The grumpy thread

[alcyonecorporation]

Managed to get banned from a hand car wash last night without even trying. 

There's a place near where I live that's open until 8; I turn up at 7.15 and everyone comes out of the break cabin with a face like a smacked arse. They looked like they were ready to go home. 

Look, I've worked in retail and I know how irritating it is when some ding wallah turns up at 9.59 to do a full shop when you close at 10. Thing is, I turned up 45 minutes before closing time. 

One of the blokes washing the car was in a fucking foul mood; he screamed at me because I hadn't moved the car quite fully forward. The doors on the Leonard lock automatically and he nearly tears the handle off trying to open the door asking me whether or not the inside needed doing. 

Right at the end, his colleague passes me some change through the nearside window and I move over to the end of the bay where cars sit two abreast to be leathered off. 

I'm putting the change in my wallet and I hear something behind the car along the lines of 'Fucking well move!'. He decided I hadn't quite moved forward enough despite the fact I'm level with the car next to me. There are no cars behind me. He slaps the tailgate so hard the whole car shakes. 

At that point I've had enough, and get out to ask him what the fuck his problem is. The place isn't busy, he's acted like a moody twat the entire time I've been there, and he hit the car so hard he nearly punched through the glass. There's a massive, ugly smear of a handprint on across the heating elements. 

"Right, was there any need for that?" I ask. 

He mumbles something and then strides up: visibly pissed off, he almost squares up to me. He's a lot taller and way more built than I am.  His colleagues begin to stare at us. 

"Go home, mate, your attitude stinks" I say. 

'You, get out, you're barred, stop threatening my staff, ' says someone who sticks their neck out of a Portakabin. I assume they were the manager. 

There's six of them and one of me, so I get back in the car and drive off. 

What the fuck was that all about? I get that people have shit days at work, but what exactly did I do to deserve this? 

[sierraman]

Report them to HMRC, a lot of these car wash outfits are money launders. Probably why they weren't bending over backwards to actually wash your car.

[alcyonecorporation]

Report them to HMRC, a lot of these car wash outfits are money launders. Probably why they weren't bending over backwards to actually wash your car.

 

But they did wash my car. They couldn't have been less happy about it if they tried - but they did wash it. 

[dave21478]

Life is too short... time to find another carwash.

Or just lie low for a while then go back... unless you are a known regular, they will have forgotten in a couple of weeks.

[BorniteIdentity]

Entire kitchen due to arrive today. 30 or so units.  No text from company to say when it's coming as promised.  Wife phones up - "Sorry we don't have your number".  (Weird, I had a text immediately when I placed the order - it came through whilst I was still in the showroom)

 

Still, never mind.  "When's it coming?".

 

"Ah, well I'll have to speak to logistics" says her on the other end of the line.

 

(Double checks mobile number, double checks postcode)

 

"Well it's supposed to be delivered today, but it's not been put on the lorry"

 

"YTHO"

 

"Well it's not a guaranteed date"

 

"Weird - it says "Delivery Date" here"

 

"We make no guarantees"  We can deliver it on Saturday?"

 

"Yes - but can you though?"

 

"Yes, sir!"

 

"How do you know you can?"

 

"There's a space on Saturday that we can offer you"

 

"Did I not have a space today?"

 

"Yes, Sir"

 

"Ok - so why are we even?"

 

Blah blah Ts and Cs (Trust me - I write and copy check these for a living, theirs are an embarrassment and the best example of why "plain English" should be law I have ever seen)

 

 

So it's maybe coming Saturday.  Quite possibly.  Definitely a chance.

[BorniteIdentity]

"Go home, mate, your attitude stinks" I say. 

 

What the fuck was that all about?  what exactly did I do to deserve this? 

 

I dare say those first three words were probably not the best move.

[alcyonecorporation]

Life is too short... time to find another carwash.

Or just lie low for a while then go back... unless you are a known regular, they will have forgotten in a couple of weeks.

 

I'm reminded of that bit in Die Hard for some reason. 

