The grumpy thread

[Supernaut]

Meh, my family are fine.

 

My older brothers can be a bit annoying at times (only one of them, really) but I've been living with them for years and not come to blows over anything. Seems fine.

 

My sister and my parents just let me get on with it. The parents were surprisingly complimentary of the shonky BMW when I turned up the other day, with comments along the lines of "it's how old? Looks alright condition for being that age" etc. etc.

I think they've just realised I'm never going to be 'normal' and they just put up with my chod-fondling. Hey, it means I can help them with their cars whenever needed.

[Datsuncog]

[...] so I made the a trip to Halfrauds [...]

 

I agree, its sad, not remotely funny but I'm sure the folk who post it must sit there chuckling at their own wittiness after posting such nonsense

 

Okay, I'll bite.

 

Halfrauds. Nothing to do with the forum here, and not all that much to do with attempts at witticism - not any more, anyway.

 

I worked for them on and off for ten years, beginning back in the '90s, and all the staff in my branch used 'Halfrauds' as a matter of course when making reference to our beloved* employer.

 

Because, as several others here have twigged, we sold crap products made of quick-ring monkey metal that were often unfit for purpose but at vastly inflated prices, while being paid minimum wage and working quite a lot of unpaid overtime in a horribly understaffed store, then having our much-dangled 'store quarterly bonus' snatched away at the last picosecond on whatever bullshit, made-up technicality the area manager could pull out of his ample Merc-massaged arse.

 

We weren't fully paid for the work we did. Our wages stopped at 8pm when the store supposedly shut; I was seldom out before 8.30 (sometimes 9 if there was an issue with running the stockfile update tapes on the ancient RM Nimbus). We often went without breaks as the store was so understaffed, and stayed late to cover staff absences. Customers were left disappointed and out of pocket because they didn't get full use of the products they'd paid a premium for (I processed the returns, I know exactly what came back every week and why, and many items were beyond shoddy).

 

Promises were made by the company to both parties with no intention of honouring them. Fraud it was, and fraud it remains, by dictionary definition: "deception, esp for unlawful gain." The controlling private equity company was doing very nicely, their bottom line boosted by retaining monies that should have been disbursed.

 

Apologies if this corruption and others causes botheration; I appreciate that there's little more wince-inducing than a joke that's worn thin to the point of utter transparency.

 

But for me, the use of Halfrauds is less of a joke and more of an attempt to claw back a shred of dignity from a company that treated me like shite and left me with permanent scars and injuries from unsafe stores and working practices, as well as long-lasting debt issues brought about because the monthly wages were simply not enough to live on, and the much-promised bonuses never once materialised. I don't chuckle at my own wittiness when typing it. At best, it's a grim, humourless grimace.

 

Names are important things. Intentional misuse of a name is sometimes one of the few avenues of recourse for the powerless. It's not exactly lobbing rocks at invading tanks, but it's one way of showing contempt and a refusal to accept a dominant narrative (in this case, the corporate narrative of "We go the extra mile!" - as a company, they wouldn't have pissed on me if I was on fire but I daresay they would have sent my surviving family a bill for the burned uniform).

 

Anyway. Grump about the grump over. As you were.

[Supernaut]

I agree about calling it Halfrauds.

 

I worked there for a couple of years as a student. I was a part-time bicycle salesperson / mechanic. It was great fun, but management were shitehawks, and me and a colleague knew more about cars than the entire car parts dept. put together! We also had more driving licences between us than they did!

 

Oh yes, and even with the whopping* 15% staff discount, it was still far cheaper sourcing bicycle parts online from other retailers. They're also better quality too.

[mercrocker]

That, Datsuncog, is a very erudite and justified explanation for what many may well regard as a whimsical stale joke.   I shall continue it's useage!  

 

 

 

.    

[Jazoli]

Light bulbs.

