The grumpy thread

[Slartibartfast]

I found their Volvo vs Renault one eye opening, even if the result was predictable from the way they hyped it up if nothing else.

[UmBongo]

Why does this woman come to your house?

She's a mentalist.

[xtriple]

She's a mentalist.

I think you are correct. I really do not know why she comes round all the time. she drives me mad and her dog is a pain in the butt. I think she thinks I like her and need to pour loads of coffee down her throat to make my life complete. Being 'promoted' to GBF is a worrying development.

 

I should 'man the fuck up' and tell her to go and play with the traffic, but I doubt I will. I hate being rude and I have been once to her and she left me alone for a week or two and then was back....

[HH-R]

I watched a couple of Fifth Gear's videos from from looking at their crash tests mentioned above and there's one one where they pointlessly smash up an old Merc. I have no real love for them but can appreciate them for what they are, and it looked like a pretty straight example, i.e a complete waste of a working car. The tests were just stupid, we'll drive this old Merc into water up to the grille - what will happen L0LZ?!?!?! Well it will hydrolock you bunch of morons, just like any other ROAD CAR with an air intake not designed for driving into four feet of water. Chewing gum for the eyes.

 

'Scuse me whilst I see what happens when I put my head in a blender.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I think you are correct. I really do not know why she comes round all the time. she drives me mad and her dog is a pain in the butt. I think she thinks I like her and need to pour loads of coffee down her throat to make my life complete. Being 'promoted' to GBF is a worrying development.

 

I should 'man the fuck up' and tell her to go and play with the traffic, but I doubt I will. I hate being rude and I have been once to her and she left me alone for a week or two and then was back....

 

Bosh up a pic of her and some advice will no doubt be provided!!!

[Junkman]

I watched a couple of Fifth Gear's videos from from looking at their crash tests mentioned above and there's one one where they pointlessly smash up an old Merc. I have no real love for them but can appreciate them for what they are, and it looked like a pretty straight example, i.e a complete waste of a working car. The tests were just stupid, we'll drive this old Merc into water up to the grille - what will happen L0LZ?!?!?! Well it will hydrolock you bunch of morons, just like any other ROAD CAR with an air intake not designed for driving into four feet of water. Chewing gum for the eyes.

 

'Scuse me whilst I see what happens when I put my head in a blender.

 

 

This is the publicity photo of the DEKRA test centre they opened about ten years ago:

 

[Split_Pin]

I remember the 740vs Modus one as well, it was quite surprising.

 

The whole ESC thing annoyed me because I reckon so many people around where I live drive cars that are far too big and powerful for them to handle, but that they get away without having an accident because the car changes their nappy over every driving decision.

[purplebargeken]

I am still of the opinion that my plan is the best one so far, irrespective of perceived body shape. 

 

I watched the darts last night, when did darts get hot looking birds prancing around?

[dave21478]

Good ol ebay leboncoin tards.

 

My Mazda pickup is collecting dust so I banged an ad up last night with a brutally honest description and a reasonable price. 

Over the next couple of hours my inbox has filled up with messages from tards expecting a brand new car with a three year guarantee.

I picked the first one who sounded coherent and hadnt written phonetically and called him up. He wants to come on Wednesday, seems fairly keen and will apparently phone to confirm on tuesday evening. Well....ok then, we will see. I hedged my bets and picked out the next two who sounded normal and told them i would let them know if this guy fails to show up. One of them has been very insistant that I let him queue jump and has offered 50% more than my asking price without even seeing it. While the extra money would be nice, its a shitty thing to do to the first guy and I would be willing to bet that this guys higher offer would evaporate pretty rapidly once he has seen the car in the metal.

[beko1987]

Currently trying to find some enthusiasm to go outside in the rain a d cold to fix my wheel arch liner back together.

 

Not finding any so far...

[Louise2cv]

I prefer the BDO/ Lakeside championship. The standard's nowhere near as high but I just don't like the constant racket from the PDC crowd.

 

"Stand up...If you love the darts" - How about sitting down and actually fucking watching it.

Me too. If I want a cheering and jeering football crowd I'll watch football ta. It's like the difference between the way rugby union and rubgy league looks too. Garish loud colours, cartoony strips and visual noise and bunny girls. NAFF.

 

Gutted BBC won't be showing the Lakeside next year. Christmas followed by World's Strongest Man followed by the darts is tradition!

[dollywobbler]

 

Gutted BBC won't be showing the Lakeside next year. Christmas followed by World's Strongest Man followed by the darts is tradition!

 

WHAT?! Darts is one reason for buying a sodding TV licence!  ARSE.

