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Not funny, all very sadly true 

Vehicle Smart MOT data for PEUGEOT D857RYA

 

Advisories:

• Overall body condition is poor, many welded plates and patches, some tape covering holes in wing edges.

• Front Registration plate deteriorated but not likely to be misread Looks a bit like it melted, is also mounted at an angle although is not insecure. (0.1 (b))

• Front crossmember is heavily corroded around the towing eye but nothing is about to fall out or off.

• Exhaust noisy (8.1.1 (a))

• Central Exhaust has a minor leak of exhaust gases (6.1.2 (a))

• Nearside Rear Upper Suspension component mounting prescribed area is corroded but not considered excessive Small rust hole in webbing brace alongside rear spring turret. (5.3.6 (a) (i))

• Nearside Front Drive shaft joint constant velocity boot severely deteriorated Cable tie is not holding boot squarely to cv joint flange, grease is leaking out. (6.1.7 (g) (i)) - MINOR

• Offside Front Inner Anti-roll bar pin or bush worn but not resulting in excessive movement (5.3.4 (a) (i))

• Oil leak, but not excessive Engine has an epic long term leak that congeals on the front of the block instead of dripping off. (8.4.1 (a) (i))

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the exhaust noisy irritates me as there is no noise limit in the mot test nor do they accurately measure it, the motorsport uk limit for circuits is 105db and 98 for closed road rallying, it is measured at 2/3 revs or 3/3 the way to the red line and 0.5m from the exhaust tailpipe. now for road cars i would say a max limit should be around 95db with a exhaust in sound condition. i have measured a car with the exhaust snapped before the back box using a phone app, 5k revs on the civic, it was 60db, to the ear it was fukin loud but technically legal for a circuit by 40db... at least if garages used and reorded with a meter it would help

https://www.demon-tweeks.com/uk/sealey-sound-level-meter-ta060-seata060/

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Reason(s) for failure

  • Front Obligatory mirror missing (8.1.1)
  • Driver's door does not latch securely closed (6.2.B.1a)
  • Nearside Front passenger door does not latch securely closed (6.2.B.1a)
  • Front position lamp(s) not working (1.1.A.3b)
  • Offside Rear position lamp(s) not working (1.1.A.3b)
  • Registration plate lamp not working (1.1.C.1d)
  • Exhaust tailpipe not capable of allowing the emission probe to be inserted (7.3.B.1)

This was my camper which was presented for a test on the way back from the paint shop. There were no windows and the doors were held closed with masking tape.

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I once got advised of my tyre sizes for no apparent reason. Maybe not funny, but utterly bizarre.

Rest of them were fair enough, seat bases were escort Recaros with adapter plates they obviously couldn't test the strength of, Lock tabs were in, just not far enough, Sills had been poorly jacked by previous owner and have their outer skin bent back in vague shape by me, rough but solid and do the job. Alt belt was done in the dark and one rib off, probably popped when tensioning and Track rod ends foul the wheels on full lock when the suspension is totally uncompressed, under load they don't, can only be tested on the ground and slipping some card between them. Not the usual method.

tyresize.thumb.PNG.fe5140dbb06f4d02db5bd1edb6eccc61.PNG

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6 minutes ago, Mrcento said:

I once got advised of my tyre sizes for no apparent reason. Maybe not funny, but utterly bizarre.

Rest of them were fair enough, seat bases were escort Recaros with adapter plates they obviously couldn't test the strength of, Lock tabs were in, just not far enough, Sills had been poorly jacked by previous owner and have their outer skin bent back in vague shape by me, rough but solid and do the job. Alt belt was done in the dark and one rib off, probably popped when tensioning and Track rod ends foul the wheels on full lock when the suspension is totally uncompressed, under load they don't, can only be tested on the ground and slipping some card between them. Not the usual method.

tyresize.thumb.PNG.fe5140dbb06f4d02db5bd1edb6eccc61.PNG

I wonder if the tester feared the sidewalls would rub and get damaged?

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15 minutes ago, Mrcento said:

I once got advised of my tyre sizes for no apparent reason. Maybe not funny, but utterly bizarre.

Rest of them were fair enough, seat bases were escort Recaros with adapter plates they obviously couldn't test the strength of, Lock tabs were in, just not far enough, Sills had been poorly jacked by previous owner and have their outer skin bent back in vague shape by me, rough but solid and do the job. Alt belt was done in the dark and one rib off, probably popped when tensioning and Track rod ends foul the wheels on full lock when the suspension is totally uncompressed, under load they don't, can only be tested on the ground and slipping some card between them. Not the usual method.

tyresize.thumb.PNG.fe5140dbb06f4d02db5bd1edb6eccc61.PNG

Since when was the auxiliary belt a testable item?!

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Just now, sierraman said:

Since when was the auxiliary belt a testable item?!

It's not, I think they were just being helpful mentioning they'd noticed it was a rib off when it was up on the ramp testing for play in the wishbone bushes etc.

I have a good relationship with the garage and they know i do all that stuff myself.

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5 hours ago, Fumbler said:

I'd love to find the "Car is a horrible shade of dog dick pink" but it's disappeared from the web completely.

If DVSA find out about it, they delete them off and give the tester who wrote it a right bollocking. 

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14 minutes ago, SiC said:

If DVSA find out about it, they delete them off and give the tester who wrote it a right bollocking. 

I wondered about this - I use a medical system at work for patient records that allows me to send instant messages to other system users - these are all stored and Ive been bollocked about some of the messages Ive sent before now.

Also reminds me of a consultant who used the abbreviation DS on patent notes regularly - got questioned by CQC and eventually admitted it stood for "Dying swan"

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9 hours ago, garethj said:

Like NFN: Normal For Norfolk?

or PPOD: Patient Probably Outlive Doctor (there’s nothing wrong with them)

Consultant letters from the pre-digital days are the best.  One place I worked I was sorting paper records and the ones that read 'This charming lady', or 'Articulate gentleman', etc. were my favourites.  Consultants are some of the most sarcastic people alive.

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