The grumpy thread

24,376 · February 12, 2018

You need to have and know how to operate an oscilloscope to diagnose them 100% . The scopes and training aren’t cheap and have to be paid for . As do techs and ford diagnostic equipment . I have no doubt you will post up a link for a scope on eBay for 2d6 but back in the real world

24,376 · February 12, 2018

Oh and it could be half an hour to get to the bloody connector to test the bastard

38,278 · February 12, 2018

Training to use an oscilloscope?! I used to play with them at home when I was of primary school age. Surely they must teach students how to use them and what to look for in college?

A DC current clamp meter over the alternator charge cable will soon tell you if current is flowing along it. Leave the lights on for 5 to 10 minutes to drain the battery a bit, start it and then check the current reading over it.

24,376 · February 12, 2018

Seriously thinking about an As holiday . Too many experts on here that think it’s so bloody easy to be a mechanic and that we are all there to rip everyone off .

16,454 · February 12, 2018

Training to use an oscilloscope?! I used to play with them at home when I was of primary school age. Surely they must teach students how to use them and what to look for in college?
A DC current clamp meter over the alternator charge cable will soon tell you if current is flowing along it. Leave the lights on for 5 to 10 minutes to drain the battery a bit, start it and then check the current reading over it.

Depends on the sort of oscilloscope, we have ‘student models’ with four parameters that I could teach someone to use in half an hour if they were of at least average intelligence. I also have a bells and whistles eleventy zillion dial one that can take me an hour to get back where I want it if some ‘wag’ twiddles with my knobs and I don’t know half the uses of it.oddly the student one is useful for the square root of fook all, well apart from displaying a test signal nicely.

February 12, 2018

Seriously thinking about an As holiday . Too many experts on here that think it’s so bloody easy to be a mechanic and that we are all there to rip everyone off .

I'm some of you aren't, like yourself. But as a forum full of people running old chod we're bound to see the other sort when shopping for cheaper* prices for work.

26,407 · February 12, 2018

Seriously thinking about an As holiday . Too many experts on here that think it’s so bloody easy to be a mechanic and that we are all there to rip everyone off .

Please don't include me in that thought! Breaking the quote down to parts and labor, and especially after doing the labor it was quite reasonable.

We just don't have £450 to spend on anything!

44,496 · February 12, 2018

Seriously thinking about an As holiday . Too many experts on here that think it’s so bloody easy to be a mechanic and that we are all there to rip everyone off .

You're such a rip-off merchant that I've used your garage twice, and I live 280 miles away!

24,376 · February 12, 2018

HA yes . Once bitten eh ?

17,353 · February 12, 2018

Seriously thinking about an As holiday . Too many experts on here that think it’s so bloody easy to be a mechanic and that we are all there to rip everyone off .

Please don't get pissed off and leave just because I'm being a know-it-all. I'm genuinely trying to get to the bottom of how the process of "it's a fucked alternator, you need a new one" has ended up with a near-£700 bill.

A lot of this is very interesting information. I had no idea that modern CAN-driven alternators were looking for anything other than an excitation current, and having now had a look into it, I understand the charging profile needed for an AGM-type Lead-Acid battery.

The problem (for me at least, and I've no doubt some other people too) is that I've been a motor mechanic for a while, and I've worked in the motor industry a bit.. enough to know that many garages are utter fucking rip-off merchants and would sell their own grandmother if there was a few quid in it. I've known garages charge for cambelts that have never been done, seen MOT testers fail things that were blatantly not fails just so the garage can make some more money, utter ham-fisted twat "mechanics" make a complete fuck-up of even the most basic tasks, and numerous garages charge for work that I have proven has not been done. This is part of the reason why I do so much on my own car myself.. I just do not trust garages.

Now, I know that there are good, honest, reliable and reputable garages/mechanics out there, and I have experienced some of their work.. some of it genuinely brilliant, but there are still too many dodgy garages out there, and the advent of a huge increase in computer/ECU control seems to give the dodgy ones even more capacity to lie/steal/bullshit etc. My trust levels are not high..

But that's my issue. My genuine apologies if I've made any of it your issue.

9,265 · February 12, 2018

Re garages, it is a real bloody shame that there are so many rip off artists out there that they blight the whole trades name. I've known a good few blatent arseholes and so now when I find a decent place, I praise them to the hilt. I include all our mechanics/techs on here in that description. I mean, praise not arseholes

4,066 · February 12, 2018

I'm genuinely trying to get to the bottom of how the process of "it's a fucked alternator, you need a new one" has ended up with a near-£700 bill.

I think it's a vehicle built after 1985 thing.

I did too many years in the motor biz, some years ago now but found actual cowboys / ripoff merchants a very, very rare thing, incompetence and stupidity is usually what's going on.

38,278 · February 12, 2018

Seriously thinking about an As holiday . Too many experts on here that think it’s so bloody easy to be a mechanic and that we are all there to rip everyone off .