 

 

Oh yes, here in my Workshop I have GLS ES, candle ES, GLS BC, Candle BS, Candle SES, Candle SBC, Globe SES, Globe SBC, SES, SBC, G9, GU10, then all types of squirrel cage LED and loads of different lengths of Fluorescent tubes, plus others.

 

What I love about my job is when someone comes over the radio and says 'can I have a bulb please for room xyz' which usually means trailing up 6 flights of stairs to see which type of bulb then making the return trip back to the workshop with the right one, which you then fit and it's pre-blown....grrrrrrrr, then 15 minutes later the radio goes 'can I have a bulb................' 

 

It drives me insane, fortunately I have staff to do it but when they are off I have to!

[mrbenn]

The price of bulbs cannot be ignored, either.

 

Was in B&Q recently with Dad (to get more wood, he loves the stuff) and he mentioned he needed a bulb as we were on the way out. I, with the innocence of a child enquiring as to what time Father Christmas would arrive, nonchalantly asked the price as he found the one he wanted. £8, came the reply. How many do you get in the pack, says I, still getting milk and a mince pie ready for the great man. One. Singular. Fortunately, the half dozen or so people nearby found it more amusing than offensive when I completely involuntarily shouted "FUCK OFF" as this information came to light.

 

£8 for one bulb. Between this, and rude people, we're fucked.

[Rod/b]

^ Re light bulbs. I completely blame IKEA for that. For years they only sold fittings and bulbs of type ES. This softened the UK up for all manner of non standard ness. Grinds my gears, too.

I was selling sbc / ses cap bulbs 25 years ago, they’re not so novel.

[chodweaver]

Oh, I know they existed long before IKEA came on the scene. But ALL Ikea's lamp fittings were screw ins. So it was easiest to buy bulbs from them too. Which was great, cos many of their bulbs were cheap. But then you had a mix of BC and screw-in fittings in your house, and IKEA only stocked screw-in bulbs (to start with) and it got frustrating being able to buy bulbs only for your IKEA fittings when in IKEA...

[chodweaver]

ETA give me a break. This is the grumpy thread...

[Des]

Oh yes, here in my Workshop I have GLS ES, candle ES, GLS BC, Candle BS, Candle SES, Candle SBC, Globe SES, Globe SBC, SES, SBC, G9, GU10, then all types of squirrel cage LED and loads of different lengths of Fluorescent tubes, plus others.

 

 

Got any 8' tubes? My broom handle, cable tie and jumper wires adapters aren't terribly H&S and shorter tube lacks brightness.

Those Edison screw lamps were a pain in the arse to me some years ago when I'd have to find them for European made equipment, hard to avoid them now. Dangerous feckers really compared to bayonet.

[panhard65]

Ref bulbs our house was built by Persimmion homes. What a fucking nightmare, all the fittings are unusual and bulbs have to come from this one company at great expence. They did the same with plumbing fittings that nearly lead to me having to rip out a perfectly good shower tray because the waste trap was special and only used by them. The workmanship was so shoddy that the waste trap had been wrapped in ptfe tape where the numpty fitting it had overtightened it and cracked it. Then there is the boiler, the instructions say it should have copper pipe for the first meter minimum out of the boiler. These muppets use copper to go through the ceiling then used push on plastic joints that they didn't fit properly. This caused a water leak and buggered the boiler electronics at 2 years old. They also forgot about putting a cable between the switch and the immersion heater which we only found out about when the boiler packed up. Never buy a house from these idiots they make wimpy home look quality.

[ruffgeezer]

Just had a pre-MOT on the Audi, it needs a brake flexi so I shan't be sticking it in the auction at Cannock tomorrow.

 

Bollocks.

[Captain Furious]

I agree about the rude ignorant people who now infest this once great island.  I was bemoaning the fact just yesterday on facebooks that I cannot remember a single time in the last 3 months where I've let someone in\out of a junction or lane and they've actually said thankyou.

 

Well no more, unless letting them out is actually unavoidable without causing an accident they can all FRO.  Miserable, ignorant, rabble cunts.

