What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[twosmoke300]

My old foreman said I was allowed to use them oninjector pipes, fuel unions and the oxy plant and that was it.

[phil_lihp]

Whoa whoa whoa Adjustable spanner ! What are you a plumber ? Known as nutfuckers in the trade .

 

 

I know, I know, I know!  It was the only thing anywhere big enough.  The whole affair has made me look like an incompetent ape, must try harder!  Had I not had to use the car shortly after, I'd have taken the time to go and buy a BFO spanner to deal with it.

 

In defence of adjustable spanners, I do possess these, which have been very useful a number of times:

 

 

Sold years ago by JML of all companies, they were dirt cheap and are roughly cast but on wide enough nuts they grip very, very well and can be good for rounded off nuts.

[vulgalour]

Hi, have you been injured working in indust-CLICK

 

Good afternoon, I have an exciti-CLICK

 

....... - CLICK

 

DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD CLAIM FOR YOUR DEAFNESS AS A RESU-CLICK

 

 

I have adopted the habit of picking up the receiver and saying nothing at all.  I also tend not to answer the 'phone before 6pm.  Confused the crap out of my gran though, I'd forgotten to tell her I don't speak until spoken to on the telephonical device.

 

My mobile phone might as well be a fancy paperweight these days too as a result of cold calling.  There is nothing at all can be done about it apart from continually hanging up on 001 prefixed numbers, debt collection agencies asking for women who are not me, 'surveys' and the other associated aural junk.

 

Junk mail at least had the satisfaction of stuffing the mail into the provided freepost envelopes at random and posting them back.  Try calling back a call centre and 99% of the time you cannot connect to them.  On the 1% you do manage it you are met with the most perfect confusion on the other end of the line, even had a 'how did you get my number' on one occasion which I have treasured ever since.

[Pillock]

I've had a spate of calls from a number that shows up at 0116xxxxxx in my missed calls. It never seems to ring for long, I've never seen it ringing so it's within reason to ring it back - looks like a Leicester number, it's my work phone, I live in Leicester.

 

Only, when I hit redial on that number, the number it starts to dial is 00116xxxx - that's American isn't it? 00 international dialling code, 1 for america, the rest is the local number.

 

How is that happening?

[Pillock]

Hang on, that was a grump in the grin thread.

 

To balance it out, have the new genuine* John Lewis advert (nsfw)

 

[myglaren]

Whenever I dealt with our Indian call centres as a bank monkey I found them incredibly argumentative and blunt to the point of rudeness. They generated so many complaints that Santander began closing them and moving the contact centres back to the UK. What's worse is that we had an Indian chap at Santander Glasgow who couldn't have been nicer and he kept getting told by customers to transfer them to the UK...

 

I very rarely use the phone but a while back had to ring BT about something.

I was passed to India where I didn't receive much help but was then passed to a very pleasant, polite and extremely helpful guy, clearly Indian.

After going through the problem and resolving it he asked what the weather was like in Washington.

Needless to say I was somewhat confused but said it was bright and sunny.

He said that there was a lot of rain heading my way.

Asked how he knew that, he answered that he was in Gosforth (about ten miles north of here) and it was pissing down.

I was convinced I was still talking to someone in India.

 

[M'coli]

I've had a spate of calls from a number that shows up at 0116xxxxxx in my missed calls. It never seems to ring for long, I've never seen it ringing so it's within reason to ring it back - looks like a Leicester number, it's my work phone, I live in Leicester.

 

Only, when I hit redial on that number, the number it starts to dial is 00116xxxx - that's American isn't it? 00 international dialling code, 1 for america, the rest is the local number.

 

How is that happening?

1471 it, see what it says.

[Inspector Morose]

My old foreman said I was allowed to use them on injector pipes, fuel unions..........

Heathen! Pipe spanners, please!

 

Oxy pipes, alright if you haven't got the BOC spanner/key combo...

[mat_the_cat]

Tomorrow will be the last day in my current job of nearly 8 years (almost half of it spent looking for something better) and it looks like I'll be working from home again. I've only been asked to go in once since I handed in my notice! That's one grin but grin number 2 is that I've put the BX on the road this week and already clocked up over 250 miles

 

And good things come in threes it seems - I don't start until the 17th so have planned to pile some more miles on with a bit of a road trip visiting a few friends and picking up a cheap windscreen for the rolled Disco. Got some tickets for the Levellers too, which will be the 14th time I've seen them live Obsessed, me?

