The grumpy thread

[HillmanImp]

Have you tried the cure-all of Doctor Heat?

 

 

^^^ I love how this is a shutterstock image!

 

My torch had no gas in it. I was rampaging in the garage looking for that gas canister I knew I had, when I suddenly remembered where I thought it was. I rang up Volksy and its in Sheffield, in the glove compartment of the Shaguar. It was on my list of things to do but wifey was oot so I just put it back together and sacked it off.

[vulgalour]

Whoever decided to hide the ugly repairs on the Lancia with filler.  So much filler.  *cries*

[AlabamaShrimp]

Whoop Whoop? Does it think it's the QE2?

No its an ungrateful shit that eats tyres

[jakebullet]

My sister is so dense I can't believe a black hole doesn't form around her.

 

Before she was dumped by previous man for being a psycho bitch she bought 2 tickets to foo fighters. She now wants rid as she doesn't even remotely like them. But she's not putting them on stubhub "because they charge to sell and they cost me over £100".

 

So how are you going to sell them?

"I've put them on my facebook page"

That's going to work really well given your friends are also in Barnsley and you have tickets for Sunderland.

"They cost me over £100"

 

So given the choice of getting back whatever she can on stubhub, or leaving them on a shelf because they cost over £100, she's going for shelf. Maybe she's adopted.

[Louise2cv]

Sciatica-ah-ah-ah-ouch!!! Or piriformis syndrome or some other kind bum stabby leg numby knee achey thing.

 

OW.

[M'coli]

My torch had no gas in it. I was rampaging in the garage looking for that gas canister I knew I had, when I suddenly remembered where I thought it was. I rang up Volksy and its in Sheffield, in the glove compartment of the Shaguar. It was on my list of things to do but wifey was oot so I just put it back together and sacked it off.

If it's screw-on, most are of a certain size.  I've used camping gas canisters on the blowtorch and vice-versa in the past.  I've also used meths and the like in a cut-down food can to provide heat when needed.

[plasticvandan]

I ended up pulling the ads for my polo (will prob stick on eBay shortly) as all I got was bloody texts,not even an email. Always the same. Text 1: is the polo still for sale mate. Text 2: what's the lowest you will take for it. Umm,clues in the fucking advert!

[robinmasters]

Changed my rear number plate today. Volvo have thoughtfully fitted captive nuts in the boot lid, for mounting the plate. Had they been used? Predictably, no. Dirty great big patches of rust where the self-tappers had been lazily poked in. Bastards.

[hairnet]

Went to wales for a nimble

 

This is as far as I got

 

Didn't make it inside......

[Cavcraft]

The cocky wanker driving a coach through Chester this morning. You'll have a crash one day driving like that, you silly little twat.

[jakebullet]

Arse biscuits. Just had a look round the disco as 1 month of mot left, and the chassis is fucked at the back. Not mega fucked, two 6 inch plates will fix it, but prolly be a ball ache dropping the tank to do it.

 

Think I'm officially going to claim old man status and let friendly* mechanic do it.

[Chas4545]

DVLA. Balls balls balls

 

Sent a V5 of sold vehicule recorded delivery (not traceable when lost and only deemed lost after 375 thousand years) instead of  special delivery (traceable every step of the way and found instantly when even three minutes late.)

 

Its lost.

 

I will now get fined for every concievable motoring offence possible  that will now be committed by the new owner. Every friggin time. Without fail. I keep forgetting that "signed for" means nothing at DVLA. Balls balls balls. and more balls.

 

Still, at least the DVLA will be a bit better off cos they sure are not refunding my tax. Got to look on the bright side.    Bar Stewards.

[panhard65]

DVLA. Balls balls balls

 

Sent a V5 of sold vehicule recorded delivery (not traceable when lost and only deemed lost after 375 thousand years) instead of  special delivery (traceable every step of the way and found instantly when even three minutes late.)

 

Its lost.

 

I will now get fined for every concievable motoring offence possible  that will now be committed by the new owner. Every friggin time. Without fail. I keep forgetting that "signed for" means nothing at DVLA. Balls balls balls. and more balls.

 

Still, at least the DVLA will be a bit better off cos they sure are not refunding my tax. Got to look on the bright side.    Bar Stewards.

On the positive side you do have proof of posting it and when, so if they try to fine you just take it to court and produce the recipt then ask for £££££ expenses.

[MrDuke]

^ This, your liability ends when you put it in the red box, as long as you keep your proof of posting. I'm sure Nigel Bickle will elaborate on claiming back any court-related expenses.

[richardmorris]

Idiot this morning on the a319 to Cirencester. Belting up the slip road, so I indicate and move over to the outer lane. He pulls on and accelerates to match my speed. No more, no less. I was in the 2 cv and doing 70, so couldn't accelerate and there was the usual Audi trying to park in the boot. Why do people do this?

