The grumpy thread

[cobblers]

12 minutes ago, Mr Livered said:

Well if you're a grown-up, you want to buy something, and your partner has been given the chance to object but not taken it, I can't see the problem. But every relationship is different, you do you.

I wish it was that simple but it never is really,

She's OK with, but not enthusiastic about me getting another van so I have to tread carefully. It's a lot of money, there's man maths involved and she's nervous that I'll disappear for 4 months like I did when I built my last camper, despite my reassurance that this will be a few weeks work because I'm just going to buy a kit. She's quite accommodating of my continual churn of various projects and I'd like to think that me being tactful (where I can, within reason) has some bearing on this.

"Yeah no problem" was the answer I was looking for and she knows that. "Do whatever you want" was more of an accusation than an answer to my question 😅

[Sheefag]

On 23/03/2026 at 11:18, Bren said:

The one he has seen has over 200k but has been in the same family nearly all of it's life. It's also had the belts done.

I don't want him to buy it and realise he's made a mistake - and then he can only sell it for buttons.

Nobody likes a bent eight more than me but the way the world is now I don't think I could stomach the fuel and tax for something like this as a daily.

 

See if you can wedge him into this.
Call it LS400 Apprenticeship or something.

 

[High Jetter]

31 minutes ago, cobblers said:

I wish it was that simple but it never is really,

She's OK with, but not enthusiastic about me getting another van so I have to tread carefully. It's a lot of money, there's man maths involved and she's nervous that I'll disappear for 4 months like I did when I built my last camper, despite my reassurance that this will be a few weeks work because I'm just going to buy a kit. She's quite accommodating of my continual churn of various projects and I'd like to think that me being tactful (where I can, within reason) has some bearing on this.

"Yeah no problem" was the answer I was looking for and she knows that. "Do whatever you want" was more of an accusation than an answer to my question 😅

It does sound as if even had you left straight away it would have been sold before you got down to Pompey, unless I've got the timeline wrong?

[artdjones]

It will always be the fabled perfect item that got away.

[cobblers]

1 hour ago, High Jetter said:

It does sound as if even had you left straight away it would have been sold before you got down to Pompey, unless I've got the timeline wrong?

Bloke was happy to hold on to it while I got there (for some reason!) 

[BorniteIdentity]

3 hours ago, cobblers said:

I've been after a decent MWB Crafter 4x4 for a few months, they're not a common van and rare in the spec I need. I have a few saved searches on ebay / autotrader etc,

Finally, this morning the absolute perfect one popped up this morning. Right colour, 20k miles, one owner, right seats, fsh., and best of all it was about ten grand underpriced!!!!

I rang the seller - He'd only posted the advert 5 minutes ago, surprised to have someone call so soon. Seemed a decent bloke, had a good story etc. Only downside was the van is in portsmouth, a 4 hour drive.  I said I would most likely come straight down, just needed to let my wife know because she would have to look after the dogs.

So I sent her a message "Any objections if I nip down to portsmouth to look at a van?"

No reply. 

after 10 minutes I texted her "I need to let the guy know ASAP really, is it OK? can you keep an eye on the dogs?"

10 minutes later I get the dreaded: "Do whatever you want"  🙄

So obviously I had to let the seller know I was "just sorting something out" while I worked out what her problem was all of a sudden.

Anyway, I spoke to her shortly after and she apologised for being a grumpy arse and told me to go and buy the van. Which had obviously sold by this point.

 

Can fully sympathise on this one. Both of you will probably feel awful for a few days now. Then somecunt will come along and tell you “what’s meant to be will be” and I give you full consent to kick his fucking brains out. 

Sorry dude. I’d love to say stuff like this is easier when you’re divorced but the reality is you just agonise over stuff internally and stuff still passes you by. 

If one pops up my way I’ll gladly play custodian for you until your ducks (and dogs) are in a row. 

