The grumpy thread

[ruffgeezer]

Another vacuum cleaner in the garage, another counting field mouse living in the dust bag. 

Furry little shite. 

[strangeangel]

9 hours ago, clayts450 said:

This. You feel like turning around and saying 'look, would you mind awfully fucking off so I can get on with it' (usually when you're fighting a 25 yr old rusty bolt). Trouble is, you can't really say that to a neighbour's five year old kid, who invariably seems to be my key audience.

And the oh-so-funny-never-ever-ever-heard-it-before-honest 'will you do mine next?' when you are washing or fixing your car ?

Or 'what's wrong with the car ?' when you're doing weekly checks.

 

 

@UltraWomble made the definitive post on witticisms* made by the general public when you're trying to get a job done. Fucked if I can find it now, mind...

 

[Zelandeth]

Jeeezus people...knock it off with the bloody fireworks.  It's been a continual bloody barrage since about 1700 here today.  Dogs haven't stopped bouncing off the walls.

Not talking £5 Tesco fireworks here either, proper window rattlers...which have so far set off the alarm in one of our cars twice.

[Zelandeth]

There goes the car alarm again...

[PhilA]

It's November. I'm standing in Macy's department store as my wife shops for clothes.

That part is okay.

 

What's NOT okay is "Felíz Navidad" is playing on the overhead. It's not even the far side of November yet!

[Zelandeth]

6 minutes ago, PhilA said:

It's November. I'm standing in Macy's department store as my wife shops for clothes.

That part is okay.

 

What's NOT okay is "Felíz Navidad" is playing on the overhead. It's not even the far side of November yet!

What?  Shops there haven't been in full Christmas mode for the last month or so over there?

[PhilA]

2 minutes ago, Zelandeth said:

What?  Shops there haven't been in full Christmas mode for the last month or so over there?

No. They're just beginning to gear up here, no displays but the music is on and off Christmassy.

[LightBulbFun]

1 hour ago, PhilA said:

It's November. I'm standing in Macy's department store as my wife shops for clothes.

That part is okay.

 

What's NOT okay is "Felíz Navidad" is playing on the overhead. It's not even the far side of November yet!

if it makes you feel better I got stung with Customs duties yesterday for the 100 C7 Christmas  lightbulbs I ordered from 1000bulbs.com at the start of November (for the 2 C7 sets I already have)

(the annoying thing is not so much the customs charge (tho that is annoying in its own right) but the bloody handling charge that royal mail also slap you with, its already at my local distribution office and I paid international postage whats the bloody 8 quid for! its also extra annoying as international shipping from the US to the UK is already silly, most of the cost of my order was on shipping rather then the bulbs (and 4 RDC sockets) themselves and just to top this grump off, it all happened yesterday, on a Friday, so they wont get here until Monday now *grumble*)

[PhilA]

34 minutes ago, LightBulbFun said:

if it makes you feel better I got strung with Customs duties yesterday for the 100 C7 Christmas  lightbulbs I ordered from 1000bulbs.com at the start of November (for the 2 C7 sets I already have)

(the annoying thing is not so much the customs charge (tho that is annoying in its own right) but the bloody handling charge that royal mail also slap you with, its already at my local distribution office and I paid international postage whats the bloody 8 quid for! its also extra annoying as international shipping from the US to the UK is already silly, most of the cost of my order was on shipping rather then the bulbs (and 4 RDC sockets) themselves and just to top this grump off, it all happened yesterday, on a Friday, so they wont get here until Monday now *grumble*)

My parents got stung with that. I ordered them something here, it got shipped from Major Brand Name Store, which had an international option to pay for the customs duty etc so all they had was a box delivered.

Royal Mail sent them a paper slip telling them to go to the post office to collect a box. They went and although it was marked as paid, the double dipping pikey asshats demanded a further £46 to release the item in "fees and surcharges related to international shipping and customs" which is as vague and bullshit as it sounds.

 

That pissed me off. Sending by FedEx and getting final delivery by DHL remedied that- their paperwork remarked all customs duty paid.

