The grumpy thread

[Crispian_J_Hotson]

I find those notices in toilets an irritating pain in the arse...

 

'please leave these facilities as you would wish to find them'.

 

I can't. The tiling is the wrong colour, soap wrong flavour, maybe I would have added some deep pile carpet... It would cost a bloody fortune to change the decor in every toilet I went in. But...

 

'please leave THE CONDITION OF these facilities as you would wish to find them'.

 

...makes everything ok.

[cort16]

Imagine you finish work at lunchtime at go out for a few drinks . Now imagine you drink 6 pints and two double whiskys in 3 hours having not much to eat then going to bed at 8pm. Imagine you should know better. Now imagine waking up and spewing all over the bedroom carpet . Now imagine your daughter getting wakend up as your wife angrily shouts at you because you’ve spewed all over her freshly decorated chest of drawers. Now imagine your wife angrily standing over you and your daughter crying while you try to clean up sick with a dustpan and brush.

 

Just imagine

 

Happy Christmas everyone

[New POD]

Imagine you finish work at lunchtime at go out for a few drinks . Now imagine you drink 6 pints and two double whiskys in 3 hours having not much to eat then going to bed at 8pm. Imagine you should know better. Now imagine waking up and spewing all over the bedroom carpet . Now imagine your daughter getting wakend up as your wife angrily shouts at you because you’ve spewed all over her freshly decorated chest of drawers. Now imagine your wife angrily standing over you and your daughter crying while you try to clean up sick with a dustpan and brush.

 

Just imagine

 

Happy Christmas everyone

Yes imagine.

 

It's okay.

 

It's a life lesson for your daughter about the evils of drink/men/marriage and will ensure that she's emotionally fecked into adulthood.

 

She'll have no respect for you ever again. Your wife will see to that.

 

It's not surprising that suicide rates increase as men get older.

 

Yesterday I was chastised because i misunderstood my wife's concerns and relayed them to my sister in law in passing who took it completely out of context and told my wife that I was lying about her mental state. Apparently I'd implied she was a nut job.

Their then followed 40 minutes where she threatened divorce.

Anyway I'm reading a book called Irritable Man Syndrome

There's a survey in it with 50 questions about your behaviours.

Apparently I've got IMS and am also probably clinically depressed. I should see someone. I don't think that would help. I have no intention of having an affair.

[busmansholiday]

Talking of bogs where I work has a 'phantom floor pisser'.

 

Quite often you'd need wellies to get within 3ft of the bog without getting wet feet.

I know of an incident in a newly refurbished set of company toilets where some numbskull thought the new style Dyson hand drier was a modern urinal.....

[cort16]

My wife’s taken it quite well all things and the amount of sick considered.

My daughter is having her revenge by jumping on my head this morning .

[fordperv]

I used to work in a car parts shop and on my first day one of the lads was showing me around, then we got to the loo, as we approached it he told me it was called the lost bog, they didnt know it was there when the shop first opened and they were horrified upon finding it but it was handy if you were desperate for a slash, it resembled the toilet from train spotting but 27.5 times worse, it was horrible, it rained in so if it was raining you couldn't put the light on without risking death, i don't think anyone was brave enough to go in there for a dump, i used to pop around next door to the garage for a number 2 it was of royal standards in comparison

[sierraman]

Imagine you finish work at lunchtime at go out for a few drinks . Now imagine you drink 6 pints and two double whiskys in 3 hours having not much to eat then going to bed at 8pm. Imagine you should know better. Now imagine waking up and spewing all over the bedroom carpet . Now imagine your daughter getting wakend up as your wife angrily shouts at you because you’ve spewed all over her freshly decorated chest of drawers. Now imagine your wife angrily standing over you and your daughter crying while you try to clean up sick with a dustpan and brush.

 

Just imagine

 

Happy Christmas everyone

I was like this the other weekend. A four hour stint in the pub then a Chinese. The day after I just felt horrific. I haven’t got the capacity any more for heavy drinking. I try to limit myself to 4 or 5 pints now, can’t deal with the hangovers.

[cort16]

I’m reasonably hard core but I think it was the compressed nature of it that did it for me. I don’t think I’ve been physical sick with drink in about 10 years .

[New POD]

My wife’s taken it quite well all things and the amount of sick considered.

My daughter is having her revenge by jumping on my head this morning .

Kids. No respect for the old. None.

[Rod/b]

I used to work in a car parts shop and on my first day one of the lads was showing me around, then we got to the loo, as we approached it he told me it was called the lost bog, they didnt know it was there when the shop first opened and they were horrified upon finding it but it was handy if you were desperate for a slash, it resembled the toilet from train spotting but 27.5 times worse, it was horrible, it rained in so if it was raining you couldn't put the light on without risking death, i don't think anyone was brave enough to go in there for a dump, i used to pop around next door to the garage for a number 2 it was of royal standards in comparison

Mate of mine has a warehouse where he keeps his Testarossa and a few other toys. It’s kept absolutely spotless for the most part, BUT.... The bog in there is like the one out of Trainspotting, it is fucking horrendous.

[cort16]

We were talking about this at work yesterday . Apparently in an organisation of greater then 80 people every few years someone will lose the plot and smear their own poop all over the toilet walls.