[Spiny Norman]

I have lost my favourite screwdriver.
I had it just the other day and now I can't find it, even after looking for far longer than was really worthwhile for something I can pick up at work tomorrow for a couple of quid, but it's the principle of the thing. 

We know what's going to happen here, don't we?

[chadders]

2 hours ago, cobblers said:

I wish it was that simple but it never is really,

She's OK with, but not enthusiastic about me getting another van so I have to tread carefully. It's a lot of money, there's man maths involved and she's nervous that I'll disappear for 4 months like I did when I built my last camper, despite my reassurance that this will be a few weeks work because I'm just going to buy a kit. She's quite accommodating of my continual churn of various projects and I'd like to think that me being tactful (where I can, within reason) has some bearing on this.

"Yeah no problem" was the answer I was looking for and she knows that. "Do whatever you want" was more of an accusation than an answer to my question 😅

"Do whatever you want" to me means a very strong no unless you want a world of pain. Anyway, that's my experience after being married for 35+ years.

[Zelandeth]

Apparently I can add high blood pressure that's about 1% away from full hypertensive crisis to my list of maladies.  Yay!

Blood pressure has always been a little on the high side since the dawn of time, but today's measurements are a bit silly.

I guess it might actually be something that gets my GP to actually take me seriously... though given that I still need to actually contact them in the first instance which is the nigh on impossible part.

[High Jetter]

4 hours ago, Spiny Norman said:

I have lost my favourite screwdriver.
I had it just the other day and now I can't find it, even after looking for far longer than was really worthwhile for something I can pick up at work tomorrow for a couple of quid, but it's the principle of the thing. 

We know what's going to happen here, don't we?

Yup. The only way to find it is buy another. (Which will never be as good)

[Pieman]

If someone tells me to "do whatever the fuck you want" I do whatever the fuck I want, and if said person doesn't like it, they can fuck off.

[New POD]

6 hours ago, cobblers said:

I wish it was that simple but it never is really,

She's OK with, but not enthusiastic about me getting another van so I have to tread carefully. It's a lot of money, there's man maths involved and she's nervous that I'll disappear for 4 months like I did when I built my last camper, despite my reassurance that this will be a few weeks work because I'm just going to buy a kit. She's quite accommodating of my continual churn of various projects and I'd like to think that me being tactful (where I can, within reason) has some bearing on this.

"Yeah no problem" was the answer I was looking for and she knows that. "Do whatever you want" was more of an accusation than an answer to my question 😅

I think the conversation needs to be along  lines of.  "Are you happy with me spending £x on a van? Yes or No" 

If No: "what are your reasons?"

If Yes: "This is the spec, I'm looking for. Are you okay with that spec?"

If Yes: "Okay, well, as soon as I see one advertised, I will drop everything and immediately go and buy it, if it meets that spec and that budget. I won't need to discuss it because you are happy with the plan as it stands" 

Obviously if it's a no, you need to find out why and get her to understand that it's not her decision to make but you want her to respect your decision. 

 

I say this like the snivelling hypocrite I am obviously.  

 

[Wibble]

14 minutes ago, Pieman said:

If someone tells me to "do whatever the fuck you want" I do whatever the fuck I want, and if said person doesn't like it, they can fuck off.

I think he wants to stay married.

[Wibble]

3 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Apparently I can add high blood pressure that's about 1% away from full hypertensive crisis to my list of maladies.  Yay!

Blood pressure has always been a little on the high side since the dawn of time, but today's measurements are a bit silly.

I guess it might actually be something that gets my GP to actually take me seriously... though given that I still need to actually contact them in the first instance which is the nigh on impossible part.

I was told I had hypertension last August. Total surprise as I felt fine and I’m a skinny sod. Stress of unemployment probably a significant factor but I’m now on meds for it. They do take it seriously, GP called me back to the surgery with no appointment when she saw my readings. I hope you get seen asap.

