The grumpy thread

[anonymous user]

It's never the pastry, it's always the oven that's at fault.

[Tamworthbay]

That's because they don't make any.

They do loads, as do most continental countries but for some reason it’s only the goats piss lagers that make it over here. They do great dark beers very similar to our bitters, including the winter Bok beers which are bloody gorgeous. The Portuguese have some fantastic dark beers including one that is very similar to, but slightly better than, Guinness in England (Guinness in Ireland is far better). My favourite of all is Palm which is Belgian. It’s similar to a proper IPA and one of the best beers ever made. When I lived in Holland I tested as many as I could and there is a far wider range than you find in this country but as I said they don’t make it over here for some reason.

[loserone]

Angyl - Mrs L1 says it'll be something to do with the fat not bonding properly to the flour.  She suggests it might be worth putting it all into one and making an e.g. crumble topping, which might rescue it from the bin at least.

 

Otherwise, you have our sympathies - no mince pies here this year, but the best xmas cake yet.

[Cavcraft]

Another company that can't seem to grasp that if someone has passed away, it's going to be fucking difficult for them to come on the 'phone and speak. Six days after a harrowing funeral and still dealing with morons  

[AlabamaShrimp]

The Portuguese have some fantastic dark beers including one that is very similar to, but slightly better than, Guinness in England (Guinness in Ireland is far better).

All Guinness is made in Ireland, has been for ages.

[Tamworthbay]

All Guinness is made in Ireland, has been for ages.

But it tastes different in England hence ‘Guinness in England’ not Guinness made in England. You haven’t tasted Guinness until you have had a pint in Ireland. It is totally different, Perhaps they just send the shit over here to pay us back for the potato famine.

[Tamworthbay]

Another company that can't seem to grasp that if someone has passed away, it's going to be fucking difficult for them to come on the 'phone and speak. Six days after a harrowing funeral and still dealing with morons

 

You have my sympathy mate, been there and it’s a fucking nightmare, hope you get it sorted.

[Pillock]

Another company that can't seem to grasp that if someone has passed away, it's going to be fucking difficult for them to come on the 'phone and speak. Six days after a harrowing funeral and still dealing with morons

Are you on Twitter Billy?

A quick rundown of the facts, publicly, to their customer service people often resolves this pretty sharpish.

 

"Hello @(name of company). A close relative died recently. Every time I phone to inform you, you want to speak to them. Could you either provide me with Derek Acorah's phone number, or sort this out?"

 

Great thing about Twitter Vs Facebook is they can't remove your mention of them, they have to be seen to sort it.

[DodgeRover]

Another company that can't seem to grasp that if someone has passed away, it's going to be fucking difficult for them to come on the 'phone and speak. Six days after a harrowing funeral and still dealing with morons

You have my sympathy.

18 months later we are still dealing with fuckwits at EDF over my late fathers final bill.

"Oh we can't talk to you as we need the account holders permission" was mentioned a couple of days ago....

[Guest Hooli]

They do loads, as do most continental countries but for some reason it’s only the goats piss lagers that make it over here. They do great dark beers very similar to our bitters, including the winter Bok beers which are bloody gorgeous. The Portuguese have some fantastic dark beers including one that is very similar to, but slightly better than, Guinness in England (Guinness in Ireland is far better). My favourite of all is Palm which is Belgian. It’s similar to a proper IPA and one of the best beers ever made. When I lived in Holland I tested as many as I could and there is a far wider range than you find in this country but as I said they don’t make it over here for some reason.

 

That. I've found great beers over there, but they don't send them here.

[New POD]

I know this is the Grumpy old man thread, but yesterday was my last day in Derby.

 

I had to sign my pass back in to the Security office.

 

The person involved is called Clare. I had to be escorted by my project manager who believes she hates him.

 

This is the woman who delayed him getting a pass for 6 weeks, because she has that power.

 

Tim : Mark is here to hand his pass in.

Clare : Has anyone told me?

Tim (Lying) : Yes. Dave F.......T sent you an email.

Clare : I've not had it.

Me : Does that mean I can't leave? My invoicing will be all wrong.

Clare : It means you might have to wait.

Me : Well I'm due in Liverpool in 3 hours, so if it's not convenient, I'll just take myself off now.

Tim: You need to sign some forms.

Me: I'm not sure why.

Clare : You're not coming back ?

Me: Never say never, but I've invoiced (name of Tim's employer) already and I'm now working for free.

Clare : Pass?