 

Might just walk back in with an old jumper with 'HA HA HA NOW I HAVE A KARCHER C U LATER LIVELIHOOD' crudely daubed on it. 

 

I'd probably get the shit kicked out of me, but it'd be funny for a femtosecond. 

[Kiltox]

Who’s the supplier, Bornite?

[alcyonecorporation]

If it's Mark II I will laugh my arse off - for a variety of reasons. 

[MorrisItalSLX]

The weather has pulled an England

 

 

I can see my breath FFS!

[alcyonecorporation]

I dare say those first three words were probably not the best move.

 

10/10 for virtue signalling, would facepalm in front of again. 

[omegod]

This morning at 7 AM I began preparation for a colonoscopy by way of Nuclear strength laxative potions, nothing has happened as yet, it feels like knowing I'm going to get mugged in the next hour but not being quite sure when or where. Next dose is due at 11     

 

OH DEAR GOD !!! If I drank a litre of british racing green cellulose I think could repaint an e-type in 30 seconds       

[Guest Hooli]

Just think posh* rich people pay a fortune for a detox like that.

[dome]

image.jpeg

 

Funny you should say that, my second call today after the one to my insurance company who said I'll have to wait a week for an engineer to look at the Volvo to decide if it's repairable!!!!! Was from my mobile mechanic who had discovered he can only get backing plates from BMW at £50 odd each.

He's going to bodge the handbrake enough for MOT- it's an auto so it only needs to work once, the fact it's got a water leak combined with really needing all discs replacing means this could well end up on eBay , before very long.

 

I'm glad you're OK after the fire, that must've been scary.

 

I found backing plates for mine somewhere, I think I used realoem.com to get the part number and searched for it, eventually getting it on eBay. 

 

From memory my 2004 330d used a larger backing plate to the smaller engined models so watch out for that.

 

To fit these properly you need to remove the hub, it is apparently possible to but a slot in it and make it fit though.

 

Luckily* for me the wheel bearing went on mine on that side so I got the garage to do the bearing and backing plate at the same time. 

[BorniteIdentity]

 

10/10 for virtue signalling, would facepalm in front of again.

But of course. You’re the one telling migrant workers to “go home” - and I’m the bad guy.

 

It all makes sense.

 

Thanks for putting me straight. Much obliged.

[Ghosty]

Update: I has Brompton.

[ruffgeezer]

But of course. You’re the one telling migrant workers to “go home” - and I’m the bad guy.

 

It all makes sense.

 

Thanks for putting me straight. Much obliged.

Where does he say they were migrants or are you presuming that because they work in a carwash, they MUST be migrants?

[BorniteIdentity]

Where does he say they were migrants or are you presuming that because they work in a carwash, they MUST be migrants?

I assumed that when he said ‘go home’ he didn’t mean ‘head back to your four bedroom detached mock Tudor mansion in leafy suburbia that you pay for on less than minimum wage because your employer docks money from your pay for things like laundry and meals’

 

Glad to be able to clarify.

[ruffgeezer]

Ah, assumption to fit narrative. Gotcha.

[BorniteIdentity]

Ah, assumption to fit narrative. Gotcha.

Totally.

 

The Peterborough Car Wash was filled to bursting point with British Nationals working at 1930 hrs, and when AC said ‘go home’ he meant ‘shouldn’t you be back in Hampton Hargate by now, chap?’

 

Obviously.

[Supernaut]

Fucking hell!

 

It's usually winter when everybody starts having pops at each other, due to the shitty weather making outdoor activities impossible.

 

Stop it. Go fettle some chod.

[Guest Hooli]

Fucking hell!

 

It's usually winter when everybody starts having pops at each other, due to the shitty weather making outdoor activities impossible.

 

Stop it. Go fettle some chod.

 

 

Who asked you to chime in? Back in ya box lad

[alcyonecorporation]

Totally.

 

The Peterborough Car Wash was filled to bursting point with British Nationals working at 1930 hrs, and when AC said ‘go home’ he meant ‘shouldn’t you be back in Hampton Hargate by now, chap?’