[stephen01]

The price of bulbs cannot be ignored, either.

 

Was in B&Q recently with Dad (to get more wood, he loves the stuff) and he mentioned he needed a bulb as we were on the way out. I, with the innocence of a child enquiring as to what time Father Christmas would arrive, nonchalantly asked the price as he found the one he wanted. £8, came the reply. How many do you get in the pack, says I, still getting milk and a mince pie ready for the great man. One. Singular. Fortunately, the half dozen or so people nearby found it more amusing than offensive when I completely involuntarily shouted "FUCK OFF" as this information came to light.

 

£8 for one bulb. Between this, and rude people, we're fucked.

 

A few years ago when I put in new bulbs at home, I didn't have much change from £150 and that was 'trade' 

 

the same when I had to get new bulbs for the Dr's. many pounds have been spent on bulbs. 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Ref bulbs our house was built by Persimmon homes. What a fucking nightmare, all the fittings are unusual and bulbs have to come from this one company at great expence. They did the same with plumbing fittings that nearly lead to me having to rip out a perfectly good shower tray because the waste trap was special and only used by them.

Why d'you think they used their own spec? So they could continue to make money even after completing the build.

 

The workmanship was so shoddy that the waste trap had been wrapped in ptfe tape where the numpty fitting it had overtightened it and cracked it. Then there is the boiler, the instructions say it should have copper pipe for the first meter minimum out of the boiler. These muppets use copper to go through the ceiling then used push on plastic joints that they didn't fit properly. This caused a water leak and buggered the boiler electronics at 2 years old. They also forgot about putting a cable between the switch and the immersion heater which we only found out about when the boiler packed up. Never buy a house from these idiots they make wimpy home look quality.

In some ways you're lucky you didn't buy a Bovis Home....

[robinmasters]

Why d'you think they used their own spec? So they could continue to make money even after completing the build.

 

 

In some ways you're lucky you didn't buy a Bovis Home....

A chalet?

 

[Tickman]

Ref bulbs our house was built by Persimmion homes. What a fucking nightmare, all the fittings are unusual and bulbs have to come from this one company at great expence. They did the same with plumbing fittings that nearly lead to me having to rip out a perfectly good shower tray because the waste trap was special and only used by them. The workmanship was so shoddy that the waste trap had been wrapped in ptfe tape where the numpty fitting it had overtightened it and cracked it. Then there is the boiler, the instructions say it should have copper pipe for the first meter minimum out of the boiler. These muppets use copper to go through the ceiling then used push on plastic joints that they didn't fit properly. This caused a water leak and buggered the boiler electronics at 2 years old. They also forgot about putting a cable between the switch and the immersion heater which we only found out about when the boiler packed up. Never buy a house from these idiots they make wimpy home look quality.

 

I have friends who bought a new build and there was no electric up stairs at all, they had sockets and switches but no wires!

[Parky]

When I did my kitchen in my 2001 vintage Bellway home I found all the wall unit fittings were fucked and the kitchen guys had no-nailed the units to the plasterboard, how that held up for 7 years I will never know.

 

Plus my favourite was the 3m length of cable from the cooker switch to the cooker. Total distance - 75cm. Rather than cut the wire to a reasonable length, some donk had used a 3m length and just coiled it round and round with cable ties and held it to the breezeblock with a lump of plaster. Someone else then decided that was adaquate enough to nail some plasterboard over. Was a nice surprise when I drilled through that!

[Zelandeth]

What the heck is it with people out and about shouting into a mobile on speakerphone?!?

 

I do not want to hear about what you were doing with whose wife yesterday night while walking around the supermarket! No, I'm not making that topic up either.

 

The ability to talk at rather than into a phone has its uses (in the car if it's something critical and there's nowhere safe to pull over), or when you're working on something and need both hands... walking around a supermarket, a crowded commuter train, bus or flight are not valid use cases. Likewise I've no issues with folks for whom hands free works better because of hearing problems etc.