[Ghosty]

Just watched all of 5th Gear's "Crash Tests". What a load of tosh.

 

For example, scaremongering you into thinking that any car not equipped with ESC was dangerous by performing an avoidance swerve at 70 in a Yaris which, when not dramatic enough, the driver guided it into the rough whereupon its wheels eventually dug in and the car tipped over.

 

Or the head on collision between a 2002 Grand Scenic and (1989 designed) Discovery, which obviously came off worse.

 

 

Isn't there one where they send a Corsa B and a Smart into a concrete central barrier at a ridiculous angle to prove that Smarts are lethal on motorways, despite the fact that you'd have to be insane to drive a Smart at 70?

[Louise2cv]

Like F1, BBC ditched the darts because: Not enough money.

I guess Steve Wright, Jeremy Vine and Jonathan Ross must be working for free >: (

[Slartibartfast]

Like F1 BBC ditched the darts because: Not enough money.

 

I guess Steve Wright, Jeremy Vine and Jonathan Ross must be working for free >: (

I believe Mr Ross is currently in the employ of the Other Lot

[chaseracer]

Autoshite is the least qualified place to dish out advice about unwanted women turning up at your house.

 

True.  

 

Unlikely to change anytime soon, though... 

 

[Louise2cv]

I believe Mr Ross is currently in the employ of the Other Lot

 

Which probably means they paid him even more for filling in for Steve Wright on R2 recently

[eddyramrod]

Our niece has a Picasso she's been using for business (upcycling furniture).  She's decided it's had enough at 10 years old and is sorting herself out a van, which seems a good move.  She's been offered £80 for the Picasso as a trade!  I said to MrsR, I'd give her that, we could even go down and pick it up today (despite the weather) and if I didn't like it much I'd Roffle it.  Er, no, apparently I'm not allowed to get involved.

[gordonbennet]

Those 5th gear crash tests are utter bollocks, back in the real world when white van man pole axes you up the arse at breakneck speed sending you under the lorry in front, if i have to suffer that i'll be in the Volvo 7/9 over the Modus every time ta.

[eddyramrod]

Oi!  I AM white van man!  And I'm not up everyone's arse at insane speeds.

[Slartibartfast]

Those 5th gear crash tests are utter bollocks, back in the real world when white van man pole axes you up the arse at breakneck speed sending you under the lorry in front, if i have to suffer that i'll be in the Volvo 7/9 over the Modus every time ta.

I'm not an expert, but if the modus has a non-deforming, reinforced passenger cabin, and the Volvo's has been proven to deform pretty badly, doesn't that mean you're going to come out of it worse in the Volvo whichever direction the force is being applied? I mean, I love me an old Volvo, but I think it's worth being realistic about the developments in safety since it was made.

[hairnet]

Like F1, BBC ditched the darts because: Not enough money.

 

I guess Steve Wright, Jeremy Vine and Jonathan Ross must be working for free >: (

because the radio twats wouldnt get a look in anywhere else

[AlabamaShrimp]

Oi! I AM white van man! And I'm not up everyone's arse at insane speeds.

You would if she'd let you

[twosmoke300]

Signwritten ? Name and shame !

[michael1703]

A ferry from Liverpool to the Isle of Man in TT week.

 

£492 fucking pounds!

[jakebullet]

I was popping to see my parents earlier, and found quite a few of the roads a little flooded (nothing like Atlantis Cumbria, but enough to slow people down, and have them move to the middle of the road).

 

I was in a line of 5 or so cars which were in the centre of the road in a bit of a convoy at about 10mph to clear the flooding on either side of the road. Some utter fucking spunktrumpet in a sign-written transit came barrelling (well, maybe 30mph) past on the wrong side of the road through the now small gap which was left. By the time he got to the end of the flooded area however, there was an MPV which was sat waiting for our convoy to come through, so the transit mounted the pavement on the wrong side of the road (still at the best part of 30mph) and passed the MPV like that. Fucking BELL.

 

They probably saved themselves all of 15 seconds. I hope their suspension is clobbered from bouncing up and down the pavement.

 

I had similar when paddling in the Leeds flood. Taking it steady in my disco when some nugget in an L200 blasts up the inside of me at warp 10. I'm sure the people pushing their flooded motor enjoyed the soaking from the fuckwit. I so wanted a manhole cover to be missing, but it never happens to twunts does it?

[purplebargeken]

Picasso? I'd love a picasso. I have a 100 quid here.

[plasticvandan]

This is what happens when a BMW repmobile doesn't pay attention:-(

[dave21478]

Thats..... not good.  I hope no injuries.

[fordperv]

Shit the bed, that poor reliant, hope the driver wasn't hurt