[forddeliveryboy]

He took his car apart to sell the wiper motor, it seems

 

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Volkswagen-Golf-Mk3-Front-Wiper-Motor-And-Linkage-/221593543239?pt=UK_CarsParts_Vehicles_CarParts_SM&hash=item3398012247

[STUNO]

Trigger has become world famous:

And not only in his own mind.

I fired up YOU TUBE today and after the usual wait looked at the screen, there was docker trigger on the front page.

Picture to prove..

Look at life High wide and faster 1963

 

 

[AlabamaShrimp]

^^^I'm subscribed to his channel and never put two and two together that it was trigger from here

[mat_the_cat]

I'm not sure I'd want to publish a screen print of MY front page!

[EssDeeWon]

Guy on the 75 forum offered to GIVE his 2001 75 away this week because a local garage told him it had kettled and was going to be £3000 to put right! THREE GRAND! Anyway some guys on the 75 forum told him to hold fire giving it away and helped him diagnose it.................... a faulty hose! Thats a big grin.

 

These garages should be hunted down, closed down and bulldozed.

[plasticvandan]

a 1975 original cassette of Night at the opera playing through my Panasonic stereo cassette player (with auto reverse) on the trip to work this morning

[panhard65]

Guy on the 75 forum offered to GIVE his 2001 75 away this week because a local garage told him it had kettled and was going to be £3000 to put right! THREE GRAND! Anyway some guys on the 75 forum told him to hold fire giving it away and helped him diagnose it.................... a faulty hose! Thats a big grin.

 

These garages should be hunted down, closed down and bulldozed.

I had similar a couple of years ago. One of the customers I inherited had a pair of rover 75's. The clutch went on the diesel so he asked which would be cheaper to fix. The diesel clutch or the 1.8 petrol that he had been told needed a headgasket by the previous owner of the business. Turns out it was the expansion bottle cap hadn't been fitted correctly. In tank fuel pump killed it off in the end though.

[DVee8]

Watching the Rockford Files on BBC2.

[Bobthebeard]

Noticing that the vet has my dog described as "female lurcher, colour beige" made me grin. A beige dog FTW!

[hairnet]

new bike on monday - thats no 1

 

no 2 is rang the ins to change it over and reg please - yep

 

anything else changed apart from bike - nope

 

expecting to get done for 20-30 quid and their admin charge cos bike is 10 years newer and 4 times more £££

 

yes sir thatll be 25 quid mid term adjust fee please

 

the savings just paid for the tax and mammys gonna get a bottle of wine

[Craig the Princess]

A day of work (which I enjoy for the first job ever) followed by shite collection looms tomorrow.

 

Can't wait

 

(PS it is not for me)

[DS20]

Micratwins

 

[Parky]

Had a nice lunch with ex colleague who wants my cv to put in front of his boss.

 

Met my old oppo for a drink tonight who gave me a 1955 book about flying across the Atlantic. His dad borrowed it from an RAF station in 1966 and forgot to return it. Mine now!

 

Helped a northern family get from Embankment to Russell Square and was invited out for a bevy with them!

 

Gave a fiver to a homeless guy who ran after me to shake my hand as he now had enough for the hostel. Lovely lovely kid.

 

Overall today has been a good day.

[Noel Tidybeard]

i have to pass this fairly regularly with one of the Dr's and we both ffnarr like we're reading a Viz comic

[skattrd]

Insurance renewal has made me grin today, I'm not joking either. 9 cars, all fully comp £472.

I'm with Peter James, I switched from Footman James last year. Their quote was similar to FJ last year, but £200 less this year.

[brickwall]

What's with all the James'?

[drum]

I'm with Peter James too. Once you get to three cars insured, adding more doesn't seem to add much premium. Thumbs up from me.

[dollywobbler]

What's with all the James'?

 

Peter James was the 'James' in Footman James, before leaving and setting up another, smaller insurance company. 

[Albert Ross]

You watch the same Russian crash videos as I do!!! Aren't they utterly mint? I've never seen so much retarded driving in one place.

[Sigmund Fraud]

You watch the same Russian crash videos as I do!!! Aren't they utterly mint? I've never seen so much retarded driving in one place.

 

You haven't been to Rome, then ?

[Richard]

Or St Andrews