The grumpy thread

[Guest Hooli]

Why the actual cunting fuck do you need wifi on a fucking washing machine???

To automatically order you washing powder of course,.

[clayts450]

Angry at myself for running a red light and today got the anticipated postal slap from the rozzers. 

 

Luckily* I can go on a £92 half day course to avoid points/prosecution....

 

Bang to rights, and no mistake guvnor

[Mr A Lawrence]

Why the actual cunting fuck do you need wifi on a fucking washing machine???

So the wife can connect it to her phone and use it in the following scenarios......

 

1, start it remotely if she's forgotten to turn it on.

2, use the clean & service functions

3, see if it's finished its cycle instead of walking into the kitchen 10 feet away

4, remotely pause it mid cycle in case it wakes the neighbours/dogs/me up.

 

I didn't really know what wifi on a washing machine would add to our busy* lifestyle but it's the future man.

[Des]

Why the actual cunting fuck do you need wifi on a fucking washing machine???

To complain to the internet of the inevitable failure, in rather short order, of the fucking modern shit.

[mercrocker]

I can imagine Mrs Rocker with a wi-fi washing machine.   She has only had automatics for about 15 years - before that she was a modern 50s twin-tub wifey.   

 

She doesn't even take her eyes off the bastard during the wash cycle in case it springs a leak or otherwise malfunctions.   "We could go out, love, it will switch itself off...." does not wash with her (see what I did there...)

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Why the actual cunting fuck do you need wifi on a fucking washing machine???

 

So it can tweet it's not managed to remove the skidmarks........... undoubtedly.

I don't see the problem with slapping it on timer if you don't want the washing sitting in the machine wet all day - we really are coming up with new and improved ways to increase obesity!

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Manners - I know it's a subject that's hammered into sumbission - but it really gets on my tits...........

 

1.    I'm the father to a 7yr old....... and luckily get regular comments on how well mannered he is (it'll change as he approaches puberty I know!) - but I can't understand how other parents, with kids in tow can barge a child out of the way as if they don't exist. You're supposed to be setting the example you pricks! You're the first to complain if any kids don't show the resepct you 'deserve' being an elder....... it' a two way street pal - fucking earn it!

 

2.   How can anyone with bloody eyes sit and ignore an elderly (older than me even!) gent/lady or pregnant commuter and not have the decency to use their own younger/none pregnant legs to support themselves for the few minutes they're on the damn Metro? Byron rockets out of his seat without any prompting and I'm right there with him.

I've tried explaining that we're not all taught/brought up the same way - and have tried to stop him from loudly pointing out the ignorance of those around us....... but to be honest I'm now out of excuses for others shitty attitudes. If they don't appreciate being shamed for their selfish behaviour by a 7yr old - f*** 'em! He can say it - it might actually make the lazy ignorant twunts think a bit........

 

sorry - rant over!

[Parky]

Agree with that.

 

My 13 year old son is a stroppy little shit at home but outside he is a thoroughly mature young man. I think the 7 years of martial arts taught him something.

 

My Nan taught me manners - basic stuff like holding doors open, giving up a seat, gentleman pays and walks on the outside, that sort of thing. I still do all of it, manners maketh the man after all.

[AlabamaShrimp]

My sons 7 and it's nearly the same.

 

Thing with me I ran out of excuses pretty fast and just tell him straight that some people are knob heads, they'll never understand what they've done even if you told them 20 times a d you just be as good as you can.

[Cavcraft]

Amen to the manners bit, it probably explains the grunting morons on Gumtree and Facebook who just a figure (stupidly low, obvs) and no actual comment in when you advertise something.

[Supernaut]

On the subject of helping the old and frail etc. I remember in my early 20s I was parked up in my scabby 306, dressed in my usual "grunge band roadie" garb waiting for my girlfriend at the time. I was picking her up from the hairdressers or something. Anyway, an old woman walking past on the pavement tripped over. I immediately jumped out of the car, leaving the door open and the keys in (still blaring some heavy metal) and helped her up. The look on her face! She probably thought I was going to mug her! Made my day, that did.