[hairnet]

you didnt need to move over - they have to wait for you

 

people try and do it to wagons

 

they fail

[Jazoli]

Idiot this morning on the a319 to Cirencester. Belting up the slip road, so I indicate and move over to the outer lane. He pulls on and accelerates to match my speed. No more, no less. I was in the 2 cv and doing 70, so couldn't accelerate and there was the usual Audi trying to park in the boot. Why do people do this?

I get this all the time in my work van which is limited, does my head in

[messerschmitt owner]

Tyre expense continues!

 

After two flats in the Merc and a knackered alloy, plus two new tyres in the 126, the Dispatch decided to lose a chunk  of tread off one of its rears on the M4 on Friday - then one of the wheels of the sack truck gives up the ghost too - Machine mart, try spending a teeny bit more on your tyres for your trolleys as they are fucking shit! Just as well I have learned and always carry a spare!

 

Fitted the new alloys I picked up on Saturday though and they look brilliant! I have three on but have to take the fourth (the one with the slow puncture) down to the tyre place to get the nail removed, and puncture repaired (or maybe just get the brand new tyre they have fitted to it). Mercedes, why do you have the same design (fitted as standard to run out models) in 8J on the saloon but 7.5J on the estate?

 

With luck tomorrow will be the end of tyre woes for a while.

 

Good news, though, the garage reseated the steel wheel's tyre and it is holding air again!

[jakebullet]

The duo won best entertainment show and best entertainment performance for their ITV show Saturday Night Takeaway.

 

Ant & Dec. ANT AND FUCKING DEC ARE ENTERTAINMENT? IN WHICH UNIVERSE?

[wuvvum]

I was driving up the A1 yesterday in the Mondeo and spotted an interesting cloud formation.  So I pulled out my phone and took a pic.  Just downloaded the pics from the phone, and the camera has focused on the fucking heated windscreen elements and completely missed the cloud.  How does it miss a cumulus a mile wide to focus on something the width of a hair?  Useless poxy thing.

[320touring]

The cocky wanker driving a coach through Chester this morning. You'll have a crash one day driving like that, you silly little twat.

Cms206 down to get a punto?

[fred]

The duo won best entertainment show and best entertainment performance for their ITV show Saturday Night Takeaway.

 

Ant & Dec. ANT AND FUCKING DEC ARE ENTERTAINMENT? IN WHICH UNIVERSE?

ITV Universe - where folk openly cry when told they cant sing/dance/ spin on a fucking uni cycle whilst fingering a parrot ...And need life long counseling afterwards - Fucktards

[Tayne]

I was driving up the A1 yesterday in the Mondeo and spotted an interesting cloud formation.  So I pulled out my phone and took a pic.  Just downloaded the pics from the phone, and the camera has focused on the fucking heated windscreen elements and completely missed the cloud.  How does it miss a cumulus a mile wide to focus on something the width of a hair?  Useless poxy thing.

Because a camera lens (especially one in a phone) is nowhere near as soficsticated as the human eye so will focus on a light/dark contrast wo feet away rather than a mile wide cumulus,with a similar tonal range to the sky, which is 2-5miles distant.

 

Next time, try pulling over and getting out of the car.

Or even checking the picture at the time.

 

Useless poxy human.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Ooooohhhhh!!!

[fred]

Ohhhhh ! +1

[trigger]

[cort16]

I very rarely take a sick day from work but I've got some weird lurgie that makes me feel like my head is 1000ft down at the bottom of the sea while rest of my body is a sea level being beaten by an octopus with baseball bats. never mind the coughing, snotty nose and the weird sweating that makes me look like I've been caught in a hurricane . There's no way I could be if any use so I'm staying here.

 

Also there was a Honda smx I'd been watching on eBay that sold last night for a bargain price but I bottled it. I blame the lemsip

[Jazoli]

I very rarely take a sick day from work but I've got some weird lurgie that makes me feel like my head is 1000ft down at the bottom of the sea while rest of my body is a sea level being beaten by an octopus with baseball bats. never mind the coughing, snotty nose and the weird sweating that makes me look like I've been caught in a hurricane . There's no way I could be if any use so I'm staying here.

 

Also there was a Honda smx I'd been watching on eBay that sold last night for a bargain price but I bottled it. I blame the lemsip

Theres an SMX for sale on one of the local Facebook groups the wife uses, I can have a look when I get home, think it was cheap too, it'd probably mean another trip into the wilds of Cumbria for you!

[vulgalour]

Someone cut me up on a roundabout, the red mist descended and I was a twat.  I seem to be on a very short fuse lately, I'm bored of my own company.

[AlabamaShrimp]

I very rarely take a sick day from work but I've got some weird lurgie that makes me feel like my head is 1000ft down at the bottom of the sea while rest of my body is a sea level being beaten by an octopus with baseball bats. never mind the coughing, snotty nose and the weird sweating that makes me look like I've been caught in a hurricane . There's no way I could be if any use so I'm staying here.

 

Also there was a Honda smx I'd been watching on eBay that sold last night for a bargain price but I bottled it. I blame the lemsip

I've got this too. Eyes hurt and I just want to sleep so ive not gone I to college spoiling my 100% attendance have to go for an unrelated ultra sound too, which will be fun....