The grumpy thread

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Bit teary this morning. Been up since 1.30. Combination of steroids, depression, and sleep deprivation catching up with me.

 

Lots of stress at the moment. Work is shit, finances shit, car is broken, can’t catch a break of any kind. Currently locked in a battle with a previous employer over money owed to me which they are steadfastly refusing to pay in blatant breach of contract but don’t have the wherewithal to fight it legally. Plus if I did I would become unemployable as would have a reputation which isn’t valued in my industry.

 

More than anything it’s my Daughters 17th today. I find myself looking at a pic of me and her on the day she was born. Back then we had no idea she would develop autism. This beautiful little girl sleeping in her beaming fathers arms, his head and heart so full of plans, dreams and ambitions, many of which vanished in a puff of smoke when her diagnosis was confirmed. Looking at me, young successful chap with a bright future ahead and that’s all gone too. Now I am a mid forties chap who loses out to the mid thirties chap in every interview. Basically feel like I am on the scrap heap at 45!

 

Maybe it’s time to give up and sell up, move in with my parents in law in NZ and start again from scratch. Again

 

Looking at my industry peers from 20 years ago, every single one is doing better than me. None of them are any better than me, or have done anything different to me, it just seems to come down to luck. And despite my usual optimistic demeanour I am starting to realise that maybe, just maybe I am extremely unlucky or extremely useless. And I know Mrs P looks at them too and wonders why they have such nice cars and houses and we don’t. And I can’t help but feel I have let her down too. And it’s the thought that all the shitty things that have happened to me could somehow be my fault and I am ruining other lives is really dragging my remaining self esteem downwards.

 

Depression is shit. It can get in the fucking sea.

 

I’ll be alright, I will straighten my head up in a bit and batten down the hatches and crack on. Because I have to. And when my daughter wakes up I don’t want her seeing Dad in a state, not on her birthday.

 

 

Hello mate.

 

Sounds like you're in a pretty bad way.

 

Thing is, that you have a wife and children that love you.  You've met huge challenges bringing up a daughter with autism (and by the sounds of it, it's severe) and you've fought her corner tooth and nail before.  I remember you mentioning her in the DWP thread.  That takes balls and no small amount of love, time, stress and effort.

 

You have every right to feel proud about what you've done.

 

I know me saying that makes sod all difference to how you're going to feel reading this (if you choose to) but ultimately you've put in some seriously hard hours with her that others couldn't have done - and that's because you're a good guy that loves your family.

[New POD]

Sorry to recite the oft quoted Mary Schmich.

 

"Don't waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself."

 

Everyone's fighting their own battles. The guy with the big house might wish he could fill it with children, but can't. The couple who had the expensive holiday might well be fighting to save their marriage. And so on.

 

In the end, 'stuff' doesn't matter. When your sat in your arm chair at 90, it's the laughs you'll remember.

 

Keep swimming, mate. x

at a risk of agreeing with any one on the internet or sounding like one of those shit posters "Work Harder not Smarter"

I'd like to add

 

Happiness comes from wanting what you've got.

 

Live every week as if you have a couple of weeks left.

[SierraMikeHotel]

Parky mate,

 

Depression is really, really shit. I don't have any helpful words of wisdom except to say that I'm rooting for you. Things will get better.

 

I hope you have someone to talk to in real life but we're available here too.

[Snipes]

Parky. GP. Now.

 

My own grump is having both door mirrors taken out within 3 days in completely different circumstances. I've already spent £360 on this car this month!

[Mr A Lawrence]

was gonna post about how disappointed i am with england's failure to reach the world cup final but then read parky's post.

 

kinda pales into insignificance doesn't it?

 

as rusty sills says GP NOW!!

 

hope you get some help parky.

[chaseracer]

Parky. GP. Now.

 

This.  As an 'emergency' appointment.

 

Talking with a bunch of beige m8s on the interwebz is helpful, but...

[Parky]

Guys, thanks for the concern and the PM’s. I am ok, I have been here many many times and if nothing else I do realise it is always darkest before the dawn. It had been a very very long night, lack of sleep, stress, and general depression combined with sitting alone in the dark at 2am isn’t good for the soul.

