UltraWomble Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Trawling the autotrader and the bay of E and there are several things that boil my piss, not the usual first to see will buy - I went to see a 306 this morning, I was the first one to see it as it came in yesterday, I didnt buy it despite the roll of slightly grubby £20's in my pocket, anyway that doesnt boil my urine as much as adverts in ALL CAPITALS like this one in Autotrader: http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201309048615689/sort/locasc/postcode/pr31uu/onesearchad/used%2Cnearlynew%2Cnew/usedcars/price-to/2500/quicksearch/true/maximum-mileage/up_to_45000_miles/radius/1500/page/11/price-from/1000?logcode=p BUY WITH CONFIDENCE A VERY CLEAN EXAMPLE. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH HIGH MILEAGE SCRAP-YARD VERSIONS ADVERTISED ELSEWHERE AS THIS IS A CHERISHED EXAMPLE THAT WILL NOT DISAPPOINT & STANDS OUT FROM THE REST. SUPERB This choice phrase as well as the clear lack of punctuation and the over use of the BRIAN BLESSED key on the keyboard which appear on all his adverts makes me want to hurl bricks through the showroom window. The other one that makes me want to douse my laptop in something flammable and strike a match is the missed digit on the milage so searching for a sub 45000 mile car you get all sorts of shitbags in the search where the declared milage is say 22000 then in the advert it says "actual mileage 422000" on some ex taxi VAG saloon. Cnuts. Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig the Princess Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Hosts of fucked Focuses and Golfs on £120 finance deals when searching the cheap end of eBay or Autotrader advertised at £120. X not included. Well fucking take x off and take another picture. This car is 24 years old so free tax in August. Banger Kenny, Manbearpig, UltraWomble and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asimo Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Listing the car as an automatic then describing it as manual - which it is, and other such dodges to get around the search filters, ie make them useless. Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 First to see will buy MOT just expired, but should pass easy Taxed until April 2015 Junkman, UltraWomble, Steviemillar and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssDeeWon Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Also, the cheapskates on Autotrader selling cars in the sub £1000 section then mentioning in the advert that the car is actually up for £1,995 (Not £995) Well done Mr Bellend, your car will not been seen by people searching for £2k cars, but will be seen by people looking at cars for £1k, But at least you saved a tenner on the advert fee. UltraWomble, rml2345, NorthernMonkey and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volksy Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Barnfind UltraWomble, wuvvum, Paul Dupart and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkman Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 My wife I'm selling this on behalf of a friend who doesn't have a computer She is a fine driving old bus and we have been to many memorable places with her Age related Would suit an enthusiast Banger Kenny, Bamboocarman, UltraWomble and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fordperv Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Never been raced or rallied, one careful owner, age related marks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twosmoke300 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I agree ,age related scuffs and scrapes is the most annoying. Bamboocarman and Junkman 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rml2345 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Also, the cheapskates on Autotrader selling cars in the sub £1000 section then mentioning the in the advert that the car is actually up for £1,995 (Not £995).That irritates me even more than the Brian Blessed advert and blatant lies but it probably shouldn't. Junkman and EssDeeWon 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctormop Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Aircon not working, probably just needs regassing,Have owned car for 2 years but only got new keepers part of log bookPicture not of actual car but one that looks much better than minePicture of interior taken through drivers window as I'm too lazy to open the doorTook us on a family holiday to Tristan da cuhna 5 years ago and never missed a beat. uk_senator, Junkman, Manbearpig and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UltraWomble Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 I agree ,age related scuffs and scrapes is the most annoying.I dunno, at least the seller is being honest as there is bound to be some twunt who pitches up at the car lot expecting a factory fresh 15 YO car for £600. My daily is battered to fuck, not a single panel has escaped some dink, dent, scrape or scab. Luckily one of my kids is having it whereupon it will get more battered and probably covered in stickers. But If I were to sell it I would mention that it is scraped and battered as they dont show up in a typical low res camera phone pic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UltraWomble Posted January 15, 2015 Author Share Posted January 15, 2015 Picture not of actual car but one that looks much better than mine THIS, this very thing - the fecking porn seller of the Liana using a facelift library photos to advertise his shitheap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Also, the cheapskates on Autotrader selling cars in the sub £1000 section then mentioning the in the advert that the car is actually up for £1,995 (Not £995) Well done Mr Bellend, your car will not been seen by people searching for £2k cars, but will be seen by people looking at cars for £1k, But at least you saved a tenner on the advert fee. That irritates me even more than the Brian Blessed advert and blatant lies but it probably shouldn't. On Auto trader report report report, if it's the same dealer doing it over and over contact Auto Trader directly and complain about them. There was one dealer near-ish me selling modern shit people buy for the badge; Minis, Audi's, BMW's, cheap Porsches etc. Every car under £35k had the price set to the deposit the dealer wanted which was often £450 or so, the cheapest car they had at the time was £16k, so obviously with a £1000 or £1500 filter on a car being advertised for £450 that is actually £16k+ is useless. I reported all of their offending adverts once and nothing changed, I did it a second time and it stopped for a bit but when it came back I contacted Auto Trader directly and basically ranted about being shown cars that are irrelevant to my search criteria. That was about six months ago and I haven't seen a single car from that dealer since. I can totally understand people using a library photo if they haven't got photos of their own vehicle yet, an advert with a photo will get more attention than one without I'm sure. EssDeeWon, AnthonyG and catsinthewelder 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HMC Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I tend to dislike overly pretentious adverts. Obviously not common on our sort of cars but these days if people want to ask strong money for any car you often find these phrases poshing up the ad and pushing up the price... POA- size you up and get what they can out of you Provenance- it has a nice history but your going to pay extra for it Recently refreshed- tidied up a bit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SambaS Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I know what it's worth... £500 or I'll bridge it. Needs gone now. Matt, alf892 and Banger Kenny 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alan_Green Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Boilerplate templates that say "We also sell diesel, petrol, and lpg cars vans and crew vans with manual or automatic transmission; have air con or climate control; inverters, night heaters, are cat c or cat d repairables,....blah blah blah...." thereby making keyword searches useless. PS - Crew van with air con wanted. LPG considered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorfolkNWeigh Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Saying shit like ' all extras' , then when you phone up it hasn't got any options at all. It's usually a giveaway when it lists electric windows on something like an S-Class.I was recently looking at either another Chrysler 300 or 5 Series,every fucking 300 ad said Fully Loaded and none had a sunroof or nav. Guess what the only 2 options you can have on a 300 are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorfolkNWeigh Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Oh,I forgotTowbar- never used.Or 'Towbar- only used for bike rack'On a feckin great Land Cruiser or something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doobietoo Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I'm selling this on behalf of a friend who doesn't have a computer Why is this a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
messerschmitt owner Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 PS - Crew van with air con wanted. LPG considered.I have a dispatch combi six seater - diesel - air con not working - probably just needs a regas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakebullet Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Owners club valuation of eleventy million pounds. Barn find, if auction doesn't make what I expect then you don't get wheels, engine, etc. Manbearpig 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakebullet Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Number plate worth 3K cos it spells twat if you add gaffer tape to it. Thus bargain at £2500, even though you'll have to spend 5K to get an mot to get the worthless plate off. Manbearpig 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghosty Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Wanted ads priced £99 on Auto Trader. Likewise - report. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave21478 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Two lines of text describing the car.Fifteen lines of text listing sales terms and conditions. Banger Kenny, chaseracer and Lord Sterling 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkman Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Why is this a problem. Because it is a lie. The truth is he doesn't want to admit that it was him who ran that knackered piece of shit into the ground for the past three years, or did those daft body mods from plaster of Paris. I dunno, at least the seller is being honest as there is bound to be some twunt who pitches up at the car lot expecting a factory fresh 15 YO car for £600. My daily is battered to fuck, not a single panel has escaped some dink, dent, scrape or scab. Luckily one of my kids is having it whereupon it will get more battered and probably covered in stickers. But If I were to sell it I would mention that it is scraped and battered as they dont show up in a typical low res camera phone pic. Still, none of this is age related. Cars don't develop wrinkles with age, like humans do. There are decades old cars out there without the slightest blemish. UltraWomble 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tayne Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Full electric pack Electric windows are standard on almost everything and by the time you move up to mid range you usually get the mirrors as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parky Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 "Norman was born in March 1995 in a factory in La belle France. As a small car he travelled to the UK and set up home in Renault Romford, waiting for the day when his new owners would come and fall in love with him" It's a fucked Clio in the spares or repairs section mate. Just say "Clio, fucked, £150" and save us all some time. Or last week it wouldn't start and I haven't got the time or knowledge to sort it Translation: It is so stuffed that Ed China, Fuzz Townsend, and the beardy one off Fast and Loud spent 72 hours solid on it and have no idea. Sigmund Fraud, barefoot, davidfowler2000 and 13 others 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Station Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Why is this a problem. You're basically buying off an invisible man you will never meet, so makes it easier and possibly non-traceable if something goes wrong. alf892 and Twiggy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skattrd Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 "Offers" State a price. When you put a car up for sale you know what sort of money you're after. Manbearpig, robinmasters, Twiggy and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now