The grumpy thread

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I could make a GoCat vol au vent out of a dead bird served on a bed of catnip and my cat wouldn't so much as sniff it. 

 

Small update on my auto renewing bill hassle - although neither of the two different departments I've emailed about it have managed to get back to me, they have sent me two automated emails in to let me know they couldn't get any money off my fictitious credit card. Small victory there. 

[Station]

My house I use through the week for work is extremely quiet and needed some 'life' in the place. Was going to buy some fish or something, but somehow ended up with 6 'lively' gerbils (in a 4 foot fush tank) for some aural company at night and the things are so frigging loud I can't get to sleep!! Digging, squeaking, banging about. JEEZUS!

[Cavcraft]

My house I use through the week for work is extremely quiet and needed some 'life' in the place. Was going to buy some fish or something, but somehow ended up with 6 'lively' gerbils (in a 4 foot fush tank) for some aural company at night and the things are so frigging loud I can't get to sleep!! Digging, squeaking, banging about. JEEZUS!

 

 

See 'cat' further up.

[dollywobbler]

lol!

[vulgalour]

Is nobody else going to question how he went from fish to SIX gerbils?  SIX of the bastards!  What were you thinking?

[autofive]

Is nobody else going to question how he went from fish to SIX gerbils?  SIX of the bastards!  What were you thinking?

 

 

give it a couple of weeks and there will be 36

[Station]

I bought two, but thought what the hell and bought four more, as they seemed lonely/quiet which resulted in a 'I'm the alpha male here' thing. But they calmed down after a bit.

Tbh they require minimal attention and are independent and I've had fish before and they're a pain in the arse (correct water temp/type, constantly dying if something isn't right/has bleach in, cleaning out gallons of water, etc), they were quiet in the morning after I took the 'sleeping container' out - they had dug all the straw bedding out and were fruitlessly burrowing into hard plastic for two hours, leaving ones that wanted to kip to take refuge in the exercise wheel, which meant the one that wanted to use the wheel to exercise was getting pissed off, so let them sleep 'au naturale' in a hole in the sawdust. Ha

[Sigmund Fraud]

Large classic car insurance brokers... I will not name and shame, but the phonecall went like this :

 

-Hello, I would like a quote for my three classics.

-Of course, Sir. I will first spend ten minutes mumbling through endless terms and conditions that will invariably render your insurance invalid should you ever need to claim. Then I will take your details, making sure I ask the exact same questions three times, just in case your personal details or address changed in the five minutes that passed since I last asked you. Then I will ask you how much your current insurer has quoted and return with a premium that is two times as much. And then I will urge you to consider taking up our offer as we are the 'industry leaders' and 'sponsor event X, where coffin-dodging rubber-bumper MGB owners can discuss grille badges and fake-walnut dashboards'.

 

Argh !!! You can't imagine how marvellous it felt to call Peter James afterwards ! I have never used them, and they may well quote me £3000 or something, but at least I spoke to an intelligent, knowledgeable gentleman rather than a brainless, disinterested, call centre droid.

[cms206]

It's Peter James my Montego is insured with, refreshing to get an actual person answer an actual telephone and they've top people to deal with. Just make sure you check your documents, took three attempts to get my 1992 Rover Montego 1.6LX described as such on the policy schedule despite the correct rego being on all the copies.

[Spiny Norman]

give it a couple of weeks and there will be 36

 

If they do start breeding, don't keep the males in the same cage with the young 'uns and their mothers, otherwise they end up as snacks. Male gerbils usually eat their babies so they can start rumpy-pumpy all over again.

[TimothyClaypole]

Station - get some peat moss and half  fill the tank up if it's deep enough.

 

Keeps them busy digging proper burrows then.

 

Empty toilet roll inners are usually a favourite too.

[Des]

 

 

Empty toilet roll inners are usually a favourite too.

I've been waiting for someone to mention cardboard tubes in relation to gerbils.

[Station]

I've done all those things, they love the old toilet tubes. They seem settled now and are quite quiet.

 

Other day I touched the alternator belt on my Nippa and it took my finger on a magical journey around the fantastical world of the alternator pulley (under the belt no less). Instantly went purple, burning pain, etc. how did this not chop the end of my finger off? I have two perfectly horizontal bruises on my finger and nail from the pulley guide edges. F*ck!!

[Cavcraft]

I've been waiting for someone to mention cardboard tubes in relation to gerbils.

 

Are you now waiting for 'A&E' so you have a full house?

[SambaS]

Cabriolet is proper dead. Only fix is petrol tank off and cleaned, and carb. replaced or break the car and scrap what's left. It's unsellable.