I re-read what I wrote and I apologise. It was downright nasty and insinuating.

I've been doing electronics for years and as my daily job. Because of this, it does seem straightforward and understandable. Sometimes it's easy for me to forget this.

I also see basic electronics and diagnosing as a key skill for all mechanics to have. Knowing how to work an oscilloscope should be second nature like knowing how to set a torque wrench for a mechanic imo. Especially given how much modern cars rely on data interconnects and sensors.

Did I think the quote from the dealer was rather on the pricey side? Yes, but then being a dealer it will be significantly more and so not unexpected (which I'm sure we can all agree) - which is why I never commented on the original post. Also yes I know diagnostic tools are expensive to buy and keep up to date. I have my own tools of the trade in my line of business that aren't cheap either and I'm sure many others do too. I'm sure if it was an independent it would have been significantly cheaper.

I also hold a lot of dealers to the same level as fast fit garages. The guys at the coal face may have good intentions but they're often corrupted by commission based incentives and targets. So I hold rather little trust in them.

So again sorry if I've come over the wrong way. It wasn't supposed to be an attack on you or your excellent knowledge base. You of course know far more than I'll ever know on not only fixing cars but diagnosing them too.

Where someone requests help or knowledge, I try to give the best as I can without giving incorrect knowledge if no one else has offered assistance. If that turns out wrong, I'll happily accept that and learn from what was wrong. If someone else comes along with more expertise, I usually step aside (stop posting) to let others take over.

38,278 · February 12, 2018

Just had a confrontation with my next door neighbour.

My grandad has gone into a home and given up driving. At the weekend I drove his car back to here, ready for my parents to collect it tomorrow. Anyway I popped outside this evening to give it a quick check over, top up the washer fluid and make sure everything was ok for them. I drove it down to the local Morrisons to use the air pump to top the tyres up. Upon getting there I noticed the rear tyre was completely flat.

I pumped it up, check the others and drove it home. Upon getting home, I got out my code reader to check that it was all clean. At this point my neighbour poked his head out of the window and started talking at me that I'm not supposed to be running a used car business. I politely told him I'm not and that it's my grandads car. He then shouted at me calling me a liar. At this point I started shouting and told him that my grandad is in a home and there is no reason why I can't park where I parked it.

Currently it's parked at the end of our street which is a cul-de-sac. He parks his car on one side and seems to take ownership of the whole end - despite it being a public road. As it has my grandads possentions in, I wanted to keep it at our end of the road. There is absolutely nothing of worth but it all has a lot of sentimental attachment to us and him. Last thing I wanted is to be parked out of sight, someone breaking in and rummaging + breaking through all his stuff.

Anyway at this point he stormed outside and confronted me in my face. I whipped my phone out and started recording. Despite being an old man (late 60s/early 70s), I didn't want him to hit me. Not least I couldn't exactly retaliate to protect myself without it looking like me as the guilty one.

I told him again that it was my grandads car offered him to see inside. He then told me he's going to report me to the tax man/etc.

Bit shaken up but I'm glad I've got it all on video. Fearful of what he may do next. My biggest concern is if he gets our poor little cat involved - he hates cats. I'm considering reporting him to the police but that may only antagonise the situation. Also when we come to move, I believe we'd have to tell the next owners that we have reported him before.

1.1k · February 13, 2018

Drain his engine oil out into a container, put the sump plug back in, then disconnect the oil pressure switch.

47,287 · February 13, 2018

Yo Talbot, you're coming across like the ultimate pub expert. You've got 2-3 people who do this shiz for a living explaining why it's a different game to diagnosing a busted Lucas alt on a mini metro, but seemingly you know better. Tell us - have you actually got involved with one of these smart charging systems and sorted it out with your multimeter? If so, then my apologies. However, if in reality you have never actually seen one and/or do not really know what one is, then I'm gonna suggest a cup of STFU.

9,492 · February 13, 2018

Report him for threatening behaviour, wouldn't advocate anything like the above, should have just told him to fuck off and mind his own business then put weedkiller on his lawn spelling cunt.

47,287 · February 13, 2018

SiC, yer man there sounds like a colossal twat. Even if he did think you were running a 'shit banger car business', most ordinary civilised people would back off if you said a car was your Grandads and he'd just gone into a home, and park it till next time they saw you with another car. If that ain't enough to put him off, there's probably no chance of ever getting any sense out of him. He sounds like a grade A dickhead.

3,832 · February 13, 2018

Why does a smart alternator even exist? What's wrong with a dumb one?

33,974 · February 13, 2018

SiC I can park my lovely* van outside his front window for s bit if it’d help*

35,884 · February 13, 2018

Just had a confrontation with my next door neighbour.

My grandad has gone into a home and given up driving. At the weekend I drove his car back to here, ready for my parents to collect it tomorrow. Anyway I popped outside this evening to give it a quick check over, top up the washer fluid and make sure everything was ok for them. I drove it down to the local Morrisons to use the air pump to top the tyres up. Upon getting there I noticed the rear tyre was completely flat.