 

Depressive illness, the curse of the strong by Dr Tim Cantopher helps me. As he says

 

“Think about it, give a set of stresses to someone who is weak, cynical, or lazy and he will quickly give up, so he never gets stressed enough to become ill. A strong person on the other hand will react to pressures by trying to overcome them. After all they have overcome every challenge in the past and people expect them to continue doing so. So they keep going, symptoms develop and at this point most people would say “hang on, this is too much, others will need to help as it’s time for them to pull their weight” so they pull back from the brink. But a sensitive person without a solid sense of self esteem can’t stop struggling because they fear others will be disappointed in them. Even more so, they fear being disappointed in themselves until one day BANG! The fuse blows”

 

“You should not be ashamed to have contracted this illness. You have it because you are too strong and are in good company. It’s the affliction of the good and the great, such as these -Oliver Cromwell, Abraham Lincoln, Isaac Newton, Edgar Allan Poe, Beethoven, Van Gogh, Churchill, Hemingway, Evelyn Waugh and Tony Hancock”

 

If I am allowed to swear a little, the black dog of depression is an absolute bastard, it really is. And as you can’t see it, you get treated with zero sympathy unless folk know you are struggling. And if you tell folk you have issues, they frequently have no idea how to react and you end up ostracised from your social network.

 

Or say stuff like “worse things happen at sea”. Yes they do but apologies for my selfishness but If I start worrying about Captain Birdseye and the prevailing weather patterns around his ship, that’s another thing for me to worry about when I need weights off my shoulders!

 

So as a result you say nothing until one day the fuse blows. We don’t want to go there. There is lots of coverage of mental illness these days which is great but it’s still a big no-no in certain places. I worked for a large Bank, was doing fine until the black dog started barking. Performance fell away, concentration gone, and i explained to them what was happening and asked for help. Their help consisted of putting me on a personal improvement plan which was impossible to meet and a referral to the company psychiatrist. This generated a report stating I should be given three months off and a phased return to work, but it was easier to make me redundant instead. So they did. I can tell you that didn’t help at all. And when I see their LinkedIn updates explaining how the mental health of their staff is so important I want to fucking scream.

 

Now the suns up and life is happening I do feel a little better. Not exactly perfect but after last night today is about survival. Will get something nice to eat, do some work, visit my mum and dad for a cuppa, then come home to make dinner. Just having a few tasks to aim at gives me a bit of structure for today, I will worry about tomorrow when it comes. Today the mask of normality goes on.

[Volksy]

Could you not write CERN a letter and ask them if they would let a stoned bloke in a Citroen VISA borrow their hadron collider for ten minutes?

 

Funnily enough, a mutual freinds father is one of the senior science bods working with the Hadron Collider...

[Jon]

OK, in stark contrast, let's have a grump from me about an evening out I've just had. In no way am I comparing this diatribe of minor annoyance with the issues Parky has at the moment, so apologies if this seems ultra glib. 

 

Anyway, the reason I'm posting right now is because, against my better judgement I accompanied Mrs_Jon to the cinema tonight to go and see a video of Muse during their Drones tour from 2 years ago and it's showing in selected cinemas worldwide at 8pm on Thursday the 12th, so hopefully I can offer a glimpse from the future and you can save the effort of wasting some time and money, had you been interested in attending this mediocre event. Hoping against hope that it wouldn't be as thunderously turd as it sounds, I was sadly correct in my preconceptions.

 

First of all, nothing to do with the production, rather people's regimented need to absolutely HAVE to sit in the seat they've been allocated. The seats were at best 20% occupied at the couple to my right had left a courtesy one seat gap but the nobbers who arrived late asked them to shift along one, so we could all bunch together, with 8 seats or so either side of the 6 of us. The delicious irony of us watching a film titled 'Drones'! 

 

Then the 'film' starts and immediately the cameras pan along a crowd, 90% of whom have their phones on recording. Just enjoy the flipping live concert, they're filming it FFS!

 

However, having said that, yes they are filming the concert(s) (it's a medley of a few performances) but the images were shockingly bad - I mean, shot on an iphone 4 bad, at certain parts. Perfectly acceptable to be shown on Facebook but it looked awful on the big screen and then I found myself becoming transfixed and looking at faces seemingly rendered in Microsoft Paint, rather than just kicking back and enjoying the show. That said, in order to liven up the imagery, the editor felt the need to cut literally every second or so in most parts and many of them were shot close-up on the move, whilst the circular stage spun the other way, which made me start feeling ill, as my eyes darted about. Seriously, a 3 second static shot was virtually non-existent. I gave up at one point and just shut my eyes, to give them a rest. Thankfully, it's a little over 80 minutes long, so small mercies and all that.

 

Mrs_Jon had a great time, so definitely not an evening wasted on her part. The main issue I had was how old and crap I felt, watching a band I've seen live a couple of times and thoroughly enjoyed. That said, the Drones album is a bit lame compared to earlier efforts, so it was a losing battle tbh.

