The grumpy thread

[Timewaster]

Is there an abandoned 924 in the street?

[anonymous user]

Do you have a neighbour with a porch, or a neighbour called Porch, or P. Orch?

[fordperv]

My neighbors don't have porches either and no names close.

 

I wish there was an abandoned 924 I'd be on it like a £5 whore

[Rusty_Rocket]

Re the parcel delivery- there's a lady round here that does deliveries in her own car, I assume for one of the budget shitehawk delivery services.  I often see her motor crammed absolutely full of parcels, literally to the roof.

What annoys me most, is the fact that she'll dump said parcels on any poor unsuspecting individual who'll open their door to her.  I simply love being woken by that after a night shift, for a neighbour I don't know, ten doors down.

 

I suspect she may also have been the person who left a parcel for me, IN the bottom of our wheelie bin; I had to tip the whole thing up to get it- no note left either- I found it when I was putting the rubbish out!!!! 

[mercrocker]

Wait until they privatise the Royal Mail it will all be like this then......

[Richard]

A friend of mine did parcel deliveries for a while, he managed to get a suit through a letterbox once. He didn't do it for long.

[jakebullet]

I'm having hilarious* fun with hermes at the min.

 

Got a where is it? Monday night. Checked tracking and it's not moved since Saturday.

Oi hermes, where's mi parcel? They assure me it will be delivered by 8pm Tuesday.... time no doubt chosen that they'll have buggered off home.

 

Message this morning, still not arrived. Checked tracking, delivered to secure location Monday noon. Hmmm. Oi hermes, which wheelie bin did you put it in? Oh it's not been delivered, we just put that on the tracking for a laugh. It's in our depot, honest. How about delivering it then? We'll think about it...

 

Saga continues tomorrow.

 

TL:DR Hermes are shit.

[jakebullet]

Oh, and a top tip of the day: If you're wearing gloves to avoid super gluing your fingers together, and your eye starts itching, there's something you should do before you itch it.

 

Fortunately the fumes made my eye run like a bastard and I stopped half an inch away from disaster.

[Pillock]

I used to do deliveries for Next amongst others. It was an arseache if you had to carry parcels over because nobody in, I can see why they dump them up trees and under patios.

[Timewaster]

Right round the back of our house is a plastic dustbin used to store kindling.

I happened to find some old bits of wood in the garage the other week.

I thought I'd sling then in the kindling bin. Inside was a parcel that had been there since April!

 

As it happens, the Mrs had already complained that it hadn't arrived and received a refund.

[maxpower]

Windows 10............ what an utter bag of shite!!!

[jakebullet]

Not any more he isn't

 

http://youtu.be/9UCoul5SRzA

[bub2006]

He's got to be in a better place than here jake.

[cort16]

Cheers Arfur

 

[Aston Martin]

On a health and safety course.

 

You see a bare electrical cable, do you...

 

A) Lick it

B Touch it

C) Push the nearest person you see on to it

D) Tell the nearest safety officer

 

 

To be honest, if it happened this second, I'd be tempted to lick it to escape this place.

 

*Test may have been made up, but its not far off.

[beko1987]

Cheers Arfur

 

I've literally just found this out. Fucking gutted, will have to crack the box set out again tonight!

[Taff]

I've literally just found this out. Fucking gutted, will have to crack the box set out again tonight!

 

They are on a loop on ITV4 mate.

[Asimo]

Lad at work, not the sharpest knife in the box, has been using my ears to think his "car problems" through. This has been going on for weeks and is basically "is it worth £1000 to get my car fixed?" (immaculate 10 year old 530d with a rattling DMF)

 

And now he has ignored all of my helpful advice and encouragement and got himself into some PCP deal that will cost him his present car plus £4000 a year for three years in a miserable 1 series BMW.

[beko1987]

They are on a loop on ITV4 mate.

Yea but ive got to either watch the ads, or record it and fast forward. Or crack the dvds out and hit play all!

[Richard]

That's nearly five days!

[chaseracer]

^ 

 

"Five days?  That's proppa respect.  It's wot Arfur woulda wanted."

 

; Winchester Club>

 

 

[scaryoldcortina]

 

 

[Ghosty]

Fucking VAGCOM.

 

There's no decent freeware (VCDSLite is laggy, confusing etc), and whenever someone asks for a free version/alternative on the internet,  they get shot down by Ross-Tech employees or snobby VAG forum admins going 'buy the £££ full version, it's illegal to crack VAGCOM whinge whinge'.

 

I just want to clear the A4's service indicator/fault codes...

[MarvinsMom]

Fucking VAGCOM.

 

There's no decent freeware (VCDSLite is laggy, confusing etc), and whenever someone asks for a free version/alternative on the internet,  they get shot down by Ross-Tech employees or snobby VAG forum admins going 'buy the £££ full version, it's illegal to crack VAGCOM whinge whinge'.

 

I just want to clear the A4's service indicator/fault codes...

 

real live fire started using a match/petrol interface are guaranteed to clear all VAGshite codes, PHACTT!

[seth]

Had to drive through town today - on tube strike day. Obviously that's not my grump as the traffic was much like normal really, at the times and routes I took if not even quieter in places that I'd expected.  Trouble was I had to make the journey to attend the funeral of a really good mate (who I'd met via the blue car forum) on what would have been his 45th birthday.

[skattrd]

Ghosty - can't you use a generic code reader to clear/reset/read codes on your Audi? The stock whatever it is at my local garage works for reading/clearing faults on my boring and it's nowt fancy.

[fordperv]

I've just been speaking to a mate and hes crashed his sierra hatch

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Time for my weekly whinge about my BMW.

Just got back from a 400 mile round trip to pick up a secondhand head and cams that I thought the eBay seller had sent straight to the garage that's fixing the car. I clicked b.i.n. and paid by PayPal on Saturday and like a fool trusted the seller to do what he said he would and assumed because nobody called me to say it hadn't arrived,all was going to plan.

At 2pm today I popped into garage to see if if it would be ready tomorrow, to be told the head hadn't arrived,called seller to be told courier problems,maybe tomorrow.

The person I'm most pissed off with is.... ME!

I sometimes forget most people in the motor trade are cunts and all people on eBay are definitely cunts,so I'm the biggest cunt for not constantly been on these fucking lying retards case every 5 minutes.

On the pluss side I got some lovely fish and chips in Caerphilly and they were 25% cheaper than at home,almost makes up for the£6.50 entrance fee for Wales.

[Ghosty]

Ghosty - can't you use a generic code reader to clear/reset/read codes on your Audi? The stock whatever it is at my local garage works for reading/clearing faults on my boring and it's nowt fancy.

Nope - we have one. Doesn't work.

[Lord Sterling]

Cheers Arfur

 

I'll be busting out the old Arfur Daley camel coat for the next Cannock meet I reckon (if it ain't too warm)