The grumpy thread

[Tetleysmooth]

  On 15/06/2015 at 18:50, Station said:

On the A5 last year, we saw a cat squirming in the headlights before I went over it. It bounced around under my car for five long seconds before it went cart wheeling behind the car. The car in front had hit it and it was having a fit or was in the death throes. Experience had me aim within a split second for the middle of the car. I tried convincing my mate it got up after and just ran off into a bush, but it was obvious it was very dead after that.

I can't stand cats, I think they're awful creatures, but I'll never forget the soft thumping noise of that poor cat doing the electric boogaloo beneath my car. Fortunately it was in my Volvo, anything else and the ride height would've completely annihilated it.

 

When I was younger a bloke down the road had a yellow Commer van. He ran over a dog and I remember it dancing round for a few seconds underneath before shooting out completely unscathed!

 

+1 for cat hatred.

Useless bastard things.

Have you ever seen a guide cat for the blind? No.

Have you ever seen a sniffer cat for drugs or explosives? No.

If you were stuck in a snowdrift, would one appear with a barrel of Brandy round its neck? No, of course not.

If I find them in my garden, a .177 or .22 air pellet up the arse usually makes them see the error of their ways.

[vulgalour]

I was going to defend cats, then I remember owning cats and apart from occasional cuteness cats are utter, utter bastards.

[Tetleysmooth]

  On 16/06/2015 at 11:15, Tetleysmooth said:

+1 for cat hatred.

Useless bastard things.

Have you ever seen a guide cat for the blind? No.

Have you ever seen a sniffer cat for drugs or explosives? No.

If you were stuck in a snowdrift, would one appear with a barrel of Brandy round its neck? No, of course not.

If I find them in my garden, a .177 or .22 air pellet up the arse usually makes them see the error of their ways.

 

I've just had a thought.

Cats have got a use!!

They make a nice chow mein at our local chinky.

If I get a cat, I'm going to name it Soy.

[Slappy]

+3 on Mother Madness to such an extent that I barely spoke to mine for about 9 months when I was at uni due to the irrational decisions she was making. Not ludicrus ones admittedly, but trying to pull the rug from under my feet when I was approaching the end of uni, rather unwell and not knowing at that point where I was going to live and on what by wanting to downsize significantly did not go down well!

[EssDeeWon]

For once I have a proper grump.

 

I am being made redundant.

 

Got until the end of September. Find out tomorrow how much/little I will be paid.

[cort1977]

  On 16/06/2015 at 12:18, EssDeeWon said:

For once I have a proper grump.

 

I am being made redundant.

 

Sorry to hear that, hope you get a decent payout.

 

Regarding mums i think they are mostly mental but they always think what they are doing is for the best.   My mum's best time was when she kept hiding my student loan applications as she didn't want me to get in to debt.   All very well meaning but i needed to eat.

[Lacquer Peel]

I bought a Xsara 1.9 diesel to tide me over and give me some breathing space to fix the Volvo. The previous owner replaced the brake pads and said it needed new discs, supplied. I went to replace the discs today and he put one of the brake pads the wrong way around with the back plate on the disc, WTF?! No wonder it was grinding like fuck.

[Tetleysmooth]

  On 16/06/2015 at 15:51, Lacquer Peel said:

I bought a Xsara 1.9 diesel to tide me over and give me some breathing space to fix the Volvo. The previous owner replaced the brake pads and said it needed new discs, supplied. I went to replace the discs today and he put one of the brake pads the wrong way around with the back plate on the disc, WTF?! No wonder it was grinding like fuck.

 

You are not alone.....

[xtriple]

  On 16/06/2015 at 15:51, Lacquer Peel said:

I bought a Xsara 1.9 diesel to tide me over and give me some breathing space to fix the Volvo. The previous owner replaced the brake pads and said it needed new discs, supplied. I went to replace the discs today and he put one of the brake pads the wrong way around with the back plate on the disc, WTF?! No wonder it was grinding like fuck.

