What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[messerschmitt owner]

Bought a new house today.

[meshking]

Bought a new car yesterday in a flurry of "working at home". Picking up an untidy x-reg Volvo v70 this morning, hopefully a rug doctor and a jet wash will see it come up nicely.

[Cavcraft]

Bought a new house today.

 

You can't just leave it there, spill the beans!

[messerschmitt owner]

Well it has a small double garage, two workshops and office plus four beds and four receptions rooms. It was built sometime in the seventeenth century and is an old dairy. Right in the middle of a little village in the forest of dean. Hopefully it will all go through ok. Mortgage advisor wanted to know when he can move in.

 

It has been for sale for a while. A little too dear so we haggled down to 250 from 285 and they accepted. Getting an early inheritance due to house sale so getting the extra we couldn't afford to pay for it.

 

Has off road parking for six or seven vehicles too plus an extra stone built shed between house and garage complex. Am in Scotland on the phone so no piccies till I get home.

 

Google map it at the square, ruardean. It's the big house on the left as you look up the side street.

[Cavcraft]

Nice one, that sounds ace, especially with 35 large off the price.

[messerschmitt owner]

It is ace. Everything is where we wanted it inside the house. It has a fantastic wood burner plus window seas in the bedrooms. Not many nice original features but does have oak beams and lots of space. Certainly the best house I've bought this year. Only spent £1.1 million on houses I didn't get to buy.

 

The price is just right and there's a fantastic pub up the street.

[M'coli]

I did clock the pub on the map, looks like a nice place to live.

[Lord Sterling]

Nice one MO. Does look like a nice house and a sweet little town to be in.

[drum]

[Spiny Norman]

Don't normally bother with 'road rage' type posts but this one has such a happy ending....

 

Encountered archetypal twat in low rent Dizzler 3 series who tailgated me all the way along a main road about a foot off my back bumper, so close all I could see of his car was the windscreen with his arsehole face and bluetooth earpiece....

Played with him a bit, sped up & slowed down but he wouldn't overtake, just sat there being a dick, until I got to the well hidden (but not to me) speed camera so I pulled in to the left and braked, 'allowing' him to pass at about 50mph...

He sped past me giving me the Gareth Hunt just as I saw the two flashes light up the back of his twatmobile ...

 

Carlsberg don't do Sunday afternoon shopping trips, but if they did.....

[willswitchengage]

^ similar experience for me driving home the other day - "Euro" Polo behind me - I stops at a red light and he bizarrely leaves about a 30ft gap between us (him behind). Lights go green, he has his run up and tries to overtake before having to yield due to oncoming traffic. Later in the 30 zone, just before a speed camera, he finds a gap and makes his belated overtake - the camera offered me smug consolation until I noticed he had removed both his numberplates - a new trend I've noticed amongst the smaller penised motorists.

[boobydoo]

The usual sub-standard effort from Legs & Co , Top Of The Pops October 1980. I only hope the waft of sweaty flange didn't discolour too much of the paintwork on the sparkly new Delta!

 

[outlaw118]

Notice how the lights flash on and oiff intermittently......no surprise there then

[Cavcraft]

Gumtree:

 

Always said it as a great website with some brilliant users.

[vulgalour]

Maestros from Autoshiters. Skattrd, you're a star.

[Morgan84]

Don't normally bother with 'road rage' type posts but this one has such a happy ending....

 

Encountered archetypal twat in low rent Dizzler 3 series who tailgated me all the way along a main road about a foot off my back bumper, so close all I could see of his car was the windscreen with his arsehole face and bluetooth earpiece....

Played with him a bit, sped up & slowed down but he wouldn't overtake, just sat there being a dick, until I got to the well hidden (but not to me) speed camera so I pulled in to the left and braked, 'allowing' him to pass at about 50mph...

He sped past me giving me the Gareth Hunt just as I saw the two flashes light up the back of his twatmobile ...

 

Carlsberg don't do Sunday afternoon shopping trips, but if they did.....

 

That is a nice way of dealing with such a twonk

[M'coli]

Went to Sheffield today to the Alfred Denny museum as mentioned in another thread. Once parked, we walked there, but unfortunately did not have the camera about as a C-reg yellow Ford Orion went past us - damn. The museum was excellent.

 

Then as I went to take the dog out for his evening walk, we seem to have aquired a hamster...

