What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Kiltox]

kbonney88 on here is a top bloke - I've fucked him around to no end with the sale of my shonky 216 yet like a true shiter he has taken it in his stride and told me to let him know what the score is once the many problems are resolved because he still wants to buy it!

[eddyramrod]

Carry On Cabby was on the other day, my all-time favourite Carry On.  MrsR was telling me she'd never seen it.... her memory must be faulty, I'm sure it's been shown in the 19 years we've been married!

 

Amanda Barrie with a mk1 Cortina, mmmmmmmmm..........

 

And then that splendid choreography at the end, with all those taxis!

[wuvvum]

I have just made myself some absolutely cracking pancakes, even if I do say so myself.  For the first time since I can remember, the first one of the night came out as a decent pancake, rather than an amorphous blob of half-cooked batter - I must have finally got the fugging oil hot enough this year.  Only managed 3 as I'd just eaten a pizza, but that polished off the bottle of batter which was supposed to make 6 (my frying pan is large).

 

I love pancakes.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Tonight's gourmet tea was...

 

 

Mince beef was shit but cheese was good! Shrimp Jr hated them

[LC Torana]

I know this is a Melbourne pub staple, but it still makes me giggle even now...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0lhXObeHvQ

 

If the lyrics from 1:20-1:40 don't make you laugh, you're made of stone (or have never been to an Australian pub).

[captain_70s]

I've been in Glasgow for the last week, have come back with considerably less money and the keys to a flat.

 

I now have 1 house, 1 flat, 3 cars and no job. This can only end well.

[twosmoke300]

Fit in well in Glasgow I would say 

*ducks and runs

[bub2006]

My other car is a Ferrari.

[The Moog]

I know it is a story from the Daily Mail  but made me chuckle. I wouldnt put it past Cav to be the one doing it ... calls the a selfish throbber, cock womble,  spunk trumpet! 

 

If the next note is "2 bucket wrongun" I will claim my five pounds! 

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4270532/Inconsiderate-parker-returns-car-rude-note.html 

[twosmoke300]

That's brilliant but a personal fave of mine is the page out of a colouring book with a note saying that 5 year olds also have trouble staying in the lines so here's an elephant to help you practice

[Ghosty]

[Bren]

I did'nt know Mercedes did contraception.

[xkjagnz]

I did'nt know Mercedes did contraception.

If they did it would be fucking expensive and probably wouldn't work

BTW spunk trumpet/Thundercunt/cockwomble are all military type abuse so expect he is from RNAS Yeovilton

PPS female equiv of cockwomble is a cuntmuppet

[doobietoo]

Cost of car tax as a one off payment.... £126.50

Cost of car tax as a 6 monthly DD.........£120.75 + 2 weeks before the money comes out.....

 

 

 

[dome]

I've been in Glasgow for the last week, have come back with considerably less money and the keys to a flat.

 

I now have 1 house, 1 flat, 3 cars and no job. This can only end well.

All this just so you can come to the next Scotoshite meet? Good job!

[cms206]

I've been in Glasgow for the last week, have come back with considerably less money and the keys to a flat.

 

I now have 1 house, 1 flat, 3 cars and no job. This can only end well.

If you need a hand with stuff at this end I'm sure the lads will be happy to assist.

 

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

[Richard]

Cost of car tax as a one off payment.... £126.50

Cost of car tax as a 6 monthly DD.........£120.75 + 2 weeks before the money comes out.....

 

 

 

Cost of letting the DVLA have your bank details- every penny you have and some you don't.

[Snipes]

4 years after starting college, and 18 months in the trade, I am now on more money than I was in my previous profession.

[stephen01]

I get the keys to my new *house tomorrow.

 

it's actually a bunglaow, which is not yest a bungalow as it's a Dr's surgery! Once the keys are in my hand I'll get some shite pictures up!

[xtriple]

I just asked the dental nurse at my surgery if she wanted to be a model! She obviously now thinks I am a perve of the first order and to e avoided at all costs, but I did stress it was 'kosher' and for a prestigeous Photo Mag and there was no 'funny business' involved or taking clothes off sort of shit.

 

It really is: Mark is always looking for attractive people, preferably with a 'story' on their fizzog so not too young or balnd. Christ, he even used me once!

 

What made me grin was the simple fact I did it, I was sort of scared I'd 'bottle it' but I didn't. I am still a cheeky bastard even though ancient!

[andy18s]

You are Ben Dover AICMFP.....

[doobietoo]

Cost of letting the DVLA have your bank details- every penny you have and some you don't.

The point is I can cancel the direct debit as soon as the payment goes out and save money. ...

[fordperv]

Xtriple you could start a porn thing similar to fake taxi with your bentley fake chauffeur got a ring to it that has

[anonymous user]

I get the keys to my new *house tomorrow.

 

it's actually a bunglaow, which is not yest a bungalow as it's a Dr's surgery! Once the keys are in my hand I'll get some shite pictures up!

Is this now an autoshite thing, how many of us does that make now living in former surgeries? All the best with it and you'll soon get used to the odd items of odd post

[NorfolkNWeigh]

 

You know that thing about owners looking like their dogs ?

Well this scruffy looking pair are the car version.

[richardmorris]

Xtriple you could start a porn thing similar to fake taxi with your bentley fake chauffeur got a ring to it that has

 

"Do you want to come home and look at my Bentley?"

[Inspector Morose]

I can now fart without, erm, repercussions.

After four days of being frightened to, this is an important thing.

[hairnet]

thats a larf right there but trust me its not

 

hope it sorts itself

[Cavcraft]

If you play the game with the DVLA, their 'new' tax system is actually ace.

[Honey Badger]

1994 day on Radio 6, top quality tunes so far. First track of the day was Do you Remember the first time by Pulp, it will not get much better than that all day.

 

I wouldnt like the fashions back but I would happily swap my knackered 41 year old spine for my supple 19 year old one