 

Phil

[fairkens]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Jeeezus people...knock it off with the bloody fireworks.  It's been a continual bloody barrage since about 1700 here today.  Dogs haven't stopped bouncing off the walls.

Not talking £5 Tesco fireworks here either, proper window rattlers...which have so far set off the alarm in one of our cars twice.

Divali innit

[captain_70s]

On 11/13/2020 at 5:55 PM, sierraman said:

When did mending cars become a spectator sport? Whenever you are doing something there’s always someone coming along to go ‘are you ok?’ Like you aren’t breathing or something. Would you stop a bloke cutting the grass and go ‘are you ok?’. It’s never like they know what the fuck they’re on about either it’ll be ‘I once changed a fan belt on a Cortina’. Sometimes you just want to get on with a job without the cast of Wheeler Dealers stood round.

Because the number of people who work on their cars is such a low number it's an oddity.

I don't think I've ever gotten angry at somebody enquiring about me working on the car, only the guy who insisted it had a Morris Marina engine was a bit grating. I often get asked if I'm having issues in the works car park because it's fairly flat (unlike my street) and is a good place to check the oil level. 

[Zelandeth]

5 minutes ago, fairkens said:

Divali innit

Hadn't even thought of that.  Apparently that's way more of a thing around here than November 5th then.  We had a low key annoying amount going off all night then, but nothing like the absolutely continual barrage this evening.  It's just starting to quiet down now...maybe.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Hadn't even thought of that.  Apparently that's way more of a thing around here than November 5th then.  We had a low key annoying amount going off all night then, but nothing like the absolutely continual barrage this evening.  It's just starting to quiet down now...maybe.

Usually fireworks season starts around end of October and carries on 'til New Year.

[Soundwave]

2 hours ago, PhilA said:

What's NOT okay is "Felíz Navidad" is playing on the overhead. It's not even the far side of November yet!

 

I quite like the song... if only because on the José Feliciano version, the chorus sounds like "Police nabbed me dad" in a vaguely not-quite-scouse accent.

 

I can't unhear it. And now neither can you.

[New POD]

4 hours ago, captain_70s said:

Because the number of people who work on their cars is such a low number it's an oddity.

I don't think I've ever gotten angry at somebody enquiring about me working on the car, only the guy who insisted it had a Morris Marina engine was a bit grating. I often get asked if I'm having issues in the works car park because it's fairly flat (unlike my street) and is a good place to check the oil level. 

If I see a bloke locking in an engine bay, I'm afraid, i have akways found it funny to say some thing topical like 

Ah, let's all bow before the great god,  A series/variable valve timing/V6/V8/egr valve/piston engine. 

I don't think I've ever had anyone comment, although I have called out 'excuse me, yes you, im very stuck, do you think you could help me? (1988, Selly Oak hospital car park, opposite my girlfriend's shared student house on Oak Tree Lane. Changing the Speedo drive cable.  Wrist got stuck on sharp petrol hose clip. Imagine a razor blade digging into your main artery. ) 

[Mrcento]

On 11/13/2020 at 5:55 PM, sierraman said:

When did mending cars become a spectator sport? Whenever you are doing something there’s always someone coming along to go ‘are you ok?’ Like you aren’t breathing or something. Would you stop a bloke cutting the grass and go ‘are you ok?’. It’s never like they know what the fuck they’re on about either it’ll be ‘I once changed a fan belt on a Cortina’. Sometimes you just want to get on with a job without the cast of Wheeler Dealers stood round.

You think that's bad?

Try doing anything to your car outside in a street full of blocks of tenements.

You get the usual comments from passers by, plus the usual cunts trying to be 'funny', plus you can't even clean the thing or change a wiper blade without folk getting a cup of tea, pulling up a chair and watching you from the windows from start to finish.

Thanks to the lockdown restrictions, I can genuinely say i've performed in front of a bigger crowd than most football clubs in the UK this season.

[iainrcz]

People watching me doing my impression of Frank Spencer on the drive washing my car really pisses me off.

[Jamie]

Cackhanded soup handling fail 

[Stanky]

Stilton and broccoli?

[Jamie]

7 minutes ago, Stanky said:

Stilton and broccoli?

