The grumpy thread

[Cheggers]

The key for my steering wheel lock has somehow detached itself from my key ring (the springy ring type that is impossible to open without force). A feat that has never occurred since time began. I'm completely in awe of how this has happened.

image.jpeg

 

Black magic.

 

Not black in a racist way because that would be racist, and not magic in a Harry Potter witchcraft anti-religious way as that would offend the God botherers.

 

"God botherer" is offensive isn't it?

 

Fuck me, this is difficult.

 

Maybe it just fell off.

[Pillock]

Describing the colour of the magic doesn't take the story any further.

 

Plus everyone knows magic is usually Octarine. 

[purplebargeken]

I'd say that it was a fairly accurate description of London in all honesty, apart from the bits that have a royal family in it.

[the judge]

Descibing the laugh as similar to rusty lees' would have done. I think thats all he was getting at.

[fordperv]

Describing the colour of the magic doesn't take the story any further.

 

Plus everyone knows magic is usually Octarine.

Everyone knows the best colour magic is red, great for getting rid of pog

 

[Jazoli]

Watched the F1 race today, I do wish Ben Edwards would fuck off, although he did manage to keep me awake with his fucking shouting, what a cunt.

[Pillock]

First F1 race I've watched in about four years, it was ace!

[Richard]

F1 is still going?

[chaseracer]

What's F1?

[Pillock]

Like banger racing, but with more swearing on the radio and less Granadas.

 

Well, it was today anyway. Monaco in the rain. Bonus points for the team handing out team orders that the drivers interpreted as "just ram into each other".

[Richard]

Like banger racing, but with more swearing on the radio and less Granadas.

 

Ah, got you now.

 

[chaseracer]

That's Junkman on the left... 

[Pillock]

Can't be, those things don't have an interior light or cigarette lighter.

[Ghosty]

Speaking of things that are still going, Top Gear is on.

 

It's as shit as ever.

[dave21478]

I havent seen anything to do with F1 this year at all.

Is it true that there is a thing where the audience can phone in during the race to make a car go faster? I read that somewhere and wasnt sure if they were taking the piss or not.

[dean36014]

Well thats the end of Topgear for me, it was dire, too much shouting from Evans although matt was ok'ish.

[Stanky]

I havent seen anything to do with F1 this year at all.

 

Is it true that there is a thing where the audience can phone in during the race to make a car go faster? I read that somewhere and wasnt sure if they were taking the piss or not.

 

Thats one of the gimmicks for Formula-e I think, some kind of tweet-based 'boost' to encourage audience participation

[vulgalour]

The French (wait, there's more) should stop being allowed to design brakes.  They're really bad at it.  Or rather, they're very good at making brakes that are good, but they're very bad at making them easy to work on.  Stupid Renault.

[twosmoke300]

Renault not alone in that set up

Others I can think of offhand

 

Ford transit

Hondas inc prelude and accord ( rover 600 )

Toyota hilux

 

Prob loads more

[chaseracer]

A Renault 6 has brakes...? 

[UmBongo]

Top Gear review...

 

''It was better than I thought it would be.''

[andrew e]

I set about doing the yearly block paving pressure wash Friday. Jet wash operational - check. 6 bags of kiln dried sand - check. Kids off out - check. Sun shining - check.

 

19p weirdly sized skinny O ring specific to this Stihl pressure washer failing after 3 minutes - check. BALLS. Still they ordered me 5 (check me out 95p!) quite happily with no minium order whinging.

[RayMK]

An hour or two ago I was cooking my tea (as in evening meal - I'm old-fashioned) and my son was in the other room watching television.  His taste in programmes differs from mine, so it was not too unusual for me to ask him to turn it down a bit. Whatever he was watching was bloody irritating. He was surprised, and said "but it's Top Gear," knowing that I was one of the few* people who found the previous trio highly entertaining, to the point that it was the only programme I made an effort to watch.  I carried on cooking but listened more intently.  It sounded like a very tense presenter who was trying much too hard.  My irritation did not subdue.  After 15 minutes my son exclaimed "Rubbish. I'm not watching that" and switched to another programme.  Relief!

[wuvvum]

It was rubbish.  I lasted about ten minutes before giving up.  And I used to enjoy it before.

[MarvinsMom]

you both managed to watch more of twatgear than we saw.

 

cos we were in the pub, we didn't see any of it.

 

but its no loss, we couldn't stand the program when the 4 stupid twerps were presenting it.

[Jerzy Woking]

Have had an earache (and no sleep) for 36 hours, which destroyed my plans for the weekend. Pain subsided now but still partially deaf in it. 

[Pillock]

you both managed to watch more of twatgear than we saw.

 

cos we were in the pub, we didn't see any of it.

 

but its no loss, we couldn't stand the program when the 4 stupid twerps were presenting it.

The last time I can remember four people presenting TG was Clarkson, Goffey, Wilson and Needell.

[MarvinsMom]

but you forget that Cuntson is stupid enough for 2 people.....

[Richard]

I was assuming that The Stig was being included in the four.

[michael1703]

Have had an earache (and no sleep) for 36 hours, which destroyed my plans for the weekend. Pain subsided now but still partially deaf in it.

 

I was expecting a "but it was still more enjoyable than top gear" type comment when I started reading that