The grumpy thread

[Brent_Crude]

'Is that OK mate?'

 

No. It's not OK.

 

And you're not my mate, OK? Mate?

 

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Junkman]

Er... Are you OK mate?

 

Nah, he is in Grater Manchester.

 

Whereas in the rest of England, when you for example buy something, it's "that'll be X £, please", in Manchester it's "that's X £, mate".

[dugong]

Aaaand Facebook can sod off for a while. 

[greengartside]

Re: tailgating in small cars.

 

Just had this again myself tonight, driving SWMBO's Micra. Twat in a Mundano estate nearly crawling into my boot most of the way home from work, then coming off a roundabout decides if he could fit his front end in my boot. Luckily he braked before smashing into the back, but fuck me, is it really necessary? It seems like if you have anything less than a stupid fucking diesel BMW, Merc or Mondeo/Insignia then you're worth the square root of fuck all on the roads. I really fucking despair.

[fordperv]

this frigging great british weather is peeing me right off, ive got a week off work and would love to get outside and attempt to do the work required to finish one of my cars so i can fire it to the body shop and what do i get .... rain rain and more fecking rain seeming as the work i need to do is a bit of welding i dont think its wise i carry on regardless lol, the only bit of constructive work ive actually got done up to yet was pop around to my parents to strip the carb on my capri and clean it up as it was filling the carb body up with fuel, that didnt take long but at least it was purring like a kitten after and got the woman next doors curtains twitching the nosey sod

[dugong]

C4 doesn't get mithered a lot, despite it being slower than tectonic drift. 

I knew a bloke with a 205 GTI that got tailgated quite a bit. That stopped when he fitted an Mi16 into it. Many VAG pilots tried their luck and failed. He did get tailed by another 205 GTI once though, which also had an Mi16 under the bonnet. I don't know what this means. 

[Rusty_Rocket]

I get 'tailgated' a lot in my 106 van.  I simply wave them past while they enjoy* the chip-fat fumes from my 16 year old exhaust 

[Cavcraft]

It's great on single carriage roads, just slow down a bit and let everyone possible out of side roads in front of you.

[rml2345]

I used to get bullied/tailgated when driving the small Japanese hatchback and it was bloody annoying. Now I drive the world's most invisible Volvo saloon...

You can't win with these morons, it's best to either ignore them (which is difficult when they've nearly caused an accident) or slow down and enjoy the journey a bit more as Cav suggests. First person to get one of these cockwands to have a heart attack through indignant rage att slowly driven shite wins a fiver. 

[Junkman]

This was part of the rationale for buying the old Range Rover

 

Wiser words were seldom written. I miss our 3.9 EFI Rangey Classic ('Classic' is the fancy word for 'politically incorrect', did you know? And 'politically incorrect' is a synonym for 'common sense', I bet you didn't know that). Should the global fucking enslave-me-elite ever give me a relief, I'll buy another one.

[Bobthebeard]

I was today a victim* of a tailgating impatient driver on the M6. He or she almost caused an accident by their antics. Ok, they may be in a hurry to get where they need to be, fine. But is it really so urgent that it is worth almost causing an accident and hurting or killing, me my wife and dog?

[Junkman]

It seems like if you have anything less than a stupid fucking diesel BMW, Merc or Mondeo/Insignia then you're worth the square root of fuck all on the roads. I really fucking despair.

It really is getting this way atm. Impact is inevitable, I'm afraid.

Let's see what happens when I get the F-word wonderful waftbarge (Granada MKII 2.8i Ghia X) on what little is left of the fucking roads, which more and more look like they were imported from 1996 Albania, ffs. But that's a different story altogether, that increasingly pisses me off. Your tax £££ at work, NOT!

[vulgalour]

Tailgating is less of a problem for me these days, especially since having fixed the head gasket I now have a surprising amount of poke for a lumbering old car.  What is a problem instead is other drivers not reacting to my brake lights.  Regularly I'll be sat at a junction or a crossing and I'll watch the car approaching getting closer and closer, the driver paying more attention to I don't know what and then there's this look of surprise that there's a car in front of them and they stamp on their brakes harder than would have been needed had they been paying attention.

 

What I don't understand is how the Princess can be so invisible when parked, it's like when I stop the car just blends in to the surrounding scenery.  I'm trying to find some sort of not-shit high level brake light solution in the hope that making myself more visible with offensive lighting will help.  Don't really want the OAP fog lights on sticks approach in the back window, but I'm not sure what else I could use that would look any better.

