What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[NorfolkNWeigh]

This morning I cleverly went to work at 05.00 with Mrs N's keys in my pocket, to make things worse her car was blocking everything else on the drive. I received a pleasant* call at about 08.30 informing me of this. I couldn't get home till after 9 making wife and oldest daughter late for work.

When I did get home much abuse was piled on my head and my lovely wife reminded me what a silly fellow I'd been as she screeched away showering me with gravel.

Now, how is this a grin,you may ask?

Well, as I was pebbledashed I noticed the rear wheel was doing its share of spraying...

Result the rear diff isn't fucked! Cheered me right up that, and I know she'll be apologetic and possibly nice* to me tonight.

[anonymous user]

Two things making me happy, one being the pup's reaction to the first tiny bit of snow he's ever experienced, bouncing on all four legs, rolling in it, also eating it then looking puzzled.

 

The other discovering that I can remove a door in my house just using knives (no I didn't hack a hole in it) I got trapped in the kitchen as the latch on the door to the living room stuck, I had no tools in there and couldn't boot it open as it opened inwards. I could get out of the back door, but not back into the house as the front door was locked. I did get the door handle off with a knife using it as a screwdriver but still couldn't get the latch to turn, nor did sliding a knife in the gap at the latch free it. (all those people in films who open doors with a credit card must be luckier than me, or lying).

 

I then had a brainwave and using a small knife managed to get the hinge pins out and then levering with the carving knife get the door out of the frame from the hinge side. I have temporarily taken a latch from upstairs so that I can keep the dogs out of the living room and have now put some screwdrivers in a kitchen drawer. I am Houdini

 

[dave21478]

LOL.

Years back i was doing second-fix on a barn conversion and was in an upstairs room working away and pushed the door shut. I had recently fitted the door and it closed with a satisfying click. Then I realised I hadnt fitted the door handle yet.

Fucking moron.

No one else around, no other useful tools in the room, nothing to fit in the square hole in the latch, I couldnt kick it as I didnt want to fuck up the expensive door and the plaster work around the frame.

The window was too high to jump from, so I ended up taking my clothes off, tying one leg of my trousers to one sleeve of my jumper, one sleeve of the jumper to a broom handle which I braced across the window and dropping the rest down outside as an improvised rope.

Its harder to climb down a rope made of cloth than the movies would have you believe. I nearly broke my neck in the barely controlled fall.

[Cavcraft]

£830 for a towbar or £45 on a boot rack. I know what I'd be buying.

[MarvinsMom]

i once did something similar years ago at my ex's parents house. 

 

they had an extension on the back of the house with a lav in it. 

 

anyway,i had go, and after doing my duty, i found that i couldn't undo the door lock. no way, it was stuck fast....

 

after 20 minutes of me knocking on the door, the ex' came to see if "i was ok", no i'm not, i say, i'm locked in and cannot get out....

 

she thought i was been sarcastic or something cos she then buggered off....

 

and it was another good half an hour before her father came and let me out...

 

bloody marvellous. i'd have tried to climb out of the window, but it was a high up narrow thing, and there would have been no way on gods earth that i could have squeezed myself though it!!!

[320touring]

Got bastarding outbidded on another mac on eBay it just seems wrong spending 400 plus quid on a 6 year old computer. I recon I might end up doing what know wants to do at the weekend to get one. Go to Kirkcaldy .

Just keep the merc-cheaper and likely more reliable;)

[cort16]

Bastard, put that in the wrong thread . Carry on.

[KruJoe]

That's ace Tayne. Enjoyed the advert* below it too.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

My Primera developed a noisy wheel bearing over the weekend. I ordered a new one off eBay yesterday at 2pm after all the local car shops failed to get one. By 8.30 pm tonight it was on my car 🚗 and working a treat. Brilliant!

[steve_earwig]

That's ace Tayne. Enjoyed the advert* below it too.

Toyota Anus *wonders if he can get a badge made up*

 

There's another to the right of it which fits in with the "shit you see on the side of the road" thread.

[320touring]

SniffPetrol is always worth a look, it's usually updated a couple of times a day.

Twitter feed is oft funny too

[320touring]

My Primera developed a noisy wheel bearing over the weekend. I ordered a new one off eBay yesterday at 2pm after all the local car shops failed to get one. By 8.30 pm tonight it was on my car 🚗 and working a treat. Brilliant!

Always good when a job goes well:)

[320touring]

SniffPetrol is always worth a look, it's usually updated a couple of times a day.

Twitter feed is oft funny too

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Dire Straits In concert on Sky Art- right now, brings back memories of stretched cassettes in my 1970 Cortina and 72 Executive. The soundtrack of my youth- I'm pretty sure my first speeding ticket,shag and crash ( not at the same time) all had Love Over Gold playing in the background through 5 watt Binatone parcel shelf speakers.

[EssDeeWon]

Bird sitting next to me at work today says her 40k 2010 KA is knackered so she is online looking at new cars...

 

Nearly £20k for a Fiesta ST??? WHAAAAATT!!!?

 

Its just a Ford Fiesta with alloys and some sporty seats!!

 

20 GRAND!! LOL.

[xtriple]

Bird sitting next to me at work today says her 40k 2010 KA is knackered so she is online looking at new cars...

 

Nearly £20k for a Fiesta ST??? WHAAAAATT!!!?

 

Its just a Ford Fiesta with alloys and some sporty seats!!

 

20 GRAND!! LOL.

Yep! I was looking for a new car a few months ago and was astonished a the prices. Because I need an auto most of the 'budget' cars had to be specced up so much to get a decent gearbox (and then a robotic manual - shit!) I was looking at 16K plus for even the most mingebag heaps.