 

...just feels like it's something that's everywhere suddenly.

[Tamworthbay]

When I did my kitchen in my 2001 vintage Bellway home I found all the wall unit fittings were fucked and the kitchen guys had no-nailed the units to the plasterboard, how that held up for 7 years I will never know.

Plus my favourite was the 3m length of cable from the cooker switch to the cooker. Total distance - 75cm. Rather than cut the wire to a reasonable length, some donk had used a 3m length and just coiled it round and round with cable ties and held it to the breezeblock with a lump of plaster. Someone else then decided that was adaquate enough to nail some plasterboard over. Was a nice surprise when I drilled through that!

This is why I DIY everything I can. At least that way the bodges are MY bodges and I know where they are.

[chodweaver]

Again, it's the advent of the smartphone that's to blame - empowering the yoofs to chat AND send each other pics of their mates, their genitals, or indeed their mates' genitals while snorting their derision to each other. Add to this the possibility for video calls and nearly silent EVs and I think we have a replacement for the world war and/or plague epidemic that the last generation or two has missed.

[Isaac Hunt]

The "Yoof of today".........You need two new tyres, nil response.........so I get everybody to club together and that is the birthday present. Tyres kicking around for a few weeks, need to get those tyres fitted........Yoof is just too busy.....

 

My rear brakes are squeeling.....a gander through the Alloys, your almost down to the metal, it is the wear ridge on the disc on the pad backing. Need to do those at the weekend, I keep the pads in stock.....Yoof is too busy

 

Then all of a sudden 'pads need to be done NOW'..... yeah, of course they do, they will be down to the metal by now......and they were. TBH, I'd have thrown my arms up in despair at another set of discs wrecked but to be honest, even before the pads ran out of material, the discs wouldn't have been up to much. So after much fiddling getting the calipers wound back in due to them having adjusted out to the max. Shoved some new pads in and told yoof "they won't last that long, so we will do another set with discs when we do the rear wheel bearing that has been rumbling like on like for many months like an old geazer on Autoshite.

 

We will get your wheels swopped around and get those two new tyres on whilst the wheels are off. Yoof is in a rush but the rush will have to wait because they are slicks and I mean slicks, no cords hanging out, but zilch pattern left, great in the dry.

 

At least now Yoof has 4 quality tyres matching on all four corners the oldest of which are only 9 months old.

 

Talk about getting 'max value' out of everything. The car is not even in our shitters category yet

[fraser.innes.3]

Whilst I agree with some of this, ultimately I’d love to see the BBC become self-sufficient. Whilst the rest of the nation has to tighten the reins financially, the beeb continue to enjoy an enormous publicly-funded salary pot. With this, they’ll continue to make up numbers and pay their increasingly large list of ‘celebs’ the ridiculous sums they demand.

They’re taking the piss.

The cunts pay Gary Linaker more to host match of the day, than they pay for the full Scottish football highlights!

 

Sent from my HUAWEI M2-A01W using Tapatalk

[MarvinsMom]

The cunts pay Gary Linaker more to host match of the day, than they pay for the full Scottish football highlights!

 

Sent from my HUAWEI M2-A01W using Tapatalk

but WHO would want to watch scottish football highlights?

[ruffgeezer]

Isn't it just some lads scrapping for the last Iru Bru and square sausage bap at the snack wagon?

[Parky]

Nope, it's a bunch of lads going full Zoolander next to an old Hillman

[Jim Bell]

Halfboards and Eurcarfarts.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Did another thread get deleted? A thread that didn't make sense with only about 5 replies?

[SiC]

Halfboards and Eurcarfarts.

I prefer EuroWrongParts.

[Slartibartfast]

Did another thread get deleted? A thread that didn't make sense with only about 5 replies?

If it was a thread by RBJ you're referring yo then yes, he asked for it to be deleted.