The grumpy thread

[saucedoctor]

Cheers EssDee.

[cort16]

I've got a white Nissan juke ( I know), try finding that in a car park there are fucking billions of them .

[HillmanImp]

Was there not a flight blocked from taking off this week because there was a phone on board with a wifi hot spot called terrorist network.

Yeah, i forgot about that

 

http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-29801207

[mercrocker]

I realise my earlier posts make me sound like I need a full time carer but I was genuinely very disorientated. I came out of the wrong side of the building and headed straight for the (wrong) tree and then I didn't know what was going on. 

Did exactly the same at Gatwick once.....I was CONVINCED I had the right bus stop, the right "D" area on the right lamp post.  I even took a picture before I left the car.  Came back from Spain and was two fingers away from calling the cops to report my Merc missing.   I should have realised there was a parallel micro-universe....

[KruJoe]

I've got a white Nissan juke

You're dead to me.

[KruJoe]

Sorry, that's a bit harsh. But you have a Nissan Puke... WTF is wrong with you man?

[cort16]

I couldn't get a pt cruiser

[drum]

Celebrities. That graham Norton was on the box while I was surfing the interweb last night. Why are the general public expected to be interested /entertained by the inane waffle and amusing* anecdotes of actors and the like? Would these celebs be interested in my life?

 

That irritated me, but what has compelled me to grump is the musical item at the end. A woman sang while facing the back wall while another woman danced and made exaggerated facial expressions to the lyrics. It was excruciating, cringeworthy and one of the most pretentious attention seeking things I've seen, ever. Norton interviewed the singer who remained facing the wall, hiding her face. Why was she doing this? Because she doesn't want to be famous!

The most disingenuous gimmickry I have witnessed in ages. Get some normal people on telly.

[Richard]

I didn't see it because my wife was out last night, but it can't have been worse than that mardy prick from Maroon 5 last week.

[Richard]

That facing the back nonsense would work a lot better if she hadn't been on the go for years and produced a heavily marketed video featuring her face for the whole time.

 

[chaseracer]

That's why I could never own a hotel or restaurant or something: the moment some gobshite uttered those lines, they'd be on the street wearing their suitcase or dinner. Possibly both.

 

Billy and staff, yesterday (TooSavvy on R)...

 

 

[myglaren]

Boiler serviced yesterday, bloke said someone would have to come and fit a bracket to the flue in the attic.

They said that three years ago and nothing happened.

He was about to condemn the cooker that my son was cooking his dinner on as the knobs are all gone bar one.

 

They cost £13 each and last a few months, made of compressed shite.

We just turn the brass axles bar the top oven/grill that we use an Halfords Professional stainless steel pair of pliers (haven't a clue where they came from) to operate.

 

Postie tried to deliver a book yesterday but couldn't as gas man had checked the meter then locked the services cupboard door and put the key in the house.

The services cupboard where postie leaves things too big for the letterbox, he knows that the key is always left in there and posts it through the letterbox.

 

Therefore had to go to the sorting office, only a mile or so away but the office was filled with poison gas - or more likely deodorant, cue coughing and gasping for half an hour before I could drive home.

 

Opened the book, "Luftslottet Som Sprengtes"   Should have been Luftslottet Som Sprängdes" ( Norwegian, not Swedish, bit harder for me to read)  (The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest).

 

Just bought the Swedish one for £2.80 though

[dollywobbler]

Sodding weather. It has been glorious all morning, while I was working. Decided to take a break and get a bit of wood cut - naturally it starts persisting it down. Gah! Electric chainsaw and rain not a good combo. 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Billy and staff, yesterday (TooSavvy on R)...

 

 

Is it just my dirty mind,or does it look like Basil is ,ahem, servicing* his staff ? Looks like Sybil's had hers and Manuel is less than sure about the idea.

[tooSavvy]

tooSavvy... wha?

 

TS

[HH-R]

Stupid modern cars.

 

I need to drain the coolant out of my Panda to change the knackered thermostat.

 

There is a stupid "quick release" connector that is IMPOSSIBLE to remove. It's not even clear what you're meant to do with it, but by looking at pictures on the net you're meant to push it together, whilst lying under the car, bits of rust falling in your eye, and the way you have to lie on the floor, a face full of coolant would result if it was possible to budget the damn thing. The connector is under the bumper too do your hand is almost bent back on itself. Pliers don't work because the jaws are too thick to press in the two bits of metal.

 

What's wrong with a jubilee clip on a hose pushed onto the bottom of the radiator? Quick release my bloody arse. I hate that car.

[tooSavvy]

^^^^ think there is a special tool/pliers?

 

TS

[Cavcraft]

Someone local has one of those spazzy looking new Skodas, possibly the new Labia? Anyhow it's in a sort of pensioner's primer grey colour and is just horrible.