[Station]

Are you now waiting for 'A&E' so you have a full house?

 

[STUNO]

I've done all those things, they love the old toilet tubes. They seem settled now and are quite quiet.

 

Other day I touched the alternator belt on my Nippa and it took my finger on a magical journey around the fantastical world of the alternator pulley (under the belt no less). Instantly went purple, burning pain, etc. how did this not chop the end of my finger off? I have two perfectly horizontal bruises on my finger and nail from the pulley guide edges. F*ck!!

You were very lucky the belt was loose

[Spiny Norman]

Garden-ists.

 

Why is it that every time we get more than two consecutive days or decent sunshine, everyone with anything more than a window box decide to give their grass a number 2 haircut every day?

Everywhere you go just now it's a cacophony of lawnmowers, electric shears and these really annoying strimmer things, revving and buzzing away, drowning out the radio, spreading pollen everywhere.

 

Sit the fuck down and chill the fuck out......

[Junkman]

Cabriolet is proper dead. Only fix is petrol tank off and cleaned, and carb. replaced or break the car and scrap what's left. It's unsellable.

Proper dead because the tank has to be cleaned out and the carb replaced?

Is the ashtray full, too?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Yeah that’s right, they fuggin well ought to wait till it’s raining to do all that garden shiz

[Junkman]

Garden-ists.

 

Why is it that every time we get more than two consecutive days or decent sunshine, everyone with anything more than a window box decide to give their grass a number 2 haircut every day?

Everywhere you go just now it's a cacophony of lawnmowers, electric shears and these really annoying strimmer things, revving and buzzing away, drowning out the radio, spreading pollen everywhere.

 

Sit the fuck down and chill the fuck out......

Would you please have a word with my wife in this matter?

[Rocket88]

G4S.................the biggest bunch of money grabbing Charlatans on the planet have now been found to have charged HMG for tagging and monitoring people who are dead. You couldn't make it up................

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Sounds like a good use of money to me. I for one definitely think we should be monitoring the deceased just in case they come back to life. 

 

For instance, I'd be horrified if my great grandparents were to turn up at my door unannounced. I don't want them knowing what a fat layabout I am.

[SambaS]

Yeah i just loose my patience with it sometimes but its on it's last legs, already a cat c write off, welded badly in places, rotten in others and generally falling to pieces, it wont take much more going wrong before i cut my losses i think.

 

and i wouldn't sell it because someone would only complain about the welding or the rot or the general state of it and it's not worth the hassle for a couple hundred quid.

 

 

Proper dead because the tank has to be cleaned out and the carb replaced?
Is the ashtray full, too?

[Cavcraft]

Garden-ists.

 

Why is it that every time we get more than two consecutive days or decent sunshine, everyone with anything more than a window box decide to give their grass a number 2 haircut every day?

Everywhere you go just now it's a cacophony of lawnmowers, electric shears and these really annoying strimmer things, revving and buzzing away, drowning out the radio, spreading pollen everywhere.

 

Sit the fuck down and chill the fuck out......

 

 

I envy them. Wish I had a lawn and a hedge, I love gardening.

[Junkman]

I envy them. Wish I had a lawn and a hedge, I love gardening.

 

I'd happily lend you my garden. When would you like to come?

[Cavcraft]

We'll sort that out when you come to buy my 400/4.

[Lord Sterling]

I envy them. Wish I had a lawn and a hedge, I love gardening.

You can have mine, I can't stand working on the bloody thing, even though it looks quite Ok. I've given up gardening this Summer, its long, daunting and very tiring, so I get my neighbour, who is setting up a small local gardening/window cleaning service business to do it for me.

[vulgalour]

One of the neighbours hit a nerve with me today and I was more annoyed than I ought to have been.  He was talking about cars, I got the impression he was a Top Gear type of enthusiast rather than someone who actually knew anything, and he said that if he were me he'd have the Golf for special days and he'd just run the Princess into the ground until it was dead.  Thank fuck I'm not him.  He also said he wanted an Escort and even though he was interested in getting a Mk4 rather than the ubiquitous Mk1 chariot of choice for mongs, my brain had turned off and had decided he was hateful.  I think I was more annoyed at me for letting his casual dismissal of the Princess as a worthy car get to me than his dismissal itself.

 

Besides, the Princess is a far better car than the Golf, her brakes work and she idles properly for a start.

[Sigmund Fraud]

I got the impression he was a Top Gear type of enthusiast rather than someone who actually knew anything, and he said that if he were me he'd have the Golf for special days and he'd just run the Princess into the ground until it was dead.

 

Sounds like a true connoisseur*, this chap. I would certainly* trust his advice on all matters automotive.