Me: Pass (hands in pass)

Clare: (hands me a form) Read. Sign.

Me: Have I taken any top secret information? If I had I'd probably lie and say no. But I haven't so I'll say no. It's a bit of a stupid question really isn't it?

Clare : It's a requirement of the Official secrets act that you sign it again when you leave.

Me : What's the date?

Clare : 20th

Me: There you go.

Tim : Thanks

Clare : You need to give 3 days notice in future.

Tim : Yes

Me: is that it then ?

Clare: You are free to go.

me : Thanks.

 

Having left the building I says to Tim "She really hates you" and Tim just looks sad.  He wants to be in Australia and his firm sent him to Derby instead.

[Eddie Honda]

But it tastes different in England hence ‘Guinness in England’ not Guinness made in England. You haven’t tasted Guinness until you have had a pint in Ireland. It is totally different, Perhaps they just send the shit over here to pay us back for the potato famine.

Tastes the bloody same to me (the only time it doesn't points a big fat finger at the landlord doing a shit job)

[AlabamaShrimp]

But it tastes different in England hence ‘Guinness in England’ not Guinness made in England. You haven’t tasted Guinness until you have had a pint in Ireland. It is totally different, Perhaps they just send the shit over here to pay us back for the potato famine.

I've had some at the top of that tower in the Guinness factory does that count? It tasted exactly the same as the stuff made in London before they knocked it down and the same as the stuff in the pub round the corner from here that's made in Ireland.

 

I also had some in a few pubs round Ireland just to check and yep all the same.

 

I'll tell you something though, Wagon Wheels, they're smaller you know!

[HillmanImp]

The 8% Guinness Special Export is nicer than normal stuff plus it gets you absolutely shit faced really quickly.

[strangeangel]

But it tastes different in England hence ‘Guinness in England’ not Guinness made in England. You haven’t tasted Guinness until you have had a pint in Ireland. It is totally different, Perhaps they just send the shit over here to pay us back for the potato famine.

 

I've drunk the stuff every time I've been to Dublin, and I have to say it tastes exactly the same to me. I much prefer the bottled Foreign Extra to 'normal' Guinness anyway.

[strangeangel]

That. I've found great beers over there, but they don't send them here.

 

I visited Germany frequently in the 90s, and all I ever came across was local breweries knocking out 'German purity law' lager. As lager goes it was fine, but it inevitably all tasted the same. I must not have been looking in the right places for dark beers!

[Tamworthbay]

Tastes the bloody same to me (the only time it doesn't points a big fat finger at the landlord doing a shit job)

  

I've had some at the top of that tower in the Guinness factory does that count? It tasted exactly the same as the stuff made in London before they knocked it down and the same as the stuff in the pub round the corner from here that's made in Ireland.

I also had some in a few pubs round Ireland just to check and yep all the same.

I'll tell you something though, Wagon Wheels, they're smaller you know!

  

I've drunk the stuff every time I've been to Dublin, and I have to say it tastes exactly the same to me. I much prefer the bottled Foreign Extra to 'normal' Guinness anyway.

Heathens, it’s nothing like the same. The reasons have long been debated but this attempts to cover it in a more objective way:

 

https://theculturetrip.com/europe/ireland/articles/why-does-guinness-taste-better-in-ireland/

 

Personally I think it’s a lack of knowledge by UK landlords as it varies enormously from pub to pub. Some are pretty close and very good, in others it’s virtually undrinkable. I have made it my duty to test and explore as many pints of guinnness as possible in different pubs, purely for scientific research you understand.

[mercrocker]

Off to a mate's funeral this morning, he was only 46 years old.   He is going off in style but I wish he wasn't going anywhere.   Second friend this month we have had to say goodbye to.

[xtriple]

I have made a major balls - up on the finances front and I don't know how! It can only come down to a simple inability to add up, possibly forgot to carry the one.... It is really rather a MAJOR fuck up as fuck ups go and so deep and detestable skintness descends upon the household for the Christmas and New Year period.

 

I have been checking paperwork all morning and my 'books' are so messy and scrawled I cannot make head nor tail of them, no wonder accountants hate me!

[Supernaut]

I have made a major balls - up on the finances front and I don't know how! It can only come down to a simple inability to add up, possibly forgot to carry the one.... It is really rather a MAJOR fuck up as fuck ups go and so deep and detestable skintness descends upon the household for the Christmas and New Year period.

 

I have been checking paperwork all morning and my 'books' are so messy and scrawled I cannot make head nor tail of them, no wonder accountants hate me!

