What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[hairnet]

if you translate the yellow text

'mouse faced'

🤣

[DSdriver]

Today is the fiftieth anniversary of the last day of me being unmarried.

[High Jetter]

58 minutes ago, DSdriver said:

Today is the fiftieth anniversary of the last day of me being unmarried.

You're either really old or got divorced very young.

[DSdriver]

Today is the day fifty years ago that MrsDS and I got married. Tomorrow will be the day that I was wondering how to remove the colourful stains on the white paintwork of my Triumph 2000 after the confetti had frozen on overnight.

[Metal Guru]

15 hours ago, 808 Estate said:

I don't know any Greek, but I guess they aren't happy.

 

 

 

Do we really need a few old statues that much? Our big  museums all have massive store rooms with thousands of  items not on display , surely we can let a few go? 

[vulgalour]

But if we give the marbles back what next?  We can't just go giving artefacts back to the people we stole them from, where does it end?  There'd be no cultural heritage left to display!

- Sir Barry Bumface, Richtwat-on-the-Hill, Little Britain

[loserone]

We didn't steal them, we bought them and got the paperwork from the ottoman empire to prove it.

[reb]

A Christmas card arrived from a lawyer today

He specialises in technology law, can you tell?

[95 quid Peugeot]

6 minutes ago, loserone said:

We didn't steal them, we bought them and got the paperwork from the ottoman empire to prove it.

Was it proper paperwork or a doctored BMW timing change invoice

[loserone]

2 minutes ago, 95 quid Peugeot said:

Was it proper paperwork or a doctored BMW timing change invoice

Ah, well, that's up for debate.  Perhaps you should contact the ottoman empire to check?

[Rust Collector]

1 minute ago, loserone said:

Perhaps you should contact the ottoman empire

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've always thought that if there isn't a furniture shop out there somewhere that's called 'The Ottoman Empire' then it would be really disappointing.

[castros_bro]

1 hour ago, vulgalour said:

But if we give the marbles back what next?  We can't just go giving artefacts back to the people we stole them from, where does it end?  There'd be no cultural heritage left to display!

- Sir Barry Bumface, Richtwat-on-the-Hill, Little Britain

I'm told by a reliable sauce    that Rich O'soonback was just going to demand the rest of the Pantheon be repatriated to the Museum of Britains  as it was obviously part original purchase BUT the Greek Prime minister decided it was not to be discussed. 

[High Jetter]

9 hours ago, DSdriver said:

Today is the day fifty years ago that MrsDS and I got married. Tomorrow will be the day that I was wondering how to remove the colourful stains on the white paintwork of my Triumph 2000 after the confetti had frozen on overnight.

I wasn't being cruel, but shirley you can only be unmarried if you've been married before - otherwise you're just single!

Anyway, Happy Anniversary. 🍺🍷🎉

[DSdriver]

10 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

I wasn't being cruel, but shirley you can only be unmarried if you've been married before - otherwise you're just single!

Anyway, Happy Anniversary. 🍺🍷🎉

Thank you, the celebration is about to begin! I had read your post with the humour that you intended. 

[Markeh]

I don't know why a pub in Nottingham has a painting of Clare Balding on the wall but it certainly made me laugh.

[beko1987]

Sold an old Hoover I paid £20 at the car boot a few years ago for £400 earlier! 

That's Christmas saved 😂🎄 Buyer is happy too, apparently with this machine he has an example of every single Hoover vacuum ever made, and several nos parts for it like a brand new bag which tbh it does need

[808 Estate]

[reb]

If I win the thunderball tomorrow, this collection mission (for a specific car) will happen.

[SgtWilson]

Mmm. 4 war zones. Maybe 5 if the Serbs kick off. Check out the insurance (you'll need a lottery win). Good luck!

[wuvvum]

Yeah, sod that for a game of skittles.  Fly to Nairobi, drive the car down to Mombasa and stick it on a ship, then fly home - less exciting but at least you have a better than even chance of making it back in one piece.

[Metal Guru]

4 hours ago, Markeh said:

I don't know why a pub in Nottingham has a painting of Clare Balding on the wall but it certainly made me laugh.

That’s Steve Bruce!

[320touring]

In the past two days, I've done 950 miles to collect two cars. Spent two days in the company of top shiters @jaypee and @Lacquer Peel, and had an absolute blast!

Two highlights happened on the same road. Last night, the sunset on the a66 was absolutely glorious, and this evening, I was pretending to be going at warp speed in the snow.

In short, go have fun doing a drive, enjoy mates company and BUY ALL THE CARS🤣

[gm]

i went for a walk while my tyres were being fitted yesterday, happened across this happy family of snowmen 

 

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, gm said:

i went for a walk while my tyres were being fitted yesterday, happened across this happy family of snowmen 

 

Is that an Iceland trolley?

[gm]

proof, if ever it was needed, that we’re all on the same (obscure) wavelength - i thought exactly the same thing and checked  

sadly, it wasn’t  

still, well done to the kids that made them

 

[Metal Guru]

4 hours ago, High Jetter said:

Is that an Iceland trolley?

Hope it’s not a Tesco one. Might be needed to rescue someone from a well with a string of sausages . wTF?

[Neil clark]

On 29/11/2023 at 16:51, hairnet said:

Merry Christmas to me

Got myself the same for the 25th!

[dome]

[eddyramrod]

I had to laugh the other day...  Watching A Place In The Sun, and they were looking in Cyprus; specifically the Paphos area.  Well obviously I was interested because that's where we used to live.  And then for house 3 or 4, the caption came up... Koili.  Well that was only the first village we lived in!  Way up on top of the hill, not far off the main road north out of Paphos; so high that we could actually look down on the clouds!  The presenter then introduced the segment, calling the village "Coyly."  Except it isn't.  You pronounce it "Killy" as in Ted Crilly.

Didn't recognise the house though, it was buried in the heart of the village, whereas we were out on the edge with open fields in front of us.

[myglaren]