The grumpy thread

[Dyslexic Viking]

1 hour ago, Rust Collector said:

This is kind of the crux of it.

In the second house I rented, my Labrador got up to the kitchen counter one day when I was out and pulled down a 2 litre bottle of vegetable oil, which he burst and then drank. He then vomited and arse blasted oil all over the kitchen, which luckily had a tile floor and I cleaned up without issue. He was fine all evening after that, and I stupidly thought all was well. He looked a bit sorry for himself though and so I let him come and sleep upstairs in the bedroom with me so he was more comfortable. This was error of judgement number one. I was awoken in the early hours to the smell of rancid arse and a sound like chunky soup pouring out a drain. Panic kicked in and I ran over to the dog, grabbed him in a bear hug and ran through the house to the garden with him. This was mistake number two. Instead of just ruining the bedroom carpet, I ruined the upstairs landing, stairway, and downstairs hallway carpets too. I had a vax type thing, but it just couldn't shift the oily poo mixture completely and the carpets were never going to be quite the same again. I went to the local carpet place and had a chat, it turned out that they did the carpets before we moved in and were able to supply the same carpet so that I could replace it like for like. A friend was a carpet fitter so I got him in to do the job as I trusted him to do it right. It cost me several hundred quid to put right, but I couldn't have left it in good conscience as I don't think 'wear and tear' quite covers what happened that night.

If anyone is wondering why I prefer cats, this is why.

[artdjones]

4 minutes ago, Dyslexic Viking said:

If anyone is wondering why I prefer cats, this is why.

Yes, cat vomit and shite is so much nicer.

[Dyslexic Viking]

2 minutes ago, artdjones said:

Yes, cat vomit and shite is so much nicer.

What I meant is that they don't do such stupid things like this.

[Split_Pin]

1 hour ago, Rust Collector said:

This is kind of the crux of it.

In the second house I rented, my Labrador got up to the kitchen counter one day when I was out and pulled down a 2 litre bottle of vegetable oil, which he burst and then drank. He then vomited and arse blasted oil all over the kitchen, which luckily had a tile floor and I cleaned up without issue. He was fine all evening after that, and I stupidly thought all was well. He looked a bit sorry for himself though and so I let him come and sleep upstairs in the bedroom with me so he was more comfortable. This was error of judgement number one. I was awoken in the early hours to the smell of rancid arse and a sound like chunky soup pouring out a drain. Panic kicked in and I ran over to the dog, grabbed him in a bear hug and ran through the house to the garden with him. This was mistake number two. Instead of just ruining the bedroom carpet, I ruined the upstairs landing, stairway, and downstairs hallway carpets too. I had a vax type thing, but it just couldn't shift the oily poo mixture completely and the carpets were never going to be quite the same again. I went to the local carpet place and had a chat, it turned out that they did the carpets before we moved in and were able to supply the same carpet so that I could replace it like for like. A friend was a carpet fitter so I got him in to do the job as I trusted him to do it right. It cost me several hundred quid to put right, but I couldn't have left it in good conscience as I don't think 'wear and tear' quite covers what happened that night.

My ambivalence is stopping me from being able to choose a laughing or a sad emoticon. Glad the big fella was OK after all that,  he was no doubt thinking wtaf is happening to me.

[Split_Pin]

Just now, Dyslexic Viking said:

What I meant is that they don't do such stupid things like this.

My Auntie Ailsa had made a lovely birthday prawn cocktail starter for my uncle and unbeknownst to her their cat had sneaked into the kitchen, eaten the prawn cocktail, licked the butter and then barfed the while lot back up on the worktop and into the prawn cocktail.

I like both dogs and cats but they can definitely both be dicks. At least dogs can look guilty or sorry!

[andyberg]

Really!? Have things got so bad that my local Tesco supermarket is having to security tag joints of meat!!!...

[GMcD]

I thought it was normal? It's been happening round here forever. 

[Dyslexic Viking]

31 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

My Auntie Ailsa had made a lovely birthday prawn cocktail starter for my uncle and unbeknownst to her their cat had sneaked into the kitchen, eaten the prawn cocktail, licked the butter and then barfed the while lot back up on the worktop and into the prawn cocktail.