 

In short, don't go and see it, it's bloody awful. 

[GrumpiusMaximus]

To be fair, the last good Muse album was in 2003... so...

[HillmanImp]

Could you not write CERN a letter and ask them if they would let a stoned bloke in a Citroen VISA borrow their hadron collider for ten minutes?

 

TBH, I wouldn't be stoned anymore. Operating the Hadron collider would probably be less involved than it would for me to get any sort of drugs. Their mathematical equations probably have less numbers in them than all the phone calls I would have to make.

 

 

Funnily enough, a mutual freinds father is one of the senior science bods working with the Hadron Collider...

 

 

Oh yeah, forgot about that. Our mutual friend might be able to help me out getting some weed for when I'm there too.... When are we setting off?

[pompei]

Parky, I have been an on-off sufferer since my teens and have had countless CBT sessions over the years.  A few years ago, I was advised by a psychiatrist to read The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters.  I was also having TMS treatment at the time. The combination of these probably did more to keep the dreaded black dog at bay than any other interventions I have had before and after.  The book will not be a silver bullet but it altered my perceptions and patterns of thinking/feeling for a while.  I am just about to re-read it as I am also in a pretty dark space at the moment.

 

Good luck.

[HillmanImp]

Looking at my industry peers from 20 years ago, every single one is doing better than me. None of them are any better than me, or have done anything different to me, it just seems to come down to luck. And despite my usual optimistic demeanour I am starting to realise that maybe, just maybe I am extremely unlucky or extremely useless. And I know Mrs P looks at them too and wonders why they have such nice cars and houses and we don’t. And I can’t help but feel I have let her down too.

 

 

However, I honestly have to say that 80% of the people who I used to work with that are now in the well paid jobs are absolutely useless feckers.

 

In my experience there are 2 ways to get career progression.

 

The first is to suck managers cocks (or tits) and shit on everyone around you just to make yourself look good. People who use terms like 'Blue sky thinking' and 'thought shower' etc who spend more time trying to look good in meetings than actually doing actual work.

 

The second is to go into a job fuck it up for 2 years and then leave when it gets such a mess that they have to go and they move somewhere else. Instead of staying in a job for and getting promoted on merit they simply move into jobs that other useless twats have been pushed from until they too are pushed due to accidentally setting up and 'A.R.S.E' system not an 'E.L.B.O.W' one.

 

It's employers faults for not promoting within but if the Circus is looking for someone and they see a CV says that they have experience of juggling 20 chainsaws on fire whilst riding a motorbike, they think it's much easier to hire this person than train the trapeze artist to do it. What they don't know is that the chainsaws set fire to the tent last time and amputated the lion tamer arm and killed a sealion. But the new employer doesn't know this as you need to have intentionally slaughtered every single clown in the tiny car to get sacked these days, you just leave by mutual consent instead if you are shit and move somewhere else to fuck that up too.

 

I'm quite happy with what I do. If I had adopted either of the above strategies I'd probably be lord lieutenant of the world by now judging my skills to those that I've worked with in the past. I'm happy to just get on with my job properly and do it as well as possible. I just keep out the way of twats and it suits me fine. They can keep their BMWs TBH, I'm happy on a wage I can live on and a relatively hassle free worklife.

[Supernaut]

career-planning-humor.jpg

 

However, I honestly have to say that 80% of the people who I used to work with that are now in the well paid jobs are absolutely useless feckers.

 

In my experience there are 2 ways to get career progression.

 

The first is to suck managers cocks (or tits) and shit on everyone around you just to make yourself look good. People who use terms like 'Blue sky thinking' and 'thought shower' etc who spend more time trying to look good in meetings than actually doing actual work.

 

The second is to go into a job fuck it up for 2 years and then leave when it gets such a mess that they have to go and they move somewhere else. Instead of staying in a job for and getting promoted on merit they simply move into jobs that other useless twats have been pushed from until they too are pushed due to accidentally setting up and 'A.R.S.E' system not an 'E.L.B.O.W' one.

 

It's employers faults for not promoting within but if the Circus is looking for someone and they see a CV says that they have experience of juggling 20 chainsaws on fire whilst riding a motorbike, they think it's much easier to hire this person than train the trapeze artist to do it. What they don't know is that the chainsaws set fire to the tent last time and amputated the lion tamer arm and killed a sealion. But the new employer doesn't know this as you need to have intentionally slaughtered every single clown in the tiny car to get sacked these days, you just leave by mutual consent instead if you are shit and move somewhere else to fuck that up too.

