What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Station]

Cracking episode of The Professionals on ITV4 just now, with a bronze Princess and Cowley's 2.8 Granny having a bit of a chase

 

 

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I think I've seen that one.

 

About 20 TIMES! (due to Professionals being repeated everyday)

[Spiny Norman]

Well that's the MOT-less Merc gone. Got a few texts yesterday from a breaker who seemed keen, he just came and picked it up this afternoon for the full £400 I was asking on Gumtree. One of the easiest car sales I've ever done.

 

Result.

[cort16]

That's a right result. 400 is a great price for basically as scrap car. Is it going for export or is he breaking it?

[HillmanImp]

I also liked "Liza minellis's spaghetti umbrelli"

 

Featuring Gene Kelly IIRC.

 

All this talk of VIZ and Grange Hill suggests its another great time to upload this pic:

 

[oman5]

"why you so fat, ro-LAND? I only want to help you, ro-LAND"

[Cavcraft]

Oh shat ap, yer silly cow.

[Spiny Norman]

That's a right result. 400 is a great price for basically as scrap car. Is it going for export or is he breaking it?

 

He's breaking it.

I think he must have had someone lined up for the engine & box, all he was interested in was did it drive OK? Said he'll make a few quid off the cat and alloys too. Wasn't even local, he came all the way from Perth. I hadn't the heart to tell him I was passing through there only yesterday.

I'm happy A) because I got what I thought was quite an optimistic price for it, and zero hassle bar fielding his dozen or so texts, and B ) that it's not just getting crushed, it was far too good a car for that. This way it'll help keep a few more on the road, which is a far better 'green' option than cubing it and buying a fucking Kia that'll be dead in 8 years.

[michiel]

 

[Bucketeer]

http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/article/20140109/NEWS/140109595?tag=1#140109595?tag=2

 

Don't drink and drive.

 

Really don't drink and drive, then run off from the police and hide in a tree. In the snow.

 

Really, really don't drink and drive, hide in a tree and then try and persuade the following police officers that the reason there is only one set of footprints from the car to the tree is because 'that drunk-driving guy' gave you a piggy-back before running off elsewhere.

 

Really, really, really don't drink and drive, hide in a tree and then as a last resort, tell the police you're an owl.

[HillmanImp]

No Autoshite in it but it did make me grin.

 

[vulgalour]

Those last two posts gave me a good old chuckle, as did this picture I found on the interbutts.

 

[Jim Bergerac]

Thanks for that. Some good stuff there.

 

A few of the sets are things I've been after for ages, but have been too much money up 'til now.

[KruJoe]

I saw this hung above a urinal when I was out last night:

 

 

I thought you lot might enjoy it, even if I didn't translate the captions...

[Danblez]

First gear on my 924 has been a pain in the arse to go in since I got it. For the last 3 days it has been almost perfect. This makes me happy.

 

Does this mean it will explode any minute?

[TimothyClaypole]

Book a crate to go today with Parcelforce as it was cheaper that TNT, just happened to read the email from Interparcel that it was booked through - No pallets or crate, £300.00 surcharge if you send one... dogs.

 

Re-booked with TNT who I've sent them with before and emailed about the Parcelforce job, refunded me straight away.

 

(Parcelforce guy had arrived at 9.15am so I told him the story), so now it'll be a no show from TNT no doubt. 

 

Oh and had a crate delivered too:

 

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Royal Mail's 'small deep' parcel size is great, I'm sending all sorts of stuff for £2.60/£3.00 that would previously have been uneconomic to post just because they were slightly more than 9cm thick. 

 

edit: not relevant to crate delivery

[TimothyClaypole]

What the other dimensions L x W for those?

 

I would love to stick some stuff on Ebay but they are just under 2kgs and end up costing more to post than I sell them for as they end up as medium but could go in a flatter box etc.

[Junkman]

This morning on the way to work I spotted a giffer-driven minter of a V20 Camry V6 in white.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

What the other dimensions L x W for those?

 

I would love to stick some stuff on Ebay but they are just under 2kgs and end up costing more to post than I sell them for as they end up as medium but could go in a flatter box etc.