I thought they might look better in a more fetching colour, but having just spotted a red and a black one out and about, I can confirm they still look like a disappointed fox cub at the front.

[dave21478]

I am very fortunate in that I am almost never ill. 

Sadly, today I am all. I feel fine otherwise but since yesterday lunch time, every twenty minutes - and I do mean every twenty minutes - day and night, I have to trot to the bog and squirt a cupful of bright orange liquid out my arse at about 30psi. This is getting tedious. My poor hoop is not appreciating all the wiping and I am very tired indeed as I found out the hard way that I have to set my alarm to go off every 18 minutes at night to prevent me shitting the bed while asleep.

[Cavcraft]

 

we use an Halfords Professional stainless steel pair of pliers (haven't a clue where they came from)

 

 

 

 

?

[Rocket88]

I am very fortunate in that I am almost never ill. 

Sadly, today I am all. I feel fine otherwise but since yesterday lunch time, every twenty minutes - and I do mean every twenty minutes - day and night, I have to trot to the bog and squirt a cupful of bright orange liquid out my arse at about 30psi. This is getting tedious. My poor hoop is not appreciating all the wiping and I am very tired indeed as I found out the hard way that I have to set my alarm to go off every 18 minutes at night to prevent me shitting the bed while asleep.

Get yourself checked out asap.........that's how my fortnight in hospital started.....pancreas had gone on strike...now on enzyme substitute pills for rest of my life.................

[Bren]

Get yourself checked out asap.........that's how my fortnight in hospital started.....pancreas had gone on strike...now on enzyme substitute pills for rest of my life.................

When I went to the quack I had similar problem - dump at 6.30 am every morning.

 

Doctor says nothing wrong with that - I argue the opposite, stating I don't get out of bed until 7.

[chaseracer]

Get yourself checked out asap.........that's how my fortnight in hospital started.....pancreas had gone on strike...now on enzyme substitute pills for rest of my life.................

Yep. That your 'product' is orange and liquid strongly suggests a problem upstream (sorry...) 

 

Col's right - to le quack, pronto.

[The Moog]

But one only 18 mins away

[STUNO]

Sodding weather. It has been glorious all morning, while I was working. Decided to take a break and get a bit of wood cut - naturally it starts persisting it down. Gah! Electric chainsaw and rain not a good combo. 

 

Oh I don't know about that, I would quite like an XM. Need some more firewood too!

[Lacquer Peel]

Sodding weather. It has been glorious all morning, while I was working. Decided to take a break and get a bit of wood cut - naturally it starts persisting it down. Gah! Electric chainsaw and rain not a good combo. 

 

Not keen on electric chainsaws, internal combustion FTW! At least they aren't just off/on.

[Minimad5]

I have jut been told off (i'm in work) for laughing really loud at what Dave posted

[wuvvum]

I have just come home to find a letter from Norwich magistrates' court saying that I owe them £305 in fines.  Thing is, I have absolutely no idea what this is for.  I've never received a court summons or any other notice regarding a fine.  Also, they've spelled my name wrong, although they have my date of birth correct.

 

What the fuck is going on?

[myglaren]

 

 

?

Presumably but not bought by me.  They just appeared in my toolbox a couple of years ago, along with some completely seized and rusty pipe grips, now refurbished and in use today - bought a new washing machine and decided it would go in the cloakroom.

Mainly easy but pipe grips heavily involved in removing a drain cock and replacing it with a washing machine "T".

Bought a waste with a washing machine spigot from B&Q.  Took it back as it wouldn't fit - inchananalf and  needed inchanaquarter.  They don't do inchanaquarter

Bought a drain hose joiner (from Homebase), drilled a hole in the original waste pipe to receive it, chopped the joiner so it didn't protrude too far and the bloody thing wouldn't seat

Back to B&Q for a nother one and some plastic solvent adhesive.  Adhesive but no joiners so off to Homebase again for one more.

Glued and ready for fitting tomorrow.

 

Wondered what to do with the hole in the kitchen left by the old washer, was just going to leave it there but a dishwasher seemingly climbed into the boot of my car at work, when I wasn't looking so that took it's place.

Spent a couple of hours on and off trying to figure out how the damned thing worked.  Never had one before but repaired loads, not as sophisticated as this one though.

 

I did find a dishwasher tablet in it's little hidey hole, very soggy still in it's polythene bag.

 

A sort-of productive day, for a change.

[myglaren]

I have just come home to find a letter from Norwich magistrates' court saying that I owe them £305 in fines.  Thing is, I have absolutely no idea what this is for.  I've never received a court summons or any other notice regarding a fine.  Also, they've spelled my name wrong, although they have my date of birth correct.

 

What the fuck is going on?

Tell them it was your evil twin, whatever he may have done.