Best phrases in car adverts

[catsinthewelder]

^^ Doesn't seem unreasonable so long as they let you give it a good check over.  If you're willing to risk it you could get a bargain (or a headache).

[RoverFolkUs]

"running and driving shitter" 

At least he's honest! 

[MisterH]

"Concise History"

Cracked me up that did

[RoverFolkUs]

"I don't want to ship it via DPD to Asia or a boat in the middle of the Carribbean" 😆

[sierraman]

13 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

"I don't want to ship it via DPD to Asia or a boat in the middle of the Carribbean" 😆

How unreasonable... honestly though why’s he not just scrapping the cunt. 

[RoverFolkUs]

1 hour ago, sierraman said:

How unreasonable... honestly though why’s he not just scrapping the cunt. 

Probably see about £350 from CTB or Redcorn anyway tbh!

[MisterH]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/155411574904?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=zCyS_9AfQPK&sssrc=2047675&ssuid=&widget_ver=artemis&media=TW

Sometimes Honesty is the funniest thing

[warren t claim]

On 3/21/2022 at 1:17 AM, RoverFolkUs said:

Here we have a few from the same person.... Excuse the slight casual racism in 2 of these but its his words not mine!

"Full service history in English" ... "Does not smell of curry" ... "May take a px as long as it's not your grandmother"

"No dreamers or messers or retards"

As below ...

 

Doesn't he seem a very tolerant old chap!?

I'm white. And like many taxi drivers, I learnt the local knowledge by working part time doing deliveries for a tandoori. A couple of years later I helped coach the chef through his taxi knowledge exam as well. He now drives a Transit Connect 7 seater taxi. 

[RoverFolkUs]

"Pulls like a bulldozer" 

Erm.. is that a good thing or a bad thing!? Have the fucked calipers got anything to do with it!? 😂

[wesacosa]

as spotted by @Schaefft from some chump flipping a Xedos 9

[Rocket88]

25 minutes ago, wesacosa said:

as spotted by @Schaefft from some chump flipping a Xedos 9

You can’t have it both ways… it’s either rare OR unique….

[Metal Guru]

13 minutes ago, Rocket88 said:

You can’t have it both ways… it’s either rare OR unique….

Well you can. Something Unique is certainly rare because there’s only one, but something rare , is it normally unique. I.e there might only be 2 or 3 in existence , but that’s not unique.

What I’d object to is “truly unique”. Unique has one meaning only, and needs no qualification.  

[Rocket88]

30 minutes ago, Metal Guru said:

Well you can. Something Unique is certainly rare because there’s only one, but something rare , is it normally unique. I.e there might only be 2 or 3 in existence , but that’s not unique.

What I’d object to is “truly unique”. Unique has one meaning only, and needs no qualification.  

Agreed, but not in the context that the Xedos seller was using 

[sierraman]

On 10/1/2023 at 12:31 AM, RoverFolkUs said:

"Pulls like a bulldozer" 

Erm.. is that a good thing or a bad thing!? Have the fucked calipers got anything to do with it!? 😂

Probably sounds more like a bulldozer. 

[martc]

3 hours ago, wesacosa said:

as spotted by @Schaefft from some chump flipping a Xedos 9

Are they saying the Managing Director of a Mazda Main Dealer personally serviced the car?

I've known several Managing Directors and their skillz are more geared towards steering the ship towards the rocks rather than the actual day to day work of the company. This is left to the qualified personal entrusted to do the job by the MD. Avoid.

[motorpunk]

3 hours ago, wesacosa said:

as spotted by @Schaefft from some chump flipping a Xedos 9

"I was fortunate to have the opportunity of becoming the next custodian"...

No, you gave them some money, and drove off. You fucking cretin. 

[wesacosa]

10 minutes ago, motorpunk said:

"I was fortunate to have the opportunity of becoming the next custodian"...

No, you gave them some money, and drove off. You fucking cretin. 

and is now asking several times that money from the next lucky custodian (he wants 6 bags for it!!)

 

[sierraman]

Custodian 😂😂 It’s some old Mazda nobody gives a fuck about, it’s not Stonehenge! 

[Spiny Norman]

4 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

What I’d object to is “truly unique”. Unique has one meaning only, and needs no qualification.  

"This car is unique. Apart from the one in front of it which is identical."

[DSdriver]

I like my steaks rare but not my cars as parts supply will inevitably be a problem.

[High Jetter]

54 minutes ago, Spiny Norman said:

"This car is unique. Apart from the one in front of it which is identical."

I thought 'the car in front is a Toyota'

[sierraman]

1 hour ago, DSdriver said:

I like my steaks rare but not my cars as parts supply will inevitably be a problem.

‘Hi I’d like a alternator for a Mazda Xedos 9...’ Could be a new take on the Yellow Pages JR Hartley adverts. 

[RoverFolkUs]

Ladies and gents, forget the age old classic "spears reapers" ... We have a new phrase!

"ULEZ complaint"

[RoverFolkUs]

Got to be one of the best ones I've read 😂 courtesy of a Google translate malfunction:

"I went and enjoyed myself and did not envy anyone"

"Shock absorbers everywhere"

"And I'm doing it now with my new car"

"Come and see the test drive. Call me"

That sounds a bit suspect if taken out of the context of a car advert 😂

[Captain Mainwaring]

On 31/08/2022 at 23:22, RoverFolkUs said:

"The car is on the move! The car is running good. The car is driving non stop!!"

"The car is in motion! The car runs fine. The car is driven non-stop."

Driving non-stop? How's he going to hand it over if it sells? Fling the passenger door open and have the buyer dive in, take the payment, then tuck and roll out of the door while the new owner frantically climbs over to the driver's side? 

[sierraman]

1 minute ago, Captain Mainwaring said:

Driving non-stop? How's he going to hand it over if it sells? Fling the passenger door open and have the buyer dive in, take the payment, then tuck and roll out of the door while the new owner frantically climbs over to the driver's side? 

What was that BMW 325 that Mobil had that spent 24 hours a day on a sort of vehicle treadmill. 😂

[Captain Mainwaring]

On topic, I've seen one or two ads for so-called barn find cars that've said something to the effect of 'ran fine when parked up 15 years ago'... 

[stuboy]

i know we all heard it but when the write mint condition pre accident................

[Metal Guru]

1 hour ago, stuboy said:

i know we all heard it but when the write mint condition pre accident................

Unless it’s a Polo. They’re always mint condition!

[sierraman]

Jesus... the education system has failed this individual based on the spelling.