Renault Laguna, Y reg. But why, Reg?

[scaryoldcortina]

Because it's free. Broken and abandoned in a car park for the last three weeks, but FREE.

 

Tomorrow I will embark on a thrilling* and dangerous* collection mission spanning two counties and literally tens of miles just to save an old Renault that no-one wants, and then I'll post stuff on the internet about it.

 

[beko1987]

That keycard holder conjours up all sorts of premium thoughts, all of which are dashed by the car itself...

[Bren]

  On 21/11/2015 at 17:29, beko1987 said:

That keycard holder conjours up all sorts of premium thoughts, all of which are dashed by the car itself...

I know what you mean - you can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter...

[anonymous user]

  On 21/11/2015 at 17:51, Bren said:

I know what you mean - you can't polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter...

or sheath it in leather

[Cavcraft]

*Thread watched.

[RoadworkUK]

This will be fascinating. And quite possibly harrowing.

[phil_lihp]

How bad can it be?  Looking forward to this one.

[Pillock]

  On 21/11/2015 at 20:14, phil_lihp said:

How bad can it be?  

 

1. It's a Renault
2. It's a Renault Laguna
3. Someone else has clearly decided life is too short to bother with it
4. It costs less than a Freddo.
5. RENAULT LAGOOOOOONA

[phil_lihp]

Well...he hasn't yet confirmed if it is a diesel and/or automatic.

[Pillock]

That's why I stopped at 5.

[scaryoldcortina]

  On 21/11/2015 at 20:34, phil_lihp said:

Well...he hasn't yet confirmed if it is a diesel and/or automatic.

It's a 1.8 pez and a manuel.

[loserone]

A pair of wire cutters seems to be a reasonable tool to have nearby to the keycard there Mr OC.

[Felly Magic]

What could possibly go right?

[scaryoldcortina]

^ You have a point - if current forum luck is anything to go by I'll probably skid on black ice then hit a tree on the way home.

[Parky]

I am really really looking forward to this. Sincerely hoping it's a minor mechanical issue and not some bullshit electrical malady that led to its current location. Good luck or as they say in la belle France, bone chance mon ami.

 

In fact I believe all Laguna salespeople were ordered by Renault to wish customers luck and hide a lucky rabbits foot in the car as a reserve quality control procedure

[Burnside]

May God have mercy on your soul !

 

Good luck with it scaryoldcortina we have the missfortune of acquiring a 2003 Laguna 1.9 DCI Sports Tourer.

 

As a static object it's great as a car it fucking useless. We had it 3 months and it spent more time in the garage than on the road.

 

Will be following this with interest in the hope you found the worlds only fully working Laguna II.

[chaseracer]

Now THIS is how you do a Renner collekshun fred.

 

Incidentally, FPB7 has an ideal instrument for making a keyhole in the side window, should you need it.  Which you will, at some point.

[Vince70]

Be careful when you pick the car up from the carpark as Renault buying is fraught with danger especially from terrorism or is that only if you buy a Renault 20.

 

I can see this happening..

But you might need an Emmet Brown to get the electrics fully working on a Laguna but time travel will be impossible as a Laguna II will go into safe mode long before it reaches 88mph.

 

Good luck with Laguna I hope it works out ok hopefully the 1.8 is more reliable than the 2.0 litre petrol engine as I still have nightmares from owning ours, in the end it stayed unlocked on the drive and I used as a garden ornament but it was a nice place to sit if I ever locked myself out the house from time to time that was till the front Spring snapped and the leather on the seat fell apart.

 

But it did have one good feature and that was the stereo worked well when waiting for the breakdown truck to arrive but I believe that wasn't made by Renault.

[cort16]

Apparently that kadjar thing Renault have coming out has a key with no hole to attach it to a key ring. Causing some problems in dealerships.

 

[wuvvum]

I have had three Laguna 2s. Two of them stayed running for long enough for me to sell them again.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I wouldn't kick a 2-litre beater one of these out of bed (pez engine obvs)

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Fine cars. My 1.9DCi Tourer was a nice thing and it's still running and being used as a minicab.

 

I'd gladly have a 1.8 petroleum Tourer.

[sierraman]

I'd love one but I couldn't justify what would be tantamount to throwing several hundred quid down the swanny.

[HH-R]

"Kadjar" is an incredibly toss name, no doubt it's supposed represent "synergies of blue sky thinking outside of the box for those who live life to the fullest" or some shit like that.

[Ghosty]

Yes. And then there's the Renault Captur where they spelled 'capture' wrong but still pronounced it like that - cap-turr surely?

[Dave_Q]

If ever there was a car that was the opposite of a Tagora or J reg Proton, it's this.

 

Cullecshun oopD8 pls?

[Lacquer Peel]

  On 22/11/2015 at 15:48, Ghosty said:

Yes. And then there's the Renault Captur where they spelled 'capture' wrong but still pronounced it like that - cap-turr surely?

 

Average Renault Captur driver, yesterday.

http://www.scotlandsworstdrivers.com/breathtaking-footage-of-brake-check-driver-on-motorway-1-7357/

[mercrocker]

He's still trying to get in it.....

[anonymous user]

I may be strange but think a free car is a free car,  it's free and it's a car. At the moment it may be non-functioning so the worst that can happen is that it is a really big pile of poo and has to be weighed in while the price of scrap is down.

 

It's much, much, worse when you have paid good money for it and even worserer if it was borrowed money. I have little experience of the Laguna so will bow to the accepted wisdom that they are really, really bad, but it's free and it's a car.

[scaryoldcortina]

Ok, here we go then.

 

Because I don't know what is wrong with the car, I grabbed a bag and threw some likely looking equipment into it. Multimeter, OBD reader, powerprobe, jump leads, a pack of fuses and spanners and sockets in 10 and 13mm (for battery changing), and a charged battery.

 

 

Daughter arrives to collect me, she agrees to hang around until I've got it started, but then is going to leave because she has "stuff" to do.

 

 

So off we go to gateshead (team valley) in the previous free car, a Fabia SDI. It's about then that I realize that as well as not knowing what is wrong with it, I don't know exactly where it is. Somewhere near the Fruit & Veg market I think... Oh well, sunday lunchtime so the car park should be empty.

 

 

No, there is a line of cars all going there because....

 

 

Good god, how rough do you have to be to get barred from a car boot? (JAG MK10 best for bodies etc....)

 

So there is a full car park and loads of people. Wonder where the car is then?