I like both dogs and cats but they can definitely both be dicks. At least dogs can look guilty or sorry!

I must have been lucky as the cats I have had have all been well behaved and have never done anything like this.

[Split_Pin]

11 minutes ago, andyberg said:

Really!? Have things got so bad that my local Tesco supermarket is having to security tag joints of meat!!!...

I hate to label folk but I have seen certain people stealing raw meat who may or may not look thin and sunken faced and who seem to find this stuff easy to sell on quickly. 

When I worked on Dalry Road in Edinburgh I recall 2 polis chasing 2 worn out looking people with sores on their face up the middle of the road as they'd just stolen a whole box of bacon from the Lidl. The security guard who was also in pursuit appeared to know them as he was shouting "ROBERT, ROBERT!" but on listening closer he just had a European accent and was shouting 'robber'. The 2 folk dropped the bacon and a Lothian bus ran it over leaving a 30 foot bacon skidmark up the road. 

A futile quest for all concerned.

[SH1TE]

16 minutes ago, andyberg said:

Really!? Have things got so bad that my local Tesco supermarket is having to security tag joints of meat!!!...

You live in a mediocre area,  when the cheese,  bacon and deodorant all locked away- scum central 

[FiatPhil]

21 minutes ago, andyberg said:

Really!? Have things got so bad that my local Tesco supermarket is having to security tag joints of meat!!!...

Our local Tesco even security tags energy drinks located in the chiller compartment! It is right near a boys school, to be fair.

[SH1TE]

Need two doors for a job,  rather than order in and nail customer for them. 

Trip to Bristol IKEA,  plenty of mindless Clunge,  some Gunt and plenty of oxygen thieves. 

Bloody lard camel toe winking at me-put me right off hot dog and chips

[twosmoke300]

4 hours ago, jakebullet said:

I was in my shed working on the lathe, when there's a sudden bang! followed by air blasting. Gosh*, wonder what that could be?

Air line auto oiler had exploded. I think the oil reservoir plastic has gone brittle with age and decided to part company from the body rocket launch style. Glad I wasn't stood near it.

Hope your lathe and compressor are nice and quiet . Don’t want to upset the neighbours 😂

[High Jetter]

33 minutes ago, andyberg said:

Really!? Have things got so bad that my local Tesco supermarket is having to security tag joints of meat!!!...

I was really surprised to find security tags on a £2.75 product in a small Sainsbury near me. This was alcohol free wine!

[reb]

22 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

I hate to label folk but I have seen certain people stealing raw meat who may or may not look thin and sunken faced and who seem to find this stuff easy to sell on quickly. 

When I worked on Dalry Road in Edinburgh I recall 2 polis chasing 2 worn out looking people with sores on their face up the middle of the road as they'd just stolen a whole box of bacon from the Lidl. The security guard who was also in pursuit appeared to know them as he was shouting "ROBERT, ROBERT!" but on listening closer he just had a European accent and was shouting 'robber'. The 2 folk dropped the bacon and a Lothian bus ran it over leaving a 30 foot bacon skidmark up the road. 

A futile quest for all concerned.

I lived just off Dalry road for a while, no part of this story surprised me in the slightest.

[jakebullet]

23 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

Hope your lathe and compressor are nice and quiet . Don’t want to upset the neighbours 😂

I don't think 2 hours a week when they're out is excessive. Don't have a long enough cable to bolt the compressor to their extension.

[wuvvum]

1 hour ago, Split_Pin said:

My Auntie Ailsa had made a lovely birthday prawn cocktail starter for my uncle and unbeknownst to her their cat had sneaked into the kitchen, eaten the prawn cocktail, licked the butter and then barfed the while lot back up on the worktop and into the prawn cocktail.

I like both dogs and cats but they can definitely both be dicks. At least dogs can look guilty or sorry!

My favourite bit of this story is the fact that you have an aunt named after a bus.