 

Obviously.

 

Obviously*. 

 

That is exactly what I meant, but feel free to infer whatever you like, as you have. 

 

The bloke was clearly having a crap day. Don't know why he had to take it out on me, but I don't know what he was thinking. 

 

If you want to put me on block, feel free. 

 

 

 

[BorniteIdentity]

 

Obviously*.

 

That is exactly what I meant, but feel free to infer whatever you like, as you have.

 

The bloke was clearly having a crap day. Don't know why he had to take it out on me, but I don't know what he was thinking.

 

 

I had a feeling you’d say this. And if you re-read my first post I didn’t call you a racist or a xenophobe or anything. I said this might have been your mistake.

 

I read it both ways.

 

He may have thought you were telling him to FUCK OFF BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM LOL which would always end badly.

 

You were the one who accused me of virtue signalling. All I said was ‘that may have been a mistake’

 

Anyway. Whatever.

[alcyonecorporation]

I had a feeling you’d say this. And if you re-read my first post I didn’t call you a racist or a xenophobe or anything. I said this might have been your mistake.

 

I read it both ways.

 

He may have thought you were telling him to FUCK OFF BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM LOL which would always end badly.

 

You were the one who accused me of virtue signalling. All I said was ‘that may have been a mistake’

 

Anyway. Whatever.

 

No, no - you called it. Good for you. Well done. 

 

If you care to read back, he slapped my tailgate BEFORE I said what you presumed to be a dodgy comment, which it wasn't. There is a reason why it isn't what you implied it to be, but you'll twist my words if I try and explain it.  

 

BEFORE. 

 

He was clearly having a crap day. I STILL don't understand what I had done to cop this, and sure as hell do NOT understand why I'm under fire now. 

 

Your holier-than-thou attitude is really testing my patience. 

 

Never mind, you gave it a good go. 

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Some dickhead in a 207 was trying to doughnut it in reverse and tearing around doing handbrake turns on the local square last night during the game. Kids were still out n about as it's bloody roasting here. It seems only the older locals seemed it worthy of coming out to remonstrate, only 2 of the, who were ignored.......

I admit, I lost it. Tosspot does another circuit and I roundly tell him to FRO. Hadn't noticed the 4 mates standing watching, but they go to get in the car. Idiot then peels out and swerves at me........ not noticing he's heading into the one way around the maison du commune.

Your ex pat northern monkey promptly found a nice large stone and promptly smashed the fuckers windscreen....... sorry - but the cunt deserved it.

He's still driving like a twat and lost it on the corner whilst making his impressive 'getaway'...... off up the road wth the front passenger side wheel flat and looking like it wouldn't survive the journey home.

Number plate taken, reported to plod...... who kindly ignored my son informing him of the windscreen breaking and told me to forget that bit.

 

I love speed, throwing a car around etc..... but I've never ever understood this mentality. Especially when you really have no clue as to ow to make a car go fast without losing control.

 

Bellend!

[captain_70s]

I need a new job.

 

At work I run a machine, I am in charge of setting up that machine, there are three rules to follow:

 

1 - Do it as fast as possible, you should always be getting faster and more efficient. You should also be helping others with their more complex machines.

2 - Don't deviate from the settings sheet, if you need to get an engineer.

3 - Make sure it runs well by the time it is needed.

 

Here are the problems with said rules:

 

1 - You have to rush the fuck out of everything and are always trying to catch up with yourself. You end throwing bits of machine in and going through the settings as fast as possible while dripping with sweat while being told you're too slow.

2 - The machine is 16 years old and has run 18 hours a day since it was built. It's tolerances are all over the place, bits are constantly failing and getting replaced and the material it works with is cardboard which varies in it's texture/size/construction from batch to batch. If I adjust the settings to allow the machine to actually run I get bollocked for messing with it, if I go get an engineer it takes forever for them to come over (see rule 1) and they just ask why I've not done it myself.

3 - Due to the combination of the above the chance of it working "out the box" is nothing short of a miracle. I don't have time to test anything, if it is fucking up I don't have the time to actually watch it and see why it's fucking up. If I can see why it's fucking up I have to get an engineer rather than move a setting 2mm.