 

I'm quite happy with what I do. If I had adopted either of the above strategies I'd probably be lord lieutenant of the world by now judging my skills to those that I've worked with in the past. I'm happy to just get on with my job properly and do it as well as possible. I just keep out the way of twats and it suits me fine. They can keep their BMWs TBH, I'm happy on a wage I can live on and a relatively hassle free worklife.

I'm just annoyed because I'm not really on a salary I can live on, and yet I still somehow have a BMW! (Ok, a rather ropey old one).

 

 

But yes, useless feckers being in positions of money and power is exactly how it is where I work, too.

[Guest Hooli]

career-planning-humor.jpg

 

However, I honestly have to say that 80% of the people who I used to work with that are now in the well paid jobs are absolutely useless feckers.

 

In my experience there are 2 ways to get career progression.

 

The first is to suck managers cocks (or tits) and shit on everyone around you just to make yourself look good. People who use terms like 'Blue sky thinking' and 'thought shower' etc who spend more time trying to look good in meetings than actually doing actual work.

 

The second is to go into a job fuck it up for 2 years and then leave when it gets such a mess that they have to go and they move somewhere else. Instead of staying in a job for and getting promoted on merit they simply move into jobs that other useless twats have been pushed from until they too are pushed due to accidentally setting up and 'A.R.S.E' system not an 'E.L.B.O.W' one.

 

It's employers faults for not promoting within but if the Circus is looking for someone and they see a CV says that they have experience of juggling 20 chainsaws on fire whilst riding a motorbike, they think it's much easier to hire this person than train the trapeze artist to do it. What they don't know is that the chainsaws set fire to the tent last time and amputated the lion tamer arm and killed a sealion. But the new employer doesn't know this as you need to have intentionally slaughtered every single clown in the tiny car to get sacked these days, you just leave by mutual consent instead if you are shit and move somewhere else to fuck that up too.

 

I'm quite happy with what I do. If I had adopted either of the above strategies I'd probably be lord lieutenant of the world by now judging my skills to those that I've worked with in the past. I'm happy to just get on with my job properly and do it as well as possible. I just keep out the way of twats and it suits me fine. They can keep their BMWs TBH, I'm happy on a wage I can live on and a relatively hassle free worklife.

 

That is amazingly true to life!

[Cavcraft]

Part of the reason (some) phones are shit is because the service providers know when your contract is up, so the ‘update IOS’ messages start. Obvs like once you’ve updated your phone, the battery life is on par with a terminally ill daddy long legs that’s floating towards a flat out intercity train.

[Cavcraft]

Ps, regarding ‘career progression’ then don’t bother. They only take on arsewipes to supposedly better positions in the company, so it’s pointless.

Having worked for the last 35 odd years in various companies I’ve never actually had a career, just a job. It’s actually mostly brilliant because I couldn’t give a flying fuck about how the firm is doing financially or whatever. Don’t want to see people lose jobs, but equally couldn’t care less about the actual company.

[Wack]

Do tell how you get on with the jailbreak, I was gifted a 4S some years ago but have never allowed it to update as I was, as it turns out, rightly suspicious. The result is that it's only any good for making calls and taking pictures, so far that's all I've wanted from it but lately tried to use Whatsap but no dice, would be nice to do that and treat myself to a Crazy Frog ringtone. 

 

 

I was telling a mate how good WAZE is as a satnav so he tried it but said it was shit , went to Oxford and it stopped navigating on the ring road , just said you've arrived, we were miles away, good job I had the tomtom WAZE is crap

 

Then I found out he was using it an an iPhone 4 , i'm surprised it even installed

[Wack]

That is amazingly true to life!

 

 

My dad was a foreman in a shoe factory who never progressed because whenever they asked him to attend a management meeting he told them everything they didn't want to hear about why the company was losing money, he did however in a roundabout way save them some money, they used a lot of belt sanding sheets on the various machines so he got a better price for ordering in bulk so he ordered 1000 instead of the usual 100

 

When the order came he signed for it , stood there watching them unload it thinking that's a lot of boxes but they all fitted in the warehouse so thought no more of it

 

A month later the accountant came down and asked about the bill for these sanding sheets as it was a lot more than normal , yes I upped the order to get a better price, and showed him the discount email he'd got so the accountant went away happy

 

It was only later that day he went and took another look at the delivery note, he'd ordered 10,000 , he retired 10 years later and they were still using them

[dave21478]

I want/need a new car - I have an envelope full of cash ready, but fuck me, there is literally nothing of interest to me anywhere. Im not helped by the fact that I dont really know what I want - it will replace the MGF, but not another 2 seater or cabrio. I would have a P38 but they are all fucked and I wont buy one blind unless its from a trusted shiter. I would have an HRV but there are none locally and its not interesting enough to travel to UK for. Aside from that...fuck knows what I want. I have a saved search on LeBonCoin which is all cars under my budget within about 250 miles and its just an endless sea of dross....206s and clios and other tedium.