I think pea leak n mint from Tebay services so the contents probably are worth more than the car I spilled it onto

[New POD]

Mother in Law has temporarily moved in after wife's Dad died.  

We are both saints.  

One thing, she has absolutely no sense of food adventure.  Over the years, she must have ended up cooking no more than 4 different things. 

Lamb chops, shepherds pie, half a salmon fillet, and fish cakes or maybe a fish out of a box. Always with peas and boiled potatoes. 

Won't eat anythibgbwith any spice, " just in case" because she once had a bad reaction to a curry. So this includes sausages, 

Also says she doesn't like chicken. On further questioning, she thinks it too dry.  Not surprised by that. Everything I've ever seen her cook has been well over cooked. She doesn't bother to do gravy and doesn't do water or any drink at the table.  

I've told my wife to cook what we want, if she's hungry, she'll eat it, and like any 6 year old, she might axtually like it. 

That's the first grump. The second is more a question.

How often can a woman go to the toilet?

During the day,  she seems to go every 20 mins. Just nipping to the loo. If she has to go upstairs she'll go. Last night she went before Strictly, then 3 times during it, then when was finished, then 20 mins later.  She went before bed, then again, when I'd finished in the bathroom, then 30 mins later. Then 20 mins, then 20.mins, then 15 mins, I stopped noticing  after that, but i woke up 30 mins ago, and she's been twice. I replaced the toilet roll at 8pm yesterday and there's hardly any left now. 

And yet she never gets herself a drink.  She only drinks hot water. (I've no idea why).  She had yesterday in her own house, as part of the gradually going back plan.  I went to pick her up and on the quite, went to check shed turned the cooker off.  I also checked the kettle.  It was cold. And full. Like when I dropped her off.  When we got back my wife asked her if she wanted a drink. "No dear, only just had one" 

Fucking weird. 

[Lankytim]

6 hours ago, Mrcento said:

You think that's bad?

Try doing anything to your car outside in a street full of blocks of tenements.

You get the usual comments from passers by, plus the usual cunts trying to be 'funny', plus you can't even clean the thing or change a wiper blade without folk getting a cup of tea, pulling up a chair and watching you from the windows from start to finish.

Thanks to the lockdown restrictions, I can genuinely say i've performed in front of a bigger crowd than most football clubs in the UK this season.

I often store chod on my inlaws drive (currently banned, but that's another story) If I ever pick up/drop off or work on a car you can guarantee that an otherwise deserted cul-de-sac with suddenly become alive with people gardening, cleaning windows or as you said, simply pulling up a chair in the front window and staring. One guy opposite even got his binoculars out despite being maybe only 50 ft away. Often a notepad comes out and reg plates are taken down. "Dennis!, Dennis! he's working on that car again! Shall I ring the police/council/crimestoppers" E.T.C 

I've taken to facing them and picking my nose with my middle finger. Nosy bastards. 

 

[mitsisigma01]

2 hours ago, New POD said:

Fucking weird

Possible incontinence issue, possible urinary tract infections.... Has she always been like this... 

[MikeR]

2 hours ago, New POD said:

Mother in Law has temporarily moved in after wife's Dad died.  

We are both saints.  

One thing, she has absolutely no sense of food adventure.  Over the years, she must have ended up cooking no more than 4 different things. 

Lamb chops, shepherds pie, half a salmon fillet, and fish cakes or maybe a fish out of a box. Always with peas and boiled potatoes. 

Won't eat anythibgbwith any spice, " just in case" because she once had a bad reaction to a curry. So this includes sausages, 

Also says she doesn't like chicken. On further questioning, she thinks it too dry.  Not surprised by that. Everything I've ever seen her cook has been well over cooked. She doesn't bother to do gravy and doesn't do water or any drink at the table.  

I've told my wife to cook what we want, if she's hungry, she'll eat it, and like any 6 year old, she might axtually like it. 

That's the first grump. The second is more a question.

How often can a woman go to the toilet?