 

[Rocket88]

Eurpoean Ryder Cup team mounting the greatest comeback since Lazarus.......................and shutting up mongish USA crowds, who's behaviour had no place on a golf course.

[trigger]

U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A U.S..... Oh bollocks.

[autofive]

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-n ... d-19783214

[Cavcraft]

Another Gumtree success and more top Asian buyers. The lad who's been sent to collect the Almera turned up in absolutely THE worst Transit you'll ever see and managed to break the back of the bed putting the car on.

Had a right laugh with him, one of life's characters alright, and he described himself as 'the first P*ki to have pissed in all four corners of Britain.'

[michiel]

Sort of quoting dollywobbler from a couple of pages back:

 

Sunshine. Small Japanese car. Welsh roads. Welsh scenery. Sunshine. Rain. Welsh roads. Welsh scenery. And as a bonus we accidentally took the Cat and Fiddle road on the way from Hull to Llandudno.

2500 km in 12 days (we normally do under 7000 km a year), lots of castles, abbeys, nice hotels and food and up and down, left and right on roads that are about as wide as a Sirion.... and I only tried to kill us once, overtaking a tractor uphill, nearly crashed into a police Discovery...

 

Here's the little hero on Gospel Pass:

 

Gospel Pass by Michiel V, on Flickr

[Spiny Norman]

U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A U.S..... Oh bollocks.

 

The amount of butthurt being felt by our transatlantic cousins about losing a game of get-a-ball-in-a-hole-by-hitting-it-with-a-stick is really quite amusing. It's actually on the news!

 

Message to Yanks - You only get to be "World Champiums" in sports no-one else plays, like what you call football, your version of rounders or your hopelessly dull roundy-round version of motor racing.

If you want to be champions of the actual world in a sport, you need to beat some opposition that's not from Kansas....

[ashmicro]

HARSH. (Fair, though)

[Cavcraft]

This should probably be in the 'grumpy' thread but the absolute stupidity of the seller's schill bidding is ace:

 

http://feedback.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI ... ckAsSeller

 

So they sold the same blue Merc three times, twice (to their mates) with good feedback, the last one not so good. 'Nikkiflynn' has seven feedback, all from the same person who just happens to be 'amycgai1'

What a f*cking spanner.

[Louise2cv]

Youtubing "electrolux 502" (vacuum cleaner shite, if you like)... don't ask.

 

Some guy complaining in the comments section that in all the videos the guy is wearing shorts and has bare feet. Video owner asks why it bothers him so much, the reply is that people will think vacuum collectors are weirdos . Nowt to do with the hoovers then dude?

 

I used to cry whenever mom got her electrolux 502(?) out, they still give me the creeps. Almost as much as my nan's Hoover with fabric bag *shudder*

[vulgalour]

My aunt had a Kirby rather like this one. It might not have been this exact model, but I do recall it being burgundy with a light on the front. Posh vacuum-shite really.

 

When I asked what the light was for on the front, I was told it was so you could see what you're doing when there's a powercut. I believed that for years too, for I was small and impressionable. Personally, I'm happy with my Dyson DC01 frankenstein that I've had for years and just keep bolting bits of other Dysons to so it keeps going.

[Louise2cv]

Oooo now that is scariest yet.

 

I think dysons are a bit over-rated, but have been unable to find a vacuum yet that I am impressed with. Vax was pap, most of the other have achieved as much as you could expect with my rubbish budget. The best so far though is a £35 Tesco's number. They don't do spare parts though "bin it when broken, buy more" attitude.

[JohnDeere]

Watching The Spy Who Loved Me. Never mind the submersible Lotus, the best bit is Jaws tearing the roof off the Sherpa van. Some time later when it breaks down in the desert, the Russian spy (Barbara Bach) takes one look at the engine and diagnoses "cylinder head gasket" as the problem. And I didn't even realise they fitted K-series into mid-70s Sherpas.

[wuvvum]

Watching The Spy Who Loved Me. Never mind the submersible Lotus, the best bit is Jaws tearing the roof off the Sherpa van. Some time later when it breaks down in the desert, the Russian spy (Barbara Bach) takes one look at the engine and diagnoses "cylinder head gasket" as the problem. And I didn't even realise they fitted K-series into mid-70s Sherpas.

About ten years ago I went to have a look at an Audi 200 that a chap had advertised in the local rag. He had a selection of supposedly ex-Bond motors in his barn, including that Sherpa, still with the roof torn open. I have no idea if it was the actual one or not, but it looked pukka enough.