The grumpy thread

[dollywobbler]

My grump of the week: people who can't drive slowly. 

 

When I'm not piloting chod, I ride a bike. I'm fairly certain that most drivers don't mean to lumber along right behind me, fannying about with gears, dipping the clutch, getting really close then backing away again. They just can't hold a steady 10mph.

 

This isn't a one off. This is every day for the past two years.

 

When I was learning to drive in a Nova, with the notchiest gearbox from hell, you had to learn to change down smoothly and drive slowly. Nowadays it feels like anyone in a modern is incapable of doing less than 20.

 

To be fair, the Rover is a bit shitty at 10mph or below. You think it'll just chug along nicely like a diesel should, but then it goes all kangaroo-ey and makes you look like an incompetent twat. Apart from when it's absolutely fine. I haven't quite sussed it out yet, but then most of my driving in it so far has been at 70mph or above. 

[Supernaut]

My Xantia is sumptuous at any speed I choose.

Usually as fast as fucking possible, mind.

[beko1987]

I get a look of disgust in my xantia coming behind a cyclist, dropping into second at 20mph then lifting the clutch up slowly to catch the nice slow tickover to take me down to 5mph makes the exhaust bellow as the revs rise then start to fall as the engine braking sorts the speed out

 

Then I overtake them at the next opportunity, after sitting a nice distance behind, and even reving to 2.5k makes a noise, if I go too far to 2.52k it billows black smoke out too.

 

Im sorry cyclists, I do try to be courteous, its easier if I can just waft past without breaking speed...

[twosmoke300]

Modern landrovers just can't go slow without kangarooing . Td5 and the puma engined ones are both terrible for it.

[Tamworthbay]

My old MGB GT daily was fine an any speed part from 60mph where it used to hunt and pop and fart. 55mph fine, 65 fine just not 60. Unfortunately that is a pain in the arse in any road used by artics that isn't a motorway as you can either pop and fart along and look incompetent or sit at 55mph with a different artic 2mm from your bumper. I tries all sorts but never sorted that issue.

[garbaldy]

Slowly turning into victor meldrew, which is a grump in itself.

 

We have got a bit of parking out the front of our house (end of a cul-de-sac). According to land registry bit of paper we own it.

 

Neighbour knocks and speaks to missus, asks her to move her car from the communal land as got a party tomorrow and friends want to park there.

 

I would have explained above, but missus just said ok. It's stupidly making me quite cross.

Gerroff my land.

[burraston2006]

[mercrocker]

I totally get the Moog grump.....Our close is not designed for modern living, a clump of mainly pre-war houses and a small unadopted access road. We have two spaces outside our house and my car port in the back garden.   Gets my arse when people cannot park their bloated modern shit close to a fence or in their own drives and then invite about twenty other fuckers round for a barbecue none of whom can park or walk from the nearby main road car parks.     

 

Then they have the nerve to knock my door for contributions to road repairs - its not me that scuffs the bastard up with over-tyred SUVs on full fucking lock because they cannot do a three point turn.   I have seriously got people up in the middle of the night to move their shit out of my space.   Fucking Napoleon, me.....

[burraston2006]

Grump today is youngsters who can't keep up! Got guests here:he's 2 years younger (40) and she is 10 years younger than us. To be polite we went out on the sherbet last night staggering home at 3am. Me and the millstone have been up and about for a couple of hours already and the youngsters are still in bed! I mean bank holiday weekend and all that but half the day has gone already!!!

[Snipes]

I'd also advise going to the GP. Four years ago I went through depression, though I had already turned the corner by the time I sought help.

 

I know I had a problem when I spent an evening googling the easiest ways to do myself in.

[purplebargeken]

Well back in North London after a few days away. Can't find a parking spot in our road, nor the two fucking adjacent roads.

 

Welcome back!

[Cavcraft]

Had a short passenger ride in a 65 plate Nissan Cashcow diesel thing. Expected to really dislike it, but it was a lovely car.

[maxpower]

Neighbour... well 2 doors down... the other night heard an almighty bang... goes out to back garden and finds remains of what was a full bottle of water exploded all over the place. guy next door is out as well on his balcony so has all round vision but doesn't see anyone.. this is 1.30am.. so after a look around for anyone hanging about around the block..it all quietens down... 2hrs later...BOOM! samething again.. now this twat 2 doors down has his window open..its roof height..lights off but tv on.. this has been going on for 3 nights running now..one time his mum said one landed in her garden (slipped outta her sons hand maybe in mid throw?) but its been mine and the next door that has been getting the brunt of stuff...bottled water..even fkin potatoes.. that splatter everywhere..it happened again last night.. so i sneaked out to my car as i can see his bedroom window from where i park...fkin sat there until 1.30 this morning watching..NOTHING... so i gave up and went indoors.. only for it to happen at 4.30am this morning!!...i will catch the cnut and when i do he will be cleaning up my back garden then sent home with a fkin 4x2 wrapped around his thick fkin skull.