[Zelandeth]

1 minute ago, Wibble said:

I was told I had hypertension last August. Total surprise as I felt fine and I’m a skinny sod. Stress of unemployment probably a significant factor but I’m now on meds for it. They do take it seriously, GP called me back to the surgery with no appointment when she saw my readings. I hope you get seen asap.

The problem is making initial contact.  It all has to be done through a web portal.  They only take a set number of enquiries every day and they open at 0800 and have run out by 0801.  There is no option to ask in person or phone.  The website is it.  I could schedule an appointment - but waiting 8 weeks for an appointment (that will probably get cancelled anyway, sending me back to the end of the queue) seems I'll advised for something like this.  

I will give AXA a ring on Monday as well, see if that's something I can get them to see me about without a bloody referral that I need for the other issues.

[Pieman]

19 minutes ago, Wibble said:

I think he wants to stay married.

I learned some time ago that most people would rather fake their own death than get that close to me, so there's fuck all chance of me being in that situation.

[Wibble]

6 minutes ago, Zelandeth said:

The problem is making initial contact.  It all has to be done through a web portal.  They only take a set number of enquiries every day and they open at 0800 and have run out by 0801.  There is no option to ask in person or phone.  The website is it.  I could schedule an appointment - but waiting 8 weeks for an appointment (that will probably get cancelled anyway, sending me back to the end of the queue) seems I'll advised for something like this.  

I will give AXA a ring on Monday as well, see if that's something I can get them to see me about without a bloody referral that I need for the other issues.

That is shit. I had to complete an “E-consult” form on line about my inability to eat much. This got me a phone consultation and she asked me to use the BP machine in reception, as they had no records for me for 20 years. This is when I got called back. Where abouts are you? You can’t leave this, I know A&E is terrible but might get you some help more quickly.

[Zelandeth]

16 minutes ago, Wibble said:

That is shit. I had to complete an “E-consult” form on line about my inability to eat much. This got me a phone consultation and she asked me to use the BP machine in reception, as they had no records for me for 20 years. This is when I got called back. Where abouts are you? You can’t leave this, I know A&E is terrible but might get you some help more quickly.

Milton bloody Keynes.  Right in the middle, which is the biggest issue.  The CMK surgery had an utterly diabolical reputation 15 years ago and it's only got worse since.  Sadly as all the surrounding ones are also over capacity noone else will take us on.  They're at least three or four times over capacity (probably even more now to be fair as they've built a good few hundred more houses around here since then).  So they've just taken the approach of fastest finger first to limit the rush.  When you could get on the day appointments in person the queue at 0730 would always be the whole way around the outside of the surgery and into the car park.

MK Hospital has about as good a reputation.

I do have private cover, just been zero help so far with other issues as they need a referral from my GP - which I've been trying to get for something like four or five years now.  Basically I ask to book an appointment, wait eight to twelve weeks for the telephone appointment which they then cancel the day before (and still send me the angry "how DARE you miss an appointment?!?" letter, and I go back to the start of the line.

Our actual pharmacy (on other side of town as it took five years to find a good one!) are really good, and I need to pick up a prescription on Monday anyway so I might pick their brains and get them to do a test on their proper machine while I'm there.  They've saved our bacon a bunch of times managing to either get or find out who has my other Half's epilepsy meds which keep becoming difficult to source due to supply chain issues.  Would help if we could order them more than a week before running out, mind you... especially as it takes the surgery a minimum of three or four days to approve it and send it to the pharmacy...but that's a whole additional grump in itself.

[Wibble]

4 minutes ago, Zelandeth said:

Milton bloody Keynes.  Right in the middle, which is the biggest issue.  The CMK surgery had an utterly diabolical reputation 15 years ago and it's only got worse since.  Sadly as all the surrounding ones are also over capacity noone else will take us on.  They're at least three or four times over capacity (probably even more now to be fair as they've built a good few hundred more houses around here since then).  So they've just taken the approach of fastest finger first to limit the rush.  When you could get on the day appointments in person the queue at 0730 would always be the whole way around the outside of the surgery and into the car park.