[High Jetter]

1 minute ago, wuvvum said:

My favourite bit of this story is the fact that you have an aunt named after a bus.

How do you know it wasn't the other way round?

[Lacquer Peel]

1 hour ago, andyberg said:

Really!? Have things got so bad that my local Tesco supermarket is having to security tag joints of meat!!!...

You have to be naive to think things haven't already been bad for a decade or more. 

[twosmoke300]

It’s to stop all the parasite landlords stealing the meat 😂

[Zelandeth]

I do sometimes wonder what I did to piss off which of the gods in a previous life.

Today's fun event was a lorry driver going up the A5 deciding to chuck a 2 litre bottle of piss out his window - which promptly exploded on contact with the tarmac, about 20 feet in front of my car.  In which I was travelling with both windows wide open because it's bloody hot.

Lovely.  I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to feel that the interior is actually clean again.

Leaving them in the lay bys for someone else to clear up is bad enough, but chucking the bottle out the bloody window in busy traffic just ain't funny. 

Aside from anything else, I don't particularly want to find out which wins in a battle between a full two litre pop bottle and my radiator or windscreen, or a motorcyclists face.

[New POD]

1 hour ago, GMcD said:

I thought it was normal? It's been happening round here forever. 

It's easy to steal by people who scan as they go.

Put one you are stealing under the potatoes, scan a second and place it in clear view so that if there's a spot check, they can see it, or 

Just pretend that the scanner clearly isn't working properly in the unlikely event that someone does an audit. 

[New POD]

11 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

It’s to stop all the parasite landlords stealing the meat 😂

It's okay we can afford our own livestock, and have an arrangement with a local butcher. 

 

[SH1TE]

6 minutes ago, New POD said:

It's easy to steal by people who scan as they go.

Put one you are stealing under the potatoes, scan a second and place it in clear view so that if there's a spot check, they can see it, or 

Just pretend that the scanner clearly isn't working properly in the unlikely event that someone does an audit. 

Local asda got robbed thousands as veg used as substitute for expensive items. 

Something like £2500 in thefts over several weeks. 

Tesco easier as they run out with a trolley full and security do feck all

[Yoss]

2 hours ago, Dyslexic Viking said:

If anyone is wondering why I prefer cats, this is why.

But cats aren't pets,  they just live where there is food. Three of my mums cats, including the current one, belonged to neighbours before they moved in with her. This is because  she always made a fuss of them when she was out and then they would follow her home, then she would feed them,  then they would stay. To be fair she told the neighbours each time where their cat was and each time they didn't mind because they're just cats. 

[eddyramrod]

As someone who has lived with both: a dog has a master, a cat has staff.

[hairnet]

watching car years on itv 4 and no wonder didnt watch it the first time

first year 66 yeah they talk about jensen ff and stuff

second one is 77 aston martin v8 vantage fair enough (alex riley bell end was dressed as bandit which was ok but theyve not talked about that yet)

but immediately they start talking about how they used it in living daylights ffs 10 years later

wtf

even they mentioned the fact AM were going broke and couldnt give them cars

bwhich was bollox cos gauntlett didnt happen till the 80s

*cookies griped *have headache now #mynerdisnothappy

[Dyslexic Viking]

53 minutes ago, Yoss said:

But cats aren't pets,  they just live where there is food. Three of my mums cats, including the current one, belonged to neighbours before they moved in with her. This is because  she always made a fuss of them when she was out and then they would follow her home, then she would feed them,  then they would stay. To be fair she told the neighbours each time where their cat was and each time they didn't mind because they're just cats. 

I find it strange that I have such a different perception of cats. The one I have now is very loving and clearly likes me a lot and is not food motivated either.

[Lacquer Peel]

1 hour ago, twosmoke300 said:

It’s to stop all the parasite landlords stealing the meat 😂

Maybe there would be more money to go around if much of our money wasn't going to rent seekers and profiteers. 

[Ghosty]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Today's fun event was a lorry driver going up the A5 deciding to chuck a 2 litre bottle of piss out his window

Don't suppose you have a dashcam? That's very very illegal.