 

[Tamworthbay]

I visited Germany frequently in the 90s, and all I ever came across was local breweries knocking out 'German purity law' lager. As lager goes it was fine, but it inevitably all tasted the same. I must not have been looking in the right places for dark beers!

A lot of the dark beers are seasonal, you can get them bottled in decent shops all year round but otherwise they are only available for a couple of months. MeiBok are light and very sweet (bloody horrible) but any other Beer with Bok in the name should be a dark beer. When I lived in Breda 95% or pubs sold Heineken, Amstel, Oranjeboom (the local brew) and Brand, you had to go to the equivalent of real ale pubs to find the good stuff but it was readily available if you knew where to look. There was one bar on the main square in Breda that had over 200 different beers, all listed alphabetically on a big board, in six months I managed to get to P with a few interesting sounding ones from later letters tried as well. Delft was similar except that the touristy bits just sold shite as you would expect. It’s a real shame that the big breweries just take the name of a lager, stick in on their leftover goats piss and flog it cheap at Aldi when there are so many good beers they could import and sell loads of. After mentioning Palm on here I had a nose online and found a place that sells it over here for sensible money so I now have a dozen on their way which should reach me by New Years Eve, but I noticed the courier is Yodel so I suppose it could be New Year’s Eve next year.

[Des]

The cheap nasty lacquer I sprayed the audi's spoiler with has bloomed in the cold - like some kind of automotive Mr Blobby.

Is anything any good these days?

A friend once rattle canned an area of his drivers door one misty morning, the result was utterly horrific, he fixed it later by spraying paint leveller all over. I wonder if that would fix blooming, or even a misting of acetone?

[Bren]

I sprayed it in the summer - but the bloom seems to get worse.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Being the tit I am I hurt my back while asleep the other day. Went to to doctors Monday, got some strong anti inflammatory stuff, it's not working.

 

Been back today as I can't sleep with the pain going down my arm making my fingers numb. The very pretty nurse has had a feel. She touched my shoulder blade too and says it's all locked up, here have some diazipam as you can't sleep.

 

Hope it works and I actually get some sleep tonight or I become an amazing sniper...

[dollywobbler]

So. Has dollywobbler got wood?

 

Turns out the reason I couldn't get wood on Wednesday is because I ordered it for Friday. Meant the delivery driver dropped it off in sunshine rather than rain! Naturally, it started drizzling as soon as he was back in his truck. I've covered my wood up for now.

[Lacquer Peel]

I was on 34% productivity and never made a bonus. When they had a shake up of the bonus system I was sent to the staff consultation as a low earner. In the break a manager came over and got to talking about how the high bonus earners were upset with the changes, they paid their mortgage on their bonus and now felt they were getting robbed by lazy engineers who didn't get their 10 jobs in.

 

I asked him how I could be expected to break the 10 job baseline if I had 2.5-3hr drives between jobs?

 

 

That job ruined my nerves in the end, horrible culture there.

 

Ugh. That reminds me of working for a major electricity company. These companies are obsessed with consistent productivity but every job is different, my job was clearing electricity line way leaves of trees and foliage - some spans could take 5 minutes, others 1 day or more but they expected the same productivity across the board.

[Tamworthbay]

Ugh. That reminds me of working for a major electricity company. These companies are obsessed with consistent productivity but every job is different, my job was clearing electricity line way leaves of trees and foliage - some spans could take 5 minutes, others 1 day or more but they expected the same productivity across the board.

It’s because they have fallen into the McNamara trap, to manage you need to measure, to measure you need numbers. So everything is reduced to a number on a spreadsheet with little or no understanding of what the job requires to do it successfully and to the satisfaction of the customer. Companies then spend thousands employing people to look at these numbers who then, to justify their inflated salaries, state that what is needed to increase productivity is more measurement because then they can see what is happening better. Where as in reality what happens is people spend half their working lives filling in pointless pieces of paper or aiming at meaningless targets.

[chaseracer]

 I have made it my duty to test and explore as many pints of guinnness as possible in different pubs, purely for scientific research you understand.

There was one bar on the main square in Breda that had over 200 different beers, all listed alphabetically on a big board, in six months I managed to get to P with a few interesting sounding ones from later letters tried as well.

 

You, sir, are a bloody HERO.

[chaseracer]

I've covered my wood up for now.

 

TFFT!! 

[Tamworthbay]

You, sir, are a bloody HERO.

It was purely cultural research occifer.