MK Hospital has about as good a reputation.

I do have private cover, just been zero help so far with other issues as they need a referral from my GP - which I've been trying to get for something like four or five years now.  Basically I ask to book an appointment, wait eight to twelve weeks for the telephone appointment which they then cancel the day before (and still send me the angry "how DARE you miss an appointment?!?" letter, and I go back to the start of the line.

Our actual pharmacy (on other side of town as it took five years to find a good one!) are really good, and I need to pick up a prescription on Monday anyway so I might pick their brains and get them to do a test on their proper machine while I'm there.  They've saved our bacon a bunch of times managing to either get or find out who has my other Half's epilepsy meds which keep becoming difficult to source due to supply chain issues.  Would help if we could order them more than a week before running out, mind you... especially as it takes the surgery a minimum of three or four days to approve it and send it to the pharmacy...but that's a whole additional grump in itself.

That is absolutely ridiculous and sad to hear. I applied for a repeat prescription for my meds, we are told to do it two weeks in advance and it was ready to collect within 2 days.

Our chemist is also excellent and I hope yours helps in getting this sorted.

[myglaren]

8 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Milton bloody Keynes.  Right in the middle, which is the biggest issue.  The CMK surgery had an utterly diabolical reputation 15 years ago and it's only got worse since.  Sadly as all the surrounding ones are also over capacity noone else will take us on.  They're at least three or four times over capacity (probably even more now to be fair as they've built a good few hundred more houses around here since then).  So they've just taken the approach of fastest finger first to limit the rush.  When you could get on the day appointments in person the queue at 0730 would always be the whole way around the outside of the surgery and into the car park.

MK Hospital has about as good a reputation.

I do have private cover, just been zero help so far with other issues as they need a referral from my GP - which I've been trying to get for something like four or five years now.  Basically I ask to book an appointment, wait eight to twelve weeks for the telephone appointment which they then cancel the day before (and still send me the angry "how DARE you miss an appointment?!?" letter, and I go back to the start of the line.

Our actual pharmacy (on other side of town as it took five years to find a good one!) are really good, and I need to pick up a prescription on Monday anyway so I might pick their brains and get them to do a test on their proper machine while I'm there.  They've saved our bacon a bunch of times managing to either get or find out who has my other Half's epilepsy meds which keep becoming difficult to source due to supply chain issues.  Would help if we could order them more than a week before running out, mind you... especially as it takes the surgery a minimum of three or four days to approve it and send it to the pharmacy...but that's a whole additional grump in itself.

The BP monitors are easily available and cheap now, Argos, Amazon and many others, around £25.  I have one here that I apparently bought for my daughter a few years ago but have no recollection of it.

[chadders]

9 minutes ago, myglaren said:

The BP monitors are easily available and cheap now, Argos, Amazon and many others, around £25.  I have one here that I apparently bought for my daughter a few years ago but have no recollection of it.

I've been using them for many years, in fact I record my own BPs at home as I have 'White Coat' syndrome, and my GP is happy with me just sending them the results. I have just had an ECG though as during my recent annual check up the nurse said that she'd never seen such a high pulse reading. If she'd looked like Stefanie Powers I'd have understood it but she certainly didn't and she also managed to achieve some pretty impressive bruising whilst taking my blood sample.

[myglaren]

I record them for a week in a spreadsheet then transfer to a paper form.  It is supposed to be possible to send them to the surgery but the email address came up as invalid.

I would just print them but I'm too stingy to buy a new printer to replace the one that packed up a couple of years ago.

A strange thing was that just after opening the spreadsheet for this years results I was flooded with YouTube videos showing how to use the machines.

[Dan29]

8 minutes ago, myglaren said:

I record them for a week in a spreadsheet then transfer to a paper form.  It is supposed to be possible to send them to the surgery but the email address came up as invalid.

I would just print them but I'm too stingy to buy a new printer to replace the one that packed up a couple of years ago.

