. 

1) Selling a Sky Q remote. Honestly, no idea why I had it. I've never had Sky Q. Probably came with a bundle of electronics. Anyway, guy asked how much, I said £1.50? He umms, ahhs, puts it down. Then comes back and offers £1. I said "I think £1.50 is fair, surely? If you needed one NOW and had to go to Tesco or Argos they're about £30. He responds, "err, it's a bit of a risk, what if it doesn't work?" Well, I can't see why it wouldn't work. It's a remote control. But, I'm no gambling man, however I know which option I'd be going for! He reluctantly stumped up the £1.50 and muttered "it better work" as he walked off...

2) One of those replica KitchenAid stand mixer things which everyone has but never uses. A fiver must be fair? Delightful* gentleman offers £3. I'm all for a haggle, it's a car boot sale, so I said how about £4.. he said "I give £3" .. no, it's pretty much brand new. £4 is the lowest, sorry. 

A bit of ping pong 🏓 between "three" and "four" was had, when I reached the end of my tether, pointed to the offside rear wheel of my motor car and said, "four quid or I'm going to squish it under there in front of you, if you wish to stay and watch" 

£4 was duly paid, with a giggle, and the mixer was sold. 

3) A couple of pretty new blankets, £1 each, I said £1.50 for both if you want them. She absolutely insists on £1 for both. And then walks off because she can't have them both for £1... ok, no problem, I'd much rather be donating them to the local homeless collection who will appreciate them far more than you. If you go to a shop to buy some you'd easily be paying a tenner each. Twat. 

AMAZINGLY - I did not have one single punter pick up an item and ask "what is it". Usually the first thought that crosses my mind in that situation is "it'll be a fucking suppository in a minute you timewasting fool" but I will duly explain and they'll throw it back in the general direction they picked it up from without saying anything. But none of those today. Nice. 

An obligatory part of selling at a car boot sale is having a wander around at some point to see what useful* items you can buy. Today was no exception. I picked up a DVD, asked how much, he said £2, its a bit pricey but it's one I wanted, I said how about £1. His response in the snottiest attitude was "yeah if it's still here by the end, or £2 now"

Ok then delboy, £2 it is, but it's a fucking DVD which is as desirable as bum aids at a car boot sale, and it would definitely still be there at the end due to the fact it's been there for 3 hours already and some people have started packing up.. Because he was rude, instead of having over the £2 coin I had in my pocket, I decided to give him a tenner which seemed to wipe out their change pot and cause much upset to his equally miserable wife(?) who started giving him an earful about it for "fucking up her car boot sale by giving away their takings" 

Not sure how she got to that conclusion to be fair... 

Hahahaha! Childish, evil, call me whatever you like. I love messing with people in the most harmless or maliciously compliant way possible 🤣

[GrumpiusMaximus]

8 hours ago, purplebargeken said:

Haribo.... do they now contain fucking Sorbitol? Best anti-constipation thing ever. Fuck you Haribo bears, my arse hates you.

https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC

https://www.boredpanda.com/hilarious-comments-sugarfree-haribo-gummies/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

You're not the only one!

[Bren]

Much sickness in the Bren house.

Snot and vom. No school for youngest.

[Rustybullethole]

Bent down to slosh out the bucket at the end of garden after cleaning the trowls and get a little tickle in the ear from the bushes.

Stand up and cam feel and hear something mincing about in my lug hole. Its having a party in there and frankly its not pleasant. Tap other side of bounce is not helping. Calm down relax, what would a pro do?

Flush it out with hose pipe. This did not help. Probably blasted it in deeper cos numb nuts didn't check the hose and it was on super jet. 

Calm down relax, fuckers still tap dancing in there!

Twezers. I have some as pulling out foreign bodies at work is a fairly regular occurrence. Cant find them. 

Spaghetti. Snaps off in ear.

Henry. I out a fresh bag in this morning so full suck mode will surely sort it. No. Am not sure thats great for ear drum either. 

Concerted search yields tweezers. Pull out spaghetti and a load of ear hair but no incy wincy. He's still wriggling.

Back to where i started shall set hose on flood rather than jet. 

My lug hole is not thanking me though Incy has either drowned and is still there or has fell out the spout. Either way he's not wriggling this is good. 

[Markeh]

11 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Ok, done my bit for the grin thread, now for the grumps originating from the boot sale today. 

1) Selling a Sky Q remote. Honestly, no idea why I had it. I've never had Sky Q. Probably came with a bundle of electronics. Anyway, guy asked how much, I said £1.50? He umms, ahhs, puts it down. Then comes back and offers £1. I said "I think £1.50 is fair, surely? If you needed one NOW and had to go to Tesco or Argos they're about £30. He responds, "err, it's a bit of a risk, what if it doesn't work?" Well, I can't see why it wouldn't work. It's a remote control. But, I'm no gambling man, however I know which option I'd be going for! He reluctantly stumped up the £1.50 and muttered "it better work" as he walked off...

2) One of those replica KitchenAid stand mixer things which everyone has but never uses. A fiver must be fair? Delightful* gentleman offers £3. I'm all for a haggle, it's a car boot sale, so I said how about £4.. he said "I give £3" .. no, it's pretty much brand new. £4 is the lowest, sorry. 

