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Posted

Smash the faulty short lived pieces of shit lights to molecules and rip down the tree 'cos Christmas is shit anyway.

 

Yours lovingly.

 

The Grinch

Posted

Smash the faulty short lived pieces of shit lights to molecules and rip down the tree 'cos Christmas is shit anyway.

 

Yours lovingly.

 

The Grinch

 

I second this post.

 

It also has the added bonus that you house looks so much better once that tacky shit has gone.

  • Like 2
Posted

Tacky shit? Mrs DW dragged a bit of beech hedge into the house, then covered it in ancient tinsel and lights with actual proper bulbs. That's not a bad way to do Christmas. As I step ever further from the MUST BUY TONS OF SHIT mentality of Christmas, I'm starting to enjoy it more and more. We just try to see people we like and eat lots of chocolate. It's great!

Posted

My ex wife come and had a tidy up of my house the other day and devided to decorate things with tinsel. Bah humbug.

  • Like 3
Posted

Ex wife cleaning up for you???????

What manner of pact have you made with Satan to achieve this?

Finally among the potless weirdo losers of this site we have a winner in life.

Posted

put the xmas tree up this morning.

 

while putting up the fairy lights on said tree, i noticed that i had a couple of bulbs out.

 

this afternoon, i've been into town for some bits of food shopping, so i thought that i'd get tome more bulbs and replace the duff ones.

 

only i've failed to find anywhere selling spare bulbs, and after asking parents, it seems that on one DOES sell spare bulbs, as it is now "cheaper" to throw away old lights and go and buy some new ones...

 

FFS, this country is fucked......

 

 

Once this Christmas is over, all my old light strings are going to my sister, so that she has spare bulbs for her lights for many years to come.

Posted

post-5335-0-02363500-1513699206_thumb.jpg

 

post-5335-0-15698400-1513699221_thumb.jpg

 

They all still work, they're probably older than I am.  I've got decorations that are absolutely older than me.  *smug face*

Posted

Ex wife cleaning up for you???????

What manner of pact have you made with Satan to achieve this?

Finally among the potless weirdo losers of this site we have a winner in life.

We stayed friends and since my mini stroke she helps me with laundry,cooking and cleaning when im having shit days.
Posted

That's nice of her to help you out bub

  • Like 3
Posted

It is yes. I repay favour by looking after our dog who she had when she on long shifts at work

  • Like 4
Posted

Me three! My mum probably still has them but doesn't bother with a tree.

 

I seem to remember ours were in a PIFCO box

Posted

These have a blue cardboard box with a cellophane window in the outline of a candle.  I'd photograph that but it'd mean digging all the decoration storage boxes out and I CBA.

Posted

My old house sells tomorrow. Just been round for the last time to do the meter readings and get a couple of things that were left there.

 

As I was walking round to leave it was a bit like the end of a sitcom, where the main character reminisced all the great times they had with the other characters over the duration of the show. Feeling a bit sad now.

 

However, it should hopefully be better tomorrow when the money hits my account. Can pay some other mug to finish decorating my house and actually get my life back and do stuff I enjoy such as mountain biking and playing with my cars again as they have all been slowly falling to bits in various places round Yorkshire.

 

Might have to buy another one to in order to cheer myself up in the meantime.

Posted

My ex wife come and had a tidy up of my house the other day and devided to decorate things with tinsel. Bah humbug.

At the start of that post I expected to read she had cleared up the TV and all the knives and forks to her new place.

  • Like 3
Posted

We have 6o year old  (made by MAZDA  !  ) Disney  lights ! 

 

post-17940-0-03086100-1513726051_thumb.jpg

 

And they work  still   :-D

 

post-17940-0-58534700-1513726216_thumb.jpg

 

 

We've got Bambi's Mum for Boxing Day dinner....shes been hanging 4 weeks :?

 

 

Me dogs already scoffed Bambi ... :-(    Jeez , look at his belly !!

 

 

post-17940-0-18774400-1513726365_thumb.jpg

Posted

I arrived home nearly 3 hours (and a hundredish miles) after finishing work tonight, thanks to the utterly braindead, cretinous wastes of oxygen that Mrs_Duke hesitantly calls 'friends'. That isn't my main grump though - that would be the fact that said fucktards think it totally OK to leave a young ex-rescue cat locked alone in a house for more than 4 days without food, because the little shit who accidentally went home with the keys couldn't be arsed to bring them back, and the other little shit whose house it was wouldn't even consider breaking in because £door. Needless to say, if I'd been unable to locate number one shit, the door would've been crowbar'd in short order. As it was, the poor thing had pulled a load of empty meat sachets out of the bin, ripped them apart and licked them spotless, and was visibly weak. The only thing that stopped me bringing it home tonight was that, having left plenty of food and water, it would be less distressed staying there another night than coming here to be picked on by my mildly psychotic cats. I will be phoning the RSPCA first thing tomorrow to let them know the score, and if for some reason they can't/won't act, I'll be returning myself to re-home it, no fear.