A strange thing was that just after opening the spreadsheet for this years results I was flooded with YouTube videos showing how to use the machines.

Ha I did this when I went to my GP last week - literally on the back of an envelope. She booked me in for an ECG this week.

@chadders @Wibble Sometimes I think just the very situation of having someone checking your blood pressure is stressful, especially with the blow-up cuff thing making loads of noise as it gets tighter and tighter. But presumably they take that into account when interpreting the reading.

[chadders]

I'm not certain.

They've put me on 24 hours monitoring using a strap on machine in the past to check though, now that is stressful as you're always waiting for the next half hourly buzz and tightening.

[myglaren]

They did mine when I was there on Friday.  It is always OK except for the time I went for a Covid jab at a pharmacy a few miles away.  Went on the bus and a passenger boarded drenched in perfume, to which I am very allergic.  Then had to ascend a hill to get to the pharmacy.

The bloke administering the injection would take my BP and had four goes at it, decided it was a concern and on my way home got a text from the doctor to go and see them.

Never a problem since although the pulse meter very often shows an irregular pulse, which can be readily heard as it beeps with each pulse.  can be a several second gap between them, otherwise around 63.  I think my heart just needs a break now and then.

[DavieW]

Deliveroo rider trying to cross a roundabout. Cycles on the pavement to the roundabout, gets off bike, looks for gap in traffic, pushes bike over roundabout up onto the pavement, gets back on and cyles away. Hate these riders with a passion. 

[Zelandeth]

I may have on this occasion found a way to get around the inability to speak to our GP surgery.  Go around the buggers.

Turns out that a lot of pharmacies (including the one I use) can take a blood pressure reading for you and have it input onto the NHS system, which your GP can see - and in the case of problems will raise a red flag at their end.  Felt bad for the lady I was speaking to based on the rate at which the colour drained from her face when she saw the reading.  She said that the official advice she had to give was to get myself to the walk in centre or A&E now - but agreed that with how catastrophically overloaded both of these are in the area that it was likely to be pointless and highly, highly unlikely to get me seen today unless I actually had a stroke right there in the waiting room.

However hey look - the message pinged through from the system suddenly had the surgery contacting me and instructing me to be there today at 5.  

That feels like way more of a victory than it really should have!

...Admittedly I've not actually been to the appointment yet, but hopefully they take it seriously and actually want to do something other than tell me to monitor it for two weeks and report back without giving me any actual channel to do so - which based on their prior history I'm kind of expecting.

[myglaren]

I made an unholy mess of my appointments, made two after a request text from the surgery.  Then had another sent by the hospital that I thought was a duplicate of the ones that I already had, so cancelled it.

For my second appointment I went to the wrong department and missed the appointment. Not a problem, made a new one and found that the one I cancelled was necessary but they couldn't make it, the hospital had to despite it only being one floor above but no means of making appointments there.

Had to use the dreaded telephone TWICE     as I was put through to the right department but the call was cut off.

But, appointment fixed with no bother. 

[LightBulbFun]

57 minutes ago, Zelandeth said:

However hey look - the message pinged through from the system suddenly had the surgery contacting me and instructing me to be there today at 5.  

That feels like way more of a victory than it really should have!

...Admittedly I've not actually been to the appointment yet, but hopefully they take it seriously and actually want to do something other than tell me to monitor it for two weeks and report back without giving me any actual channel to do so - which based on their prior history I'm kind of expecting.

can you use this as an opportunity to shoehorn in all the other concerns/things yah need to bring up with them? 

wishing you all the best! hopefully they can get on top of the issue at hand and any other issues you need/want handling, Health woes suck and I would not wish them on anyone!

[Spiny Norman]

On 28/03/2026 at 18:36, Spiny Norman said:

I have lost my favourite screwdriver.
I had it just the other day and now I can't find it, even after looking for far longer than was really worthwhile for something I can pick up at work tomorrow for a couple of quid, but it's the principle of the thing. 

We know what's going to happen here, don't we?

Fucking knew it....