 

I hate being a fucking cripple!

[nigel bickle]

Gaz

 

Legal

 

Yah!

[Jim Bergerac]

Bird sitting next to me at work today says her 40k 2010 KA is knackered so she is online looking at new cars...

 

Nearly £20k for a Fiesta ST??? WHAAAAATT!!!?

 

Its just a Ford Fiesta with alloys and some sporty seats!!

 

20 GRAND!! LOL.

 

Price of a brand new Fiesta XR2 in 1984: £5,731

Corrected for inflation: £16,894

 

I remember a discussion on another forum a couple of months back where we worked out that the 1990 price of a Rover 416 GTI worked out as over £30,000 in today's money. A Montego GTI was barely any cheaper, either.

[phil_lihp]

This is quite a good tool for seeing how much something sold in a previous year would be worth today:

 

http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/bills/article-1633409/Historic-inflation-calculator-value-money-changed-1900.html

[twosmoke300]

Today was a day of days.

I've had a really tidy 88 v12 xjs in my workshop for over a year now as a hospital job to dip in and out of when I get quiet. Ha ha.

 

I've rebuilt the rear brakes inc dropping the IRS . replaced the front to rear fuel pipes but the customer wanted the plugs changing . He reckoned they haven't been done for over 10 years . They are the taper type which love to snap off , are a twat to get to , and of course there are 12 of the fuckers.

I've put it off for months tbh and was dreading it .

 

Well , today I had a job cancel and I've done the fuckers. All came out nice once I got it nice and hot. Few little jobs morro and it can go. Brilliant news as I get my space back for a day or two until a tvr cerbera comes in.

 

A good day.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

This is quite a good tool for seeing how much something sold in a previous year would be worth today:

 

http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/bills/article-1633409/Historic-inflation-calculator-value-money-changed-1900.html

I had a new XR3i in 1985 ,it cost £8400 with sunroof and alloys as extras. Just used this and it equates to £23,500.

Price of a Focus ST in 2015 ? £22,195, all new cars is bargains.

[saucedoctor]

Saw a Honda CBX today on the Carrickfergus-Larne main coast road. It was pissing down, and the rider was giving it the beans. Fuckin glorious. Straight 6, in a bike, FTW.

 

Just like this one

 

[twosmoke300]

Lovely engine , terrible chassis. Sound amazing don't they?

[hairnet]

sctsh sunday at aldi

 

shame no square sausage

 

https://www.aldi.co.uk/en/specialbuys/sunday-18-jan/

[MrDuke]

How exactly do 'fishing thermals' differ from any other kind? Or 'fishing sweaters', for that matter?

[M'coli]

Saw a Honda CBX today on the Carrickfergus-Larne main coast road. It was pissing down, and the rider was giving it the beans. Fuckin glorious. Straight 6, in a bike, FTW.

 

Just like this one

 

There was a Scottish guy known to Perfomance Bikes magazine in the early 90s that wrote of his as the "Rasping Sextet Fanged Beast"!

[Richard]

How exactly do 'fishing thermals' differ from any other kind? Or 'fishing sweaters', for that matter?

 

I think it's the colour. I bought fishing T shirts in Aldi last year and I don't fish. Take that, The Man!

[fordperv]

The 88 spec rs turbo was £10028 when new 1988 and working it out from that site it is £26628 in today's cash

[mat_the_cat]

i once did something similar years ago at my ex's parents house. 

 

they had an extension on the back of the house with a lav in it. 

 

anyway,i had go, and after doing my duty, i found that i couldn't undo the door lock. no way, it was stuck fast....

 

after 20 minutes of me knocking on the door, the ex' came to see if "i was ok", no i'm not, i say, i'm locked in and cannot get out....

 

she thought i was been sarcastic or something cos she then buggered off....

 

and it was another good half an hour before her father came and let me out...

 

bloody marvellous. i'd have tried to climb out of the window, but it was a high up narrow thing, and there would have been no way on gods earth that i could have squeezed myself though it!!!

 

That reminds me of almost the opposite thing which happened at my now-wife's student house in Birmingham. We were down there during holiday time so she could get some work done, and had gone to the library leaving me at home all day. I popped out to get something from the car, but when I got outside I realised I'd left my car keys in the house. Of which the front door had now closed.

 

I checked underneath the mat, but sadly no key. No phone, no wallet for a payphone, no neighbours as all the other students had left, and seemingly no way of getting back in. Until I went round the back of the house and saw the upper part of the toilet window open on the extension. Dragged the bin round to climb on, but it was tiny! I measured it as around the same height as the base of my hand to the fingertips.

 

I couldn't get through, but I figured if I unscrewed the window and the latch that would give me the extra inch that I needed. I had my penknife on me as always, so set to work and started to climb in. Still no joy, as my belt and jeans were still snagging on the window frame. Nothing to do but wriggle out of them, and eventually after about 20 minutes I managed to squeeze my hip bone through the gap - at which point I fell noisily and painfully into the sink below.

 

All the way through the ordeal I was alternating between giggling at the (presumably) amusing sight of a half-naked man wedged in a window, and fear that someone would call the police to deal with the 'burglary', or that I would indeed get stuck. Fortunately nobody (that I know of) saw me, and my only problem was a few scratches on my cheeks.

 

The annoying part is that there was a key under the plantpot by the door...

[EssDeeWon]

The 88 spec rs turbo was £10028 when new 1988 and working it out from that site it is £26628 in today's cash

 

They were nice! Which color FP,  Rosso Red, Mercury grey, Black or white?

 

Mercury grey for me