Posted

Tacky shit? Mrs DW dragged a bit of beech hedge into the house, then covered it in ancient tinsel and lights with actual proper bulbs. That's not a bad way to do Christmas. As I step ever further from the MUST BUY TONS OF SHIT mentality of Christmas, I'm starting to enjoy it more and more. We just try to see people we like and eat lots of chocolate. It's great!

 

 

Now the kids are adults I try and do a minimalist Christmas, we've got a pre lit artificial tree that's up and running in 5 minutes , when they were little I put a lot more effort in , next door neighbours are eccentric , they have cats with antlers on and the scars that go with fitting them 

  • Like 5
Posted

I arrived home nearly 3 hours (and a hundredish miles) after finishing work tonight, thanks to the utterly braindead, cretinous wastes of oxygen that Mrs_Duke hesitantly calls 'friends'. That isn't my main grump though - that would be the fact that said fucktards think it totally OK to leave a young ex-rescue cat locked alone in a house for more than 4 days without food, because the little shit who accidentally went home with the keys couldn't be arsed to bring them back, and the other little shit whose house it was wouldn't even consider breaking in because £door. Needless to say, if I'd been unable to locate number one shit, the door would've been crowbar'd in short order. As it was, the poor thing had pulled a load of empty meat sachets out of the bin, ripped them apart and licked them spotless, and was visibly weak. The only thing that stopped me bringing it home tonight was that, having left plenty of food and water, it would be less distressed staying there another night than coming here to be picked on by my mildly psychotic cats. I will be phoning the RSPCA first thing tomorrow to let them know the score, and if for some reason they can't/won't act, I'll be returning myself to re-home it, no fear.

I liked this for you doing your bit for the cat, obviously not for what had happened to the poor thing. Keep us posted

Posted

I arrived home nearly 3 hours (and a hundredish miles) after finishing work tonight, thanks to the utterly braindead, cretinous wastes of oxygen that Mrs_Duke hesitantly calls 'friends'. That isn't my main grump though - that would be the fact that said fucktards think it totally OK to leave a young ex-rescue cat locked alone in a house for more than 4 days without food, because the little shit who accidentally went home with the keys couldn't be arsed to bring them back, and the other little shit whose house it was wouldn't even consider breaking in because £door. Needless to say, if I'd been unable to locate number one shit, the door would've been crowbar'd in short order. As it was, the poor thing had pulled a load of empty meat sachets out of the bin, ripped them apart and licked them spotless, and was visibly weak. The only thing that stopped me bringing it home tonight was that, having left plenty of food and water, it would be less distressed staying there another night than coming here to be picked on by my mildly psychotic cats. I will be phoning the RSPCA first thing tomorrow to let them know the score, and if for some reason they can't/won't act, I'll be returning myself to re-home it, no fear.

 

 

I'd be locking little shit no1 & no2 in a room for a week or two with no food or water, if it's acceptable for animals then it must be acceptable for them too.

  • Like 6
Posted

Missed out on a free 2004 Focus by a single minute this morning. Was advertised on our community FB page. Arsebiscuits.

Posted

Missed out on a free 2004 Focus by a single minute this morning. Was advertised on our community FB page. Arsebiscuits.

A few years ago I missed a free 60s fiat 500 by 15 minutes

Posted

The theorum that blokes can’t multi-task was put to the test when I popped to the tip at the weekend.

I’d just done my bit to add to the local landfill, hopped back into the car, and had fired up the engine.

Just at that moment, two things happened.

Firstly, my mobile rang, and I answered it.

Simultaneously an old chap struggled past my car, heading to a skip with a large box emblazoned with ‘Scalextric Le Mans’.

I likened my reaction to my experience of a ‘whitey’ following a Robinson’s bottle home-made stoner contraption whilst at uni many years ago. I froze.

I literally couldn’t work out what to do first. Switch off the engine? Put the phone down? Jump out of the car and run after the fella?

It must have become apparent that I was unable to communicate well as the phone call was short lived. However, by that point it was too late, and there’s was no sign of the chap with the Scalextric set. I did have a quick scour around the site, but it was too late.

Gutted!

Posted

The theorum that blokes can’t multi-task was put to the test when I popped to the tip at the weekend.

I’d just done my bit to add to the local landfill, hopped back into the car, and had fired up the engine.

Just at that moment, two things happened.

Firstly, my mobile rang, and I answered it.

Simultaneously an old chap struggled past my car, heading to a skip with a large box emblazoned with ‘Scalextric Le Mans’.

I likened my reaction to my experience of a ‘whitey’ following a Robinson’s bottle home-made stoner contraption whilst at uni many years ago. I froze.

I literally couldn’t work out what to do first. Switch off the engine? Put the phone down? Jump out of the car and run after the fella?

It must have become apparent that I was unable to communicate well as the phone call was short lived. However, by that point it was too late, and there’s was no sign of the chap with the Scalextric set. I did have a quick scour around the site, but it was too late.

Gutted!

 

Liked.  Not for potential carpet/Mulsanne interface opportunity missed but for the image in my head of myself in that position. 

 

John Cleese doing an impression of Clouseau would probably cover it.

  • Like 1
Posted

My girlfriend is a flight attendant from Helsinki. I dropped her off at work the other day and she just vanished into Finnair.

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