The grumpy thread

[Coprolalia]

I did the Navimag ferry from Puerto Natales at the tip of Chile, up the coast to Puerto Montt, about 10 years ago. 

 

 

4 day journey on a mixed freight and passenger ferry. Generally utilitarian, but very scenic as mainly sailing up fjords, completely pristine and untouched. There's a bit just after Puerto Eden where you cross some open water, and the waves there have a fetch that brings them up from the roaring 40s. Fuck me. The drivers ratcheted their loads to the deck and then said prayers. Rolling 45 degrees to 45 degrees. Most of the passengers were sick. I got drunk at the empty bar, and remember being sat on a stool sliding from one end of the table to the other, drink in hand. 

[Guest Hooli]

Sounds an amazing trip that.

[Cavcraft]

People who speed up then brake for average speed cameras are hilarious, never fails to amuse me.

[Aston Martin]

 

I've never been allowed on the car deck when a ferry is at sea, doesn't the free/discounted food tempt them all in?

It's edible.... the shared cabins with other random fat men is the issue.

[cobblers]

Came home from work and let the dogs out for a slash.

It's raining so neither of them wants to go out, I pretty much had to physically boot them out and shut the door behind them.

 

Turned my back for a second and one of them jumped up at the handle, opened the kitchen door and let herself back in. Once inside, she turned round, stuck her head and one front paw over the threshold onto the patio and pissed all over the kitchen floor. 

What a dickhead!

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

GET THE BUILDERS IN! 

 

Shits sake, we are literally sitting around all day because the delicate office staff can't have any noise greater than footsteps... even though their cackling hurts my ears. All our work has to wait until 6.30pm! Dumped right in the middle of a nest of precious, entitled little flowers. Ok, I'm being paid a fucking fortune to do it but what a waste of time! 

[timolloyd]

I got drunk at the empty bar, and remember being sat on a stool sliding from one end of the table to the other, drink in hand.

I had a terrible ferry journey once, and also ended up sat on a stool*

[BorniteIdentity]

For fucks sake.

 

Just opened a Christmas card and a fucking Yorkshire pudding fell out. ????

 

Bloody Aunt Bessie.

[Craig the Princess]

Went into Downham Market to post a letter earlier. There are 7 slanted bays that allow 20 minutes parking.

 

Approaching them about 4 are filled, then the bunglecunt in the van in front of me parked across the three bays. As I stop and look a bit shocked he gives it the Bertie big bollocks "what I'm only posting a fucking letter".

 

Not a great idea in a signwritten van fella.

[busmansholiday]

Just seen the Halfrauds winter battery ad. FFS, when is somebody going to realise that whilst there's a Fester driving past in the snow, above it is a set of trolleybuses wires. We haven't had these in the UK for 46 years.....

[chodweaver]

^^^^^ Got a dashcam? I'd be inclined to pop it on their Facebook page...

 

But there is the danger that you would find yourself receiving an excess of attention from said force in the future...

 

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk

[Kiltox]

Tosser in an X5 .

Woah hang on I was a wanker on a train today actually

[clayts450]

Got my first ever parking ticket today, dispatched by the Council. Looks like the twat with the hat got me a on a technicality even though there was nary a line nor sign to be seen anywhere close - parked up on a raised bit of road which happened to be the same level as the adjacent footpath (as had everyone else parked in front of me). Fair cop, guv, and £35 into the Council's Christmas party fund. Bit gutted though as I've always been a considerate parker and recognised there was plenty of pavement for peddies on the other side of the road.

 

Going back to parking on the road where I and many others can freely park with one set of wheels on the path and one on the road to ensure emergency vehicles can get past, cos thankfully Nottingham haven't gone all London on our asses yet. I'm sure as soon as they sniff the money they'll be on it like a tramp on chips.

[clayts450]

Woah hang on I was a wanker on a train today actually

 

Bet you barged to the front of the queue at the booking office knocking old ladies, nuns, kittens and childrens aside, cos BMW.

[Pillock]

I can't agree. I love watching people who have no understanding of the word average. I quite enjoy sailing through roadworks at a sat nav 52/53. Apart from arsehole tailgating truck when you have no where to go. They can piss right off.

 

I was talking to someone at work about this and they assumed it just averages all the results, so if you go through one camera at 60 then you just need to hit the next one at 40 to average 50mph. They were fairly new to driving though so I assume they'll get a little written explanation in the post at some point. I tried my best but they clearly knew better.

[richardmorris]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K2b5S3bafM

Reminded me how much I like it - my dad seemingly had loads of their records when I was young. Plus the war of the worlds.

[dollywobbler]

I tried my best but they clearly knew better.

 

Ah yes. Reminds me of when I worked in an office. Colleague buys a Rover 416 HHR saloon. "Watch for the head gasket," I say. "Oh, I don't need to worry," says colleague. "It's a 1.6 so it's the Honda engine." "Er, no, it really isn't." "No, it is. The garage told me you can tell by the rev counter." WTF?

 

The entirely expected occurred about two weeks later. I was running an entirely reliable shitty Maestro 1.3L at the time. I tried not to giggle.

