The grumpy thread

[dugong]

kyle,wayne,craig,daz,sean, all names i avoid lol

 

Another one is 'darryl'. 

 

As in the author of the 'wil give u 250 4 gaerbox n engni 2 nite' note left on the windscreen of my 460 one evening. 

 

All the Waynes, Craigs and Dazzes I know have been fine, upstanding chaps with normal-diameter necks (Burton had a sale on)  - so results clearly vary. Don't know any Seans, so I can't comment in that regard. 

[HillmanImp]

Edited for my liking.

Its the language thing, if i cant speak the language I hate it. Sadly I cant speak any languages other than English and even thats a mix of Scottish, Southern, Yorkshite and 'Ull, so my travel options are limited. I can normally pick up enough to get by in places but am REALLY struggling with Turkish. Can't retain a single word in my head and know i look like a right ignorant SYNT when i just point at shit and shout English at them.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Pointing and shouting is an English tradition in foreign lands and is always 100% guaranteed to be understood

[EssDeeWon]

I usually go to Greece for my hols, never had an issue with language. Turkey is a country I have never been too, but if the suns out, there is beer and a pool that sounds good to me.

[Bobthebeard]

Vodafone..... For fucks sake sort out your website/customer interface.

What a load of crap.

Website just sends you into a loop. Online advisors 'may' answer, but if they do, it will be along the lines of " Hello, my name is Olangodoo, how may I help you today?"

After 20 minutes trying to tell Olangodoo that I have been trying to register my phone on the website to access my account the web chat thing crashes....

Breathe, try again.

"Hello, you are speaking to Serendipity, how may I help you"?

"Oh, hello, I have just.....

Sorry, we are just making a few tweaks to our website, please try again later....

Apologies for quoting myself, but it seems that the DVLA website is being run by, guess who? Vodafone!

Good luck there Doovla!

[EssDeeWon]

^^Taxed the BMW this afternoon, took just over 1 minute from googling the website to paying for my tax. Think the month end rush is over now...

[vulgalour]

Yay, I fixed the alarm on the Xantia!  I'll just double check by closing and opening the doo... WOOOWOOWOOWOOFLASHFLASHFLASHWOOWOOWOO

 

 

¬.¬

[Craig the Princess]

kyle,wayne,craig,daz,sean, all names i avoid lol

Oi! Wil uz tak dat bak?

[fordperv]

Oi! Wil uz tak 120 tonite?

[dollywobbler]

Its the language thing, if i cant speak the language I hate it. Sadly I cant speak any languages other than English and even thats a mix of Scottish, Southern, Yorkshite and 'Ull, so my travel options are limited. I can normally pick up enough to get by in places but am REALLY struggling with Turkish. Can't retain a single word in my head and know i look like a right ignorant SYNT when i just point at shit and shout English at them.

 

I can sympathise with that. Driving through Germany in a ropey old H van was a nightmare because I don't speak one word of German. Ended up on Babelfish translating on a computer at one point! That was when the exploded windscreen was repaired. We must have said something right as they gave us a bottle of champagne for some reason. Scandinavia was a lot easier, because everyone speaks English with a lovely sing-song accent. I speak enough French to get by, but it's still hard work. Going abroad does generally make me feel like an ignorant f*ck though. That and skintness mean I haven't crossed the channel in four years. Shame as France is actually very lovely. 

[purplebargeken]

Sore throat and a looming cold. Everything smells and tastes like dusty old 70's carpet. I hate dusty carpets. 

[dugong]

Scandinavia was a lot easier, because everyone speaks English with a lovely sing-song accent.

Yes. This was why I found it difficult to leave Stockholm.

 

Met FATHA_DUGONG at the hire car booth in Arlanda airport the last time I was there. FATHA_DUGONG is one of the few people I know left with a old-fashioned paper driving license - a battered, chewed up green document with bits of tape hanging off it. The staff were clearly used to seeing the newer V5s and the sight of that knackered old thing prompted much mirth - so much so that the (much older) manager came out and had a butcher's as well. All the employees - including said manager - were stunningly beautiful. We both left feeling fat and inadequate.

 

I blame not being able to buy booze at the weekend. I have to say, when five or six rental car folk crowded round it, poking the poor thing and chortling, it sounded like being in a conference room with the Swedish chef. My Swedish is poor, but I definitely heard the equivalent of 'where's the treasure?' being asked a few times.