 

I suppose this is a pretty minor grump in the grand scheme, but its bugging me.

 

 

This heat can do one too. Yes, I know its summer in the south of France so warm weather isnt a surprise, but its fucking unrelenting. There was no build-up to it either to acclimatise...the seasons now just flip a switch from "pishing down 24/7" to "scorchio" with nothing in between. And people think climate change isnt real?

[dozeydustman]

Parky - hang in there fella, it WILL pass, have a chat with someone and get it off your chest. Even a PM to someone on here, or a good friend outside of the world of shite. Maybe see your GP about counselling. I found taking up rugby after a few years away from the game was a good way to get frustrations off my chest - maybe find another pastime that isn't stressful (as owning shite cars can be) to keep your mind occupied.

 

My grump today is more sadness as opposed to grumpiness. One of my work colleagues was killed a couple of weeks ago in an RTA. His funeral was this afternoon. He was 17 and loved the job. Fare thee well, Angus.

[Wack]

My grump today is more sadness as opposed to grumpiness. One of my work colleagues was killed a couple of weeks ago in an RTA. His funeral was this afternoon. He was 17 and loved the job. Fare thee well, Angus.

 

I'm sorry to read that, it's so sad when someone that young loses their life , RIP Angus

[nebuchenezer]

That is the second Angus I've heard of dying this week.

 

My name is Angus

 

I are mildly perturberd

 

Condolances.

Parky - hang in there fella, it WILL pass, have a chat with someone and get it off your chest. Even a PM to someone on here, or a good friend outside of the world of shite. Maybe see your GP about counselling. I found taking up rugby after a few years away from the game was a good way to get frustrations off my chest - maybe find another pastime that isn't stressful (as owning shite cars can be) to keep your mind occupied.

 

My grump today is more sadness as opposed to grumpiness. One of my work colleagues was killed a couple of weeks ago in an RTA. His funeral was this afternoon. He was 17 and loved the job. Fare thee well, Angus.

[nebuchenezer]

Parky - hang in there fella, it WILL pass, have a chat with someone and get it off your chest. Even a PM to someone on here, or a good friend outside of the world of shite. Maybe see your GP about counselling. I found taking up rugby after a few years away from the game was a good way to get frustrations off my chest - maybe find another pastime that isn't stressful (as owning shite cars can be) to keep your mind occupied.

 

This

[New POD]

I'm sorry to read that, it's so sad when someone that young loses their life , RIP Angus

 

I live my life in song lyrics.  I'm thinking something by Depeche Mode might be appropriate. Blasphemous Rumours. 

 

Ref :  I think God's got a sick sense of humour and when I die I expect to find him laughing 

[Parky]

And New Pod confirms superior taste in Basildon originated electro pop right there. That said I am not sure I am ready for the 12 inch version of Blasphemous Rumours today, that’ll probably set me back a bit. Might give Radiohead a swerve too....

 

Just wanted to say i’ve limped through today and that’s largely thanks to messages and PM’s from you guys which gave me a bit of a booster when I needed it. Never been much of one for asking for help but pleased I vented earlier as have had some really supportive messages and advice from a few people here. Do feel a little better

 

Just wanted to thank everyone publically for the kind words and support. Especially as I am working from home at the mo, not having workmates about can be brilliant when all they do is talk about Love Island, but sometimes any interaction is better than none.

 

Cheers guys.

[fordperv]

Mrs fp got me a replacement rubber backing for my grinder so I can use sanding discs and within 10 seconds the thing destroyed itself, bits flew off at very high speed smashing me in the knee and the knuckles and it fucking hurt

 

Im glad i was wearing a full face mask, wouldn't fancy a bit of that in the mush

[Wack]

That is bad , where did she get it from

[SiC]

Spinning too fast?

[fordperv]

It was from EBay with some sanding discs, it was speed rated ok for the grinder I use for flatting welds, i only needed one because mine is mega worn