 

 

 

 

gentleman pays and walks on the outside

A few dates I've been on in the past couple of years... If I try to pay for the coffees all by myself I get dirty looks. They've not turned into second dates funnily enough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Amen to the manners bit, it probably explains the grunting morons on Gumtree and Facebook who just a figure (stupidly low, obvs) and no actual comment in when you advertise something.

I think we've covered that before, haven't we? It's rubbish design on gumtree's part. If you fill in the 'make an offer' box, it simply sends the number as a message to the seller.

[dave21478]

Wifi washing machines can FUCK RIGHT OFF OUT OF TOWN. Nobody - and I do mean fucking NOBODY needs a wifi washing machine. It's just yet another example of cuntish designers and manufacturers telling people what they "need" and the sheep go along with it because people are now taught since they were toddlers that they need the latest best newest shiniest etc...

From an enviro-hippy point of view resources are dwindling and we are approaching a real actual energy crisis....ideal time to put a load of superfluous electronic shit on a kitchen appliance.

From a consumer point of view washing machines have been getting less reliable every year so how can adding a load of wifi shit possibly make it better?

The designers need to take that wifi shit out and ram it right up their arses. The money saved would be a lot better spent on better bearings, a better motor and stuff like that.... you know, actually useful stuff.

And while they are doing that, they can ram stuff like touch screen controls down their Japs eyes. Do you know what I DON'T want to do when I switch on a washing machine? I don't want to stand there like a tit for 20 seconds while the cunt boots up. Washing machines don't need to BOOT UP they don't need any electronics at all... It's a fucking metal box that sits in often damp rooms that spins your clothes round and gets them wet.... Vibrations and damp.... Shit conditions for electronics, ideal conditions for electro-mechanical switches... You know... Like they used to be 40 fucking years ago when they didn't break down irreparably after two years.

[Eddie Honda]

You know... Like they used to be 40 fucking years ago when they didn't break down irreparably after two years.

And cost a bloody month's wages. Probably.

[dave21478]

Aye they might have been dear but when you could literally pass the thing on to your children like a family heirloom because it still worked as good as the day it was bought 30odd years later it was a good investment.

[dollywobbler]

A few dates I've been on in the past couple of years... If I try to pay for the coffees all by myself I get dirty looks. They've not turned into second dates funnily enough.

 

 

Seem to recall Mrs DW insisted on splitting the bill on our first date. She doesn't go in for this 'gentleman' guff, which is a good job really! I think most women agree that the desire for more equality goes both ways.

 

Speaking of which, I was very distressed to learn that my six-year old niece apparently wants to be a boy, because they get to be engineers and stuff. How the heck has she got that in her head at six?! Chatting with other kids at school apparently. She certain't hasn't been nurtured into that mindset. I'm making a mental note to convince her otherwise on our next visit.

[Supernaut]

Wifi washing machines can FUCK RIGHT OFF OUT OF TOWN. Nobody - and I do mean fucking NOBODY needs a wifi washing machine. It's just yet another example of cuntish designers and manufacturers telling people what they "need" and the sheep go along with it because people are now taught since they were toddlers that they need the latest best newest shiniest etc...

From an enviro-hippy point of view resources are dwindling and we are approaching a real actual energy crisis....ideal time to put a load of superfluous electronic shit on a kitchen appliance.

From a consumer point of view washing machines have been getting less reliable every year so how can adding a load of wifi shit possibly make it better?

The designers need to take that wifi shit out and ram it right up their arses. The money saved would be a lot better spent on better bearings, a better motor and stuff like that.... you know, actually useful stuff.

And while they are doing that, they can ram stuff like touch screen controls down their Japs eyes. Do you know what I DON'T want to do when I switch on a washing machine? I don't want to stand there like a tit for 20 seconds while the cunt boots up. Washing machines don't need to BOOT UP they don't need any electronics at all... It's a fucking metal box that sits in often damp rooms that spins your clothes round and gets them wet.... Vibrations and damp.... Shit conditions for electronics, ideal conditions for electro-mechanical switches... You know... Like they used to be 40 fucking years ago when they didn't break down irreparably after two years.

It's all part of their cunning plan. After a couple of decades of selling unreliable, technology-laden shit, they'll bring out a "retro" model.

