What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[beko1987]

If you're not using ethically sourced extra virgin olive oil in the car Sam you're just an earth raping, sunflower hating bastard.

My cars not that much of a ponce. Even we don't use extra virgin olive oil!

 

Coconut oil might produce a pleasing smell out of the exhaust though. I'll have a better look on the shelf next time

[beko1987]

Cars can run on nut oil? And to think I've been getting rid of mine in a tissue all these years.

No officer, this isn't what it looks like, I'm getting free fuel...

[Sheefag]

Cars can run on nut oil? And to think I've been getting rid of mine in a tissue all these years.

 

That's what the Sock Filter's for.

[dollywobbler]

It's Hot Rod Drag Week. So far, I've seen both a Dodge Omni and a Suzuki Vitara hit 130mph at the quarter mile. Brilliant.

[cort1977]

Jalopnik waxing lyrical about Panda vans.   http://jalopnik.com/an-unashamed-fan-letter-to-the-fiat-panda-van-1786592212

 

That guy is  bit of an unknowing shiter is some ways, runs an S-class on a shoe string.

[Jazoli]

 

My cat, back in my house after disappearing over 2 years ago, spotted him on a local FB pets group

 

Grins all round although I have some impressive cat related injuries

 

 

[Pillock]

He looks happy to be home!

 

Had he been taken in or just roaming for two years? I have a sleep-free night when ours stays out, thankfully he's a creature who is totally led by his stomach so if he's not been fed by 9am he's weaving between your legs most likely.

[Tayne]

Jalopnik waxing lyrical about Panda vans.   http://jalopnik.com/an-unashamed-fan-letter-to-the-fiat-panda-van-1786592212

 

That guy is  bit of an unknowing shiter is some ways, runs an S-class on a shoe string.

 

 

 

Were they ever sold in the UK?

 

I've seen one up this way but I don't know if it was an imported left hooker or an original.

[Jazoli]

He looks happy to be home!

 

Had he been taken in or just roaming for two years? I have a sleep-free night when ours stays out, thankfully he's a creature who is totally led by his stomach so if he's not been fed by 9am he's weaving between your legs most likely.

He was well pissed off but is happy now, he slept in someone's garden for 18 months then made his way inside gradually, I never got round to de-bollocking him but it's happening this week, he is huge and must weigh 8kgs, his head is bigger than my fist and I have big hands, he's managed to kick the shit out of me!

 

My cat, back in my house after disappearing over 2 years ago, spotted him on a local FB pets group

 

Grins all round although I have some impressive cat related injuries

 

 

[Tayne]

I never got round to de-bollocking him

 

he is huge and must weigh 8kgs,

 

his head is bigger than my fist and I have big hands,

 

he's managed to kick the shit out of me!

 

 

 

You would have been better talking him to the vet's for the de-bollocking.

[Ghosty]

Sitting at some traffic lights in a dip. An empty lwb Fuso Canter flatbed bombs down the hill opposite, flies through the lights, and up the short, fairly steep incline that's an entry to a dual carriageway, with a bit of interesting camber to boot. 

 

It was going that fast it left the ground, and the camber meant the whole thing was flexing in the air! 

[Guest Hooli]

Our power has been off all day because they've been cutting down trees around the power lines. Coming home I noticed they'd not cleared up a few sticks, so loaded the car up...

 

 

Then went back for more...

 

 

Should keep the Rayburn fed for a while.

 

 

Should this be in the scavenging thread?

[Cavcraft]

I've taken all the environmental considerations into erm, consideration, and I'm still going to go to Costco for veg oil when I need it.

[Tickman]

Speaking to a neighbour today and he was telling me how his 04 Laguna was giving central locking problems, not locking the drivers door.

Why in the grin thread?

He has had it for 12 years and this is the first electrical issue he has had! 

[Guest Hooli]

I'll swap with him, mine isn't unlocking the rear doors this week.

[Supernaut]

Managing to work a Monty Python reference into a support call I logged with HP.