[richardmorris]

Ah yes. Reminds me of when I worked in an office. Colleague buys a Rover 416 HHR saloon. "Watch for the head gasket," I say. "Oh, I don't need to worry," says colleague. "It's a 1.6 so it's the Honda engine." "Er, no, it really isn't." "No, it is. The garage told me you can tell by the rev counter." WTF?

 

The entirely expected occurred about two weeks later. I was running an entirely reliable shitty Maestro 1.3L at the time. I tried not to giggle.

 

I said the same to a lady friend of mine with a very low mileage MGF. Keep an eye on the coolant level I said. Oh it’s fine, it’s low mileage she said. Next I heard of it she’d had a fail to proceed and a lot of work needed with the usual.

[Pillock]

"It's a 1.6 so it's the Honda engine." "Er, no, it really isn't." "No, it is. The garage told me you can tell by the rev counter." WTF?

 

 

Actually, you can tell by the rev counter.

 

If it goes past 3000 without steam obscuring your view of it, it's a Honda engine.

[Noel Tidybeard]

Got my first ever parking ticket today, dispatched by the Council. Looks like the twat with the hat got me a on a technicality even though there was nary a line nor sign to be seen anywhere close - parked up on a raised bit of road which happened to be the same level as the adjacent footpath (as had everyone else parked in front of me). Fair cop, guv, and £35 into the Council's Christmas party fund. Bit gutted though as I've always been a considerate parker and recognised there was plenty of pavement for peddies on the other side of the road.

 

Going back to parking on the road where I and many others can freely park with one set of wheels on the path and one on the road to ensure emergency vehicles can get past, cos thankfully Nottingham haven't gone all London on our asses yet. I'm sure as soon as they sniff the money they'll be on it like a tramp on chips.

 

 

challenge it- take a bunch of pix to illustrate lack of signage

[DodgeRover]

GET THE BUILDERS IN! 

 

Shits sake, we are literally sitting around all day because the delicate office staff can't have any noise greater than footsteps... even though their cackling hurts my ears. All our work has to wait until 6.30pm! Dumped right in the middle of a nest of precious, entitled little flowers. Ok, I'm being paid a fucking fortune to do it but what a waste of time! 

 

Need any chippies? I could do that and my normal day

[richardmorris]

Need any chippies? I could do that and my normal day

 

They could possibly be being bloody minded like me. New neighbours at work, their planning specifically says no phone or WiFi needed. BUT now want a phone line across our celing, requiring several hours of inconvenience. Do i moan or report them to surrey heath BC?

[somewhatfoolish]

Exactly. One day there will be no petrol and all these cars will be useless. Drive it, get it covered in shit, wash it, repeat.

 

According to *all news media that appears to be the 29th of March; there was no specific mention of petrol but given the general air of doom, pending apocalypse, etc. I assume Beelzebub will be attending with associated imps, goblins and other affiliated servants of OMGKAOS, and that petrol will be rationed exclusively for use in *cocktails by those manning the barricades and those assailing them.

[chaseracer]

According to *all news media that appears to be the 29th of March; there was no specific mention of petrol but given the general air of doom, pending apocalypse, etc. I assume Beelzebub will be attending with associated imps, goblins and other affiliated servants of OMGKAOS, and that petrol will be rationed exclusively for use in *cocktails by those manning the barricades and those assailing them.

 

Vyacheslav Mikhailovich Skryabin approves this message... 

 

[somewhatfoolish]

As I recall from my patchy grasp of mid-20th century doings it was the Finns who got the best VALU from his namesake, although in the end the *glorious worker's paradise held sway and relieved them of the burden of living in Karelia.

[LightBulbFun]

Exactly. One day there will be no petrol and all these cars will be useless. Drive it, get it covered in shit, wash it, repeat.

 

 

According to *all news media that appears to be the 29th of March; there was no specific mention of petrol but given the general air of doom, pending apocalypse, etc. I assume Beelzebub will be attending with associated imps, goblins and other affiliated servants of OMGKAOS, and that petrol will be rationed exclusively for use in *cocktails by those manning the barricades and those assailing them.

 

thats reminds me of how, when I was small I remember reading about how "WE MUST FOCUS ON MAKING CARS THAT GET OMGMPGS OR WE WILL RUN OUT OF LIQUID DINOSAUR IN 5 YEARS!!!"

 

these days I dont hear about that instead its OMG we must make sure nothing comes out of the pipe at the back to protect* the environment, did we suddenly find more Liquid dinosaur? LOL

[cort1977]

did we suddenly find more Liquid dinosaur? LOL

 

Well yes actually, lots and lots of 'em.

[HillmanImp]

I'm gonna get one of those petrol extraction pumps like Lee Majors used in The Last Chase.

 

[somewhatfoolish]

Well yes actually, lots and lots of 'em.

Broadly speaking the *evil oil barons have a thing called a business plan, which keeps shareholders happy by planning where oil is coming from up to about *20 years ahead. This is why modern history is filled with stupid people repeatedly pointing at proven reserves data and going 'ZOMG! Oil runs out in *20 years!'. Fringe thinking like abiotic oil theory aside, price will drive provision of alternatives long before it actually runs out.

 

 

 

 

*Actual number may vary.

[ruffgeezer]

Puncture on the freelander now too.

 

What a cuntbubble of a week this is turning out to be.