What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Guest Hooli]

There's a couple of young lads about 11/12 who must live near my work, they tear round the roads on BMXs with no brakes and I've nearly seen both of them get run over a few times, they're thick as shit and I've told them as much.

 

Today one of them swerved and copped for a kerb when avoiding a car. He fell off and then the one following him couldn't stop because he'd no brakes, so he crashed into the whole mess and fell off too.

 

They say there's nothing quite as good as someone elses misfortune. Hopefully the stupid bastards will learn their lesson before they end up splattered up the front of some poor fuckers car.

 

 

One place I lived with had little shits who'd hid round a bend & run out in front of cars as it was funny to see people panic brake. I got bored of them & came round the corner in 1st not trundling in 3rd, they run out, I floored it, instant wheelspin & skidmarks in pants. They never did it again, but one did fall over the kerb as they panicked to get away

[vulgalour]

 

No idea what's going on in the video as I don't speak the lingo, but there's some quality vehicular content in the above.

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Just looking at BB news app and reading that George C Looney's wife is almost called Anal. Made me chuckle.

[M'coli]

It's even better than that - here's a picture of Mrs Clooney in an earlier incarnation:

[bramz7]

Picked up the BX this morning. Timing belt, water pump, oil filter, and oil change all done, along with a split breather hose replaced.

Definitely recommend Forge to anyone who has a Citroen, they even sorted out my sticky driver's door lock at no extra charge.

They said they got another BX in on the same day, also a 1.4. Wonder what that was like...

 

Also more importantly they said they couldn't see any major areas of concern underneath. There is some rust but nothing bad. Pretty pleased with that all really.

[Eddie Honda]

Pleased to hear of your good experience bramz7. Reasonable cost?

[yellowperil]

Today I did take and pass my LGV.

I can now has drive of lorry.

[Tamworthbay]

Childish, I know, but I notice the snooker has thrown up a Fu/King semi-final

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I look forward to seeing King Fu fighting for a win

[Cavcraft]

My son took the brakes off his BMX bike beause 'they're not cool and you wouldn't understand'

 

 

​(he was right on both counts)

[loserone]

To be fair no one likes front brakes and back brake cables get in the way of turning the handlebars all the way around.

 

Having said that, whilst my old BMX has no brakes, my unicycle does have a magura HS33.  Using that for the first time is a bit like left foot braking an automatic for the first time.

[DodgeRover]

I like front brakes I used to be able to almost endo my Grifter....

[AlabamaShrimp]

Been away about a week and picked it up tonight. So happy to have it back, it's a lot better than when it went. just need the replacement stickers now.

 

 

[bramz7]

Pleased to hear of your good experience bramz7. Reasonable cost?

 

 

Yeah it was pretty much dead on what I estimated/budgeted for. They were super friendly and chatty too, which always helps. The receptionist (I didn't catch her name) spoke very fondly of her experiences with a BX in the past. 

 

I did say to them on the way out they would see me again, in a Citroen of some sort.

[Guest Hooli]

Just because

[richardmorris]

Done before - worth repeating...

 

 

 

Q. You're stranded on an island with Hunt, Trump and Putin. You have a gun but only two bullets. What do you do?

 

A. Shoot Hunt twice, just to make sure.

[anonymous user]

Done before - worth repeating...

 

 

 

Q. You're stranded on an island with Hunt, Trump and Putin. You have a gun but only two bullets. What do you do?

 

A. Shoot Hunt twice, just to make sure.

In such a situation I'd probably just shoot myself.

[Lacquer Peel]

Just because

Hilarious* stuff as ever.

You won't believe what meat eaters eat, a lot more plants than vegetarians, indirectly via the animal corpses they like to devour.

[tinribs]

Can't. Stop. Watching. I'm addicted. :) MOAR!!!

 

[BavarianRetro]

Thanks to Tayne's Dundee stuff, Big Aggie's legendary Scumdee phone messages are worth hearing again. Must be over 10 years old, now.

 

[Cheggers]

Hilarious* stuff as ever.

You won't believe what meat eaters eat, a lot more plants than vegetarians, indirectly via the animal corpses they like to devour.

Zzzzzzzz...

 

It was a joke ffs, give it a rest.

 

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[doobietoo]

[twosmoke300]

Zzzzzzzz...

 

It was a joke ffs, give it a rest.

 

 

Exactly - preachy preachy !

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[Dick Cheeseburger]

In town the other day, and waiting at the car park ticket machine. Suited and booted chap wearing tweed type jacket, brylcreemed floppy hair, slight gut and arrogant scowl joined the queue, making clear his disdain at having to wait with the public to pay for his car parking ticket.

I was convinced one of the nearly new ticked up 3 series or a4's lined up nearby would be his snotty steed of choice.

Imagine my surprise when he hopped into his 04 plate Rover 75 tourer! Good man - clearly has some, if only a little, taste.

[Pillock]

Daily 1-series has developed a knock at idle. Not a big-end style thumping, but a drumming sound.

 

Was just going to book it in - it's leased, so a) my employer pays for maintenance and if I don't get it sorted and it knackers something, they'll charge me.

 

It was cold last night, so I started the engine to keep Mrs_P warm whilst I put in the screenwash I bought from Tesco in their carpark. Popped the bonnet and found the placca engine cover held on by only one of its four nubbins and jumping all over the place (because wobbly three pot engine)

 

Cheap fix - ripped it off and chucked it in the boot.

[puddlethumper]

Had to get some new discs for my 305 van and as  ECP were on the way home popped in. They couldn't get them so before going home to get on the Bay of flea decided to drop into my local parts shop, who have been fairly good over the years.

Bloody hell ! He had them in stock ! ! " How much? ", says I.  " Well, I'm not likely to sell them to anyone else " says he " So 25 squids will do"  Snatch hand off.  " I've also got some rear shockers that only fit vans and estates " says he. " How much ?". "25 squids if you want them. I've had them for about 15 years, and I can't see anyone else wanting them".  Snatch other hand off. Total grin all the way home.

[Pillock]

Can't you find out what else he has in stock, buy the cars that he has parts for, and spend the next few years buying £25 parts...

[Lord Sterling]

I love the fact that when someone types a post with "a) b )" the "b" and ")" together gives the poster a smiley with sunglasses rather than the "b )" they were intending.

 

a)

c)

 

Lol...

[Pillock]

But only for lowercase.

Yours there didn't make it into a sunglasses smiley.

Which is daft, as it's capital-B-bracket that looks like a sunglasses smiley.

[AMC Rebel]

Watching Otway The Movie. The man is a genius.

[Lord Sterling]

But only for lowercase.

Yours there didn't make it into a sunglasses smiley.

Yes, but only because in my original post, the lower-case b and ) bracket had a space between them.

 

Example:

 

b ) and

 

The second one is a smiley with a lower-case b with no space between the ) bracket. Whether the b is capitsl or lower case doesn't make a difference. It's still funny. Maybe shiters should use numbers instead of the alphabet when making points/lists