Said "retro" model will have all the electro-mechanical parts you mentioned, but will cost the earth and will still have some really annoying part that you can't get from anybody other than the manufacturer themself which will break and cost £££ to replace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seem to recall Mrs DW insisted on splitting the bill on our first date. She doesn't go in for this 'gentleman' guff, which is a good job really! I think most women agree that the desire for more equality goes both ways.

I believe in equality too, but it's when somebody acts offended when I try to pay the whole bill, instead of simply politely saying "I'll get my half" that I meant to point out (badly).

[twosmoke300]

I think joining air cadets / army cadets / scouts etc makes youngsters much more polite .

[strangeangel]

Wifi washing machines can FUCK RIGHT OFF OUT OF TOWN...

 

 

Amen to that. The Internet of Things in general can join them on the same train.

[Cavcraft]

 

A few dates I've been on in the past couple of years... If I try to pay for the coffees all by myself I get dirty looks. They've not turned into second dates

Free drink, potential shag, you don't have to see them again and this is on the grumpy thread?

[Supernaut]

Free drink, potential shag, you don't have to see them again and this is on the grumpy thread?

If only things were that straight-forward!

[chaseracer]

...I was very distressed to learn that my six-year old niece apparently wants to be a boy, because they get to be engineers and stuff. How the heck has she got that in her head at six?! Chatting with other kids at school apparently. She certain't hasn't been nurtured into that mindset. I'm making a mental note to convince her otherwise on our next visit.

 

If this is the one who came to Chinnor railway at SF16, I think she's got the smarts to be whatever she wants to be!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

The 1100/1800 drivers (with a Scottie dog on the rear window shelf) have all died off....

There are still folks about who have dogs on the rear shelf & 45-to-Nought in 0.5secs will STILL convert hound into a cannonball TS

 

Scottie dog? Pah! Amateurs.

On long journeys my dad made a bed up on the parcel shelf of the Viscount for my little brother to sleep when he was about 2.( my brother not my dad)

[Pillock]

For the record, the next washing machine I have is definitely going to have WiFi.

[Timewaster]

Earlier this year I bought a fridge. They had touch screen Internet fridges.

 

3x the price of the one I bought.

 

I have no idea why it has Internet. It can probably cross reference the contents of the fridge with your club card records and remind you to buy fish or something.

[strangeangel]

For the record, the next washing machine I have is definitely going to have WiFi.

 

Why?

[Supernaut]

For the record, the next washing machine I have is definitely going to have WiFi.

Get out.

 

Actually, no. That's harsh. Just make sure it's secure and not just left on factory defaults.

[Pillock]

Because I love that sort of thing.

You're talking about someone who can tweet his kettle to boil it, see what the fridge temperature is, turn on the TV by asking it nicely and says goodnight to the house when it's bedtime to turn everything off.

 

So it would be nice to find out how long the washer has to run without walking through the house if I'm working, or get a text when it's finished - or a reminder hours later when I forgot to take the wet stuff out.

[Kiltox]

I'd like to be able to turn off my integrated dishwasher using my phone / Alexa because it BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEPs when it's finished unless you open it and turn it off. Cunting thing.

 

Got a couple of Hive smart bulbs at the moment, pretty cool.

[Pillock]

I've got a few Hue bulbs and Hive heating, I tend to steer clear of things that are their own ecosystem though for fear of being locked in. Hue bulbs for example can be "reset" and paired to my hub, Hive can't. IKEA do some cheap bulbs now too.

 

Latest piece, since someone sideswiped my car and drove off, is a pair of cameras. One is USB plugged into my router (cost zero as it came from work years ago) and one is a fancy panning tilting one for £30 from Gearbest. Both are going to be controlled by the house, eg recording clips when doors open or people come and go. I can also check the kids leave for school on time when I'm at work

[Pillock]

Get out.

 

Actually, no. That's harsh. Just make sure it's secure and not just left on factory defaults.

Only the Samsung interface is accessible from outside the house, and that's my personal account rather than admin:password style access. It also needs the app rather than a website, and I'd get a notification that a new device has been added.

 

I tell a lie, I can also SSH into it but that's got key access rather than password.

 

AFAIK, the SmartThings hub provides a level of abstraction since it's all ZigBee. None of my smart kit uses WiFi so you can't just guess my public IP and connect to it

 

I'll admit, it does worry me a bit but I've had a go at breaking into it and I didn't manage it.