 

Those guys in the Indian call centre probably won't get it at all though.

[dave21478]

The arrogant, know-everything, right wing bellend a few doors down for all his faults has generally impressive taste in cars, with a trio of Panhards, including a Dyna X.

 

He has just bought a Barbie-pink vw Beetle.

[Cavcraft]

I'll swap with him, mine isn't unlocking the rear doors this week.

I get that problem sometimes. Usually some £5 petrol station flowers does the trick.

[fordperv]

a bugbear of mine is people leaving dogs in cars when its warm without sufficient cooling, i saw this on a carpark to a shop i was going into and i wanted to shake the owners hand, this is how to leave a dog in a car, all 4 windows were down as far as they could go

 

[RoadworkUK]

Grump or Grin? Not sure.

 

Has anybody seen the advert for 'Now That's What I Call Drivetime' with its voiceover by not-yet disgraced former DJ Mark 'Now That's What I Call Another Paycheck'  Goodier?

 

If any of the songs on this foetid pustule of a CD were to emanate from my stereo I'd smash it repeatedly with an AA Book Of The Road. Or, at the very least I'd change the radio station.

 

Especially poxy 'Dancing in the Moonlight'.

 

Just follow the next 65-plate Audi A1 you see with its windows down. The radio will be tuned to Heart FM and if it's loud enough you'll be able to hear the exact same terrible music for free.

[John F]

After two very hot days' work my Disco's n/s/f swivel & hub is built back up, the badly-binding o/s/f and o/s/r callipers have been freed off, the massively oil-contaminated handbrake drum & mechanism have been dismantled & cleaned and the handbrake has been adjusted – six whole days ahead of the MOT due date

 

The only slight grump is that the tracking is well out after the work, but that's probably because it was set up with the collapsed upper kingpin bearing last time I did it. I'll sort that out over the next few days.

 

Knackered but pleased... I intend to celebrate with an unwise amount of beer this evening

[Supernaut]

Be careful if the tracking's out then. Don't want to crash into another car, like a Picasso, for example.

[tooSavvy]

He looks happy to be home!

 

 

Ha... Looks like a guy pulled out of a Glasgow pub by the missus... ragged home and sat down with NO White Supper !!

 

TS

[Supernaut]

[blakey79]

I get that problem sometimes. Usually some £5 petrol station flowers does the trick.

Thanks, just spilt my dinner over myself laughing at that.

[Ghosty]

Grump or Grin? Not sure.

 

Has anybody seen the advert for 'Now That's What I Call Drivetime' with its voiceover by not-yet disgraced former DJ Mark 'Now That's What I Call Another Paycheck'  Goodier?

 

If any of the songs on this foetid pustule of a CD were to emanate from my stereo I'd smash it repeatedly with an AA Book Of The Road. Or, at the very least I'd change the radio station.

 

Especially poxy 'Dancing in the Moonlight'.

 

Just follow the next 65-plate Audi A1 you see with its windows down. The radio will be tuned to Heart FM and if it's loud enough you'll be able to hear the exact same terrible music for free.

 

Just looked up the full tracklisting.

 

A better title would be Leased White Corsa: The Album.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Totally not car related but made me almost piss myself when MrsN told me today.

 

She was given the details of a baby that she may be matching to a couple for adoption.

Typical sad story , born to a crack addict so lots of problems , but developing ok.

Anyway on the paperwork all its measurements except the head are at 20 percentile, which is to be expected. The head is 80 which is very unusual, she even checked to make sure there was no medical reason connected with crack etc.

Then she looked at the photos, did I mention the child was black? Or had an impressive Afro going on?

Some fuckwit had measured round his hair!

You couldn't make it up.

[Tayne]

Children's backpacks, you say?

 

 

[Tayne]

Also, the chap who hit my car last week gave me money this evening.

[Lacquer Peel]

I've taken all the environmental considerations into erm, consideration, and I'm still going to go to Costco for veg oil when I need it.

How much is it at Costco these days?