I have done that! I am utterly ashamed to admit it, but I have! In my defence, I wasn't paying attention and was far too busy chatting to note what I'd done. I have also, changed discs and pads all round and left a pair of pads out completely! Again, talking, not paying attention, thinking about anything other than the boring talk in hand... I am a knob

[Pillock]

 

 

  On 16/06/2015 at 11:15, Tetleysmooth said:

If I find them in my garden, a .177 or .22 air pellet up the arse usually makes them see the error of their ways.

My cat may be a bastard, but if anyone feels it acceptable to shoot him I will probably end up being spoken to in a police interview room.

[anonymous user]

I always used to worry about working on braking systems on my cars, thinking I might do something stupid/dangerous like forget a vital component.

 

That was until a colleague picked up her car that had just had new pads fitted, drove down the road to the junction and found they hadn't pumped the pads out. She panicked (I'd like to think that I would have at least pumped the pedal if I found I had no brakes) and sailed across the junction. Fortunately she did not go through the railings and drop down into the dock below as a conveniently passing bus arrested her travel.

 

I then realised that garages are equally as likely to mess it up as me, so stopped worrying about it. I rarely work on brakes now, but that's just because I'm lazy and would rather get somebody else to do it. (I do always pump the brakes though before driving off to make sure that they are working)

[twosmoke300]

Piss poor that a garage wouldn't road test after fitting pads .

[twosmoke300]

Ahh , just noticed the her in your writings . Prob didn't have enough petrol / oil / tyre tread to allow a road test .

[anonymous user]

Probably just a busy/lazy garage where everyone thought somebody else had done it, I worked in one years ago where someone forgot to put the oil in after a service.

[messerschmitt owner]

  On 16/06/2015 at 16:41, Pillock said:

My cat may be a bastard, but if anyone feels it acceptable to shoot him I will probably end up being spoken to in a police interview room.

one of my cats was killed last night, run over by some git!

 

So less of the air pellet comments! Because I too would be the one in a cell if I found someone did that to my cat!

[Bren]

  On 16/06/2015 at 18:12, messerschmitt owner said:

one of my cats was killed last night, run over by some git!

 

So less of the air pellet comments! Because I too would be the one in a cell if I found someone did that to my cat!

I am so sorry - there are some utterly worthless people in the world.

[dugong]

Chris Evans is going to be the new face of Top Gear.

[cobblers]

  On 16/06/2015 at 11:04, vulgalour said:

Was going to be playing with old cars today.  Instead I'm babysitting Blake-dog who thinks he's a horse** which is no fun for either of us.

 

 

 

 

 

**got the trots.

 

Snap. Got home from work to find a kitchen and two dogs covered in shit. Eddie had pissed out his arse all over the place, then they had both walked in it and treaded it all over the floor and their beds. Then laid in the beds.

 

Really glad I've just trained them both not to jump up at me when I come through the door now and that we have lino on the floor not carpet.

[twosmoke300]

Who was it that made that post about how cats were so rubbish and dogs were awesome again ?

😄

[hairnet]

  On 16/06/2015 at 18:45, dugong said:

Chris Evans is going to be the new face of Top Gear.

seeing as his radio show dropped a load of listeners the car show (not top gear anymore is it)

 

this will do the same and (shudder) who will be helping

[fordperv]

I am not a cat person but I couldn't hurt one or see one get hurt maliciously, i got angry and wanted to perform riverdance on the neighbour to the rears head when I got told he had been chucking bricks at my neighbour to the sides cat, while it was sat on my fence, which just happens to be a few feet away from his pigeon loft, the dirty bastard things attracted rats last year, so I'm sure the cat is lying in wait for rats/mice as it doesn't bother with the wild birds that live in my garden.

[anonymous user]

  On 16/06/2015 at 19:22, twosmoke300 said:

Who was it that made that post about how cats were so rubbish and dogs were awesome again ?