During the day,  she seems to go every 20 mins. Just nipping to the loo. If she has to go upstairs she'll go. Last night she went before Strictly, then 3 times during it, then when was finished, then 20 mins later.  She went before bed, then again, when I'd finished in the bathroom, then 30 mins later. Then 20 mins, then 20.mins, then 15 mins, I stopped noticing  after that, but i woke up 30 mins ago, and she's been twice. I replaced the toilet roll at 8pm yesterday and there's hardly any left now. 

And yet she never gets herself a drink.  She only drinks hot water. (I've no idea why).  She had yesterday in her own house, as part of the gradually going back plan.  I went to pick her up and on the quite, went to check shed turned the cooker off.  I also checked the kettle.  It was cold. And full. Like when I dropped her off.  When we got back my wife asked her if she wanted a drink. "No dear, only just had one" 

Fucking weird. 

with working in the care system I have seen this toilet use , almost down to the minute , every minute !!!

if the toilet was not there they would hold it and wait and thus retrain the body to wait ....  very hard to do with toilets every where ...

the lack of water input wont be helping as this will make the waste very irritating and make a need to go !!  , so they drink less thinking it will help !

[mitsisigma01]

2 minutes ago, MikeR said:

with working in the care system I have seen this toilet use , almost down to the minute , every minute !!!

if the toilet was not there they would hold it and wait and thus retrain the body to wait ....  very hard to do with toilets every where ...

the lack of water input wont be helping as this will make the waste very irritating and make a need to go !!  , so they drink less thinking it will help !

Exactly what I was going to say 🤷‍♂️

[Tadhg Tiogar]

2 hours ago, New POD said:

.....How often can a woman go to the toilet?.... 

How often would you like it to be?

One woman I know has cultivated a certain notoriety for disappearing behind a hedge or a gate and marking territory when we're out riding! You can tell where she's been, as nothing seems to grow on the areas she's marked..... I reckon it might be the alcohol....

[rainagain]

19 hours ago, Pieman said:

If I ever caught anyone training dogs for fighting, I would happily go down for murder.

ALL my neighbours think it's oh so funny to do this, to the extent I have stopped bothering to wash my car.  I now give them the response "Buy me a crate of Guinness and I'll think about it".

If only this was true:

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/joking-that-neighbour-can-clean-your-car-next-to-incur-three-point-penalty-20161005114854
 

[New POD]

2 hours ago, mitsisigma01 said:

Possible incontinence issue, possible urinary tract infections.... Has she always been like this... 

She has previously given herself problems in that vain, but this is more mistaking anxiety with a full bladder.  And and obsessing, that she needs to go.  The idea of a day trip (involving an hour in the car, and an unsure availability of public conveniences, would fill her with horror.  

 My suggestion that post lockdown, we could visit our second home some 1.5 hours away would require us to stop at least twice on route. 

[New POD]

2 hours ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

How often would you like it to be?

One woman I know has cultivated a certain notoriety for disappearing behind a hedge or a gate and marking territory when we're out riding! You can tell where she's been, as nothing seems to grow on the areas she's marked..... I reckon it might be the alcohol....

I'm thinking that I go about 5 times in 24 hours.  So more than once in any 2 hours, and more than 20 times a day really is mental. 

My daughter, reckons she doesn't go all day when at work.  She leaves the house at 7:30 am and gets home at 7pm, because she doesn't have time and doesn't like public loos. I reckon that's  weird too. But not as weird. It's proof that you can train your bladder if you want to. 

[New POD]

2 hours ago, MikeR said:

 

the lack of water input wont be helping as this will make the waste very irritating and make a need to go !!  , so they drink less thinking it will help !

The very point I made this morning to her when I tried to give her an extra cup of water with her breakfast.  If you are going to the toilet more often, your wee will be more concentrated, so you need to drink more. 

Yeah, she has cognitive issues. 

Or rather she selects what she wants to understand and listen to. I.e. she's always done what she wants, and she'll pretend to listen to reason, but inside she's saying "not listening - because it's not what I've believed for 60 years" 

Don't get me wrong, I really like her, and would rather her in my house than.my own mother, I just think she's obsessed with going.  

 

That said, if I wasn't deaf before I will.be soon.  She needs the telly turned up to 130 dbs before she can hear.