[omegod]

Had a visitor last night in the form of a very scrawny and sick cat that appeared at our front door , poor little fucker was completely deaf with mangy ears and could barely see. I'm not a cat lover by any means but this was pitiful and stank to high heaven, I gave it a tin of tuna and some milk which it got stuck into while I rang the RSPCA who, when they answered 40 minutes later were completely fucking useless despite having a shelter 10 minutes away which was closed.  I couldn't bring it in as my dog would go mental.

 

I found it again totally disorientated in the middle of the road so managed to put it in a box and took it to the PDSA. No microchip found sadly and he was in terrible shape, skin and bone,dehydrated and summat bad going on inside his abdomen according to the vet, they kept it and would see if the RSPCA would take it today but I suspect he will have been euthanised by now   better that than be left half dead in a gutter after being run over or ripped up by a dog it couldn't hear coming. Hardly slept last night thinking about him, hundreds have people must have seen him like that and no fucker helped him before it got to this stage        

[Lord Sterling]

At least you tried to save it omegod. Hence the 'like'

 

My grump: Insurance.

 

My renewal is due in a few days on the BMW. Got a rewenal letter stating that they wanted more money from me. £600 last year and now more than £700 this year. Phoned them up znd tried to negotiate with them as my circumstances/work etc.. had changed but this made it go up more despite me not using the car during the week because of work. So in the end I told them to do one. So now it's back to the drawing board searching for a new insurance company. Brill.

[Cavcraft]

Good on you Omegod, hope they did manage to save it in the end.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I ordered a set of brake discs ("✔ IN STOCK") a week ago, and today phoned the vendor to ask where they were. Of course, they never had any to send out. Now I am waiting for my refund.

 

This is the second time this has happened in the last couple of months. At least the first time they didn't take my money. Why do they do this?

[purplebargeken]

Sounds like the poor puss was on its last legs and you did the kindest thing. Glad someone gave a shit.

[MarvinsMom]

been into town this afternoon, as i had to buy a birthday card for me dear old ma, and also one for the god son.

 

so why the grump?

 

the card shop has given over to the whole back wall to xmas cards.

 

yes that's right, xmas cards in the shops in fuggin august.

 

plus T J Hughes were busy putting out on sale the xmas decorations.

 

bastards,

[purplebargeken]

Mrs PBK said that if I sell a couple of cars I can buy a van to convert to a camper or similar.

 

So. A LEZ compliant van, so either up to date dizzler or petrol.

 

Budget to purchase, a few hundred quid.

 

That is so going to happen.

[omegod]

Heading to posh Southport to pick up another Omega to break up, two lads with the wagon are rough as dockers and the cars owner is super posh, this could be an uncomfortable/entertaining hour

[Cavcraft]

Mrs PBK said that if I sell a couple of cars I can buy a van to convert to a camper or similar.

 

So. A LEZ compliant van, so either up to date dizzler or petrol.

 

Budget to purchase, a few hundred quid.

 

That is so going to happen.

 

 

You're not that tall are you, Ken?

 

[purplebargeken]

I am if I lie down.

[wuvvum]

Mrs PBK said that if I sell a couple of cars I can buy a van to convert to a camper or similar.

 

So. A LEZ compliant van, so either up to date dizzler or petrol.

 

Budget to purchase, a few hundred quid.

 

That is so going to happen.

 

They do come up occasionally for under a monkey, usually rather tatty Mk6 Transits.  I got my 02 plate Movano dirt cheap last year, but then that was a megabarg as very badly advertised, and I've spent a few quid on it since.  They do occasionally come up, but you might be searching for quite a few weeks before you find owt.

 

You might find a petrol Freight Rover cheap though.

[purplebargeken]

There is no dire rush tbh. I'll just keep an eye out and see what turns up. The most tedious bit will be the LEZ shite, sigh.

[Tamworthbay]

I ordered a set of brake discs ("✔ IN STOCK") a week ago, and today phoned the vendor to ask where they were. Of course, they never had any to send out. Now I am waiting for my refund.

 

This is the second time this has happened in the last couple of months. At least the first time they didn't take my money. Why do they do this?

I have had this as well on Dolomite bits of all things. The twat who lied about having a solenoid in stock ended up costing me over a week off the road.

[Cavcraft]

Some weirdo mini-cab driver who upset my daughter today. Big mistake that.

[saucedoctor]

Phones. I dunno WTF o2 have been doing, but the signal in my house is awful. They won't give me one of those booster things because I'm a tightarse and am on PAYG. Vodafone and Three don't work at all, and EE are pigfuckers that I will have nothing to do with. With o2, I can get voice and SMS if I stay on 2G/GSM, and any data is dealt with by WiFi.

 

BUT: Despite me telling it to FUCKING STAY on 2G/GSM, my sodding SGS3 running on CyanoGenMod 13 tries to get on to 3G, and consequently loses it altogether. Therefore, anyone who tries to phone me thinks my phone is off. I borrowed a bog, stock S5 and it does the same thing. I even reverted my S3 to JellyBean and it will not do what it's told either, even when using the *#*#4636#*#* trick.

 

The only phone I can get my hands on that will stay on 2G unless instructed otherwise is

 

a

 

bloody

 

iPhone.

 

I could weep.

[Des]

Welcome to the club brah.

 

 

Remember, the first rule of iphone club, you must tell everyone about iphone club.

[saucedoctor]

:D