 

All here: http://www.royalmail.com/personal/help-and-support/Tell-me-about-size-and-weight-formats

 

It's much better than it was, the measly max depth of 8 or 9 cm on the old small parcel meant a lot of stuff was unpostable, like a small model car being a large parcel because the box is 10cm tall. If the Jalopy go round is still running, it'll cut the cost of that too - I had to pay nearly ten quid to post those magazines! 

[cort16]

I'm enjoying the comments on the local facebook cars for sale page. It's like chat roulette mixed with some kind of weird gumtree live with a sprinkling of a special needs unit day out.

I'm just glad it's not me trying to sell a car on it.

[fordperv]

i washed mrs fordpervs car my hands were numb with cold, but seeing a clean and shiney car makes me smile

[Lord Sterling]

^^^ Yesterday I took the Sterling for a wash at a £4 'wash it yerself' place found in many petrol stations as I'm barrassic at the moment. My hands were very cold cleaning it so today when I took the Micra to the same place, I used my leather gloves, nice and warm hands whilst cleaning the car.

[fordperv]

good idea with the gloves, ill give that a try next time, i tend to wash my cars at mrs fordpervs parents they literally live 2 streets away, i still haven't fitted an outside tap at my place which is laziness mainly, im very glad i can wash cars for free if i did have to pay id soon be skint

[cobblers]

The 21 year old apprentice at work has managed to save up £3500 and he's going to use it all to buy a Fiesta ST. I've told him he's a fucking idiot to, but fair play to him, his money - hats off to him for saving all that up on teaboy wage.

He's so flipping naive about the whole car buying situation it's unreal, makes you realise how shady used car lots make so much money. Few examples of idiocy that amused me:

 

Today he was visibly pissed off that a car dealer wouldn't take a car off the market until Saturday so he could go an have a look at it. This was somewhere in the middle of 5 or 6 phone calls to the dealer about this car over the space of the day, asking all kinds of pointless questions about stuff that was in the photos or the advert description. "He says it's first come first served! There's no need for him to be a dick like that, I've told him I'm working all week!"

 

I asked him if the car he was going to see had any service history or anything - turns out he had never heard the term "service history" before and had no concept of the fact that a car needed servicing, and that a newer car would be expensive to keep serviced up properly. I had to explain all the stuff about cambelts, oil changes etc and what they cost and when they should be done. He thought that all this was done for £40 a year at the MOT - he also assumed it would still cost the same £125 a year to tax as his 1.25 mk5 fiesta. (It's actually £475 which surprised even me)

 

Same goes for insurance - "It's still a fiesta though, why would it be more? it's not a lamborghini or anything".

He had a claim last year when his old corsa got stolen because he left it parked outside a travelling fair down a shady back road for 3 days. He claimed on the insurance for it and took the first offer they gave him (£370) minus his excess leaving him with a claim on his file, loss of a years no claims and a £20 cheque. 

 

He thought he would be able to pay the bloke £3500 with a cheque and drive off there and then.

I explained that you can "barter" and get a bit of cash off which was a pleasant surprise to him, but he got carried away and started looking at £5500 cars thinking he could knock the seller down to his £3500 budget.is now expecting to walk away with the car for £2000.

[cort16]

Sounds like he needs to get on Facebook

[Pillock]

Sounds like we need to hear what happens next, in regular installments.

[dome]

I'm enjoying the comments on the local facebook cars for sale page. It's like chat roulette mixed with some kind of weird gumtree live with a sprinkling of a special needs unit day out.

I'm just glad it's not me trying to sell a car on it.

Glasgow by any chance? I keep it on my facebook purely to dip my toe in the world of fuckwits every now and again.

[cort16]

ha ha yes it is!

[hairnet]

2.0 fezzas are 220 a year

 

even phantoms are less than 500 a year to tax

[cobblers]

I was gonna say, I put it in the googles and some site said band L, anything other than <>1500cc is alien to me.

I was on the workshop "it has internet but don't use it for internet or we will moan like fuck at you" machine at work with the gaffer floating round so I didn't do my research. The lad will be like a dog with two dicks when I tell him!