[Guest Hooli]

We were talking about this at work yesterday . Apparently in an organisation of greater then 80 people every few years someone will lose the plot and smear their own poop all over the toilet walls.

There are 19 men in the building I work in. I recall shit on the walls approx once a year on average. It doesn't even coincide with people leaving....

[LightBulbFun]

all this shit talking aside

 

I finally passed out at 5:40AM only to get waken up by the post man for someone elses parcel at 9AM, and then discovered the Halogen bulb I fitted to the ceiling rose light in my room on the 5th of December has already burnt out so it lasted a grand total of 17 days in 24/7 operation thats only 408 Hours... 

 

 

*grumble*

[somewhatfoolish]

Imagine you finish work at lunchtime at go out for a few drinks . Now imagine you drink 6 pints and two double whiskys in 3 hours having not much to eat then going to bed at 8pm. Imagine you should know better. Now imagine waking up and spewing all over the bedroom carpet . Now imagine your daughter getting wakend up as your wife angrily shouts at you because you’ve spewed all over her freshly decorated chest of drawers. Now imagine your wife angrily standing over you and your daughter crying while you try to clean up sick with a dustpan and brush.

 

Just imagine

 

Happy Christmas everyone

 

Impressively (ludicrously) high landing speeds and appalling deep stall characteristics too. I flew on an MD-80 from DFW to Vegas and was fairly happy when on the return leg it was broken so they replaced it with a 737

 

Mind you, it was still the scariest flight of my life, I’m not a nervous flyer but that was turbulence on a scale I’ve not experienced before or since

 

Unrecoverable(at low altitude anyway) deep stall unpleasantness is a 'feature' of T-tails, they all do it.

[Guest Hooli]

Three day ban on FB for posting a humourous snowman. The mods there are worse than one here.

[Parky]

I am in Sainsbury’s. most of Thurrock is here, it’s a shit show.

 

Apologies to my gender but seriously guys this is not the day for aimlessly wandering about getting in the way. Think this is the one day a year most husbands are in here

[tooSavvy]

We were talking about this at work yesterday . Apparently in an organisation of greater then 80 people every few years someone will lose the plot and smear their own poop all over the toilet walls.

.... Well, at least you got to bed UNDER the Blanket

[Parky]

If nothing else the trip increased the c*nt count significantly.

 

I mean just look at this cunt

[Sheefag]

Three day ban on FB for posting a humourous snowman. The mods there are worse than one here.

 

Just one of the many reasons I have five different Facebook accounts.

[MikeR]

at work years ago , we had a toilet blocker we called Mr Log .......

 

he would leave a lurker that would take days to shift ..

 

we never did find out who it was ...

[LightBulbFun]

If nothing else the trip increased the c*nt count significantly.

 

I mean just look at this cunt

 

thats spectacularly bad, I wonder if he/she/it was still sloshed from a night out beforehand?

[omegod]

I sank numerous pints last night then a few vodkas until 1 am, 8am this morning I blew 0.00 on the borrowed from work alcometer, surprised to say the least!  

[Tadhg Tiogar]

I sank numerous pints last night then a few vodkas until 1 am, 8am this morning I blew 0.00 on the borrowed from work alcometer, surprised to say the least!

A couple of weekends back, I drank a full bottle of Freixenet unassisted. Expected a bit of dizziness the morning after but... nothing!

[angle]

Sometimes I just fucking despair.

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Sometimes I just fucking despair.

Yes, an Audi driver actually indicating.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....that he's going to the right. Bet the repeater on the right wing works as well.

[bramz7]

Yet again I've begun to lose faith with certain people on here. Sold a 'car' to someone on here a few months ago. Lost the trader part of the V5 they gave me, asked them to do the bit online with the remainder they had.

 

No response.

 

 

Asked again a few months later, as I was still being charged for the tax, and got an uninsured vehicle letter from the MID. No help.

 

Now have a £100 fine from the DVLA due to a non insured vehicle.

 

Fuck this.

[chaseracer]

Three day ban on FB for posting a humourous snowman. The mods there are worse than one here.

 

And a Happy Christmas to you too, Andrew 

[dozeydustman]

RantingYoof's descriptions of people's toilet habits is one of the funniest things I have read for a long time.

 

Unusually I have nothing to gripe about today, which is making me a little vexed

[ruffgeezer]

Yet again I've begun to lose faith with certain people on here. Sold a 'car' to someone on here a few months ago. Lost the trader part of the V5 they gave me, asked them to do the bit online with the remainder they had.

 

No response.

 

 

Asked again a few months later, as I was still being charged for the tax, and got an uninsured vehicle letter from the MID. No help.

 

Now have a £100 fine from the DVLA due to a non insured vehicle.

 

Fuck this.

 

 

Who was it, for those selling to avoid a similar circumstance?

[dozeydustman]

Bramz, do you have any proof of sale of this car? I had a massive row with the DVLA when I transferred the Focus to my brother as they'd not updated their records after I sent the V5 by recorded post (I knew it was received & signed for).

 

Thankfully my brother kept the new keeper's supplement and we between us sent off a copy of the receipts and his green slip and the untaxed notices etc I was receiving were revoked and a parking fine wavered.

 

Maybe send the naughty shiter a PM telling them they've fucked up.