[Cavcraft]

Youtube: If I wanted some twatty knackered promotional video for a promotions company, I'd have entered that. When, however, I type in Paloma Faith, and Palmona Faith is the top listing believe it or not, I actually expect Paloma Fucking faith. NOT THE BASTARDING ADVERT YOU QUICKLY PUT AT THE TOP. 

[Micrashed]

Todays grump has been brought to you by the numbers 1 and 6 and the letter E.

 

1 & 2 see ebay name and shame section

 

3) being infomed  that the NHS trust I work for is to shed 8 of the 17 nurses my grade, only they wont make them redundant they will just "skills match them" or to put it another way, down grade them and move them elsewhere - so just before Christmas I have a competetive interview for my own job. They have been planning this for 2 years and we have 45 days to suggest a "better way" of doing things.

 

4) eBay. just bloody bloody eBay.

 

5) Working for the NHS. I love my job, but there are some right cocks running the NHS these days.

[dugong]

3) Make the management go through the same selection process and then before an arbitrary firing squad?

[Lord Sterling]

5) Working for the NHS. I love my job, but there are some right cocks running the NHS these days.

Ole' Ma_Sterling finally walked out of her job at Preston. They treated her like shit and gave her a bad reference. Good riddence I say, since I went to France she'd been waking up at 5am to travel from Brum to Preston for work and back every single day. Thankfully she has a new job coming up a lot nearer to home.

 

Good luck for the future.

[EssDeeWon]

Good luck Micra, think positive. There is just as much chance your job will be more secure after this pending interview process mate.

[STUNO]

Its the language thing, if i cant speak the language I hate it. Sadly I cant speak any languages other than English and even thats a mix of Scottish, Southern, Yorkshite and 'Ull, so my travel options are limited. I can normally pick up enough to get by in places but am REALLY struggling with Turkish. Can't retain a single word in my head and know i look like a right ignorant SYNT when i just point at shit and shout English at them.

 

I is from the colonials. Yous all has to point and shout SLOWLY so we kin unnerstind.

[Station]

I'm actually half starting to reply to these thinking they're serious now:

 

[dugong]

Any more gems?

[EssDeeWon]

I'm actually half starting to reply to these thinking they're serious now:

 

 

Again, reply with   'Hi Bergerac yeah some tape over arches and it would be close to concourse and drive anywhere with no issues, Charlie Hungerford will be well jealous and probably offer you mega bucks for it'

[dugong]

Again, reply with   'Hi Bergerac yeah some tape over arches and it would be close to concourse and drive anywhere with no issues, Charlie Hungerford will be well jealous and probably offer you mega bucks for it'

Please eff off and launder some 'ot money.

Then buy a Triumph Herald.

[EssDeeWon]

Small signs of oil on the ground indicate to a leaking rear diff on the BMW.

 

Yeah I know, they all do that !!

[Sigmund Fraud]

I've been looking at Duttons on eBay...

 

Grump 1 : How can an ugly, MoT-less, plastic shitheap made of obsolete Ford bits bolted onto a crude frame by the world's least mechanically minded man be selling for £1500 ?

 

Grump 2 : What the fuck am I doing looking at Duttons on eBay ? Have I completely lost the plot ?

[dugong]

I've been looking at Duttons on eBay...

 

Grump 1 : How can an ugly, MoT-less, plastic shitheap made of obsolete Ford bits bolted onto a crude frame by the world's least mechanically minded man be selling for £1500 ?

 

Grump 2 : What the fuck am I doing looking at Duttons on eBay ? Have I completely lost the plot ?

 

Is it that Dutton Leggera? I have a weird liking for that, and imagine it would be rather handy with a few tweaks. The Maxton Rollerskate looked very similar. 

 

Look at it this way - it's an MoT'd MkI Escort for £1495. 

[xtriple]

I stuck a Rover V8 in a Dutton! There was bugger all room for legs or anything like that but it didn't half go well

[chaseracer]

Look at it this way - it's an MoT'd MkI Escort for £1495. 

 

But missing that one vital component that gives mk1 Scrotes their ridiculous 'value': an Escort body shell...

 

[plasticvandan]

Pricksticks who keep retracting bids on my motorcycle,the current bid has gone up and down that much the last 2 days i thought i was selling a yo-yo.

The last one to do it actualyl rang me to say how much he wanted it,could he collect next thurs etc. hes now blocked from bidding

[Micrashed]

Yup, just blocked a load of cockwobblers on bidding on my ebay items.

[plasticvandan]

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!! just happened again,now my 1620 bid has dropped to £620!!!! i have now blocked them all,and put it on the listing as well.Fuck ebay.