[saucedoctor]

Some older cars will have a high level incandescent (ie, not LED) brake light in a kind of wee housing that would sit on the parcel shelf of your Princess, and not look too aftermarket.

 

Perhaps something like this could be modified?

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/FORD-KA-MK1-HIGH-LEVEL-REAR-BRAKE-LIGHT-BOOTLID-TAILGATE-BRAKE-LIGHT-1996-2002-/221352539514?pt=UK_CarsParts_Vehicles_CarParts_SM&hash=item3389a3b57a

 

Or go the whole hog like my oul mate Dermot did with his 6R4 brake lamps

[Cavcraft]

Tell you what does work quite a bit: driving slowly in front of said tailgaters, then dropping down a couple of cogs, accelerating as fast as possible and giving them a healthy* dose of veg oil fumes.

[sporty-shite]

Tell you what does work quite a bit: driving slowly in front of said tailgaters, then dropping down a couple of cogs, accelerating as fast as possible and giving them a healthy* dose of veg oil fumes.

 

I did this a couple of times in the 306, although for maximum diesel soot, I would leave it in a higher gear and let it bog down a bit. Hopefully, plenty of that stink went into their vents and annoyed their hypersensitive air conditioned lungs. Cunts.

[twosmoke300]

Did the 6R4 driver have problems with tailgaters then?   :-D  

[Negative Creep]

Playing devil's advocate, when you come across some doddering prat doing 40 in a 60 a little "reminder" can prove somewhat effective

[The Moog]

Fucking Ebay.  I have tried to list something on there. 4 phone calls and 4 web chats later it shows up. Apparently they need to put a security cookie on your computer which if you clear it means they want you to verify your account. Great, apart from each browser has to have one, each device has to have one. 

 

Then when your listing shows up and the helpdesk tell you to clear you cache, you know you will have to go it all again. And now it bounced back an email replying to a question because it wasnt sent from my registered address and so I will need to go online and change it. Although i need to do this in the one browser on the one computer that they know is me.

 

What a load of wank. They are making it much harder to sell stuff and if it doesnt work I am just going to bin it off.

[dollywobbler]

Playing devil's advocate, when you come across some doddering prat doing 40 in a 60 a little "reminder" can prove somewhat effective

 

Why should they have to drive faster? 60mph is the limit, not the target. 40mph at least makes them easier to overtake in whatever underpowered shite I happen to be in at the time. Tailgating is just bullying. If folk tailgate me, I often slow down. In theory, this is to make it easier for them to overtake. In reality, it seems to make their faces go purple. I'm also not averse to a heavy boot in a turbo diesel. The Disco can rival a Bond car smokescreen.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I spend all day in a big ugly black car with blacked out windows and nearly 600Nm of torque to put down tailgaters, no one has ever hassled me,ever. On the odd occasions I venture onto a motorway in an MX5 or daughters Arosa,every twat in a Transit/Audi/Range Rover thinks that they have to sit on the back bumper or cut me up, I probably drive better in the little'uns because I feel more vulnerable. What I don't understand is they can see me , no tints etc and I'm a miserable great ugly fecker, so it's not like they're assuming a girl / hairdresser/vegan driving- I'm still going to knock them the fuck out if they crash into me,if I survive.

[wuvvum]

RIP Trigger.

[Mr Livered]

RIP Trigger.

Eh??

[bub2006]

My grump is not car but bike shite related. Had a new tube in rear wheel after a puncture and new tube blew out at about 40mph. Took tube back to shop as it blew on the seam. Bloke behind counter was adamant it was my tyre levers that did it but replaced tube as good will. Yesterday which was about 3 days after fitting new tubetyre blew out. Long split on the seam again. Is it possible they have a faulty batch? Put even more of a dampener on the day as it was my grandads funeral

[wuvvum]

Eh??

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-25762006

[HillmanImp]

LOLZ, I had seen the news but can see the confusion.

[rml2345]

^ That's a bloody shame. 69 isn't especially old either.

Edited to add; I mean Trigger's death is a shame.

[Bobthebeard]

RIP Trigger.

This gave me quite a shock! Thought it was 'our Trigger'!

Thankfully not...

Still sad news though.

[Mr Livered]

Yes, me too. Thanks for posting the link, as it gave me a shock.

 

Funny thing, the internet: I've never met Trigger (the Autoshite Trigger, I mean) but I was really rather concerned for him.

 

Sad that the Only Fools Trigger is no longer with us, but chuffed that we've still got ours!

[Cavcraft]

Not our Trigger but the OFAH one.