What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Tamworthbay]

Just got back off holiday. Had a okish pizza from the Bridge grill in Looe, on the menu was a 'sexy burger', I just had to ask why, apparently if you add donner meat to a burger it becomes sexy, fook knows why but made me laugh.

[Pillock]

We had a guy bring back a fridge freezer to one of our stores, big double door thing. He'd bought it earlier, "girlfriend has gone mental, never even got it in the house, can I have a refund?"

 

Just about to get his refund, cashier decides to check it even though it's sealed, and there's basically a few breezeblocks and some chopped up doors to fill the box out.

 

Man legs it.

[fordperv]

Just got back off holiday. Had a okish pizza from the Bridge grill in Looe, on the menu was a 'sexy burger', I just had to ask why, apparently if you add donner meat to a burger it becomes sexy, fook knows why but made me laugh.

Never heard it called a sexy burger, but add donner meat and an egg to a cheeseburger and you've got a fantastic munch

[Cavcraft]

280 miles on the nail, two stops about half a tank of juice...

 

[doobietoo]

Maxed out on the autobahn

[xtriple]

My new telly box makes me grin. Watched loads of good films - Deadpool (hilarious) Gods of Egypt (good) Imitation game (excellent) Lucy (good) The Intern (really good) Minions (good) and loads more. £50 well spent... for once!

[Tamworthbay]

My new telly box makes me grin. Watched loads of good films - Deadpool (hilarious) Gods of Egypt (good) Imitation game (excellent) Lucy (good) The Intern (really good) Minions (good) and loads more. £50 well spent... for once!

which one is it?

[Skizzer]

Picked the Jag up this morning, all fixed and MOTd.  It goes and stops like it's supposed to now.

 

I'm a bit* happy with it.

 

 

Proper post with pics tomorrow.  Didn't want to stop driving and get out to take photos today.

[DVee8]

309 miles to half a tank of diesel.

[HillmanImp]

Shit the bed. I had left Imp Jr playing with my phone and when I got it back, for a split second I thought he had bought a brown Morris Ital estate.

 

 

By the time I noticed the "sorry, you missed out on this item" I had already broken into a panic sweat.

[skattrd]

I think you need to give Imp Jnr the phone more often if he's bidding on Itals ... Just keep him away from the psp ads.

[purplebargeken]

FINALLY! Managed to actually purchase a repair panel for the Amazons rear O/S wheel arch.

[Richard]

I saw an Amazon with L plates today. I wonder if learning in a classic is becoming a "thing".

[richardmorris]

On the way back from Chichester over the South Downs in the 2cv, I was being held up by a White RR sport with Chavy plate. D11100001 or something. Anyway, I overtook it (downhill obviously), but she was really dawdling and somewhat surprised to be passed by a fully loaded roofless 2cv with boot box at 60mph with classic fm blasting William W-altons 633 squadron out of the speakers.

[anonymous user]

Shit the bed. I had left Imp Jr playing with my phone and when I got it back, for a split second I thought he had bought a brown Morris Ital estate.

 

Screenshot_2016-06-05-10-38-43.png

 

By the time I noticed the "sorry, you missed out on this item" I had already broken into a panic sweat.

It's not so long ago Ted my spaniel nudged me when I was looking at a Jensen Interceptor on ebay, fortunately there is an "are you really, really, sure" bit after the buy it now is pressed so I did not have to apologise or grovel to the vendor. Actually, as I hate to cause offence or inconvenience, I would probably have felt obliged to go through with it.

[HillmanImp]

Actually, as I hate to cause offence or inconvenience, I would probably have felt obliged to go through with it.

If and when this actually happens I will too. Lets hope he doesn't accidentally buy a Vauxhall.

[mat_the_cat]

I went to a French car boot sale today, and bought this for €4:

 

 

A plastic case, containing a foldable barbecue...

 

 

What appealed was the quality of it - none of your modern pressed steel rubbish here but a proper cast iron base, with a stainless steel wind break and side plates which are a couple of mm thick!

 

 

The hinge screws are drilled and tapped into the metalwork, and the whole thing feels bombproof. Much more satisfying than those £2.99 disposable ones. Ideal for the van, and I'll probably be bringing it down to SF for testing purposes

 

EDIT - they also had brand new 205 driveshafts for €15, and ones for a Renault 9/11 for €20. I did wonder about stocking up to sell on eBay!

