What's the worst car you could drive long distance?

[Station]

(Without turning this into a worst car evar/Vauxhall thread ...)

 

Your mates have decided they're going on a camping excursion not in the country and its a long way away. Halfway through the journey you're really as the point of no return and the car is doing something worryingly untoward that has your brown-eye quivering in anticipation. 'Please not now ...' You think.

 

Apart from anything with a k-series, what could be the absolute worst car that would be guaranteed to DNF well before your destination or is so unsuitable/uncomfortable for cruising? Not 'what's the worst car you've driven', what would be unsuitable for 1000 mile journey.

 

In 20 years of driving, ive not had a car totally break down, but I did drive an auto k10 Micra which only changed up a gear at 35mph so you had to break the speed limit to avoid the engine screaming it's balls off thanks to the two speed gearbox.

[Pete-M]

Zafira CDTI.

[John F]

Many years ago I went on a climbing trip from London to Fontainebleau (south of Paris) six-up in a Lightweight Land Rover 2.25 petrol. I also used to drive the same Lightweight back to Yorkshire & on trips up to North Wales fairly regularly. Top speed was a very thirsty 60-ish mph, although it would occasionally go off the 80 mph clock on downhill sections, usually accompanied by frantic steering input to keep it in a straight line.

 

It never actually FTP'd but in hindsight, now that I have a lot more knowledge of Series Land Rovers, it could have happened at any time.

[dollywobbler]

Isuzu Trooper Mk1. Won't FTP, but you'd probably jump out after a few miles. Utterly horrid to drive.

[Liggle]

Once had a Vectra C 2.0 DTi Estate as a pool car, that would cut the throttle if you tried to accelerate hard, only fix was turn engine off for a few secs and then turn it back on! Interesting when you are in the outside lane of the A34. 

[andy18s]

Talbot Sunbeam Ti, on which the front chassis rails had rotted away from the inside out

6 up on a trip to Newquay from Shropshire and the car got 1 hell of a wobble somewhere on the M5

Turned out the rail around the n/s front wishbone mount had parted company with the rest of the chassis and was flapping in the breeze....had to get to a garage and sort some kind of repair out

Ended up with looooong 5mm plates being welded onto 3 sides of the rail,overlapping the front mount and was probably the strongest part of the whole shell by then..

Lasted another 6 mths untill the car got traded for something or other...

 

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[chodweaver]

Mk1 Vitara. Probably would be ok as long as you don't attempt motorway speeds in it, which for a long journey, you'd need to, as it's not a luxurious place to spend time. But this is when you'd discover how inherently unstable they are.

 

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[SiC]

Astra G Mk4. The car will get you there, but not sure if my back would.

 

Vauxhall seats = 

 

Yet GM owned a proportion of Saab at the time. No idea why they couldn't have convinced their excellent seat engineers to work some magic on them.

[sierraman]

Micra 1.0. I probably don't need to explain why.

[Bren]

My E reg senator - ventilation system was fooked and continously streamed hot air into the cabin. Just what you need on a July afternoon....

[oldcars]

Reliant Rialto. Need i say more 

[saucedoctor]

I once went from Carrickfergus to Londonderry (about 80 miles) in a 90BHP, short wheelbase (88"?) Land Rover V8. I wasn't even driving it, and was knackered, fume-intoxicated and partially deaf by the time we got there.

[fatharris]

My first car was a Nissan Sunny that I eventually sold on to my brother. After 8 months of faultless service, the day came to deliver it. Only issue was, he was working in Helensburgh, and I was working in South Cornwall. I finished a 11-hour shift, and hopped in with a friend I was dropping off in Liverpool.

 

All was going well until I passed my usual slip road to go home, and suddenly, the car lost 90% power and the throttle pedal kept clicking on full throttle. Eventually, we learned that shutting the engine off for five minutes restored full power for about thirty miles. Sadly, this fault happened just outside Bodmin, which meant another 530-ish miles to go. Many, many hours later, I dropped the car off and came home via plane. Brother took it to a garage where they changed the HT leads and sparks, to no avail. As he was learning to drive, he lived with it.

 

Six months later, I bought the car back off him, which meant another trip to Scotland, and another long stop-start drive home.

 

Eventually, the fault was diagnosed by a friend who knew nothing about cars who noticed a split air/vacuum line. Snipped the end and slotted it on and it was absolutely fine afterwards.

 

Those were long journeys.

[dollywobbler]

It must be said, my standards are pretty low. I've driven an H van to Sweden. That was pretty unpleasant. I've driven a 2CV to Switzerland. That was really rather good! 2CVs are much quicker and faster than H vans. I've also driven a 1.0-litre Sirion all the way to the top of Scotland and back. 

 

The Trooper really was awful though. No suspension plus a noisy engine, with a papercut-thin power band and a gearbox where the ratios don't even allow you to keep it in that power band. And shit suspension. And woeful handling. 

[John F]

^ Hah! Luxury. You had a powerband, and presumably a gearbox that actually selected ratios without requiring an animal sacrifice and/or the omens to be portentious

[Guest Hooli]

Hyundai pony X2, that's the model not two of them.

 

Easily the worst car I've ever driven in everyway. The only thing that gets close to it's level of shite is a shitrun C15.

[Asimo]

Mini, the original one. Just say no. Unbearable for more than ten minutes.

 

I am easy to please, I have done 300 mile trips in an LDV Cub and enjoyed them, thousands and thousands of miles in air cooled Beetles and survived but please, no more miles in a Mini.

 

The Astra Diesels they have at work are so miserable I won't drive them anywhere any more either. There is not that much bad about them, they are just so depressing to operate.