 

This is due to the production line's efficiency being measured by several variables, including how many deviations from the settings sheet are made, how long set up takes, how many breakdowns there are, etc. The better the line runs the higher the standards get and the harder they are to achieve with 15-25 year old machinery but there is no investment made towards the factory or staff. It's a huge company with loads of managers/production heads, no communication and moving towards a more Americanised business system.

 

So, I should probably just play by the rules set for me and watch the chaos unfold? Nope, can't do that. Get bollocked for not showing enough initiative or paying enough attention.

 

I've also just been reduced back down to a 0-hours contract. While I'd really like to escape I fear that the above is just the production industry in a nutshell and I'm basically fucked.

[sierraman]

Good on you, arseholes like that need a taste of their own medicine. By my book if you act like a twat expect to get treat like one.

[Guest Hooli]

Some dickhead in a 207 was trying to doughnut it in reverse and tearing around doing handbrake turns on the local square last night during the game. Kids were still out n about as it's bloody roasting here. It seems only the older locals seemed it worthy of coming out to remonstrate, only 2 of the, who were ignored.......

I admit, I lost it. Tosspot does another circuit and I roundly tell him to FRO. Hadn't noticed the 4 mates standing watching, but they go to get in the car. Idiot then peels out and swerves at me........ not noticing he's heading into the one way around the maison du commune.

Your ex pat northern monkey promptly found a nice large stone and promptly smashed the fuckers windscreen....... sorry - but the cunt deserved it.

He's still driving like a twat and lost it on the corner whilst making his impressive 'getaway'...... off up the road wth the front passenger side wheel flat and looking like it wouldn't survive the journey home.

Number plate taken, reported to plod...... who kindly ignored my son informing him of the windscreen breaking and told me to forget that bit.

 

I love speed, throwing a car around etc..... but I've never ever understood this mentality. Especially when you really have no clue as to ow to make a car go fast without losing control.

 

Bellend!

 

Good work!

[alcyonecorporation]

I need a new job.

 

At work I run a machine, I am in charge of setting up that machine, there are three rules to follow:

 

1 - Do it as fast as possible, you should always be getting faster and more efficient. You should also be helping others with their more complex machines.

2 - Don't deviate from the settings sheet, if you need to get an engineer.

3 - Make sure it runs well by the time it is needed.

 

Here are the problems with said rules:

 

1 - You have to rush the fuck out of everything and are always trying to catch up with yourself. You end throwing bits of machine in and going through the settings as fast as possible while dripping with sweat while being told you're too slow.

2 - The machine is 16 years old and has run 18 hours a day since it was built. It's tolerances are all over the place, bits are constantly failing and getting replaced and the material it works with is cardboard which varies in it's texture/size/construction from batch to batch. If I adjust the settings to allow the machine to actually run I get bollocked for messing with it, if I go get an engineer it takes forever for them to come over (see rule 1) and they just ask why I've not done it myself.

3 - Due to the combination of the above the chance of it working "out the box" is nothing short of a miracle. I don't have time to test anything, if it is fucking up I don't have the time to actually watch it and see why it's fucking up. If I can see why it's fucking up I have to get an engineer rather than move a setting 2mm.

 

This is due to the production line's efficiency being measured by several variables, including how many deviations from the settings sheet are made, how long set up takes, how many breakdowns there are, etc. The better the line runs the higher the standards get and the harder they are to achieve with 15-25 year old machinery but there is no investment made towards the factory or staff. It's a huge company with loads of managers/production heads, no communication and moving towards a more Americanised business system.

 

So, I should probably just play by the rules set for me and watch the chaos unfold? Nope, can't do that. Get bollocked for not showing enough initiative or paying enough attention.

 

I've also just been reduced back down to a 0-hours contract. While I'd really like to escape I fear that the above is just the production industry in a nutshell and I'm basically fucked.

 

Can I dislike this? 

 

Liking this would be disrespectful.