I pumped it up, check the others and drove it home. Upon getting home, I got out my code reader to check that it was all clean. At this point my neighbour poked his head out of the window and started talking at me that I'm not supposed to be running a used car business. I politely told him I'm not and that it's my grandads car. He then shouted at me calling me a liar. At this point I started shouting and told him that my grandad is in a home and there is no reason why I can't park where I parked it.

Currently it's parked at the end of our street which is a cul-de-sac. He parks his car on one side and seems to take ownership of the whole end - despite it being a public road. As it has my grandads possentions in, I wanted to keep it at our end of the road. There is absolutely nothing of worth but it all has a lot of sentimental attachment to us and him. Last thing I wanted is to be parked out of sight, someone breaking in and rummaging + breaking through all his stuff.

Anyway at this point he stormed outside and confronted me in my face. I whipped my phone out and started recording. Despite being an old man (late 60s/early 70s), I didn't want him to hit me. Not least I couldn't exactly retaliate to protect myself without it looking like me as the guilty one.

I told him again that it was my grandads car offered him to see inside. He then told me he's going to report me to the tax man/etc.

Bit shaken up but I'm glad I've got it all on video. Fearful of what he may do next. My biggest concern is if he gets our poor little cat involved - he hates cats. I'm considering reporting him to the police but that may only antagonise the situation. Also when we come to move, I believe we'd have to tell the next owners that we have reported him before.

You've not asked for advice, so I'm not sure I should give any. However, if it were me, I'd try to keep a lid on it. Smile next time you see him, apologise for any misunderstanding, reassure him you're not running a business and offer to forget it and move on. If he's a cock about it again - then it's open season. He may well report you to HMRC, but they'll quickly discover you're a member of AS and therefore make a crippling loss on anything bought and then sold.

Good luck.

19,721 · February 13, 2018

Just had a confrontation with my next door neighbour.

My grandad has gone into a home and given up driving. At the weekend I drove his car back to here, ready for my parents to collect it tomorrow. Anyway I popped outside this evening to give it a quick check over, top up the washer fluid and make sure everything was ok for them. I drove it down to the local Morrisons to use the air pump to top the tyres up. Upon getting there I noticed the rear tyre was completely flat.
Bit shaken up but I'm glad I've got it all on video. Fearful of what he may do next. My biggest concern is if he gets our poor little cat involved - he hates cats. I'm considering reporting him to the police but that may only antagonise the situation. Also when we come to move, I believe we'd have to tell the next owners that we have reported him before.

Can I suggest that you let it calm down a bit and then go and chat to him?

Had same with my neighbour and had to wait till it all calmed down. He was grumpy old man and decided I was running a business. He had been pondering it and by the time he said something he had definitively decided in his head that I was one.

Most people don't change their car much so when I do get very suspicious.

I explained it that don't go to bookies, (didn't mention the only gambling is involving riffles) football etc it's my hobby.

I pointed out kind of cars I had and how I am always happy to show him a v5 in my name etc.

Once he had his say and calmed down he was ok. It was just fear of unknown, not understanding people can like rubbish cars etc.

He is happy as Larry now, often asks jokingly what cars I have got my eye on etc.

I reckon your gent sounds the same.

128,496 · February 13, 2018

Bollocks, go and thunderpunch him in the throat.

Ok, maybe not.

38,278 · February 13, 2018

Thanks for the advice. I've hardly slept all night as been up feeling unwell. Unsure if its the illness bug going around work or just stress. I wrote a letter overnight and popped it in this morning.

3,058 · February 13, 2018

Something is really boiling my piss at the moment.

Bombardier.

Why do all the trendy media pronounce it as BOMB-BAR-DEE-AY?

The correct way of saying it (to the best of my knowledge) is BOMB-BAR-DEER.

Surely, it's an old army rank, isn't it?

3,384 · February 13, 2018

Did the letter say “wind it in you cantankerous old cunt or i’ll put YOU in a fucking home”

35,884 · February 13, 2018

AFAIK - the train company has always been pronounced BomBARdeeyay. The beer has always been BombbahDEER.

What boils MY piss is people pispronouncing the word pronunciation.

3,058 · February 13, 2018

Oh dear.

4,461 · February 13, 2018

Something is really boiling my piss at the moment.
Bombardier.
Why do all the trendy media pronounce it as BOMB-BAR-DEE-AY?
The correct way of saying it (to the best of my knowledge) is BOMB-BAR-DEER.
Surely, it's an old army rank, isn't it?

It's BOMB-BAR-DEE-AY because it's a Canadian company with headquarters in Quebec and that's how they pronounce it.

3,526 · February 13, 2018

Drain his engine oil out into a container, put the sump plug back in, then disconnect the oil pressure switch.

Just an off the cuff remark with no real thought put into it?

The grumpy thread

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