 

Having had both cat and dogs at the same time, I can advise that cats are sneakier, mine would sometimes throw up in my slipper (not nice when you get out of bed and put your foot in it). The dogs would tend to hide the cat's sneakiness by eating any cat vomit if they got to it before I found it.

 

The evil* cat we had when I was young used to delight in leaving offerings (mice, shrews, rats, birds, rabbits, or just parts of them) in random places, like the doormat in the dimly lit porch, or just under the coverlet on the bed.

 

She wasn't really evil, but a strange mix of Siamese cat and black and white farm cat, she had the shape and horrible yowl of the Siamese but was dressed up in a tuxedo. Loved to sit on people to be stroked, but would turn around and bite them when she had had enough.

[MarvinsMom]

pigeons are filthy creatures.

 

and as for the cat leaving you little gifts (half eaten birds and the like) well that is the cat been "nice", or what the cat thinks is been nice anyway.

 

cats are at times very devious animals. with thomas you can literally see the cogs turning sometimes. last weekend we cooked a fresh chicken, the cat sat on the window sill watching "pretending" that he wasn't interested in said bird inspite of the fact that his nose was twitching like mad. if he could of worked out how to get across the kitchen without getting busted, he would have done...

 

we've always had a cat, both at home growing up, and then when i bought the first house.

 

the cat we had growing up was an excellent mouser. a house the other side of the road used to keep chickens, and we always knew that if the cat didn't come home, then the house over the road must have mice again, as that where he was.

 

3 days i believe was the longest he stayed away from home for. and yes, he had been loitering over the road. i have to applaud the animals persistence....

[twosmoke300]

Our cat once left a live toad in my work boot . Guess how I found out !

[MarvinsMom]

see, i told you the cat was been nice, by making sure that you had a packed lunch to take away with you.

[beko1987]

 

Kruejoes magnificent vegetable juice ran out on me today (may have got to work and back tomorrow but dont like running the risk as the needle is a bouncy bastard)

 

Brimmed with derv as i r skint so overdraft brim time for me and the meriva which we took just now.

[dave21478]

Cheap Chinese made crap strikes again.

 

Since I have the mental age of a 15 year old, I have an ICE install in the Escort. No, not some mega-power thing, just a 4 channel amp driving the front speakers and a wee subwoofer. Anyway, its been acting weird the last few days so I investigated this afternoon and decided the take the amp out to test it on the bench. Better remove the fuse first for safety yeah? so I pulled the inline fuse out. Since its not a huge power system, its just an inline blade fuse kit that looks like this....

 

 

I unscrewed the wiring and was removing the amp when the positive feed touched something with a massive pop and shower of sparks....huh?

turns out the fucking fuse holder still allows power through even with the fuse removed!

It was just a smoking blob by the time I got the wires apart. I cut it open and turns out that the two spades that hold the blade fuse are touching inside the plastic moulding.

 

Could have been nasty.

[tooSavvy]

  On 16/06/2015 at 13:56, cort1977 said:

My mum's best time was when she kept hiding my student loan applications as she didn't want me to get in to debt.   All very well meaning but i needed to eat.

Was the myth of 'student debt' (viz OAPs eating out of the bins, in Greece, sort of REAL cash strapped existence) played out at the time of the previous election?

 

TS

[Lacquer Peel]

  On 16/06/2015 at 20:14, beko1987 said:

IMAG0981.jpg

 

Kruejoes magnificent vegetable juice ran out on me today (may have got to work and back tomorrow but dont like running the risk as the needle is a bouncy bastard)

 

Brimmed with derv as i r skint so overdraft brim time for me and the meriva which we took just now.

 

Tesco 5 lt sunflower and vegetable oil is available for 80p a litre just now.

[gm]

got a letter from the dvla today - you are no longer the registered keeper of....etc - aye, thanks for letting me know but where's my £68 direct debit that you took AFTER I sold the car ? gah !