[Longblackcoat]

Allegro 1500 (in that horrible hearing-aid almost-mustard) from Colchester to Coldstream. Not just yer average 'Leggy, this one had water sloshing around the footwell due to hooooooge rustification. The headlights were shit anyway, but the electrics didn't like rain, so they dimmed prodigiously when there was anything more than light drizzle.

 

So in this case I set off at night, in the pissing rain. On he way up the A1 I realised that my feet were not just a bit wet, but now resting in three inches of water. At this point I realised that I could see precisely fuck all of the road because of the shit electrics, and the fact that the heater wasn't working meant that anything I could have seen was even less visible.

 

Oh, and the exhaust was blowing, the driver's door window didn't fit in the frame and rattled INCESSANTLY, and the engine was so old and tired that it really couldn't cope with more than 60mph.

 

13 hours. Thirteen fucking hours. Pure sodding torture.

[cms206]

Mercedes Vitos cripple me, as do Sprinters. Whoever thought that throttle was a good idea needs a fucking good shoeing.

[DSdriver]

A long time ago my brother in law drove to the South of France and back in a bubble car complete with friend and camping gear. I think the trip involved a roadside engine rebuild at some point. But had highlights like squeezing in a couple of female hitch-hikers.

[Lacquer Peel]

The worst car I've travelled in over a long distance was a Peugeot 407 (complete with panoramic non-opening sunroof for extra greenhouse points) with the heating stuck on, in the summer in central Europe when temperatures were up to 38C.

[tooSavvy]

Once had a Vectra C 2.0 DTi Estate as a pool car, that would cut the throttle if you tried to accelerate hard, only fix was turn engine off for a few secs and then turn it back on! Interesting when you are in the outside lane of the A34.

 

My VxCombo 1.4lpg had a similar quirk!! Cutting out* in heavy rain... Buttcrack Trouserchomping in the outside lane of M6 (in whiteout spray conditions).

 

* & freewheel to a halt

 

TS

[Lacquer Peel]

Mercedes Vitos cripple me, as do Sprinters. Whoever thought that throttle was a good idea needs a fucking good shoeing.

 

Not only that, the newer 4 pot Sprinters are really difficult to drive smoothly, first gear is like a super low crawler gear and they stall if you try to pull away in second.

[dean36014]

I had a fiat 900 camper van.I attempted to take it to Cornwall. 60 mph was about flat out screaming, top heavy, wandered all over the road. Eventually around Bristol the waterpump seized up and melted the centre out the plastic fan attached to it. Never have I been so happy to get in the cab of a breakdown truck, did I want to continue to Cornwall? No thanks, just take me home!

[barefoot]

I once drove my t2 down to the south of France.

I calculated 900 miles

Over three days

Three hundred miles a day

Between 50 & 60 mph = five or six hours driving.

It is not, I drove all fucking day for three days

And after a week I had to do it all over again.

[Supernaut]

The worst car I've travelled in over a long distance was a Peugeot 407 (complete with panoramic non-opening sunroof for extra greenhouse points) with the heating stuck on, in the summer in central Europe when temperatures were up to 38C.

Try sitting in the middle rear seat of one of those for an hour and a half. My back still hurts thinking about it, and that was in 2005!

 

The worst car I've driven any sort of distance was my 306 HDi estate after it shat its crank pulley. See, on the HDi engines, the crank pulley is 'damped'. It's got a metal ring for the bolt to go through, rubber, then a metal outer ring for the belt to go round.

See where this can go wrong? Yeah, the rubber perishes after about 100k miles or so (mine was on 115k) and the pulley goes eccentric, shredding the aux belt. No PAS or alternator for you, sir.

I ended up driving it to my parents' farm 30 miles away. It wasn't so bad once it was rolling, but the steering was a pig at walking pace or below. I then replaced the crank pulley with a solid metal one and noticed no fucking difference whatsoever in terms of NVH. Well done Peugeot. Also, the solid metal pulley was £100 including overnight courier, whereas the stealers wanted £160 + VAT for the OEM 'damped' one. Fuck that.

[laser wheels]

In terms of pure unsuitability I must nominate the SportKa. 'The rides too hard!', they said. 'The gear ratios are all wrong!', they said. 'The wheels are too big!', they said. I thought they were being soft. I have happily driven some right old knackers, but this thing is on another level. Anything but billiard table smooth surfaces feel like this:

 

 

It smashes across every pot hole and crack like it is running on it's bump stops, and the engine noise is deafening. Even at 3000rpm it's horrendous. Joined a dual carriage the other day and went to go up to 4th - then realised I was already in 5th. And then there is the tyre noise, and the fuel economy. I don't mind OMGMPG if I'm having fun but I'm not. Because of the horrendous discomfort I drive like an old lady even on the motorway and still get hideous economy. By comparison I would rag the Puma everywhere and it still merely sipped at the fuel.

 

It will probably get you to your destination okay but the journey will be a miserable experience.

[Sloth in a bowl]

I once drove my t2 down to the south of France.

I calculated 900 miles

Over three days

Three hundred miles a day

Between 50 & 60 mph = five or six hours driving.

It is not, I drove all fucking day for three days

And after a week I had to do it all over again.

 

That's when you learn the trick is to drive at night, 90km/h on non-Auto routes all the way and relax with no traffic.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Never had a car that I dreaded long distances in, but the Uno had the effect of sending my right foot to sleep after a couple of hours which meant that I couldn't feel the brake pedal.

[Noel Tidybeard]

pidgeon 406 OMGFUCKINUNCOMFORTABLESEATS- 25 miles was bad enuff but cornwarll AND BACK