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Panda Alessi: The Pandarin

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I think he knows about Tac... This one being Tic.

Long convoluted story. But I needed to dump the Alessi at work as that's where the Cactus was which has my tools inside.

 

Alessi wouldn't open with the remote.... Absolutely fucking flat. I have a boost pack.... In the cactus.

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When pandas attack!!! Emotionally at least.

 

He’s been flat for a while, but will jump. At least he did a fortnight ago. I decide to jump it and take it for a run. I get 20 feet “abs failure, power steering failure, ebd failure "

I have no power steering, which is fun... 

It probably needs a new battery, however the earth-to-gearbox strap corrode.  Which requires removal of the battery tray and I can't be bothered.  I'll try and trickle charge the battery overnight.

 

I left it idling for 15 minutes... eat my co2 Greta Cuntberg and he wouldn't start.

 

I do earn brownie points for this tri-Panda shot.

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C1B2B6DE-570C-4AFA-ABA0-AAC1DCA887B8.jpeg

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I found with mine that changing the battery sorted it but in true style it paid me back by then doing the same thing about a week later and never again until I changed the battery for a new one when once more it  went about a week until it did the same thing. Mine has an alarm fitted which also drains the battery quite quickly to give added hilarity.

It could just be the system sorting itself out with a change of battery  as they seem to like a bit of Italian drama.

New batteries are cheap enough  so I go for that option ASAP otherwise you are likely to have all of the fun* in a short while.

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33 minutes ago, Kringle said:

I'm messaging her now. Free train travel for me so distance isn't too much of a problem!

Could be steering pump, maybe even top mounts not sure yet.

 

If it's been stood, I'd say battery. Which is why mine hasn't moved in a month. 😔

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She's only been doing 1500-2000 miles a year. However, the car hasn't been cleaned or maybe moved in a while due to the moss everywhere.

Needs a new front bumper, it's a standard Panda one. What intrigues me is the lack of lacquer peel. All orange ones have peel 😉

 

If it were listed as an Alessi, she might get more for it...

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The old battery was a Lion eurocarwanks special I assume. It sloshed about like buggary. The new battery is smaller and yet has 4ah more. 🤔

He didn't fire up straight away and "ABS/EBD FAILURE ENGINE OFF IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!?!?!!?!?!!?"  So, I turned the engine off and on..., "ABS EBD failure, the car is going to explode, engine fucking off!!!!!!!!!"
 

I tried lock to lock and it did nothing, I drove 10 feet and the lights vanished. Here's the thing, the car feels soo much lighter than the 4x4. It actually moves from a standstill, unlike the 4x4. The brakes are binding to hell and I need to lob some air in the tyres. I may treat him to a £10 car wash.

 

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11 minutes ago, Jim Bell said:

It sounds like you really don't like that 4x4 man. Are they MEANT to be slow or is the slowness unexpected in yours?

They're slow as buggar normally, I suspect the winter tyres don't help,

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I forgot about the non-removable valve caps... So I had to remove the wheeltrims like a lunatic. 

 

Because it's a £10 minimum Myanmar car wash, on the outskirts of town... Infront of me was an E55 AMG and behind me a brand new 8-series. 🤔

 

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