What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[The Moog]

My first paper in an academic journal is published today - I may have spent the morning telling Missus Snagglepuss that as I am now an eccentric academic I can do what I want, which has resulted in learning more scottish swearwords than I knew existed   

[SRi05]

Shite behind shite 

[Aston Martin]

Alan Partridge mode: 

Idea for a television show.

 

I don't watch Love Island obviously. But I would watch Slag House.... 30 slappers and 30 lads.... most acquired from a random jobcentre.  (ASBO preferable) Set in a 3 bed council house.

[Fumbler]

Snazzoids

[iainrcz]

Just checked my emails. One of my "sign up for random shit" accounts had this beauty sat waiting for me.

 

I dream of making love to you slowly like turtles…

 

Regina <[email protected]>

Wed 10/07/2019 14:29

Greetings, my dear! I hope to find a great passion and I’m twenty three years old. Do you wish to know how many play things it's possible to put inside my bum? Perhaps you might want to help me in this? Get in touch with me faster, my body need to have a warm fingers! My pictures and personal contacts are in my personal profile! look here

 

Nearly spat tea on my monitor.

[MondeoBlues]

Took the 309 out for a spin. So far it hasn't failed to put a smile on my face.

I might give it a name.

[Aston Martin]

An engine with wheels.

 

 

[New POD]

Son, who was having so much shite in his first year as a teacher and resigned to finish at the end of term, has got on the PWC graduate scheme as an trainee auditor leading to become a chartered accountant and eventually managed to pass his NQT so if he ever wanted to do private tutoring, it would be easier.  

Just waiting on daughter's pre-reg exam results next week to find out if after 5 years of study, she's a fully qualified pharmacist or if she has to retake. 

The exam appears to be mental.  They could be asked anything. Some of the answers? 2 out of 4 are right. But one of those is more right  pass Mark is 90% I think. 

[Wack]

On 6/29/2019 at 9:23 AM, twosmoke300 said:

Why do vegans have to let you know that they are ?

Much like pilots in my experience.

You're not wrong about pilots

You can't tow anything with a Mustang, not approved to tow in the EU but that hasn't stopped a few numpties importing a tow bar from the US , one guy was asking about towing so I pointed out that it wasn't legal and you're probably voiding your insurance

Oh I wasn't going to tow my glider with it

 

How do you know if somebody has read Game Of Thrones, oh they'll tell you , just wait

[twosmoke300]

Is that like mustang owners ? ??

[Wack]

4 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

Is that like mustang owners ? ??

I don't need to tell anybody , they can hear it coming then when it's in sight it blinds them

[MorrisItalSLX]

I don’t think there were quite enough stamps on this package I received today.

 

 

Most of them date from the mid-eighties!

 

[Stanky]

42 minutes ago, MorrisItalSLX said:

I don’t think there were quite enough stamps on this package I received today.

 

 

Most of them date from the mid-eighties!

 

is #2 from right on the third row down Rolf Harris?

[MorrisItalSLX]

is #2 from right on the third row down Rolf Harris?

I don’t think so, just a generic 1980s spectacles wearing Dad.

[face]

Non-shite fan usage.

 

[SiC]

11 hours ago, Wack said:

I don't need to tell anybody , they can hear it coming then when it's in sight they see it going sideways into a wall

FTFY because according to the interwebs, all modern Mustangs in this world eventually end up crashing into something. 

[iainrcz]

Just helped the old lad get his iveco home after it snapped it's throttle cable.
We jammed it open just enough to trickle home at 15/20 mph.

With a broken clothes peg

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[busmansholiday]

So, whilst looking at how much the house just the road is from where SiL lives, do you answer her her comment when she saw the price of "fuck me"!

 

 

 

[cort16]

[angle]

Just stopped the guy on my road that owns the XM (it must be the shitest one that's still road legal). 

'Sorry, just thought I'd let you know your sunroof's open' 

'Ah yes, you see none of the windows work so I thought I'd air it. Anyway, it's pointing uphill, so even if it rains not much water will get in. Of course, if I park it facing downhill then it leaks whether its open or not...' 

CITROEN LIFE

[Cheggers]

So, whilst looking at how much the house just the road is from where SiL lives, do you answer her her comment when she saw the price of "fuck me"!
 
 
 

Eh?

[Ghosty]

Applied to be apprentice bike mechanic.

Tell mate that's in the cycling scene, gets me a reference in exchange for a week or so of work experience in a different, one-man bike shop.

Head down, take my most recent bike build with me as quasi-CV.

One and a half hours in I'm asked if I can run the shop for two weeks next month while the owner's on holiday, paid.

 

[strangeangel]

6 hours ago, Ghosty said:

Applied to be apprentice bike mechanic.

Tell mate that's in the cycling scene, gets me a reference in exchange for a week or so of work experience in a different, one-man bike shop.

Head down, take my most recent bike build with me as quasi-CV.

One and a half hours in I'm asked if I can run the shop for two weeks next month while the owner's on holiday, paid.

 

 

Nice one Max! Result.

[Wack]

16 hours ago, cort16 said:

That's an existing owner with a wrap , that thing he's holding is a plunger with ACME written on it

[Wack]

12 hours ago, Ghosty said:

Applied to be apprentice bike mechanic.

Tell mate that's in the cycling scene, gets me a reference in exchange for a week or so of work experience in a different, one-man bike shop.

Head down, take my most recent bike build with me as quasi-CV.

One and a half hours in I'm asked if I can run the shop for two weeks next month while the owner's on holiday, paid.

 

Trustworthy face

[robinmasters]

OEM+ (I'm down with the kids) AX the wild. 

[Tenmil Socket]

3 minutes ago, robinmasters said:

OEM+ (I'm down with the kids) AX the wild. 

That is flippin' fantastic...

[Frogchod]

Attestation of conformity has arrived for the Buick

It'll soon be on French plates

 

[hairnet]

told conan im planning stuff again

cue links to kaidee for 100% grade a rammel

fecker

305 that has a toytota engine

saab 9000

he is evil

[Timewaster]

 

 

I'm posting this with a heavy heart... 

Car collecting has been part of my life for decades and as much as I love my car collection and adding to it and enjoy the constant fettling, it takes up too much of my time and I am struggling to keep up with the everyday basics such as cleaning and maintaining my home, so something has to give. 

I will be re-homing my collection 


Please don't ask any questions, as I can't handle talking about it. 





Below is a list of what's available. All FREE of charge, but to good homes only. Serious enquiries only please. 




Thanks for reading and understanding . . . . 
.... 
.... 
.... 


1. Dustpan and brush 
2. Sponges 
3. Dusters 
4. Mop and bucket 
5. Window cleaner 
6. Hoover 
7. Dishwashing liquid 
8. Laundry detergent 
9. Fabric softener 
10. Laundry baskets 
11. Toilet brush 
12. Cleaning sprays 
13. Scrubbing brushes (various)