A bit of ping pong 🏓 between "three" and "four" was had, when I reached the end of my tether, pointed to the offside rear wheel of my motor car and said, "four quid or I'm going to squish it under there in front of you, if you wish to stay and watch" 

£4 was duly paid, with a giggle, and the mixer was sold. 

3) A couple of pretty new blankets, £1 each, I said £1.50 for both if you want them. She absolutely insists on £1 for both. And then walks off because she can't have them both for £1... ok, no problem, I'd much rather be donating them to the local homeless collection who will appreciate them far more than you. If you go to a shop to buy some you'd easily be paying a tenner each. Twat. 

AMAZINGLY - I did not have one single punter pick up an item and ask "what is it". Usually the first thought that crosses my mind in that situation is "it'll be a fucking suppository in a minute you timewasting fool" but I will duly explain and they'll throw it back in the general direction they picked it up from without saying anything. But none of those today. Nice. 

An obligatory part of selling at a car boot sale is having a wander around at some point to see what useful* items you can buy. Today was no exception. I picked up a DVD, asked how much, he said £2, its a bit pricey but it's one I wanted, I said how about £1. His response in the snottiest attitude was "yeah if it's still here by the end, or £2 now"

Ok then delboy, £2 it is, but it's a fucking DVD which is as desirable as bum aids at a car boot sale, and it would definitely still be there at the end due to the fact it's been there for 3 hours already and some people have started packing up.. Because he was rude, instead of having over the £2 coin I had in my pocket, I decided to give him a tenner which seemed to wipe out their change pot and cause much upset to his equally miserable wife(?) who started giving him an earful about it for "fucking up her car boot sale by giving away their takings" 

Not sure how she got to that conclusion to be fair... 

Hahahaha! Childish, evil, call me whatever you like. I love messing with people in the most harmless or maliciously compliant way possible 🤣

My favourite was one who asked about a laptop I had on (at the time a 2 year old i5 HP) that was £150. I said "one fifty" and she assumed I meant £1.50.... and still asked if it had the charger and gave it a thorough inspection before trying to hand me some coins!

That's cheap for a stand mixer - I sold my cheapie one for £30 on Marketplace after inheriting an actual KitchenAid, and I had lots of enquiries. He should've snapped your hand off at a fiver!

[outlaw118]

Took a bit of a tumble at work 11am  - down some stairs where the handrail came away in my fat hand. Block or poorly maintained council flats, in Basildon. Utter shitehole, knee swollen, back jarred.

Shit happens, that's not the grump. Spoke to the Boss, she says go home, fill in form etc.... Been home since 2.15 because stupidly tried to carry on while in fucking agony.

 

Having to call the company sickline (3rd party run - Swiftcare?) to report or I'll lose time. 

"Your call in important to us, please continue to hold, we'll be with you as soon as we can".

29 bastard minutes so far. I want to take some proper painkillers and have a nap.

[outlaw118]

1 houe 4 minutes all in, FFS

[Remspoor]

19 hours ago, purplebargeken said:

Haribo.... do they now contain fucking Sorbitol? Best anti-constipation thing ever. Fuck you Haribo bears, my arse hates you.

What? You put the bears in your ass?

[purplebargeken]

No, I ate them on this occasion. Same result either way I would imagine.

[dozeydustman]

This bloody cough has kept me up most of the night. Went to bed at half 7 as I was feeling rough. Been up roughly every hour and a half and I think my right lung is trying to eject itself from my body.

[New POD]

On 9/30/2023 at 9:22 AM, myglaren said:

My brother in law often had to remonstrate with Dame Edna Everidge for allowing her dog to piss on the doorstep of the restaurant he worked in.

Barry Humfries was known to be a bit of a twat wasn't he? 

[myglaren]

23 hours ago, Rustybullethole said:

Bent down to slosh out the bucket at the end of garden after cleaning the trowls and get a little tickle in the ear from the bushes.

Stand up and cam feel and hear something mincing about in my lug hole. Its having a party in there and frankly its not pleasant. Tap other side of bounce is not helping. Calm down relax, what would a pro do?

Flush it out with hose pipe. This did not help. Probably blasted it in deeper cos numb nuts didn't check the hose and it was on super jet. 

Calm down relax, fuckers still tap dancing in there!

Twezers. I have some as pulling out foreign bodies at work is a fairly regular occurrence. Cant find them. 

Spaghetti. Snaps off in ear.

Henry. I out a fresh bag in this morning so full suck mode will surely sort it. No. Am not sure thats great for ear drum either. 

Concerted search yields tweezers. Pull out spaghetti and a load of ear hair but no incy wincy. He's still wriggling.

Back to where i started shall set hose on flood rather than jet. 

My lug hole is not thanking me though Incy has either drowned and is still there or has fell out the spout. Either way he's not wriggling this is good. 

I went out to 'test' a new weed rake, got talking him next door so was a while.

About an hour after coming in I felt a tickle in my left lug, poked it and loads of soil fell out.

Can't imagine how it got there.

Not as bad as invading arachnids of course.