[Cavcraft]

Sounds ridiculous, but I smoked an E-Type Jag off at the lights before in my 405. He'd been on my bumper for a bit flashing his lights at me so like last night I just slowed down a bit. Came to two lanes at the lights, he shot into the right hand one and to be fair mustn't have expected me to even bother trying to have him off, and by the time he twigged it went back to one lane and he was behind me. The inner dickhead in me found it highly amusing.

[robinmasters]

Evidently the Lada Samara was based on plans smuggled out via East Berlin in 1982.

[robinmasters]

Turns out my wife is actually proud of my shite-buying skills. Visited my parents today, and she was insisting I tell her about my latest cheap-but-works purchase. It seems my dad thinks I'm some sort of car-buying genius too, but he also owned up to watching Wheeler Dealers so obviously his views should be taken with a pinch of salt.

 

If only they knew how much I spent on roffles and running repairs.

[M'coli]

The gov.uk website says that due to the year I passed my car test in, I do not require a CBT to ride a moped.

 

This information could be dangerous.

[panhard65]

The gov.uk website says that due to the year I passed my car test in, I do not require a CBT to ride a moped.

 

This information could be dangerous.

Speak to me in 2 weeks time I might be able to help you out.

I am bringing 3 of these back from France all 3 are slightly different and will probably be at shitefest although I do have a punter on the blue one who wants to see it as soon as it arrives.

[burraston2006]

The gov.uk website says that due to the year I passed my car test in, I do not require a CBT to ride a moped.

 

This information could be dangerous.

 

Just checked- I don't either!

Now, how do I explain to the millstone that I need a slowped?

[andy18s]

Do yourself a favour,do your CBT and get out on a decent bike.......

A 50cc is not a machine I'd wish my worst enemy with on today's roads.... you need something that at least has a chance of keeping up with (most) traffic

[trigger]

I've also checked but still don't understand it!.

 

You can drive motor vehicles with fewer than 4 wheels with a maximum design speed exceeding 45 kilometres per hour (km/h) but not exceeding 50km/h and which, if propelled by an internal combustion engine, has a cylinder capacity not exceeding 50cc

[Wilko220]

It appears that, for reasons completely unknown and mysterious, I have been ejected from the Autoshite Facebook group. I AM BAD BOI.

 

I've always assumed the crazy, fun guys who run it aren't on here? Or am I mistaken?

[daveb47]

It appears that, for reasons completely unknown and mysterious, I have been ejected from the Autoshite Facebook group. I AM BAD BOI.

 

I've always assumed the crazy, fun guys who run it aren't on here? Or am I mistaken?

Nowt to do with us.......

[MarvinsMom]

coming home from the Mini and Metro show at Gaydon yesterday, we passed an old boy on the A42 driving one of these.

 

 

similar colour scheme and body style as this, and pottering along in the inside lane.

 

what a legend, thinking about seeing this cheery little car running wild and free yesterday still makes me want to smile.

[M'coli]

Do yourself a favour,do your CBT and get out on a decent bike.......

A 50cc is not a machine I'd wish my worst enemy with on today's roads.... you need something that at least has a chance of keeping up with (most) traffic

I'm in Bristol during the week, it'll be fine...

[Pillock]

Walking past Mothercare at lunchtime, lady comes over to me and asks if I can help..... gestures towards a newish Corsa, "I've locked my keys in the car".

"OK" says I, "Do you wanna use my phone?"

Starts looking a bit panicked.... then she points to her baby in a car seat. Seemingly it was open passenger door, keys on passenger seat, baby in car seat, slam door, walk around to drivers door..... FAIL. Tried ringing her fella anyway but no answer.

 

So it's 26 degrees, mum is starting to get a bit stressed, can't leave the baby. Thankfully I'd just seen two coppers in a marked 530d pulling into Maccys Drive-thru two minutes earlier so I pegged it over, caught them just as they were pulling out. "Sorry lads, don't like interrupting your dinner but there's a lady in a state with her baby locked in the car...." they zoomed over, I pointed the car out to them and left them to it.

 

They didn't seem to mess around, half an hour later when I walked back to work there was no car, no police, just some glass on the floor. I guess it was too long to wait for breakdown so they popped the opposite window. So fair play to the police for not minding me delaying their Big Macs.